In this article, you will learn how to stop excessive and repetitive thinking in its tracks and feel more relaxed and peaceful instead.  I believe that repetitive and excessive thinking is a habit, possibly even an addiction. 

In this article, I cover 12 highly effective ways to reduce or stop excessive and repetitive thinking, before it stops you! I’ll also talk about the reasons why you overthink things, the likely triggers and how to know the difference between useful thinking and excessive thinking.

So, if you want to stop excessive and repetitive thinking today, then this article will really help you.

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Could excessive and repetitive thinking be a habit or even an addiction? Could you be addicted to your thinking and reluctant to let go of it? Maybe you believe that if you don’t think about something fully, then something bad is going to happen.

So why is excessive and repetitive thinking a problem? Well, it makes the problem bigger than it really is. It can even seem scarier. Think about any past fear in your life. What made it worse? Probably thinking about it too much.

Now think about an unexpected event that happened in your life where you had to act quickly with little or no time to think. What was the fear like then? – Probably a lot less.

So overthinking increases fear. It also reduces the enjoyment of positive things that you are looking forward to. For example, you have a party coming up and you start thinking about this party quite a lot. You think about how you will act, interact with others and how others will react to you. You then show up at the party, and you find it hard to relax and get into the party spirit. This happened because the overthinking beforehand has subtly raised your level of anxiety making it harder to relax and enjoy the party.

Excessive and repetitive thinking also keeps you out of the present. Instead, you have thoughts about regrets from the past or you’re worried about the future.

Thinking is good and is absolutely essential. It’s overthinking that becomes a problem. So how do you know when you have tipped the balance from thinking to overthinking or excessive thinking?

A normal or useful amount of thinking will help you solve a problem. Excessive and repetitive thinking keeps you in the problem, it keeps you stuck.

You now know what excessive or repetitive thinking is and how to know when you’re doing it. I will now cover 12 powerful and effective ways to help you stop or reduce overthinking.

1. Identify the Specific Fear behind the excessive thoughts

It’s time to get really specific with the fear behind these excessive thoughts. When you overthink things, your mind comes up with vague fears or disaster scenarios without really thinking about what could actually happen.

Ask yourself, what is the worse thing that could happen? Get really specific on what that worst case scenario is and how you would deal with it. By doing this, you will realize that the worst-case scenario is often not as scary as your mind makes it out to be.

2. Reconnect with your senses

When you notice yourself overthinking things, change your focus to your senses. Notice and become completely absorbed in what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and perhaps even tasting. As you notice things, don’t give them a name or meaning (you want to turn this part of your mind off for a while). For example, you’re outside and you notice this lovely flower. You look at it, really get into the detail of the flower. However, you don’t give it a name, think about what it is, or whether you like it or not. Instead, you simply notice it for what it is. Keep doing this with other things, just noticing them with your senses but not thinking about them.

Another way of reconnecting with your senses is to focus on parts of your body. This is also a great way to relax too! Start with your forehead, eyes, cheeks and jaw muscles and consciously notice and relax these muscles. Then continue with your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, stomach, back, lower back, waist, legs, feet, and toes. Focus on how each part of your body currently feels and then imagine the muscles relaxing. The wonderful thing about this exercise is that it gets you out of your head, (your prefrontal cortex to be precise!) and allows you to focus on your body instead.

I highly recommend doing this body awareness exercise regularly. Set reminders on your phone throughout the day to remind you to take a few minutes to do this.

3. Make decisions super quick!

The way to combat overthinking about decisions is to set short decision deadlines. If it’s a small decision such as whether to answer an email, set yourself 30 seconds to decide whether to do that now or later. For bigger decisions (ones that currently take days or weeks), set yourself 30 or 60 minutes to go through all the information then make that decision. Or decide, that you’re going to make that decision by the end of TODAY.

4. Go into the future

Ask yourself, is what I’m thinking about right now, going to really matter in five weeks, five months, or even five years? If the answer is no (and it very often is), then decide to stop thinking about it Just answering this question can help reduce the fear that drives the excessive thoughts.

This is also a great way to identify whether the thinking is useful or excessive. If the answer is no, then you know that it’s just a minor worry that you can let go of.

5. Realize that you cannot control everything

Overthinking is often used as a way to attempt to control every possible outcome or scenario. Or, to avoid making a mistake. However, it’s impossible to predict all possible scenarios in advance, Everyone, even the super successful, make mistakes and that’s okay. Making mistakes is how you learn.

Become more comfortable with making mistakes. Let go of the fear of doing things incorrectly. When you do that, the emotional need to overthink and control every possible scenario will reduce. It’s also very energy draining, so the more that you can let go of control, the more relaxed you will feel.

6. Have trust in a larger process

This larger process will be unique to you and could include God, a universal power, or simply the confidence that you will naturally do the right thing. It could be believing that the right thing will happen naturally.

Alternatively, focus on the what and forget the how. Get really clear and specific on what you want to happen, but be very open and flexible to how it happens. If this fits in with your belief system, then imagine that a higher power will work out the how for you.

7. Know your triggers

Habits and addictions require a trigger to set them off. This trigger can be a situation, person or a time of the day. So, if excessive thinking is a habit, then there will be situations, people and events that trigger this too.

Notice what the triggers are and write them down. Is it a particular person or situation? Once you know what the triggers are, ask yourself, “what can I think and do instead that will make me feel happier and more in control?”.

8. Meditation

Meditation is great because it helps you to observe your overactive mind and any excessive and repetitive thoughts. It also allows you to step back and observe your thoughts. It helps you to realize that you are not your thoughts, but rather the presence behind those thoughts.

Here is a great meditation exercise to help you slow down and reduce the excessive and repetitive thoughts. Imagine you are watching a busy road from a safe place. It’s rush hour and you see the cars going past bumper to bumper. It gets later and later and the number of cars starts to reduce. You notice the space between the cars becoming greater and greater. As you notice this, you become aware of spaces between your thoughts and even moments of silence or absence of thought.

Any type of meditation will work because it focusses your mind on one thing. This could be your breathing, a mantra, a visualization (like the car example above) or someone’s voice (if listening to a guided meditation). By focussing on one thing, you can take a step back and realize that you are not your thoughts, you are the presence behind your thoughts.

9. Dissassociating

Imagine that you are about to do a parachute jump. You are on a plane, looking down, ready to jump and you’ve never done this before. You will probably notice emotions in your body right now. It may be fear or perhaps adrenaline.

Now, imagine the same experience on a movie, a TV screen or even your smartphone screen. See yourself on the plane getting ready to jump and notice how that feels. It’s likely that any feelings will be less intense.

The technique of imagining watching an experience on a screen is called disassociation. It’s a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) term. You can use this in any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. In that disassociated state, you will often get new insights on how to deal with the situation. It will give you the space to think about it more logically.

10. Change Life Goals

Setting unrealistic life goals can force your mind to spend too much time trying to figure out how you’re going to achieve them. In this case, the solution is to make the goals more realistic. I often set myself goals that are very challenging and have really noticed how easy it is to think excessively about how I’m going to achieve these goals. I’ve seen how this can negatively affect my mental health, so I’m a little more realistic now.

11. Notice thoughts, but don’t judge them

Notice your thoughts and become really curious about them. However, don’t judge these thoughts. Even if a really negative thought comes up, just notice it for what it is, just a thought.

Then ask yourself, “is this thought helpful and productive, or is it getting in the way?” If the thought is getting in the way, ask yourself, “what could be a more helpful or productive thought?”.

For this to work best, become really curious about your thoughts, have a sense of fun and playfulness about it.

12. Say “At this moment, I am okay.”

When you notice yourself thinking excessively or repetitively about something, say “At this moment, I am okay“.

In the vast majority of situations, this will be true. Saying this mantra or affirmation will also help you to let go of thoughts about regretting the past or worrying about the future.

You could also say to yourself “right now, everything is good and I am safe and comfortable

So these are 12 wonderful ways to help you overcome excessive and repetitive thinking once and for all. I encourage you to practice and apply these methods and find out which ones work best for you.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

The ability to control and change your emotions has a profound influence on your level of success and happiness. When you feel great, everything seems much easier and things happen very naturally and almost effortlessly. You’re in the zone and life is great!

Being able to successfully control and change your emotions involves becoming responsible for your emotional state. This is not easy to do, but when you really understand what triggers your emotional state, you will be able to take charge of how you feel when life throws you a curve ball!

In this article, I’ll cover 9 specific ways to help you control and change your emotions right now. I know that if you apply these specific techniques and mind shift changes to your own life, things will start to change for you. Positive emotions such as joy, happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, and love will become more apparent in your life and your overall mental state will improve dramatically.

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How most people think about emotions

This is how most people believe emotions work.

A situation happens and you either feel good or bad. For example, you get a great new job and you feel excited and can’t wait to start. You get praised for work you’ve done well, and that makes you feel good. It’s the run-up to your holiday and you’re excited. You get a kind gesture from your partner or friend and that makes you feel good too.

It works the other way as well. A difficult boss criticizes your work and you feel not good enough. You experience “post-holiday blues” after your holiday. You feel frustrated over a lack of money or anxious about an illness or pain in the body.

The problem with this way of thinking is that your emotional state depends on something or someone else. It is not within your control. It’s also a problem because how you act depends on how you feel. When you feel excited, inspired, happy and confident, you’re far more likely to perform better and do more. When you feel angry, depressed, sad or frustrated, you’re more likely to procrastinate or sabotage yourself or say something that you regret later.

So most people believe that their ability to act depends on how they feel. How they feel depends on outside situations or life events and these are not completely within your control. We can influence situations and life events, but we cannot completely control them. However, your perception and reaction to outside events is within your control.

How emotions really work

This is how it really works! A situation or life event occurs and that creates a thought about it. This thought then generates some meaning about that situation. That meaning is dependent on a belief that you have. The belief will often be dependent on a past experience. This then generates an emotion, that then generates a behavior or action and this leads to a result. The result then generates a new emotion based on your perception of how well it went.

So our feelings and emotions come from our thoughts about situations or life events. However, most people don’t see it this way because it all happens so fast and is very very unconscious.

Here is an example of how this works. Two people from the same company get made redundant. The first person has the thought “I’ll never get another job” This might be backed up by the core belief that “I’m not good enough“, so this person feels sad, angry, resentful or frustrated. He might also have other thoughts such as “I’m bad at interviews”, or “I’m too old to find another job” that also back up the core belief of “I’m not good enough”. These also generate other negative feelings.

The second person after being made redundant has thoughts such as “I have great skills and experience”, or “I did a really good job there”, or “It’s time for a change anyway”, or “I can get a job with more money”. Behind all these thoughts is the core belief that “I am good enough” As a result, this person feels positive emotions such as confidence, acceptance, or even excitement. This will spur him into finding a new job or even starting his own business.

So it is the meaning that you give to the situation or life event that creates the thoughts, then emotions, rather than the actual event. Being made redundant has no meaning in itself. You unconsciously give it a meaning and that meaning is different for each person.

Another pitfall is that people only assign one meaning to a situation. There could be many different meanings or interpretations. Ask yourself “what else could this mean?” Remember that “the only meaning this has is the meaning you give it

Now it’s time to learn how to break this automatic trigger between situations and emotions. As this is very unconscious and automatic, this may take some effort, time and persistence, but trust me, it will be worth the effort. Here are some wonderful ways to help you control and change your emotions.

1. Awareness

It all starts with awareness. Remind yourself that you are in control of how you feel. Remind yourself that you generate the thought (the meaning) to a situation. The thought (and the belief behind it) generates an emotion. This emotion then spurs you into action (or inaction) and this leads to further thoughts and emotions that seem dependent on how the action goes.

As you’re awareness improves, you will start to catch yourself when situations happen that make you feel bad. You can interrupt the pattern by generating new thoughts and a new meaning to this situation. Then notice how your emotions change.

The earlier you catch yourself the better. Once the negative emotion becomes more intense, blood flows away from the prefrontal cortex (the logical, reasoning part of your brain) to the amygdala (the emotional brain). This is why it’s hard to think straight when you feel stressed or emotional.

If you don’t catch yourself in time, then wait until the emotions die down and then ask “how else could I look at this?”. “What positive thoughts and meanings could I give to this situation?”

This will help you take 100% responsibility for your emotions and this is essential for your emotional health.

2. Know when it is okay to feel bad

Major life events require some kind of adjustment or grieving process. These could include.

  • Death of a loved one
  • Relationship breakup
  • Redundancy
  • Major health challenge or scare

Part of the grieving process involves taking the time to really express all the sadness and other emotions that you have experienced as a result of this major life event. You will almost certainly need the help of a good friend or perhaps a therapist to help you through this major life change.

Use this time as an opportunity to take stock of your life and perhaps make some changes. Sometimes, your best life-changing decisions can come at the darkest of times.

The goal of the grieving process is to gain acceptance. This takes time, so be gentle on yourself.

3. Release Negative Emotions

When it comes to dealing with emotions, many people suppress them or hold them inside. This can be bad for your body as it creates additional tension. Also, your unconscious mind cannot hold these emotions inside forever, so it will try and express them. This can explain why some people get upset at what seems like a trivial situation. It’s like the straw that broke the camels back.

The alternative is to express your emotions. This is good for you, but is not so good if you are expressing your emotions to your partner or a close friend regularly. At these times, the help of a good therapist can help you express and then release these emotions once and for all.

The third option (which most people don’t know about) is to release the emotions. My favorite method for releasing emotions is the Sedona Method. Hypnotherapy and the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) are great options as well.

4. The 7 Day Emotional Awareness Exercise

This is a great exercise to help you control and change your emotions. It involves becoming more aware of your emotions and the things that seem to trigger them. For the next 7 days, become extra aware of your negative emotions. Stop and notice how you are feeling. Become aware of the thoughts behind the emotion and write them down. Ask “what kind of thoughts am I thinking right now?”

The key here is not to stop the negative emotions. Instead, you begin to notice the thoughts and write them down. You won’t catch all of them, but you will catch enough of them to see the link between your feelings and the thoughts that are behind them.

5. Change the meaning by asking questions

The next way is to change the meaning of these thoughts by asking yourself questions like :

  • What’s good about this?
  • What else could this mean?

Asking the right questions forces your mind to find the good in the situation or event. Sometimes, it will take some perseverance to find the good, but it will always be there when you look for it and ask the right questions.

6. Change your focus

This is similar to changing the meaning, but is more around your consistent thoughts and what you imagine about the situation. In the redundancy example, start focussing more on what you want. This could be imagining successful interviews, seeing lots of opportunities out there, reminding yourself of all the great skills and experience that you already have. The key is to spend more time and emotional energy on focussing on what you want.

7. Change your Physiology

Emotions are very associated with your body. If you’re feeling a negative emotion, its likely that your head will be down, your shoulders forward, you won’t be smiling and your breathing will be shallow.

When you notice this, consciously do the opposite. Put your head up, smile, breathe deeply and move your shoulders back and notice how the feeling or emotion changes. If you want to feel confident, think about the physiology of a confident person. They will be smiling, their head will be up, they will be talking clearly, using gestures and looking relaxed.

When you change your physiology, your emotions will change and then your thoughts will change as well. By acting first, your thoughts then follow.

8. Change your Language

What you say to yourself and to other people has a large effect on how you feel.

Start by banishing the word “I can’t” and start speaking to others in positive ways as much as possible. When you say things like “I’m not good at interviews” or “I’m not very confident”, your unconscious mind hears that. It’s like a negative affirmation. Although you are saying this to someone else, your unconscious mind still picks up on this.

9. Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations when used consistently will begin to change your emotional state, not just when you say them, but at other times as well. Here are two great affirmations to help you improve your emotional state right now!

  • I can change how I feel right now
  • I am in charge of how I feel.

So these are 9 great ways to control and change your emotions right now and develop more spontaneous and unconscious positive emotions over time. As I mentioned earlier, the thoughts behind situations that create negative emotions are often very unconscious and very fast. So it will take time to generate these new patterns and it is important to be consistent.

One of the best ways to consistently control and change your emotions is to have a morning ritual. This is one or more things that you do first thing in the morning to reprogram your mind for success. To help you create a powerful morning ritual that will help you change your emotions quickly, I highly recommend a program called Morning Ritual Mastery. I have used this program several times to create effective and empowering morning rituals in my life so that I set myself up for success every day!

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

In this article, you will learn how to easily improve your self-image today.  I will also cover the symptoms of a low self-image and the types of behaviors that are common when your self-image is low.

I’ll then cover 9 effective and practical ways to improve your self-image so that you can feel better about yourself right now. What would your life be like when you improve your self-image? It’s easier than you think and in this article, I’ll show you how.

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Self-image is what you think about yourself, it’s who you are and what you think other people think of you.

To help you understand what self-image really is, I’m going to talk about a plastic surgeon called Maxwell Maltz. He used plastic surgery to help people look better. He noticed that around 80% of people that underwent plastic surgery, acted differently as a result of looking better.  Basically, the surgery had caused their self-image to change.

However, the remaining 20%, continued to behave the same way.  When studying the 20% that didn’t change, Maxwell Maltz realized that in spite of the plastic surgery, their self-image, their internal sense of themselves had not changed. If this was the case, then perhaps people could improve their self-image without having surgery. It was this insight that led to Maxwell Maltz writing an incredibly successful self-help book called “PsychoCybernetics“.  This was the first self-help book that I ever read! – Highly recommended!

The core idea in this book is that we have some kind of mental picture of ourselves, which he calls our self-image.  When your self-image is low, you’ll tend to do things that don’t help you, such as eating junk food or drinking too much or taking drugs.  You might say negative things about other people as a way of boosting your self-esteem. You might avoid doing things that make you happy.

Our self-image or sense of self is often quite unconscious. The way you behave in any given moment depends on how much you like yourself in that moment.  Your self-image is not static, it’s constantly changing throughout the day. When your self-image is low, you might say things like, “I don’t deserve this” or “I’m not worthy”.

What people with a low self-image typically do

I’m now going to cover some common behavioral traits of people with low self-image.

People with a low self-image tend to compare themselves with others. Notice the times when you compare yourself with other people, judge others or even criticize other people.  This is a common sign that your self-image has taken a hit and you’re trying to use other people to give it a boost.

Another behavioral trait is being unable to receive compliments. Imagine someone comes up to you and says “you did that brilliantly”. What would you say in return?  A person with a high self-image would probably smile and say “thank you”. A person with a low self-image might say something like “it was okay”, “it was nothing really”, or ” I could have done it better”  Which of these statements could you relate to?

People with a low self-image also find it really hard to give compliments to other people.  It could be because they are too much in their own head to notice the wonderful work of other people or it may be a fear of the compliment coming out all wrong.

Low self-image can also make it hard to ask for what you want or leave you feeling envious or jealous of other people.

You might also find yourself focussing on the needs of other people too much.   This can be difficult to judge.  If you feel good helping others, then it’s coming from the right place within yourself.  If it’s feeling like a chore and your own needs are getting neglected, then that’s going to lower your self-image over time.

Another one to watch is excessive negative self-talk. If you’re noticing a lot of internal dialogue or self-talk in your head, then this can be a characteristic of having a low self-image as well.

So how do you improve your self-image? To some extent, it is doing the opposite of what I’ve just covered above.  However, I’m going to cover specific ways to help you improve your self-image today.

1. Don’t Compare Yourself with Others

You never really know what is going on in someone else’s head, so it’s almost impossible to really compare yourself with anyone else. You might notice someone that is really confident and self-assured on the outside. They look like they’re really together, but their internal world of thoughts and feelings could be very different!

Focus on being your authentic self instead.  Act as you would really like to be.

Instead of comparing yourself with others, compare yourself with where you want to be. Think about where you are now and compare that with where you want to be in a month, a year or five years time.

2. Give and Receive Compliments

Giving compliments gets you out of your own head and focussing on other people.  You begin to develop a sense of gratitude for who they are and what they do.  You focus on what you can learn from others.  This is so different from comparing yourself with others because it comes from a place of gratitude and abundance.

Then start graciously accepting compliments. When someone gives you a compliment, just smile and say “thank you”. That’s it!  Think about how Richard Branson would accept a compliment. He would probably smile and say “thank you”.

Also, take the time to notice how lovely it feels when someone compliments you.

4. Separate Your Behavior from You

What you do and how you act or behave is not related to your self-image, your self worth or sense of who you are.

If you make a mistake, it’s not part of you. It doesn’t mean you’re a stupid person, you just made a mistake. If you upset someone, don’t make that part of who you are. Just realize that you upset someone, it wasn’t intentional and that you’ll learn from the experience. It does not mean that you’re a bad person, You might feel a bit guilty, but that won’t last for as long if you don’t define this incident as part of who you are.

5. Develop a Morning Routine or Morning Ritual

A morning routine or ritual is doing something proactive for you first thing in the morning. You do this before you do anything else. There are lots of things you can do including meditating, reciting positive affirmations, journaling or visualizing yourself and the person you want to become. You could use this time to read books, watch videos or listen to podcasts that develop the mind.

Whatever you decide to do, the key is to take some time out for yourself, to work on proactively improving your mind and emotions, so you’re looking forward to the day and you’re programming your day for success.  This can do wonders for your level of self-image because you are putting yourself first and you’re working consistently on improving your mental (and perhaps) physical health as well.

If you would like some help on how to create an empowering morning ritual, then click here to check out Morning Ritual Mastery.

6. Think Good Things About You

Any negative thoughts that you have about yourself are no more accurate than the alternative positive thoughts. It’s impossible to know which thoughts are more accurate. Even if the negative thoughts were more accurate, they are going to make you feel bad and who wants that?

So you might as well think the kind of thoughts, that will make you feel good, excited and inspired!  Some examples include “today is a great day” or “I’m a good person and good things happen to me”, or “I am enough”, or “I am good enough”. Say affirmations like these regularly to yourself throughout the day.

7. Say Good Things About You

Now that you are thinking good things about you, it becomes easier to say good things about you.

Start by stopping yourself from saying anything negative about yourself. When a negative thought comes to mind (and it will), resist the temptation to say it to another person. It’s better to keep your mouth shut than to say something that makes you feel bad.

8. Look After Your Body

This is easier said than done, because when you have a low self-image, you don’t feel like exercising, eating the right foods or doing the right things to nourish your body.

The solution is to “act as if”. Do the exercise, make healthy food and drink choices even when you don’t feel like it.  When you “act as if”, your self-image and self-worth will improve.

Do just one minute of jumping jacks, running on the spot or simply smiling! Eat well and exercise regularly and you’ll soon have more energy and you’ll feel better about yourself. You’ll feel more motivated and your self-confidence will improve as well.

9. Visualize How You Want To Be

It’s the current thoughts and images in your mind about who you are now, that lead to a low self-image and feelings of low self-esteem,

Instead, think and imagine the you that you would like to become. Think about how you will act in different situations in a new and confident way. Notice how things will change in your life.

This is a great thing to do regularly as part of a morning routine. When you visualize who you want to become consistently, you will change your sense of identity and the inner feeling of who you are.

When your identity, your sense of who you are, changes, your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behavior change to reflect this new identity.

So these are my practical ways to help you easily improve your self-image today, I hope you found these useful and I encourage you to practice them. Start applying these on a daily basis and notice how your self-image starts to improve and old thoughts and ideas begin to fade away.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Thank you for reading this article.  Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

Have you ever wondered how to reprogram your subconscious mind for success? The good news is that it’s easier than you think. When you do this correctly, success feels natural and you instinctively do the right things to get the results that you want.

In this article, I cover 7 great ways to reprogram your subconscious mind for success. There are many ways to do this and they all work really well when applied consistently.

Learn how to reprogram your subconscious mind for success. Experience what it’s like when your conscious and subconscious mind are working together.

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What is the subconscious mind? Well, many people describe it as like an iceberg. There is a small part that is visible which represents the conscious mind and the larger, submerged part that you don’t see, which represents the subconscious mind.

You can also think of the subconscious mind as everything that you’re not aware of right now.  The conscious mind can only focus on about six to ten bits of information at any one time. So, to show you what I mean, I want you to start thinking about your left foot. You have now become conscious of your left foot, but you weren’t until I mentioned it.

The subconscious mind also controls your breathing, heart rate, and sleep. A crucial difference between your conscious and subconscious mind is that the subconscious mind does not reason or filter information. Instead, it faithfully records all your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

This is a good thing and a bad thing. It’s a good thing when learning to drive.  At first, everything took your complete conscious awareness. For example, changing gears, steering, and all the road rules. However, as you practiced driving more and more, it became more automatic. This is because your subconscious mind remembered and stored all these behaviors so you didn’t have to think about them consciously.  Now you can drive and hold a conversation at the same time.

It can be a bad thing if you have a very negative experience or some kind of trauma.  Your subconscious mind faithfully records this experience in the same way. It then brings this up in other future situations as a way of protecting you. You might find that you keep recalling this negative experience and then get the negative feelings from it.

How do you reprogram your subconscious mind for success? Well, here are 7 easy, highly effective and practical ways to do this.

1. Affirmations

Affirmations are short, positive, present tense statements that you can read to yourself or say out loud. You can also record them and then play them back regularly. The key thing with affirmations is repeating them consistently and often so that they become a belief.  The affirmation begins to feel true for you. This then overrides any old negative beliefs.

As you keep repeating them, your subconscious mind will pick up on the affirmations and new thoughts, feelings, and behaviors will happen automatically. Just like learning to drive a car, the new affirmations will become natural, instinctive and a part of your behavior and personality.

The thing about affirmations is that you’re probably using them already without realizing it!  Any negative thought that you have often is an affirmation!  As you’re repeating affirmations unconsciously anyway, it makes sense to start saying positive affirmations to replace those negative ones.

2. Creative Visualization

Your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined. When you vividly imagine something, you are using the same circuits in your brain as you would for a real experience.

Athletes and sports people know this. They use visualization consciously and unconsciously. For them, it’s called mental rehearsal. They mentally visualize winning, playing the perfect shot or getting through the finish line in record time.

I cover creative visualization in another article that you can read here.  The key points are to ensure that you are relaxed before you start.  Then visualize on a large screen (like a large movie screen), use lots of colors and incorporate all your senses.  Notice the sounds, feelings, even smell and taste as well as what you see.

3. Self-Hypnosis or Guided Meditation

This involves getting into a very relaxed state and then either listening to a guided self-hypnosis or meditation recording or simply repeating positive statements to yourself as a mantra.

Being in a relaxed state is super important as this will influence your brain waves. In normal waking consciousness, you will be in the Beta brain wave state.  This level of brain activity is required for reasoning, making decisions or analyzing information.

When you meditate, use self-hypnosis or simply daydream, your brain waves slow down to the Alpha state. In this state, your brain is much more receptive to learning new information. This is why this state is great for meditation or self-hypnosis.

When your brain waves slow down even further, you go into the Theta brainwave state.  This is when you experience Rapid Eye Movement and is similar to when you are just drifting off to sleep or just waking up.  In this state, you are even more receptive to new positive ideas and to visualizing new positive outcomes in your life.  It’s also great for much deeper meditations.

In both Alpha and Theta state, your internal dialogue or self-talk becomes much less intense. This is important as this self-talk can often question new ideas. When the self-talk is less intense (or completely absent), new positive ideas (either from a recording or by saying them to yourself) can sink in more deeply to your subconscious mind.

The best times to do self-hypnosis and guided meditations are first thing in the morning or just before going to sleep.  At these times, your brain is already in the Alpha state. However, don’t let that stop you. At other times, just spend five minutes relaxing, so that your brain waves slow down before listening to a self-hypnosis or guided meditation recording or before repeating the new positive ideas.

4. Think and Speak Positive

As mentioned earlier, your subconscious mind does not reason. It doesn’t choose what goes in there. It just faithfully records what you think, say, feel and do.

And your subconscious mind does not understand the word not or don’t. So when you say “I’m not stressed”, your subconscious mind has to think about (or imagine) the feeling of stress.

Here is a little exercise for you to do right now!

Think or say the phrase “Don’t eat that cheesecake”.  What do you notice as you think or say that? – I’m guessing that you are imagining a cheesecake.  You might see it in your imagination or even imagine tasting it.  Your subconscious mind typically thinks in pictures. To think about NOT having something, it has to imagine it first.

Start by noticing the words that you speak. Are they positive? Are you using the word not or don’t often?  Become conscious of the words you say to others first. If they are negative or about what you don’t want, then start to change them.

Once you get comfortable with that, start working on your thoughts. When you notice a negative thought (or a thought about something that you don’t want), begin to challenge or interrupt that thought. Then replace it with something that is more positive.

This is more spontaneous than affirmations. It’s about noticing the thoughts and changing them on the fly to what you do want. Remember that your mind is a muscle and becomes used to a certain way of thinking. So it’s going to take some effort to change this, but it’s really worth it!  When you persevere with it, it will get easier, and more positive ideas will start to impress on your subconscious mind.

5. Influencing Your Dreams

This idea is really interesting!  It’s about influencing your dreams, so they work for you! Dreams are very unconscious and appear to be outside of our direct control.  Dreaming is how your subconscious minds stores important information, skills, and experiences into long term memory  However, you can influence this and here is how to do it.

As you are going to sleep, think about an issue that you would like solved. Then mentally hand this over to your subconscious mind as you go to sleep.  The key is not to think about a specific answer or the specific ways that the issue will be solved.  Instead, you think about the issue and the positive outcome as you go to sleep.

The answer may then appear in your dreams or you wake up with a new insight, a solution or something that you hadn’t thought of.  If you wake up during the night with a new insight, then it is important that you write it down straight away. You may not remember it in the morning.  One way to do this is to have a dream notebook by your bed so you can write these things down easily during the night.

When you go to sleep, your brain waves slow down and your subconscious mind becomes much more receptive to new ideas.  This is one of the reasons why this process can be a very effective way to reprogram your subconscious mind for success.

6. Conscious Practice

Learning to drive a car is a great example of the power of conscious practice.  Same goes for learning a sport or a musical instrument. It always amazes me how a virtuoso pianist can play an entire concerto from memory. How do they do that? What makes them remember all those notes?  How do they remember all those finger positions and do everything at exactly the right time?

Well, it’s because they have practiced, practiced and practiced so much that it has become part of their “muscle memory”. They can play that entire concerto without thinking about playing the notes. Instead, the virtuoso focusses on the music and the nuances of the style. They make it seem so easy!

To achieve that level of success and proficiency, the pianist learned the entire concerto consciously and then memorized it. It’s exactly the same when you practice regularly to get good at a sport or other skill.

However, this also applies to how you think and feel.  The more you focus on what you want and take time to feel good, then the more this impresses on your subconscious mind allowing it to become a natural and automatic part of your personality.

7. Focus on What You Want

I often work with people that have fears and phobias. A certain situation occurs (such as spiders, needles or flying) which creates an immediate and unconscious emotional response.  However, when I delve deeper, I find that they were thinking about this experience negatively for days, weeks, maybe even months before the event arises. So they have been unconsciously programming their subconscious mind to feel fear in that situation.

The solution is to focus on other things or what you want to happen instead. Focus on the likely scenario. For example, feeling relaxed and comfortable on a flight or feeling relaxed and comfortable when you next have an injection or a blood test. Alternatively, consciously focus your mind on something else, anything else! By doing this, you will start to reduce the impact that your subconscious mind has with this type of experience.

So these are my 7 very practical and effective ways to help reprogram your subconscious mind for success. The key is to practice these things consciously until they become unconscious.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

In this article, you will learn a number of practical and effective ways to tame your negative internal voice.  This is the internal dialogue or self-talk that runs a commentary of your life, which is often negative.

What would it be like to stop or reduce this negative internal voice?  You know the one that makes you feel bad or stops you in your tracks.

This article will help you have a different relationship with your negative internal voice so that it controls you less and less.

Watch the video below:

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Listen to the Podcast  

This is really important! You are not your negative internal voice, The inner dialogue inside your head is NOT really you. You’re just the one that hears it. This internal dialogue that you hear affects how you feel, behave, and how you do things. However, the real you is separate from that negative internal voice. The real you is not that internal voice.

The difference between You and your negative internal voice

There are two parts. The first part is You (or your consciousness). This includes your awareness, sense of identity, your ambitions, goals and your core being. The other part is this internal voice that provides a commentary of everything that is happening in your life, including all the things you are seeing, hearing, and feeling. It’s like a sports commentary. When things are going well, the internal voice is quiet and slow. When something exciting happens, then that voice is loud and fast. It’s also loud and fast when something negative or scary happens.

Your internal voice manipulates your experience according to your beliefs, sense of identity, self-image, and self-worth. When all is well, this voice will say nice things to you and make you feel good. When things go badly, this internal voice may say things that make you feel fearful or anxious.

So here are some examples of this internal voice working against you in different situations

  • You make a mistake or do something poorly.  This negative voice says things like “you always make mistakes”, or, “you’re a stupid person”
  • Talking to another person.  Rather than really listening to the other person, this negative voice chirps up and says things like “I don’t like the way he’s talking” or “I don’t like his mannerisms”, or “am I coming across well to this person?”, or “does this person like me?” It’s like this negative internal voice is either judging you or the other person.
  • You’re trying to solve a problem and you keep thinking about it over and over again.
  • You are worrying about future situations. it could be work, health, finances or overall security.  This internal voice runs a negative internal commentary about the future.

Your inner roommate

In his book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, he describes this negative internal voice as your inner roommate. Imagine having this roommate that’s constantly criticizing and saying bad things about you. How would you deal with this roommate? More on this later.

The problem is that your mind engages or pays attention to this endless chatter, or negative internal voice. However, now that you know that this internal voice is not really you, you can begin to separate that voice from the real you.

So, how do you tame your negative internal voice?

1. Become aware of this negative internal voice

The first step to tame your negative internal voice is to notice or become more aware of it. Notice what it says and how it’s saying it. However, make sure that you don’t just blindly follow what it says. Remember, it’s not you. It’s just that negative internal voice.

2. Develop an attitude of curiosity

Rather than blindly following it, start to be more curious about the thoughts and words that come to mind. Ask yourself, “why is it thinking that way?”, or “what is the positive intention behind this?”

Another way is to think of the negative internal voice as like traffic on a highway. Start by visualizing that you are on the side of a highway (or on a bridge) watching the traffic.  It’s evening rush hour and the cars are bumper to bumper. Then imagine the traffic reducing and notice the spaces between the cars as it gets later and later.  As you visualize the gaps in the traffic, begin to notice gaps in your internal dialogue or thoughts.  Notice the times when you have an absence of thoughts.

Never try to stop this internal negative voice directly.  This doesn’t work.  Remember, what you resist, persists! The more you try and stop it, the worse it gets.  Instead, just remember that this negative internal voice is not you and then choose to let it go as you breathe out.

Remember that this internal voice is useful when you’re in physical danger. That’s what it’s there for,  However, most of the time, we are not in immediate physical danger. In these times, you can choose to ignore it, or just let it go.

3. Think of this voice as another person

Think of your negative internal voice as a real person that is talking to you (or even shouting at you!). As mentioned earlier, Michael Singer suggests thinking of this negative internal voice as your inner roommate.

Then ask yourself, “would I allow another person to talk to me in such a negative or impolite way”. Would I really allow someone else to talk to me like that? How would you react if someone did talk to you in that way? What would you do? Would you argue with them? Would you convince them that you’re not really like that?  Start to challenge what you are hearing as if it was coming from a real person.

Also, ask yourself, “is this what I want?” The answer will almost certainly be No! Who wants a negative person like that in their head telling them what they can and can’t do!

4. Turn down the volume or change the tone

This is a great technique that comes from NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Imagine you have a remote control (like a TV remote) and see yourself slowly decreasing the volume on the remote control device. Keep doing this until your negative internal voice becomes just a whisper. Then turn it off completely.  This is a great technique to use when you notice that the voice is quite loud and dominating.

You can also change the tone of this internal voice. Start by listening to it. Then ask, does it remind you of someone? Perhaps it sounds like one of your parents, a school teacher or some other authority figure. Even if it doesn’t remind you of someone, ask yourself if this voice is very stern or serious? If it is, then you can change it.

When it’s a male voice, change it to a female voice.  When it’s a female voice, change it to a male voice.  You can also change the accent. Imagine this voice with a silly accent, perhaps a naughty french accent! – how does that change things? Most people notice that the meaning and power of their negative internal voice is reduced when they change the tone.

5.  Change “I” statements to “You” statements

Here are some examples

“I am so stupid”, change it to “You are so stupid”.

“I just can’t do this”, change it to “You just can’t do this”.

This is even more effective when you write down these statements as you notice them. Grab your journal and start writing down all the negative “I” statements that you can think of, and then change them to “you” statements.

By doing this, you separate these statements from your identity and that creates a powerful positive shift.  It feels like your inner roommate is saying it to you, rather than you saying it to yourself. This little change of language can really help neutralize the feelings and particularly the negative emotions that can come from that internal voice.

6. Meditation

Another great way to tame your negative internal voice is meditation. Meditation has many benefits and this will be the topic of another blog post. However, the great thing about meditation is the ability to focus on one thing only. Now, that one thing could be your breathing, or a guided meditation or hypnosis recording.

The key to meditation is to develop the skill to notice very quickly when you’re mind wonders and then gently bring it back to whatever you are focussing on.

So, when you’re focusing on something, your negative internal voice will try and interrupt it. And it will do this many times, especially when you start meditating and that’s okay. When you notice your mind wandering, gently breathe out and allow that voice to fade into the background.

Regular Meditation also improves your concentration and focus.  It also makes the I part of you (the you that is not your negative internal voice) much stronger over time.

So, I highly recommend doing about 10 minutes of meditation each day. This will really help you to control that negative internal voice in your head.

So these are a few great ways to help you tame your negative internal voice. And remember that just by reading this article, you’re going to start to look at your internal voice differently. Continue to keep in mind this idea that you and your internal voice are two different parts.  When you do this, you’ll notice a profound change in the relationship that you have with your internal voice.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

Please click on the links below to get automatic updates of all my latest video blogs.

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Thank you for reading this article.  Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

In this article, you will learn the 10 fundamental steps that will help you set and achieve your goals in 2019. If you are reading this article and it’s not January or even 2019, then you can still use this process to set and achieve your goals.

Successful people set and achieve goals! It’s that simple! If you don’t know where you’re heading, then how can you measure your progress? Besides, it feels good when you achieve your goals. It gives you a reason to celebrate and give yourself a pat on the back.

There is a right and a wrong way to set goals. In this article, I will go really in-depth into the goal setting process, so that you can set yourself goals that are believable, achievable and a little bit of a stretch too!

This process not only works brilliantly for annual goals but also for monthly and quarterly goals as well.  Master the ability to set and achieve your goals in 2019 by applying the information in this article today!

Watch the video below:

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A staggering 98% of people that set new year goals and new year resolutions don’t achieve them. That leaves only 2% that do! My purpose with this article is to help you become one of the 2% that achieve your new year resolutions and goals.

You can set goals at any time of the year. January 1st is only a date! Why wait, when you can set and achieve your goals right now! Waiting until January 1st is just an excuse! Also, the process that I’m about to cover works fantastically with quarterly and monthly goals as well.

Let’s start by getting into a great state! Put some inspirational or energetic music on and start moving your body. When you’re in a great state, you will set goals that really inspire you. If you can, do this process in an inspirational place, perhaps outside with nature.

I originally learnt this 10 step goal setting and achieving process from the Life Mastery Accelerator monthly mentoring program by Stephan James. If you follow Tony Robbins, you will probably be familiar with some of this process as well.

Step 1: Review the previous year, month or quarter

Start by reviewing and reflecting on what happened in the last year, month or quarter. There are 3 parts to this.

Part 1: Focus on your achievements, wins and successes

Look at your achievements, wins, successes and happy moments. Notice what went well and what you really enjoyed. This will give you the confidence and clarity that you can achieve your new goals by reminding you of what you have already achieved. This then strengthens your belief in your ability to achieve the goals that you set yourself.

Part 2: Look at the struggles, setbacks and challenges

Now look at the struggles, challenges, and the things that you didn’t want to happen. This is important because it creates awareness. Notice what didn’t go to plan and the things that were difficult for you.

Part 3: What can I learn from these challenges, setbacks or struggles

Find out what you can learn from the challenges, setbacks, or struggles that you identified. This is super important, because you don’t want to repeat the same mistakes again.

Step 2: Create or Review Your Life Vision

Your life vision or life mission is where you want to be in 5, 10, 20, or even 30 years. It is your crazy goals, crazy dreams, and the completely unrealistic (but highly exciting) aspirations that you have for yourself. You’ve probably heard the term “if you shoot for the stars you might reach the moon”. Well, your vision is the shooting for the stars type of goals.

If you haven’t created a vision or mission for your life before, then spend a few minutes doing this now. You can always refine it later.

Step 3: Brainstorm Goals

This is where it gets fun! Come up with a list of every single possible goal that you could set yourself for this year, quarter, or month. However, before you start brainstorming, you need to know about the two types of goals.

Outcome goals

Outcome goals are about achieving a specific result. This could be making $100,000, losing 20kg in weight, getting a great new job or finding a partner. Most people set outcome goals, so you’re probably already familiar with these.

However, there is one big problem with outcome goals. They are not completely within your control. Sure, you can do things to set the odds in your favor, but you cannot guarantee that you will achieve an outcome goal.

Process Goals

Process goals are completely within your control. They are also known as activity-based goals because they are based on you doing specific things. Process goals are all the steps and things that you would or could do to achieve an outcome goal.

Examples of process goals include working out four times a week, eating a paleo diet five days a week or applying for 10 new jobs per week. Notice how all these goals are within your control.

Set both Outcome AND Process goals

If you only set outcome goals, then you are much more likely to give up when you don’t see any progress. Let’s say you have set yourself the outcome goal to lose 10 kilos of body fat. If after 1 month, you have seen little or no progress, its going to be easy to give up.

However, if you have also set process goals to exercise 4 times a week and eat a special diet, then after a month, you can tick those goals off and feel good, even if you do not see much progress in achieving the outcome goal.

Brainstorm goals in ALL areas of life

It’s important to set goals in all areas of life, so that you feel happy and fulfilled. It also ensures that all your human needs are met. Brainstorm goals for your health, career, money, relationships, family, friends and the spiritual side of your life. Aim for 10 goals for each area of your life.

If you look at unhappy celebrities, its often because they have achieved amazing success in one area of life, but have neglected other aspects of their life, especially their health. So it is important to set goals in all areas of life.

Step 4: Choose the goals to set and achieve

From your list of brainstormed goals, choose the goals that you will set and achieve for this year. Don’t try and do hem all! There is a great saying which is “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything“.

Start by deciding which goals you can eliminate right away. Then decide which goals you will absolutely commit to. This will leave you with some goals that you are not sure about. Keep these goals in for now and we will put them through the desire and belief test.

Desire and Belief Test

So by now, you should have a list of goals that you definitely want to commit to and a few that you are not sure about yet.

Take one of your goals and ask yourself “what is my desire for achieving this goal on a scale of 1 to 10? If you give it a 7 or above, then you have the desire and motivation to achieve it. If it is lower than a 7, then either change the goal to make it more motivating and compelling or scrap it for now.

For the same goal, now ask yourself “On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident and certain am I that I can and will achieve this goal?” This is testing your belief in your ability to achieve this goal. If you give yourself a 7 or above, then you believe that you have the confidence and competence to achieve this goal. If it is lower than a 7, then either change the goal to make it more realistic and believeable or scrap it for now.

Here is an example of how the desire/belief test works. Lets say you have a goal to become a millionaire in 2019. Now, your desire for that could easily be a 10, but your belief might only be a 2. That is NOT a good goal, because you won’t have the belief to put in the work and you’ll give up easily.

So instead, you change the goal to making a 6 figure income during 2019. Now your desire for that might only be a 7. However, the belief in your ability to achieve this goal might also be a 7. By modifying this goal, it now passes the desire and belief test.

Now, repeat the desire and belief test with all your other goals, modifying or scrapping goals as necessary. You will now have a smaller list of goals that have both a desire and belief of 7 or more.

Step 5: Make your goals SMART

By now, you will have a list of goals that have a desire and belief of 7 or more out of 10. For these goals, we are going to put them through the SMART test. SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound.

Let’s apply SMART to the goal of earning $100,000 this year. On the surface, it seems very specific. You can’t get much more specific than a dollar amount. However, is this $100,000 in U.S. dollars or another currency? Is it before or after tax? Is it revenue or profit? So it could be more specific.

Is this goal measurable? Yes, it is. You could easily measure this goal by dividing 100,000 by 12 to obtain a monthly amount that you want to earn. You could then measure this each month to see if you are on track to achieving this goal or not. I would recommend changing the phrase “this year” to “31 December 2019”, as a specific date will be more motivating and compelling.

Is this goal achievable? If you have applied the desire and belief test, then your goal should already be achievable.

Is this goal realistic? This is going to depend on the person, where you are now and the timeframe. For some people earning $100,000 in a year could be very achievable, especially if these people are already earning something close to that. For others, it could take two or three years. To make the goal more realistic, you may need to reduce the goal or lengthen the timeframe. Again, the belief and desire test explained earlier can help you set realistic goals.

Is this goal time-bound? Yes, this goal has been set with a timeframe of this year, so it must be achieved by 31 December this year. For smaller goals, set shorter timeframes such as by the end of a certain month or quarter.

Step 6: Use language to make your goals more compelling

The language that you use when setting goals can have a huge influence on your belief and your motivation to achieve them.

Say “I will”

Don’t say “I want”. For example, “I want to earn $100,000 by 31 December 2019”. Why? Because the words “I want” emphasize to your subconscious mind (and the universe) that you do not have it yet.

Instead, say “I will“. By saying “I will”, you are presupposing and presuming that it will happen. You could also say “I have”, which presupposes that you have it already! For example, I have already earned $100,000 by 31 December 2019. This can work as long as another part of your brain doesn’t say “oh, no you haven’t!”

Include “Easily”

Who wants goals to be hard? Why not tell your subconscious mind that you will easily achieve this goal. For example, “I will easily earn $100,000 by 31 December 2019” Besides easily, you could also include words such as “enjoyable” or “fun”.

Include “Love the process”

You can also add phrases such as “love the process”, “enjoy doing it” or “feel good about it” For example, “I will easily make $100,000 this year and love the process.

Now you can see how the goal of “I will earn $100,000 by 31 December 2019” has turned into “I will easily earn $100,000 by 31 December 2019 and love the process”. Just some subtle language changes can really spice up your goals and increase your belief and motivation to achieve them.

Step 7: Find your Why

Finding your why will boost your desire and motivation to achieve the goal. To find or strengthen your why, ask yourself the following questions.

  1. Why do I want this?
  2. What is the benefit?
  3. What difference is this going to make in my life?

Your answers to these questions can be positive (moving towards pleasure), or negative (moving away from pain). For example, one of your reasons for losing weight could be to have a fit and healthy body. This is a positive reason that will move you towards the pleasure of having a great looking body. Another reason could be to not have diabetes and other health issues later in life. This is a negative reason that is pushing you away from the pain of being ill later in life.

Whether the reasons are moving you towards pleasure or away from pain doesn’t matter. Both can be very motivating. The most important thing is that you identify your reasons, you identify your why.

Step 8: Create a Plan

Creating a plan is especially important with annual goals or six monthly goals. You need a plan to take consistent action and to measure your results. So it’s time to brainstorm once more! This time, brainstorm all the different ways to achieve this goal. What are all the different steps that you could take? Write these all down. In the case of losing weight, there are many different diet choices and exercise regimes that you could follow. Write these all down.

Then apply the 80/20 Pareto principle to each of the ways or steps that you have come up with. So what is the Pareto principle? – It’s simply the concept that 20% of the effort gives you 80% of the results. If you want to become confident in dating and meeting the opposite sex, then you could spend 80% of your time learning how to do this. This might improve your confidence by 20%. Alternatively, you could spend 20% of your time, getting out of your comfort zone and talking to the opposite sex and boost your confidence by 80%.

Often the 20% of effort that gives you the 80% result involves taking action, rather than learning. What would your life be like if you just spen 20% of your time learning about personal development and 80% of your time applying what you have learned? Taking action is often the thing that is going to really help you achieve your goals more quickly.

Step 9: Evaluate your Progress

Check in on a weekly basis to measure the progress you are making towards your goals. Notice what is going well which activities are getting you closer to your goals. Identify any activities that are of little value or are even taking you further away from your goal.

Most people don’t do this, so if you evaluate your progress on a weekly basis, you will already be way ahead of everybody else.

Step 10: Accountability

When you share your goals with someone else, you are far more likely to achieve them. Why? because there is more at stake emotionally. If you don’t achieve the goal or fall short, you will need to explain why to this person. Sharing your goals with another person also means that they can ask you for an update on your progress at any time. This forces you to evaluate your own progress on a regular basis.

When I hired a personal trainer I did much more exercise between sessions. When I regularly had music lessons at school, I also practiced much more between lessons. There is something about being accountable to somebody else that makes you put in the work that you wouldn’t otherwise do.

Rather than choosing to be accountable to one person, you could use social media instead. Share your goals with the world on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. You could even share your weekly progress evaluation on social media as well.

You can also be accountable to me! Simply message me with a list of your goals and I’ll check in with you every couple of months.

Complete a 100 day challenge

To massively speed up the achievement of your goals in 2019, I highly recommend enrolling in the 100 day challenge. This is an amazing program that I do every year. It will really fast track the achievement of your goals so that you achieve in months what most people take years to do!

The 100 day challenge program works so incredibly well because it combines accountability, a weekly evaluation ritual and a daily motivational or inspirational video. This program helps you focus and take action on your goals every day for the whole 100 days. It is amazing what you can achieve in 100 days when you really put your mind to it.

Click here to find out more about the 100 day challenge.

Conclusion

I encourage you to take some time out to complete this goal setting process. It could take you a few hours, but it is so worth it. If you can, find an inspirational place where you can relax, feel good, and get really creative, and then go through this process. I can’t wait to hear about the goals that you come up with, so please do share your goals in the comments below.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of all my latest video blogs.

Join my Email List.

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Thank you for reading this article.  Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

In this article, you will discover what to do when the Law of Attraction is not working for you.

I’ll discuss what “accidental attraction” is and then cover several exercises that you can do whenever you notice that the Law of Attraction is not working in the way you want it to.

Your feelings and emotions are a key driver in attracting or not attracting what you want. Feelings of lack or resistance can be the reason why the Law of Attraction is not working for you.

Learn how to change or let go of these feelings and you’ll start to attract what you want in your life.

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You are applying the Law of Attraction to the best of your ability.  You may be getting some small results (like manifesting parking spaces), but the big goals are either not happening at all or happening very slowly. Or perhaps, you’re even going backwards.

The truth is, the Law of Attraction is always working in your life.  However, more often than not, it seems to attract negative outcomes.  This is known as “Accidental Attraction”.  Here is an example of how this happens.

  1. You notice and pay attention to something in your life. For example a lack of money.
  2. You respond to what you pay attention to, often with negative emotions such as disappointment or frustration
  3. The universe picks up on these emotions and sends you more of the same.  So you get more disappointment or more frustration.
  4. These same emotions and energy attract back into your life more of what you originally gave your attention to.  Examples could be an unexpected bill, or an unexpected expense on your house or car.

The good news is that this works in a positive way too.  Take a look at the above example and see how you could turn this around.

So here are some easy and powerful ways to get the Law of Attraction working for you.  You might notice a common theme in all of these.

Focus on what you want

The Universe does not understand the word “NO”.  So if you focus on not feeling sick, then the Universe will bring you more sickness.  This won’t happen if you have the occasional thoughts of sickness.  However, it will happen if you attach strong emotions to thoughts of sickness.

So how do you change your focus from what you don’t want to what you do want? – Here’s an exercise.

  1. Grab a pen & paper (or use your computer) and write down 5 examples of negative statements that you regularly think (or say out-loud).
  2. List the emotions that arise as you think about these 5 statements.
  3. Write down the equivalent positive statement for each of the 5 statements.  This might require some creativity, so spend some time on this.  You are starting to use a new “mental muscle” that you may not have used for sometime now, so be patient and kind on yourself.
  4. Finally notice the positive emotions that appear as you think of these new positive statements.

Now, whenever, you notice the negative emotions that you wrote down in step 2, remind yourself of the positive statements in step 3 and notice your emotions shift.

Increase Positive Emotions

I believe that emotions are a key reason for why the Law of Attraction is not working for you.  Why? – because the stronger the emotion, the stronger the energy that is emitted to the Universe.  If you feel strong emotions of happiness, joy and fulfilment, then you will attract situations that bring you more happiness, joy and fulfilment. If you feel fear, frustration, anger or disappointment, guess what happens?

Unfortunately, we tend to be programmed to experience negative emotions more frequently.  This is purely habitual and can be changed.  Think of it like doing a new exercise program, but this time for the mind!  – Here are some ways to increase positive emotions.

  • Write down 10 things you are grateful for in your life right now.  Read them back to yourself and really experience what these feel like.
  • Start focussing more on the positive things in your life and in the world generally.  You attract what you pay attention to, so it’s time to only pay attention to the things that will help you.
  • Do jumping jacks (or some other brief exercise) whenever you experience negative emotions.  Just the act of moving, immediately lifts your emotional energy.  If you don’t believe me, try it now!  There is a reason why the word emotion has the word “motion” in it!

Let Go of Resistance

Resistance manifests itself in two ways.

The first way is by focussing on something that you do not yet have in your life.   When you do this, you emit an energy of “lack”.  You do this by resisting your current situation and acknowledging that it makes you unhappy.

The Universe picks up on these emotions and gives you more “lack” in return.  This is often how people get stuck.  This feeling of lack or desperation also gets picked up by other people as well.  This is really common for people looking for a new job or soul mate.  In the case of finding a soul mate, have you ever noticed someone saying that “love comes when you least expect it”.  This happens because you have let go of the feeling of lack.

There are a few ways to consciously let go of these feelings of lack.

  • Acknowledge that you cannot directly control everything that happens or isn’t happening in your life.  By doing this, you will reduce the feelings of lack and send an energy of acceptance instead
  • Set “process goals”.  These are goals that are completely within your control.  Examples include, I will go on 6 dates this month, or I will take an evening course in public speaking.  You can also set goals for applying the Law of Attraction.  For example, I will repeat my top 5 affirmations, 5 times per day or I will spend 10 minutes looking at my vision board every day.  When you are taking practical steps towards your goals, it helps you to stop focussing on what you don’t have.
  • Choose to let it go.  This may be easier said that done, especially if you have a Type A personality.   Imagine the feelings of lack disappearing from your body and melting away can help.  We tend to think in pictures, so simple visualisations like this, can be surprisingly effective.

The other type of resistance is focussing on something that has already happened.   This could be the actions of another person (resentment) or beating yourself up for not doing something as well as you wanted to.  The easiest way to overcome this is to stop and ask yourself “why are you trying to resist something that has already happened?”  Tell yourself that dwelling on something that has already happened and is out of your control is pointless and will only attract more negativity.

When the feeling is resentment, remember that it is you that feels the resentment, not the other person!

Vision Boards

Visualisation is a great way to emit a powerful positive force to the Universe.  To test this out, I would like you to take a moment to imagine in graphic detail something that you really want in life.  Do this for 2 or 3 minutes right now.   Now write down the positive emotions that you are feeling as a result of doing this exercise. Notice how you have immediately changed the energy that you are emitting to the Universe.

A Vision Board will help you focus on what you want and generate the positive feelings that come from that.  The real power of Vision Boards comes from the positive feelings that are emitted when you focus on your goals and dreams.  That’s what the Universe will pick up on.  If Vision Boards seem a little “old hat” to you, then I highly recommend that you check out the latest Digital Vision Board Software.

The Key Takeaway

If the Law of Attraction is not working for you, then its highly likely that its your feelings and emotions that are getting in the way.  Emotions are energy and that is what the Universe will pick up on.  Apply the ideas in this article and notice how your new positive emotions will get the Law of Attraction working for you faster and more effectively.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

In this article, I cover 7 powerful and effective ways to reduce anxiety symptoms.

Anxiety is caused by thinking and imagining future situations going badly. One of the key ways to reduce anxiety is to change the way you perceive the future, especially the uncertainty around how things might turn out.

The way you think and feel has a massive effect on your level of anxiety. Some of my ways to reduce anxiety work directly with your thoughts and feelings.

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Anxiety symptoms such as negative thoughts, fears, and worries dominate many people’s lives. It often has a negative effect on both mental and physical health. It makes it harder to be successful, happy and fulfilled in life.

Anxiety often comes from worrying about uncertain situations in our lives. We fear that something bad might happen and this fuels fear and anxiety.

I believe that the opposite of anxiety is confidence. If you really believe that you can handle the situation or person to the best of your ability, then you can achieve peace and eliminate anxious thoughts and feelings.

To help you, I have researched and identified the 7 most effective ways to reduce the symptoms of anxiety. Many of these have helped me personally and I believe they can help you too.

1. Change your Perception of the Future

Anxiety symptoms arise from thinking (or more likely imagining) that a future event will go badly. We imagine ourselves messing up a speech, missing a golf shot or upsetting someone we love. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “90% of what you worry about never happens”. Well, this is so true!

So instead, imagine how you would like the future event to go. Make it believable. If you don’t have much experience of public speaking, imagine it going OK, rather than brilliantly. As long as your future perception is neutral, that will be enough to reduce the anxiety symptoms.

2. Reduce Anxiety Symptoms by Embracing Uncertainty

We live in an uncertain and rapidly changing world. This can be a good or bad thing. It’s all about perception.

  • What would your life be like if every day was exactly the same?
  • How exciting would it be to watch a football match if you knew exactly what the result would be?
  • We need an element of uncertainty to make life exciting, fun, interesting, fulfilling and meaningful.

So to embrace change, you will want to become more comfortable with uncertainty. Having the faith and confidence that whatever happens will be OK really helps. Another great method is to step out of your comfort zone by trying new things.

3. Answering “What If” Questions

Anxiety symptoms arise from creating but not answering “what if” questions. For example, “What if I mess up my words during a job interview?” Thinking about this question over and over again will fuel anxiety symptoms.

Instead, take a deep breath and then write down all the answers you can think of. These could include “The interviewer will realize that I really want this job”, “The interviewer will smile and realize that I’m human and authentic”. By answering these questions, your brain will be “satisfied” and will bring up the what if questions less often.

4. Have Confidence, Trust and Faith

As I mentioned earlier, I believe that confidence is the opposite of anxiety. Confidence comes from believing that you will get a positive outcome and that you have the skills and abilities to give it your best shot.

If you are religious or have spiritual beliefs, use these to help you develop the faith that the situation will turn out for the best. Make use of this higher power (whatever it is for you) to guide you. This can also help you let go of the details and focus on the outcome.

Also, trust yourself. Looking at situations that have gone well in the past can help with this.

5. Chunking Down

Anxiety symptoms often arise by thinking about the negative outcome and not the steps. This is known as Globalisation or Global Thinking. Examples include “I’ll never get this report finished on time”, “I know my mother-in-law won’t like me” or “I’m never going to lose this weight”.

When you notice thoughts like these, my recommendation is to chunk them down. For example “What do I need to do exactly to complete this report on time?”, “What things can I do to increase the chances of my mother-in-law liking me?” or “what things can I do this week to start losing this weight?”.

Also, notice when other people say these globalisations to you. Encourage them to focus on the steps instead.

6. Decide which Voice or Feeling to Listen To

Our internal dialogue (self-talk) and feelings can lie. We have around 60,000 thoughts per day and most of those thoughts you pay no attention too. You may even have some thoughts that would get you into trouble if you did pay attention and act on them! This is normal and part of being human.

It is extremely difficult to prevent negative thoughts from coming up. However, it is very possible to ignore any thoughts that don’t serve you. By doing this, you give less emotion to these thoughts and you will become aware of them less and less.

The same goes with feelings. You can choose which feelings to pay attention to and which to ignore. Letting go of negative feelings removes the emotional charge and this helps to reduce anxiety symptoms.

7. Not Over-thinking things

When you think about something too much, this tends to fuel anxiety symptoms. These thoughts don’t necessarily need to be negative. Often neutral thoughts around strategies to fix or deal with the problem can have the same effect on anxiety symptoms.

A good solution is to set aside a specific time to think about the issue. When you do this, I suggest you work on changing your perception and answering any what if questions at the same time.

To Sum Up

I’m confident that if you apply some or all of the above strategies that you will see a big reduction in anxiety symptoms. Then you can experience real happiness, peace, and joy.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

In this article, I’m going to cover 8 ways to help you overcome a lack of motivation to do anything.  If you ever need to do things but don’t feel like doing them, then this article will really help you.

You will learn how successful people overcome a lack of motivation to do anything.  They have different ways of dealing with a lack of motivation so that it doesn’t prevent them from achieving fantastic results and high levels of success in life.

Find out how you can overcome a lack of motivation to do anything right now.  Learn and apply this information and you can achieve your full potential and feel happy and fulfilled at the same time.

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Having a lack of motivation to do anything can be very frustrating when you’ve got big goals that you want to achieve. You just want the motivation or inspiration to get going.

To help you, I’m going to cover eight ways to help you increase your motivation:

1. Use action to create motivation

Many of us have this the wrong way around. You wait to feel motivated before you actually do anything. Can you relate to that? However, successful people take action first and then the motivation and inspiration comes later. They just do it, whether they feel like it or not. That’s a key difference. So the next time you don’t feel motivated, do the task anyway and just see what happens.

2. Take pleasure in the action, rather than the goal

This is about falling in love with the process, rather than the results. We tend to be hardwired to focus on immediate gratification, we want things now, we want the benefits now. Advertising is all about having things now because people want the quick fix.

Physical exercise is a wonderful example of where the benefits come later. Your goal to lose weight or build muscle can take a few months. So with exercise, fall in love with the process and enjoy what you’re doing.  Notice the feeling of accomplishment as you work towards achieving your long-term fitness goals.

3. Focus on benefiting others

Most (but not all) tasks are likely to benefit someone else down the road.  Thinking this way will get you out of your own head and more focused on serving others. For example, if you’re studying to become a doctor, lawyer or therapist, then your new specialized knowledge will benefit many people when you qualify and start using this knowledge.  Focussing on benefiting others is a great way to overcome a lack of motivation to do anything.

4. Know your purpose and why

If you have enough good reasons to do anything then the motivation will come. Start to get really clear on your vision, goal or target. Make it really exciting and notice how your motivation increases.

Write down 20 to 50 reasons or benefits for achieving this major goal. As you write these reasons, notice how your motivation increases. Your reasons could be positive or negative. Positive reasons pull you towards your goal.  Negative reasons push you towards your goal by focussing on moving away from something you don’t want. Both are useful.

When coming up with reasons, think about all the little details as well.  Also, think about the times when you have achieved goals in the past. This increases your belief that you can do it again.

5. Lower your expectations

A few weeks ago, I had a lot of things on my to-do list.  Just looking at it, made me feel overwhelmed and unmotivated.  It all seemed important, but there was no way I could do everything on the list.  I took a few things off the list and then felt confident about my ability to get these tasks done.

Setting too many tasks or goals and missing them on a regular basis sends a message to your unconscious mind that you are the kind of person that doesn’t achieve everything that’s on their to-do list. This then becomes a habit and lowers your belief that you can get things done quickly and efficiently.

6. Have a fun task as a reward

One of my favorite ways to overcome a lack of motivation to do anything is to have a fun task as a reward. When you look through your to-do list, there is probably one or two tasks that you feel more motivated to do. Make these reward tasks and only do them when you have completed more difficult or challenging tasks.  For me, reward tasks usually involve learning new personal development information or hypnotherapy techniques to use with my clients.

7. Know when to stop and evaluate

Have you ever had a time when you were taking action, but the motivation didn’t follow? Or you’re making mistakes, not getting much done and everything seems too hard? – When this happens, it’s time to take a break.  If you’re physically tired, take a power-nap.  If your brain needs a rest, then meditate for a while.  The Brendon Burchard release meditation is a good one to use on these occasions.  To do the release meditation, sit quietly with your eyes closed and say the word “release” every three or four seconds. This will help your brain refocus and revitalize.

8. Productive momentum

Productive momentum is getting a few short tasks completed early in the day.  This gets you into the habit of getting things done.  A great way to do this is to have a morning routine or morning ritual. This is a set of habits that you do every day.  This could include repeating affirmations, visualizing your goals, journaling or thinking of 5 things that you are grateful for.  Doing these rituals will increase your motivation immensely.

Morning routines are also a wonderful way to get yourself into a more positive frame of mind anyway, by starting the day working on yourself.  To find out more about how a morning ritual could help increase your motivation and level of fulfillment and happiness, go to www.selfhelpforlife.com/morningritualmastery.

So those are my eight ways to help you overcome a lack of motivation to do anything. If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

Many people think of NLP as a series of cool and powerful techniques for personal transformation.  However, it’s much more than that.  Behind all these powerful techniques is a number of presuppositions of NLP.  Just knowing these can help you make a profound and dramatic change in your overall attitude to yourself, other people and life in general.

NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Still none the wiser? Keep reading!

Neuro” refers to your nervous system. It’s about how your brain and mind interact with your body.

Linguistic” refers to the words and language that you use, including body language or nonverbal communication.

Programming” refers to your habits of thoughts, feelings and behaviours which are often unconscious. By using NLP, you can become more conscious of these habits and then start to change them.

NLP is fundamentally an attitude, a methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques.  NLP is all about giving you more choice.  The presuppositions of NLP are a key component that underpins many of the key principles behind NLP.

NLP was created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970s. It came from modelling highly successful people and then packaging this in a way that anyone can learn.

I’m now going to cover the 10 main presuppositions of NLP and show you how to use these to change your attitude.

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1. The Map is Not the Territory

We all have our own perspective on how we see the world (our Map). However, as everyone’s perspective is different, this “map” is not the same as what is actually happening externally (the Territory).

The map used for driving highlights the roads. However, to focus on the roads, the map hides most other information, such as hills and contour lines. A map used for hiking will focus on displaying paths, tracks and contour lines,  whilst a sailing map will focus on shallow versus deep water.  In each case, the territory is the same, but the map hides things that are not relevant to the specific type of map user.

So your map of the world focuses on certain bits of information and leaves a lot out.  Think of your map as your internal experience which consists of beliefs, memories and life experiences.  You then interpret the world based on your internal map. Our brains can only take in a maximum of 9 pieces of information at once.  Each person will take in 9 slightly different pieces of information depending on their beliefs, interests and awareness.  As a result, each persons map is slightly different.

Another idea of NLP is that you can expand your map over time. Your map can become more detailed and that will give you more choices in the future.

2. Respect each others model of the world

By recognising that everyone has a different map, viewpoint, perception or interpretation of life, it becomes easier to respond to their model of the world. Perhaps in the past, you judged other people as being right or wrong.  Now, you can develop an attitude of curiosity about their map of the world, their belief system, and how it differs from yours.

A good way to do this is to use an NLP technique called “Perceptual Positions“.  There are 3 perceptual positions, self, other and observer.

Think of a past situation that involved another person and didn’t go as well as you would have liked.

Start by looking at this situation through your own eyes.  This is easy. We do it all the time.  This is the perceptual position of self.

Now, look at this situation as if you were the other person.  Sit or stand like the other person and notice what you were saying and doing from their perspective.  By seeing it from their eyes, you will get a different perspective and a sense of what their map of the world is like.  This is the perceptual position of other.

Now, imagine watching this situation as a fly on the wall or as someone else in the room. Watch yourself and the other person.  Notice how each person reacts to what is being said.  You will probably notice different ideas and different perspectives from this more detached position.  This is the perceptual position of the observer.

I feel that this is one of the most important presuppositions of NLP and the world would be a more peaceful and happy place if more people adopted this presupposition.

3. The Meaning of your Communication is the Response that you get

If you communicate with another person and they don’t completely understand or get the meaning, then it’s your fault!

The responsibility is on you to develop greater rapport, change what you’re saying or your nonverbal body language. Remember that you cannot, not communicate. Even if you’re silent, you’re still communicating through body language.

Taking responsibility for your communication is one of the fundamental presuppositions of NLP and can be a real game-changer in business and in relationships generally.

4. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback

Would Thomas Edison have created the light bulb if every time he failed he wallowed in that failure for several days? Probably not.

Whatever happens is pure feedback.  It tells us we’re slightly off course, so we can make a correction. Every result is feedback. This simple attitude shift will allow you to measure your progress and make changes more easily.

5. Modelling successful people leads to excellence.

As mentioned earlier, NLP came about after Richard Bandler and John Grinder modelled very successful people in the 1970s.  They included Virginia Satir (a very successful family therapist) and Milton Erickson (a hugely successful hypnotherapist).

The people that they modelled had certain thoughts, beliefs, values and behaviours that made them successful, even if they didn’t consciously know this. NLP has some great strategies to help you elicit the unconscious behaviours of successful people.

6. People always make the best choice that they can

People will always make the best choice or decision based on their map of reality.  Think about your parents.  They occasionally told you off or said things that you didn’t want to hear. It was their way of helping you learn the difference between right and wrong so that you became a good kid and adult.  Often your parents were dealing with other stresses and pressures at the same time as looking after you.

So people always make the best choice at any given time.  As they learn, they can upgrade their perspective (their map) and make better choices and develop new beliefs in the future.

7. People work perfectly

No one is wrong or broken, people function perfectly, even if their behaviour is ruining their life in some way.

Every behaviour has a structure or a strategy to it. That strategy is driven by the person’s beliefs that generate their thoughts, feelings, and actions. Find a more effective strategy (perhaps by modelling others), and behaviour and outcomes will change.

8. Every behaviour has a positive intention.

We do things either to gain pleasure or avoid pain! – It’s really that simple!  Separate the intention from the action, and the person can create a more positive and beneficial behaviour to meet the same positive intention.

Addictive and other self-sabotaging behaviours can be behind a positive intention to fulfil one or more of the ten fundamental human needs.  Once the person realizes this, they can find a different behaviour to meet this human need better.

9. The Mind and Body are a connected system.

The mind influences the body, and the body influences the mind. The next time you feel sad or depressed, try looking up. You will find that the depressed feelings will naturally drift away.  Why? – because the body can’t do depression when you’re looking up!

When you breathe more deeply, you will find that your thoughts slow down and seem quieter and less obvious in your mind.  This will then help reduce feelings of anxiety.

10. If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something else.

Start by doing, and notice what’s working and do more of that. If the actions aren’t getting results, try a different approach.  Do all this with an attitude of curiosity. Take action because you’re really curious to see what’s going to happen and then adapt accordingly as you need to.

How can the presuppositions of NLP help change your attitude?

So these are the 10 presuppositions of NLP. Just being aware of these can really help improve your attitude. If you accept the idea that the meaning of your communication is the response that you get, then your attitude shift will be to take greater responsibility for your communication.

If you play with the idea that the map is not the territory, the next time you talk to someone that has a very different view of the world, you can be curious, rather than resistant.

If you believe that every behaviour has a positive intention, then you can be more patient with people who are angry or rub you up the wrong way.

Knowing that there is no failure, only feedback can make a huge difference to your life and rid you of the emotional impact of making mistakes every so often.

A lot of people think of NLP as a series of clever techniques, but really understanding the attitude and methodology behind it, is far more important.  If you can really master the attitude of NLP and these 10 presuppositions of NLP, then it can really help you live a more peaceful, happy and successful life, and have a more positive attitude as well.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Thank you for reading this article.  Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul