In this article, you will learn all about the four main personality types. These are Type A, B, C and D. 

Knowing the four main personality types is very useful when dealing with other people.  If you can quickly understand how they tick, then you can build rapport more quickly and create a deeper connection.

I’ll cover the positive and negative traits of each of these four main personality types. It can be interesting to see which one you fit in to.  I’ll also reveal the one that most closely matches my personality. 

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Human behavior is often very predictable and can be categorized into one of four different personality types. These are Type A, B, C and D. Each person is unique but may exhibit stronger personality traits from one of these types. Knowing these 4 personality types will help you understand why people react and respond the way they do. This then helps you communicate with others more effectively and understand them better.

For each of the four main personality types, I will cover both the positive and negative aspects. As you read this article, you will find yourself relating to one of these personality types more than the others. It’s good to know which type it is, as this will help you understand why you act and react the way you do.

If you don’t like some of the negative aspects of the personality type that most closely resembles you, then you can change it. No behavior is set in stone. You can change how you act or react in certain situations.

So I will now cover the four main personality types in greater detail.

Type A – The Go-Getter

Type A people are high achievers. They are competitive, ambitious and very well organized. They are very aware of time and use time wisely and efficiently. Type A people are proactive and love to set goals. They like to push the boundaries and get outside their comfort zone. These people can be workaholics and they push themselves with deadlines. They are also eager to help others.

These are great behaviors and traits to have and are promoted in many self-help books. However, there are some negative aspects to the Type A personality.

Type A people tend to be more stressed and anxious. They have less job satisfaction and may change jobs often, believing that the grass is greener somewhere else. These people can often feel less satisfied in other areas of their life as well, such as health or relationships. Type A people can be very status conscious. They can be impatient because they value time highly.

Another trait is aggression. This can be displayed in positive or negative ways. It can be being aggressive to achieve things, to be the best and at the top of your game. However, this aggression can sometimes come from ignoring the needs of other people. Type A people can be quite hasty, impulsive and hyper-alert. They can get angry or frustrated quite easily.

Type B – Relaxed and social

The type B personality is almost the complete opposite of type A. They are more relaxed, consistent and steady. They enjoy the process of achieving things and have a calming influence on other people. These people are often more peaceful and grounded. It can take a lot to make them angry or frustrated. They are less competitive, it’s more about enjoying the game or experience than winning or losing.

Type B people are more tolerant of other people They often have many friends and a great social life. They excel in social situations, find it easy to relax with others and enjoy themselves. Type B people find it easy to have fun.

Type B people are often more perceptive and pick up on other people’s emotions. However, they are also emotionally stable within themselves. They are very patient and it is this combination of qualities that lead to type B people becoming very good therapists, writers, actors or actresses.

However, type B people may not achieve their full potential because they are less ambitious, more relaxed and laid-back. They can procrastinate and leave things to the last minute. They need the pressure of a tight deadline to spur them into action. Being less aware of time can cause them to be late for meetings and appointments. These people can also find it hard to make decisions.

Type C – The rule abiding perfectionist

The type C personality is similar to type A, but with some noticeable differences. A key one is perfectionism. Type C people spend more time on the details and check work several times for accuracy. They value the importance of doing an excellent job. Unlike type A people, type C people are less aware of time. For this reason, their strive for excellence and perfection can mean that a task takes much longer than it needs to.

Type C people are consistent and reliable and they very rarely bend or break the rules. The aggressive or impatience of a type A person is more likely to result in them bending, breaking or even changing the rules. They will challenge the status quo. A type C person will happily follow the rules, which means that they enjoy jobs and tasks that follow a set procedure or are about complying with rules, laws or procedures. Type C people are great to have in any safety critical roles.

Type C people like to go deep into studying and learning one subject. Rather than be good in lots of areas, they prefer to be an expert in one or two areas. They are more introverted and tend to enjoy meaningful conversations with one or two people. They are less keen on the surface level banter that often comes when communicating socially within a larger group. Type C people also tend to avoid conflicts with others, so as not to upset the status quo.

Having a routine and focussing on one thing at a time is important for type C people. Any disruption to this can be quite stressful or frustrating. They also like a sense of stability and security and will make decisions based on logic rather than emotions. Type C people can be deep thinkers.

Type C people tend to get bogged down in detail and making things perfect. As a result, they might miss a deadline or spend too long on tasks. They can feel overwhelmed when there is too much going on and may need time alone to process things. They need time to make decisions, so they can get all the facts and details beforehand.

Type D – Distressed and sensitive to others

Type D people tend to have a tendency towards negativity. The D actually stands for distressed. However, type D people have many positive aspects as well.

They are warm people, very peaceful on the outside and extremely sensitive to other people’s emotions. Type D people have a very realistic view of life. They like security and are quite resilient. They love to help and give advice. These people rarely give up and can be a source of wisdom to other people.

However, type D people can feel isolated, lonely and can be quite negative at times. They experience more negative emotions than the other types, but won’t share those emotions with others, because they are afraid of rejection. Instead, they suppress their emotions, keeping them inside.

Type D people tend to worry a lot and can be quite irritable. They tend to be more pessimistic and gloomy about life.

Conclusion

As I mentioned earlier, no one is completely Type A, B, C or D. It also depends on the situation or event. You might exhibit type A behavior at work and type B when out with friends. The key here is to acknowledge and enjoy the positive traits in your behavior and personality and then work on changing any aspects that seem negative to you or other people. Awareness is always the first step to change.

In case you’re wondering, I lean most closely to a type C personality. I like to do things really well, follow a proven path, and enjoy meaningful conversations with 1 or 2 people rather than big groups. However, there is quite a lot of type A personality in me as well.

Let me know the personality type that most closely resembles you, by leaving a comment below.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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In this article, I’m going to cover 12 great ways to massively improve your health and dramatically reduce your chances of getting chronic life changing diseases.

This is a huge topic! So many people feel that they have no direct control over their health. Your health is not guaranteed, just like your safety is not guaranteed each time you jump into a car.

However, there are so many things that you can do to proactively improve your health, so that you minimize the chances of getting a chronic life changing disease. This article is all about ways to improve your health today, so that you can feel confident with your health in years to come.

In many areas of life, it is the little things that you do consistently that give you the big result. This is especially true with health. If you eat junk food regularly for 10 or 20 years, the negative health consequences of that are very predictable. Eat well, exercise regularly and manage stress consistently and the positive health benefits of that are also very predictable.

So, let’s get into the 12 ways to massively improve your health today, so that your chances of getting a chronic debilitating disease are as low as possible.

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The more I learn and study health, the more I realize that there is so much more that we can do to reduce the chances of getting chronic life-changing diseases. In fact, the inspiration for creating this article came from a Ted Talk video by Dr. Rangee Chatterjee called “How to make diseases disappear”. It also came from a seminar that I went to in Sydney by Tyler Tolman.

Listening to both these people made me realize that you can greatly reduce the chances of getting chronic life-changing diseases. And, if you have them already, there are things that you can do to improve your situation.

One of the things I learned from Tony Robbins is that you are either moving forward or backwards in each area of your life. You never stay still or in a plateau. Health is no exception to this. Ask yourself right now if you are doing things to improve your health or to negatively affect it?

In this Ted Talk video, Dr. Rangee Chatterjee talks about how most doctors treat symptoms without considering the thing that caused the chronic disease in the first place. For example, let’s take 2 people with similar levels of heart disease. The cause for the first person was a very poor diet and sedentary lifestyle. For the other person, the cause was chronic stress, anxiety and perhaps even depression. So if the cause of the disease is different for each person, then the solution needs to be tailored to each individual, rather than a one-size-fits-all approach.

Dr Rangee Chatterjee then went on to list the 6 main chronic diseases which are:

  • Chronic Inflammation
  • Insulin Resistance
  • Depression
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Heart Disease
  • Dementia

Although these diseases seem very different, Dr. Rangee Chatterjee believes that the things that cause them are very similar and are largely under our control.

Genetics may play a part, but something else has to fire your genetic response. That “something” else is very often within your control. This is known as Epigenetics and is extremely fascinating!

People often look for the one thing or the one cure for a chronic disease. However, in reality, you need to have a foundation of health in place that comprises of the 12 things that I’m about to cover. Once you have this in place, then any special medicine, supplement or superfood is more likely to be effective, because you have all the fundamentals in place.

Of course, nothing is guaranteed especially in the area of health. Also, BIG DISCLAIMER! I’m not a medical doctor or expert in health by any means. The 12 ways to improve your health that I’m about to cover is what I am applying to my life and is based on my own research. Please do take advice from your medical professional as appropriate before applying these steps.

1. Diet

I’m sure it comes as no surprise to see diet on this list! The key here is to eat whole foods as much as possible and avoid processed foods. This includes eating fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and grains as much as possible. Personally, I try to keep dairy and wheat to a minimum and often follow a vegan diet during the day and have some meat as a treat in the evening.

Recent research seems to indicate that chronic inflammation is behind many diseases, including heart disease and arthritis. Whole foods, especially plant-based foods help reduce inflammation in your body. Also, watch your alcohol consumption to try and keep that to a sensible level as well.

2. Physical Activity and Exercise

Physical activity is great for digestion and releasing stress. It makes you feel great as well, improves your mental health (as well as your physical health) and reduces your risk of getting diseases such as Cancer, especially when combined with the diet suggestions listed above.

Exercise makes you sweat and this is an important way for your body to get rid of toxins. It also improves digestion, especially if you are a little constipated.

The absolute minimum is a 30-minute walk, 6 times a week. This is very easy to fit into your schedule and can easily be combined with other activities, such as listening to podcasts. Of course, more intensive cardio and resistance training are much better. As you get older, you begin to lose muscle mass and that can contribute towards insulin resistance.

3. Reduce Stress

A little short term stress is fine. Your body, especially your heart is well equipped to deal with this. It is long term, chronic and ongoing stress that is bad for you. Your body is simply not designed for this. Ongoing stress, anxiety, and depression can be as bad for you as smoking.

Stress is a big risk factor for heart disease and is also linked to depression. It can affect your concentration and your level of social interaction as well. Stress also raises the level of cortisol in your body. This then raises insulin levels, causing insulin resistance.

Ongoing chronic stress also creates chronic inflammation, because the body thinks that it is under constant attack. Besides being a link to many diseases in the body, chronic inflammation is now linked to mental illnesses such as depression.

Stress can also affect your health indirectly too, by increasing your chances of making poor food choices, drinking an excessive amount of alcohol, smoking or other harmful behaviours.

4. Unresolved Emotional Pain

Long term and unresolved negative emotions such as resentment, guilt or anger can play havoc with your body. These negative emotions become trapped in the body and this creates additional stress and tension. Many of these unresolved emotions come from past events with other people. If you read You Can Hear Your Life by Louise Hay, you will see the link between resentment and cancer.

It’s important that you find a way to deal with any unresolved emotional pain. This might involve expressing your feelings to the people concerned or having a few sessions with a therapist. You can also express and release these emotions using the Sedona method, EFT or hypnotherapy. Even practicing Yoga on a regular basis can help release unresolved emotional tension.

5. Relationships

The quality of your relationships, especially your intimate relationship can have a huge effect on your overall health. Is your relationship moving in a positive direction and bringing love, joy, and happiness to both you and your partner. If you are not in an intimate relationship, what can you do to develop deeper connections with other people in your life?

At a recent seminar, I heard that loneliness is very bad for your health and could potentially take 5 to 7 years from your life. I was staggered when I heard this! As humans, we crave for connection with other people and it is important to take the time to do this.

Also, what is your relationship like with yourself? Are you taking some time out for yourself or to do the things that you really want to do.

6. Sleep

Are you getting 7 to 8 hours of quality sleep every night? Just 2 or 3 nights of poor sleep can massively increase your levels of stress and anxiety. Personally, I find it much harder to keep calm and stay positive when I am feeling sleep deprived.

I was amazed to discover that poor sleep dramatically affects your blood sugar levels. So, make sure you’re prioritizing sleep by getting seven to eight hours of quality sleep every night. Your body and your mind will thank you for it!

7. Rest and Recovery

Professional athletes know the importance of rest and recovery. They take time out from intense periods of training to allow the body to recover and become stronger. However, your brain needs a rest too, so it is important to take some time out to rest, relax and recuperate. You can do this through meditation, watching some meaningless TV or spending time out with friends.

8. Reduce Toxins

Toxins include things you ingest (e.g. nicotine, alcohol or additives in processed foods), skin products and toxins from the environment. What I have been doing recently is looking at the products that I use every day and finding natural alternatives. So far, I have changed to a natural toothpaste, shower gel, shampoo and have experimented with natural sunscreen and mosquito repellent.

It’s much harder to control pollution, radiation and other environmental toxins, especially if you live in a large city. However, large cities often have better access to healthy food choices and superfoods, so you can do things to boost your immune system, so that your body is better able to deal with these toxins.

9. Passion and Purpose

This is about doing more of the things that you love to do. This could be hobbies, sports or travel. It’s also about making time for yourself.

If you hate your job (or your job is taking far too much of your time), then set an intention to change this. This won’t happen immediately and will take some effort and courage to do. However, it is very doable. Having a job and career that is satisfying, meaningful and fulfilling and that is meeting your needs is so important for both physical and mental health.

Also, when you are happy in your work, you tend to be happier in life generally. When you are happier, your partner is happier, your kids are happier, your friends are happier and everything becomes easier.

It amazes me how elderly people that are terminally ill, somehow manage to stay alive for a wedding or a significant family event and then they die shortly afterwards. I also hear stories of people retiring and then dying shortly after. In both these cases, it seemed to be a sense of purpose and having something to look forward to that keeps them going. Once they lost that, the body seemed to give up.

Although it is very difficult to prove this, it seems to me that having a purpose and vision seems to change things chemically in the body, so that your body is working with your mind to make that vision a reality.

10. Air

As babies, we knew how to breathe correctly, which is into the stomach or diaphragm. However, as adults, we seem to forget this and start breathing more shallow and in the chest rather than the stomach. As a result, your body gets less oxygen and you have less energy. If you are yawning a lot, then this is your body’s way of unconsciously wanting you to take in more air. Notice your breathing when you are stressed or anxious. It will often be very shallow and you might even notice moments when you don’t breathe at all!

When you exercise, it forces you to breathe deeply and correctly. It has to do this to get sufficient oxygen to the muscles. So, exercise is a great way to help your body get enough oxygen.

You can also practice breathing deeply through your stomach several times a day. If you tend to forget, then set a timer on your smartphone to remind you to do this several times in the day. Breathing correctly is also very relaxing and is a great stress reliever.

11. Water

Drinking lots of water is great for flushing out toxins in your body. It also helps you stay physically and mentally alert. When I drink a liter (about 33 ounces) of water pretty quickly, I really notice myself feeling more mentally alert.

There is a lot of debate on how much water to drink daily. My suggestion is about 1 liter for every 20 kilos of body weight, so this will be between 3 to 5 liters a day for most people. This can include herbal teas and the water found in many vegetables. I wouldn’t include alcohol or caffeine as these tend to dehydrate you.

12. Sunlight

Just 20 to 30 minutes of sunlight helps increase vitamin D in your body. This is important for preventing certain cancers. Sunlight also activates the pituitary and pineal glands. These are the glands that set our body clock, so being out in the sun helps your body know when it is daytime and nighttime. For this reason, there seems to be a link between a lack of sun exposure and insomnia.

So spend 20-30 minutes in the sun as often as you can. Taking a walk at lunchtime is an easy way to do this. If its winter or you are in an area that doesn’t get much sun, then consider taking a vitamin D supplement or get a blood test to check your vitamin D levels.

Conclusion

So these are the 12 great ways to improve your health and reduce the risks of getting chronic life-changing diseases. It’s very likely that you are doing some of these already, so give yourself a pat on the back for that.

For the others, I recommend that you focus on one of these 12 ways per month. It’s so easy to become overwhelmed with all the things that you could do to improve your health. The most important thing is to feel that your health is moving in a positive direction and that you are doing something (however small) to proactively work on improving your health.

Besides protecting yourself from the chance of nasty diseases in the future, applying the 12 ways outlined above will also help you have greater energy, feel more alive, be happier and more relaxed. If you currently feel stressed, anxious or depressed, it will help reduce this as well. Once you put these into practice, you will really appreciate the benefits for yourself.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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In this article, I cover the reasons that people stay stuck in life and show you how to move forward with your life, so that you feel that things are changing for you.

Feeling stuck is like being on a train that has stopped.  You know that until it moves, you are not going anywhere. Life can feel like that too sometimes.  Do you feel stuck right now?  Do you feel that something different needs to happen to allow you to move forward with your life?

The thing that makes you stuck is fear.  In this article, I cover 3 specific fears that keep you stuck and how to overcome them, so that you can move forward with your life.

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Why we get stuck

We have an internal thermostat, set point or paradigm that keeps us in a safe, familiar place. It works like a central heating system that keeps the temperature at a comfortable level. Our subconscious emotional mind especially, does not like too much change too quickly.

Attempting to lose weight is a classic example of this. You eat healthily and exercise regularly. As a result, your weight reduces and you feel different, possibly uncomfortable. Perhaps you get attention from other people that you didn’t get previously.

Perhaps you deal with the uncomfortable feeling of moving outside your set point, by indulging in some comfort eating. You do this a few times and your weight is right back at where it was before.

The same thing can happen when investing in personal development seminars, courses or books. You get fired up by the new material and are highly motivated to apply it to your life, so you take action and things begin to change. This feels uncomfortable and the motivation from the seminar or program wains and before you know it, you’re back where you started.

I believe this also explains why so many lottery winners lose all the money they won. The winnings take them out of their comfort zone and they don’t know how to handle that. So they spend the money poorly and end up back where they started, which feels comfortable and familiar.

Why does this happen? Well it’s down to FEAR and 3 specific fears in particular. Understand and overcome these fears and you can permanently change your thermostat, set point or paradigm. These 3 specific fears were identified by Brendon Burchard.

Fear of Loss

When you make any significant change in life, there is a fear that you might lose something that you currently find enjoyable. It could be a person, job, security, foods you love, time out or doing fun things. that make you happy.

To lose weight, you might need to stop eating foods that you love (but don’t love you!), give away some of your favourite clothes that you will no longer fit into. You might need to give up some time to prepare healthy foods or exercise.

To develop a business alongside your job, you might need to sacrifice time with your family and friends, This could involve saying no to invites to social activities. It might involve spending less money, so you can invest in your business.

When your business becomes full time, you will lose the security of a full-time job and predictability of a regular income. If you are a single person wanting a relationship, then you might lose time with friends or your independence. To master a sport, you might sacrifice time with friends, certain foods, alcohol and anything else that could hamper your performance.

Any kind of change involves losing something that currently feels comfortable and familiar. However, the way that you perceive that loss and think about it really matters.

Focus on what you will gain

The easiest way is to change your focus to what you will gain instead. Using weight loss as an example, you will gain a healthy body, fit into your clothes better, have more energy and reduce the chances of nasty diseases later in life.

If you’re developing a business, then the benefits might include working for yourself rather than an employer, additional income, a secure income when you retire, better holidays or paying off your mortgage early.

For the effort involved in finding that special someone, you could focus on being in love, making new friends through your partner, sharing your life with someone else, getting married and having kids.

Fear of the work involved

The second one is fear of the work involved to change. It’s a fear of the process of changing and what is required to change. This includes the discomfort of learning new things, the fear of changing as a person or perhaps doing something that you’ve never done before.

In the case of weight loss, this includes the discomfort of exercise, trying new healthy foods, different recipes, cooking methods, venturing in to a health food shop or learning all about superfoods, supplements and natural alternatives.

If it is starting a business, it could be learning about technology or marketing. This was huge for me when starting both Self Help for Life and my hypnotherapy practice. It could also be a fear of making mistakes or feeling overwhelmed by all the different things you could be doing. It could simply be the fear of doing something that is new. When I started my hypnotherapy practice, I felt extremely uncomfortable taking my first phone call from a prospective client, then running my very first hypnotherapy session as a professional and asking for payment at the end.

Change your focus

To deal effectively with the fear of the work involved also requires a change of focus. Here is how I did it.

When I delivered my first session as a professional hypnotherapist, I reminded myself that I had successfully achieved a government accredited hypnotherapy qualification, and provided 50 hypnotherapy sessions to friends. I reminded myself that this first session as a professional would be no different to working with friends.

Rather than thinking about the work involved in getting Self Help for Life off the ground, I focussed on enjoying the process of learning the things I needed to know to be successful. I reminded myself that I could be at university learning theoretical information that might work, completing assignments that might be useful in the “real world” and spending a small fortune for the privilege.

If it’s the process of dating, then focus on how going on dates will improve your communication skills and your understanding of different people. Focus on how any rejection will make you more resilient and leads you one step closer to finding the right person.

A key thing to realize is that where you are now is comfortable. The work involved to achieve a significant goal or change in your life can be uncomfortable, but the result (and sometimes the effort as well) will be satisfying.

If you don’t put in the effort, you’ll feel comfortable, but not satisfied. Take action and get out of your comfort zone and you’ll experience satisfaction.

So you can have comfort or satisfaction, but not both! Well not initially anyway! There will come a time when you achieve your goal when you finally make it. That’s when you can have both.

Fear of Failure

The third fear that keeps you stuck is fear of failure or fear of not getting the outcome. This is a biggie! Let’s say you take massive action, you sacrifice other parts of your life that you enjoy, and you don’t get the results!

You do things to achieve a better lifestyle, whether that’s making money, losing weight or mastering a sport. Achieving success in these areas gives you more enjoyment and more satisfaction. But what if this doesn’t happen? What if you fail? You put in all this time and nothing changes.

Anything you do in life is a risk, but there are ways to minimize this risk and change your perception about any risks involved.

Focus on the process

Start by focussing more on the process rather than the end goal. For losing weight, focus on completing each exercise session or becoming curious about trying lots of different healthy foods and discovering how tasty they are!

If it’s a business or new career, focus on the new skills you will learn and how you can apply these new skills to other areas of your life. For example, I know that every YouTube video I make improves my verbal communication skills. This makes me a better communicator and presenter and that’s a great skill to have.

The same applies to writing articles like this one. Written communication is so important in achieving success in your career. In my case, it might even lead to me writing a book.

So, even if the business venture is not successful, you have still learnt some great skills that will stand you in good stead for whatever you decide to do next.

Keep taking action

I also believe that if you put in the effort, the results will follow eventually. If you do enough of the right things, results will start to happen. It can take longer for some people and that’s okay. We all come from a different starting point.

It takes a certain amount of effort to get the numbers to work in your favor. You need to go on enough dates to find your perfect partner. It takes a certain amount of healthy eating and exercise to smash your weight loss goals. It requires a certain number of blog posts or YouTube videos before Google takes notice! So, the more you do and the more consistent you are, the greater the chance of hitting the goal.

Another great way to overcome the fear or failure is to visualize what you want. This makes you feel excited and that increases your level of vibration. So if you’re working on losing weight, visualize yourself feeling fit, happy, vibrant, enjoying tasty new food, or shopping for clothes that fit your new body.

For a business it could be visualizing being your own boss, having a long term passive income, or simply doing what you love.

Conclusion

So, to recap, the 3 fears that keep you stuck and stop you moving forward with your life are:

  1. Fear of loss
  2. Fear of the work involved
  3. Fear of failure

To overcome or change your perception around these fears, you will want to:

  1. Become aware of these fears (you need to notice them before you can change them)
  2. Change your perception of these fears by thinking about them in a different and more positive way.
  3. Focus more on what you want. This will allow the fear to take less space in your mind.
  4. Develop a really strong why. This will give you the energy and motivation to overcome your fears.
  5. Enjoy the process and the journey. The experience and skills that you learn are in many ways more important than the outcome.
  6. Have trust that the results will come and faith in your own ability to make it happen.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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You want to stop being lazy, but don’t know how?  This article will cover how to stop laziness in its tracks, so you can be productive, efficient, successful and happy.

In this article, I talk about the three different types of laziness and the two different types of motivation.  Keep reading and find out which of these apply to you. 

I’ll also cover the laziness checklist. This will help you find out if you really are being lazy or not.  Its good to know this before applying my strategies to help you to stop being lazy.

I then cover 9 fantastic ways to stop being lazy.  All of these methods are highly effective and easy to apply to your life.  Keep reading and learn how to make laziness a thing of the past for you.

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The Three Types of Laziness

There are 3 different types of laziness. The first type is long-term laziness. This is procrastination on a task for weeks, months or even years. Examples include losing your job 12 months ago and doing very little to find a new job, gaining weight and doing very little about it, or being at university and doing very little studying.

With long-term laziness, the person is not thinking about the problem. It’s not stressing them out. They are ignoring it, hiding it until it becomes so bad that they have to do something about it.

The second type is short-term laziness. This is where you experience a rut. You’re normally motivated, successful, even a high-achiever, but for some reason, you have lost your drive and your motivation. You even find it hard to do the things that you are normally motivated to do.

Unlike long-term laziness, you will be much more aware of short-term laziness. You will be thinking about it a lot. Or, you could be having thoughts about wasting time and not achieving things. Perhaps, you might be mentally beating yourself up. This will lead to negative emotions such as frustration or guilt.

The third type is situational laziness. This is being highly motivated to do some things but not others. You might be very motivated to do extra work to enhance your career, but not to improve your health or fitness. This really comes down to your priorities and the importance you give to different areas of your life.

Situational laziness can also come from all-or-nothing thinking. This is thinking about how I must achieve this one thing to the exclusion of everything else.

Before you try and resolve your laziness, first work out which of the 3 types of laziness it is. Then use the following checklist to work out whether it’s really laziness or do you just need some time out.

Laziness Checklist

Before looking at ways to overcome laziness, I recommend that you answer the 3 questions below. These act as a checklist and will identify if there is a genuine reason for being lazy, perhaps a signal that you need to slow down and relax.

Are you burnt out? When did you last have a holiday? If you haven’t had a few days off in the last 6 months, then perhaps you need a holiday or a few days in a different environment.

Are you tired? If you are physically tired or feeling run down, then its going to be much harder to be motivated and have the energy to do your best work. If this is the case, perhaps a rest or at least a power nap is what you really need.

Is your life out of balance? Perhaps you’re working very hard and missing out on fun and social interaction? This is something I certainly feel when I have spent a whole day on the computer at home and not interacted with anyone, except for the occasional phone calls. We all have different human needs and it’s important that we strike a balance between these different human needs.

Different Types of Motivation

Before I cover how to stop being lazy, I’ll briefly describe the two different types of motivation.

The first type is negative or away from motivation. This is being motivated by the pain of NOT doing something. It could be that your motivation to lose weight comes from not wanting to get diabetes or heart disease later in life. Or, you want to meet someone special to avoid the pain of being lonely.

Negative motivation can be very useful in giving you a kick up the backside to take action. However, one of the problems of this type of motivation is that it can wane over time. Once you start getting results, the motivation to continue reduces. This is often why people that use away from motivation to lose weight end up putting some or all of the weight back on again.

The second type is positive or towards motivation. This is thinking about the good and positive things that will happen when you achieve your goal. This is generally more sustainable in the long-term. You see results and this spurs you to keep going.

A great way to increase both negative and positive motivation is to write down a list of all the reasons for achieving this goal. The more reasons the better! When you have enough good reasons, the motivation will naturally come.

The 9 Ways to Stop Being Lazy

I will now cover 9 specific ways to help you to stop being lazy and take action in your life.

1. Have an accountability buddy

This always works for me! In the past, I have been accountable to many different people including personal trainers, naturopaths and music teachers. When I had a personal trainer, I made the time to exercise between sessions because I knew that the personal trainer would find out if I didn’t! Seeing a naturopath regularly kept my diet, caffeine and alcohol intake in check. At school or college, we automatically had accountability. It’s called a deadline! – Get the assignment in on time or else!

Being accountable to a professional that you are paying for is the best option. When I was paying $95 a session with a personal trainer, I worked out regularly between sessions because I wanted to get my money’s worth!

If you have a friend or colleague as an accountability buddy, then you can increase your odds of success by “paying up” For example, let’s say you want to stop drinking coffee. You agree with your accountability buddy that every time you have a coffee, you will give $10 to charity (or to your buddy!). That’s going to really hurt after a while, as that’s good money that you could spend on something else. So accountability is really really important and it’s a great way to help you stay motivated and not be lazy.

2. Act before you think

Typically, we have a thought, that generates a feeling, that then generates an action or behavior. However, it works the other way around too!

You act first. This generates a feeling that then changes your thoughts. You fake it until you make it. If you’re about to do something scary like a parachute jump, bungee jump or skydive, then its far better to just do it before the fear stops you in your tracks.

When you do something that you don’t feel like doing, you will often begin to feel like doing it once you start. I’m sure this has happened to you, especially with doing exercise or completing assignments.

3. Do the task for 5 minutes

This really works for me too! You do the task that you’re feeling lazy about for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes only two things can happen.

  1. You keep doing it (the most likely scenario)
  2. You stop! If that happens, it’s probably an indication that you generally need a break, You need to take some time out.

At school, I often procrastinated on practicing the French Horn. However, once I started, I could easily play for one hour, sometimes longer.  So rather than waiting until you feel like doing it, do it anyway, and the feeling will come.

4. Do half the activity

This is either spending half the normal time on an activity or putting in half the normal effort. Let’s say you normally exercise for 40 minutes. Today, you’re feeling lazy, so you do 20 minutes instead.

Or perhaps you’re working on an assignment or blog post. Instead, of doing it to your very best standard, you focus on making it average. This will make the task seem smaller in your mind. You will also have something to go on that you can improve later on. It may end up being close to your normal standard anyway, because you’ve taken the pressure off yourself.

5. Make distractions harder

Spend some time identifying the things that distract you. Perhaps its social media, email or some other kind of notifications that pop up on your screen. If so, turn them all off, so that you won’t be distracted. This might seem like common sense, but it’s amazing how easy it is to become distracted by a notification that arouses your curiosity or interest.

If it’s a natural curiosity or inclination to visit a certain website such as YouTube or Facebook, then you can obtain software that will block certain websites temporarily or even permanently.

6. Make the task easier

This is about making the task or the decision to do the task easier. If you are lazy about exercising first thing in the morning, then have your exercise clothes ready the night before. If you are procrastinating on work or business activities, then create your to-do list the day before. Then as soon as you get to work, you can start on the first task right away.

7. Change your identity around laziness

All behavior stems from your sense of identity. So instead of thinking that I’m a lazy person (which is not really true), change it to I’m a normal person that sometimes feels a little lazy.

Also, watch out for how you speak about laziness to other people. Don’t say “I’m a lazy person” because your unconscious mind will pick up on it. If said regularly, it becomes a negative affirmation.

Think about laziness is something that you do sometimes, rather than part of you. Think of it as a very small part of your overall personality.

8. Set fewer goals

Is your laziness coming from feeling overwhelmed because there is too much to do and you don’t know where to start? If so, perhaps you have underestimated the time and effort required to achieve the goals that you have set yourself.

This was happening to me quite often, so each month, I set fewer goals so that I had a very good chance of achieving all of them.

By setting fewer goals and more realistic goals, you are setting yourself up for success. This increases your confidence in your ability to achieve them and this reduces any feelings of laziness.

9. Set rewards for achieving goals or tasks

The final way to stop laziness in its tracks is to set rewards for achievement. This could be a small or big reward dependent on the task. This gives you something to look forward to when you complete the task. What gets rewarded gets repeated.

We are conditioned to be rewarded for our efforts and this definitely helps you to feel more fulfilled and satisfied.

Make sure that your rewards are relative to the task. For a big task, the reward could be a night out with your partner or with friends. For a small task, it could be a little food treat or spending ten minutes blindly surfing the internet or watching videos on YouTube.

So these are my 9 great ways to help you to stop being lazy. As always, I encourage you to apply these to your life, so that laziness can become a thing of the past for you.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

In this article, you will learn how to stop excessive and repetitive thinking in its tracks and feel more relaxed and peaceful instead.  I believe that repetitive and excessive thinking is a habit, possibly even an addiction. 

In this article, I cover 12 highly effective ways to reduce or stop excessive and repetitive thinking, before it stops you! I’ll also talk about the reasons why you overthink things, the likely triggers and how to know the difference between useful thinking and excessive thinking.

So, if you want to stop excessive and repetitive thinking today, then this article will really help you.

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Could excessive and repetitive thinking be a habit or even an addiction? Could you be addicted to your thinking and reluctant to let go of it? Maybe you believe that if you don’t think about something fully, then something bad is going to happen.

So why is excessive and repetitive thinking a problem? Well, it makes the problem bigger than it really is. It can even seem scarier. Think about any past fear in your life. What made it worse? Probably thinking about it too much.

Now think about an unexpected event that happened in your life where you had to act quickly with little or no time to think. What was the fear like then? – Probably a lot less.

So overthinking increases fear. It also reduces the enjoyment of positive things that you are looking forward to. For example, you have a party coming up and you start thinking about this party quite a lot. You think about how you will act, interact with others and how others will react to you. You then show up at the party, and you find it hard to relax and get into the party spirit. This happened because the overthinking beforehand has subtly raised your level of anxiety making it harder to relax and enjoy the party.

Excessive and repetitive thinking also keeps you out of the present. Instead, you have thoughts about regrets from the past or you’re worried about the future.

Thinking is good and is absolutely essential. It’s overthinking that becomes a problem. So how do you know when you have tipped the balance from thinking to overthinking or excessive thinking?

A normal or useful amount of thinking will help you solve a problem. Excessive and repetitive thinking keeps you in the problem, it keeps you stuck.

You now know what excessive or repetitive thinking is and how to know when you’re doing it. I will now cover 12 powerful and effective ways to help you stop or reduce overthinking.

1. Identify the Specific Fear behind the excessive thoughts

It’s time to get really specific with the fear behind these excessive thoughts. When you overthink things, your mind comes up with vague fears or disaster scenarios without really thinking about what could actually happen.

Ask yourself, what is the worse thing that could happen? Get really specific on what that worst case scenario is and how you would deal with it. By doing this, you will realize that the worst-case scenario is often not as scary as your mind makes it out to be.

2. Reconnect with your senses

When you notice yourself overthinking things, change your focus to your senses. Notice and become completely absorbed in what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and perhaps even tasting. As you notice things, don’t give them a name or meaning (you want to turn this part of your mind off for a while). For example, you’re outside and you notice this lovely flower. You look at it, really get into the detail of the flower. However, you don’t give it a name, think about what it is, or whether you like it or not. Instead, you simply notice it for what it is. Keep doing this with other things, just noticing them with your senses but not thinking about them.

Another way of reconnecting with your senses is to focus on parts of your body. This is also a great way to relax too! Start with your forehead, eyes, cheeks and jaw muscles and consciously notice and relax these muscles. Then continue with your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, stomach, back, lower back, waist, legs, feet, and toes. Focus on how each part of your body currently feels and then imagine the muscles relaxing. The wonderful thing about this exercise is that it gets you out of your head, (your prefrontal cortex to be precise!) and allows you to focus on your body instead.

I highly recommend doing this body awareness exercise regularly. Set reminders on your phone throughout the day to remind you to take a few minutes to do this.

3. Make decisions super quick!

The way to combat overthinking about decisions is to set short decision deadlines. If it’s a small decision such as whether to answer an email, set yourself 30 seconds to decide whether to do that now or later. For bigger decisions (ones that currently take days or weeks), set yourself 30 or 60 minutes to go through all the information then make that decision. Or decide, that you’re going to make that decision by the end of TODAY.

4. Go into the future

Ask yourself, is what I’m thinking about right now, going to really matter in five weeks, five months, or even five years? If the answer is no (and it very often is), then decide to stop thinking about it Just answering this question can help reduce the fear that drives the excessive thoughts.

This is also a great way to identify whether the thinking is useful or excessive. If the answer is no, then you know that it’s just a minor worry that you can let go of.

5. Realize that you cannot control everything

Overthinking is often used as a way to attempt to control every possible outcome or scenario. Or, to avoid making a mistake. However, it’s impossible to predict all possible scenarios in advance, Everyone, even the super successful, make mistakes and that’s okay. Making mistakes is how you learn.

Become more comfortable with making mistakes. Let go of the fear of doing things incorrectly. When you do that, the emotional need to overthink and control every possible scenario will reduce. It’s also very energy draining, so the more that you can let go of control, the more relaxed you will feel.

6. Have trust in a larger process

This larger process will be unique to you and could include God, a universal power, or simply the confidence that you will naturally do the right thing. It could be believing that the right thing will happen naturally.

Alternatively, focus on the what and forget the how. Get really clear and specific on what you want to happen, but be very open and flexible to how it happens. If this fits in with your belief system, then imagine that a higher power will work out the how for you.

7. Know your triggers

Habits and addictions require a trigger to set them off. This trigger can be a situation, person or a time of the day. So, if excessive thinking is a habit, then there will be situations, people and events that trigger this too.

Notice what the triggers are and write them down. Is it a particular person or situation? Once you know what the triggers are, ask yourself, “what can I think and do instead that will make me feel happier and more in control?”.

8. Meditation

Meditation is great because it helps you to observe your overactive mind and any excessive and repetitive thoughts. It also allows you to step back and observe your thoughts. It helps you to realize that you are not your thoughts, but rather the presence behind those thoughts.

Here is a great meditation exercise to help you slow down and reduce the excessive and repetitive thoughts. Imagine you are watching a busy road from a safe place. It’s rush hour and you see the cars going past bumper to bumper. It gets later and later and the number of cars starts to reduce. You notice the space between the cars becoming greater and greater. As you notice this, you become aware of spaces between your thoughts and even moments of silence or absence of thought.

Any type of meditation will work because it focusses your mind on one thing. This could be your breathing, a mantra, a visualization (like the car example above) or someone’s voice (if listening to a guided meditation). By focussing on one thing, you can take a step back and realize that you are not your thoughts, you are the presence behind your thoughts.

9. Dissassociating

Imagine that you are about to do a parachute jump. You are on a plane, looking down, ready to jump and you’ve never done this before. You will probably notice emotions in your body right now. It may be fear or perhaps adrenaline.

Now, imagine the same experience on a movie, a TV screen or even your smartphone screen. See yourself on the plane getting ready to jump and notice how that feels. It’s likely that any feelings will be less intense.

The technique of imagining watching an experience on a screen is called disassociation. It’s a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) term. You can use this in any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. In that disassociated state, you will often get new insights on how to deal with the situation. It will give you the space to think about it more logically.

10. Change Life Goals

Setting unrealistic life goals can force your mind to spend too much time trying to figure out how you’re going to achieve them. In this case, the solution is to make the goals more realistic. I often set myself goals that are very challenging and have really noticed how easy it is to think excessively about how I’m going to achieve these goals. I’ve seen how this can negatively affect my mental health, so I’m a little more realistic now.

11. Notice thoughts, but don’t judge them

Notice your thoughts and become really curious about them. However, don’t judge these thoughts. Even if a really negative thought comes up, just notice it for what it is, just a thought.

Then ask yourself, “is this thought helpful and productive, or is it getting in the way?” If the thought is getting in the way, ask yourself, “what could be a more helpful or productive thought?”.

For this to work best, become really curious about your thoughts, have a sense of fun and playfulness about it.

12. Say “At this moment, I am okay.”

When you notice yourself thinking excessively or repetitively about something, say “At this moment, I am okay“.

In the vast majority of situations, this will be true. Saying this mantra or affirmation will also help you to let go of thoughts about regretting the past or worrying about the future.

You could also say to yourself “right now, everything is good and I am safe and comfortable

So these are 12 wonderful ways to help you overcome excessive and repetitive thinking once and for all. I encourage you to practice and apply these methods and find out which ones work best for you.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

The ability to control and change your emotions has a profound influence on your level of success and happiness. When you feel great, everything seems much easier and things happen very naturally and almost effortlessly. You’re in the zone and life is great!

Being able to successfully control and change your emotions involves becoming responsible for your emotional state. This is not easy to do, but when you really understand what triggers your emotional state, you will be able to take charge of how you feel when life throws you a curve ball!

In this article, I’ll cover 9 specific ways to help you control and change your emotions right now. I know that if you apply these specific techniques and mind shift changes to your own life, things will start to change for you. Positive emotions such as joy, happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, and love will become more apparent in your life and your overall mental state will improve dramatically.

Watch the video below:

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How most people think about emotions

This is how most people believe emotions work.

A situation happens and you either feel good or bad. For example, you get a great new job and you feel excited and can’t wait to start. You get praised for work you’ve done well, and that makes you feel good. It’s the run-up to your holiday and you’re excited. You get a kind gesture from your partner or friend and that makes you feel good too.

It works the other way as well. A difficult boss criticizes your work and you feel not good enough. You experience “post-holiday blues” after your holiday. You feel frustrated over a lack of money or anxious about an illness or pain in the body.

The problem with this way of thinking is that your emotional state depends on something or someone else. It is not within your control. It’s also a problem because how you act depends on how you feel. When you feel excited, inspired, happy and confident, you’re far more likely to perform better and do more. When you feel angry, depressed, sad or frustrated, you’re more likely to procrastinate or sabotage yourself or say something that you regret later.

So most people believe that their ability to act depends on how they feel. How they feel depends on outside situations or life events and these are not completely within your control. We can influence situations and life events, but we cannot completely control them. However, your perception and reaction to outside events is within your control.

How emotions really work

This is how it really works! A situation or life event occurs and that creates a thought about it. This thought then generates some meaning about that situation. That meaning is dependent on a belief that you have. The belief will often be dependent on a past experience. This then generates an emotion, that then generates a behavior or action and this leads to a result. The result then generates a new emotion based on your perception of how well it went.

So our feelings and emotions come from our thoughts about situations or life events. However, most people don’t see it this way because it all happens so fast and is very very unconscious.

Here is an example of how this works. Two people from the same company get made redundant. The first person has the thought “I’ll never get another job” This might be backed up by the core belief that “I’m not good enough“, so this person feels sad, angry, resentful or frustrated. He might also have other thoughts such as “I’m bad at interviews”, or “I’m too old to find another job” that also back up the core belief of “I’m not good enough”. These also generate other negative feelings.

The second person after being made redundant has thoughts such as “I have great skills and experience”, or “I did a really good job there”, or “It’s time for a change anyway”, or “I can get a job with more money”. Behind all these thoughts is the core belief that “I am good enough” As a result, this person feels positive emotions such as confidence, acceptance, or even excitement. This will spur him into finding a new job or even starting his own business.

So it is the meaning that you give to the situation or life event that creates the thoughts, then emotions, rather than the actual event. Being made redundant has no meaning in itself. You unconsciously give it a meaning and that meaning is different for each person.

Another pitfall is that people only assign one meaning to a situation. There could be many different meanings or interpretations. Ask yourself “what else could this mean?” Remember that “the only meaning this has is the meaning you give it

Now it’s time to learn how to break this automatic trigger between situations and emotions. As this is very unconscious and automatic, this may take some effort, time and persistence, but trust me, it will be worth the effort. Here are some wonderful ways to help you control and change your emotions.

1. Awareness

It all starts with awareness. Remind yourself that you are in control of how you feel. Remind yourself that you generate the thought (the meaning) to a situation. The thought (and the belief behind it) generates an emotion. This emotion then spurs you into action (or inaction) and this leads to further thoughts and emotions that seem dependent on how the action goes.

As you’re awareness improves, you will start to catch yourself when situations happen that make you feel bad. You can interrupt the pattern by generating new thoughts and a new meaning to this situation. Then notice how your emotions change.

The earlier you catch yourself the better. Once the negative emotion becomes more intense, blood flows away from the prefrontal cortex (the logical, reasoning part of your brain) to the amygdala (the emotional brain). This is why it’s hard to think straight when you feel stressed or emotional.

If you don’t catch yourself in time, then wait until the emotions die down and then ask “how else could I look at this?”. “What positive thoughts and meanings could I give to this situation?”

This will help you take 100% responsibility for your emotions and this is essential for your emotional health.

2. Know when it is okay to feel bad

Major life events require some kind of adjustment or grieving process. These could include.

  • Death of a loved one
  • Relationship breakup
  • Redundancy
  • Major health challenge or scare

Part of the grieving process involves taking the time to really express all the sadness and other emotions that you have experienced as a result of this major life event. You will almost certainly need the help of a good friend or perhaps a therapist to help you through this major life change.

Use this time as an opportunity to take stock of your life and perhaps make some changes. Sometimes, your best life-changing decisions can come at the darkest of times.

The goal of the grieving process is to gain acceptance. This takes time, so be gentle on yourself.

3. Release Negative Emotions

When it comes to dealing with emotions, many people suppress them or hold them inside. This can be bad for your body as it creates additional tension. Also, your unconscious mind cannot hold these emotions inside forever, so it will try and express them. This can explain why some people get upset at what seems like a trivial situation. It’s like the straw that broke the camels back.

The alternative is to express your emotions. This is good for you, but is not so good if you are expressing your emotions to your partner or a close friend regularly. At these times, the help of a good therapist can help you express and then release these emotions once and for all.

The third option (which most people don’t know about) is to release the emotions. My favorite method for releasing emotions is the Sedona Method. Hypnotherapy and the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) are great options as well.

4. The 7 Day Emotional Awareness Exercise

This is a great exercise to help you control and change your emotions. It involves becoming more aware of your emotions and the things that seem to trigger them. For the next 7 days, become extra aware of your negative emotions. Stop and notice how you are feeling. Become aware of the thoughts behind the emotion and write them down. Ask “what kind of thoughts am I thinking right now?”

The key here is not to stop the negative emotions. Instead, you begin to notice the thoughts and write them down. You won’t catch all of them, but you will catch enough of them to see the link between your feelings and the thoughts that are behind them.

5. Change the meaning by asking questions

The next way is to change the meaning of these thoughts by asking yourself questions like :

  • What’s good about this?
  • What else could this mean?

Asking the right questions forces your mind to find the good in the situation or event. Sometimes, it will take some perseverance to find the good, but it will always be there when you look for it and ask the right questions.

6. Change your focus

This is similar to changing the meaning, but is more around your consistent thoughts and what you imagine about the situation. In the redundancy example, start focussing more on what you want. This could be imagining successful interviews, seeing lots of opportunities out there, reminding yourself of all the great skills and experience that you already have. The key is to spend more time and emotional energy on focussing on what you want.

7. Change your Physiology

Emotions are very associated with your body. If you’re feeling a negative emotion, its likely that your head will be down, your shoulders forward, you won’t be smiling and your breathing will be shallow.

When you notice this, consciously do the opposite. Put your head up, smile, breathe deeply and move your shoulders back and notice how the feeling or emotion changes. If you want to feel confident, think about the physiology of a confident person. They will be smiling, their head will be up, they will be talking clearly, using gestures and looking relaxed.

When you change your physiology, your emotions will change and then your thoughts will change as well. By acting first, your thoughts then follow.

8. Change your Language

What you say to yourself and to other people has a large effect on how you feel.

Start by banishing the word “I can’t” and start speaking to others in positive ways as much as possible. When you say things like “I’m not good at interviews” or “I’m not very confident”, your unconscious mind hears that. It’s like a negative affirmation. Although you are saying this to someone else, your unconscious mind still picks up on this.

9. Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations when used consistently will begin to change your emotional state, not just when you say them, but at other times as well. Here are two great affirmations to help you improve your emotional state right now!

  • I can change how I feel right now
  • I am in charge of how I feel.

So these are 9 great ways to control and change your emotions right now and develop more spontaneous and unconscious positive emotions over time. As I mentioned earlier, the thoughts behind situations that create negative emotions are often very unconscious and very fast. So it will take time to generate these new patterns and it is important to be consistent.

One of the best ways to consistently control and change your emotions is to have a morning ritual. This is one or more things that you do first thing in the morning to reprogram your mind for success. To help you create a powerful morning ritual that will help you change your emotions quickly, I highly recommend a program called Morning Ritual Mastery. I have used this program several times to create effective and empowering morning rituals in my life so that I set myself up for success every day!

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Thank you for reading this article.  I hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

In this article, you will learn how to easily improve your self-image today.  I will also cover the symptoms of a low self-image and the types of behaviors that are common when your self-image is low.

I’ll then cover 9 effective and practical ways to improve your self-image so that you can feel better about yourself right now. What would your life be like when you improve your self-image? It’s easier than you think and in this article, I’ll show you how.

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Self-image is what you think about yourself, it’s who you are and what you think other people think of you.

To help you understand what self-image really is, I’m going to talk about a plastic surgeon called Maxwell Maltz. He used plastic surgery to help people look better. He noticed that around 80% of people that underwent plastic surgery, acted differently as a result of looking better.  Basically, the surgery had caused their self-image to change.

However, the remaining 20%, continued to behave the same way.  When studying the 20% that didn’t change, Maxwell Maltz realized that in spite of the plastic surgery, their self-image, their internal sense of themselves had not changed. If this was the case, then perhaps people could improve their self-image without having surgery. It was this insight that led to Maxwell Maltz writing an incredibly successful self-help book called “PsychoCybernetics“.  This was the first self-help book that I ever read! – Highly recommended!

The core idea in this book is that we have some kind of mental picture of ourselves, which he calls our self-image.  When your self-image is low, you’ll tend to do things that don’t help you, such as eating junk food or drinking too much or taking drugs.  You might say negative things about other people as a way of boosting your self-esteem. You might avoid doing things that make you happy.

Our self-image or sense of self is often quite unconscious. The way you behave in any given moment depends on how much you like yourself in that moment.  Your self-image is not static, it’s constantly changing throughout the day. When your self-image is low, you might say things like, “I don’t deserve this” or “I’m not worthy”.

What people with a low self-image typically do

I’m now going to cover some common behavioral traits of people with low self-image.

People with a low self-image tend to compare themselves with others. Notice the times when you compare yourself with other people, judge others or even criticize other people.  This is a common sign that your self-image has taken a hit and you’re trying to use other people to give it a boost.

Another behavioral trait is being unable to receive compliments. Imagine someone comes up to you and says “you did that brilliantly”. What would you say in return?  A person with a high self-image would probably smile and say “thank you”. A person with a low self-image might say something like “it was okay”, “it was nothing really”, or ” I could have done it better”  Which of these statements could you relate to?

People with a low self-image also find it really hard to give compliments to other people.  It could be because they are too much in their own head to notice the wonderful work of other people or it may be a fear of the compliment coming out all wrong.

Low self-image can also make it hard to ask for what you want or leave you feeling envious or jealous of other people.

You might also find yourself focussing on the needs of other people too much.   This can be difficult to judge.  If you feel good helping others, then it’s coming from the right place within yourself.  If it’s feeling like a chore and your own needs are getting neglected, then that’s going to lower your self-image over time.

Another one to watch is excessive negative self-talk. If you’re noticing a lot of internal dialogue or self-talk in your head, then this can be a characteristic of having a low self-image as well.

So how do you improve your self-image? To some extent, it is doing the opposite of what I’ve just covered above.  However, I’m going to cover specific ways to help you improve your self-image today.

1. Don’t Compare Yourself with Others

You never really know what is going on in someone else’s head, so it’s almost impossible to really compare yourself with anyone else. You might notice someone that is really confident and self-assured on the outside. They look like they’re really together, but their internal world of thoughts and feelings could be very different!

Focus on being your authentic self instead.  Act as you would really like to be.

Instead of comparing yourself with others, compare yourself with where you want to be. Think about where you are now and compare that with where you want to be in a month, a year or five years time.

2. Give and Receive Compliments

Giving compliments gets you out of your own head and focussing on other people.  You begin to develop a sense of gratitude for who they are and what they do.  You focus on what you can learn from others.  This is so different from comparing yourself with others because it comes from a place of gratitude and abundance.

Then start graciously accepting compliments. When someone gives you a compliment, just smile and say “thank you”. That’s it!  Think about how Richard Branson would accept a compliment. He would probably smile and say “thank you”.

Also, take the time to notice how lovely it feels when someone compliments you.

4. Separate Your Behavior from You

What you do and how you act or behave is not related to your self-image, your self worth or sense of who you are.

If you make a mistake, it’s not part of you. It doesn’t mean you’re a stupid person, you just made a mistake. If you upset someone, don’t make that part of who you are. Just realize that you upset someone, it wasn’t intentional and that you’ll learn from the experience. It does not mean that you’re a bad person, You might feel a bit guilty, but that won’t last for as long if you don’t define this incident as part of who you are.

5. Develop a Morning Routine or Morning Ritual

A morning routine or ritual is doing something proactive for you first thing in the morning. You do this before you do anything else. There are lots of things you can do including meditating, reciting positive affirmations, journaling or visualizing yourself and the person you want to become. You could use this time to read books, watch videos or listen to podcasts that develop the mind.

Whatever you decide to do, the key is to take some time out for yourself, to work on proactively improving your mind and emotions, so you’re looking forward to the day and you’re programming your day for success.  This can do wonders for your level of self-image because you are putting yourself first and you’re working consistently on improving your mental (and perhaps) physical health as well.

If you would like some help on how to create an empowering morning ritual, then click here to check out Morning Ritual Mastery.

6. Think Good Things About You

Any negative thoughts that you have about yourself are no more accurate than the alternative positive thoughts. It’s impossible to know which thoughts are more accurate. Even if the negative thoughts were more accurate, they are going to make you feel bad and who wants that?

So you might as well think the kind of thoughts, that will make you feel good, excited and inspired!  Some examples include “today is a great day” or “I’m a good person and good things happen to me”, or “I am enough”, or “I am good enough”. Say affirmations like these regularly to yourself throughout the day.

7. Say Good Things About You

Now that you are thinking good things about you, it becomes easier to say good things about you.

Start by stopping yourself from saying anything negative about yourself. When a negative thought comes to mind (and it will), resist the temptation to say it to another person. It’s better to keep your mouth shut than to say something that makes you feel bad.

8. Look After Your Body

This is easier said than done, because when you have a low self-image, you don’t feel like exercising, eating the right foods or doing the right things to nourish your body.

The solution is to “act as if”. Do the exercise, make healthy food and drink choices even when you don’t feel like it.  When you “act as if”, your self-image and self-worth will improve.

Do just one minute of jumping jacks, running on the spot or simply smiling! Eat well and exercise regularly and you’ll soon have more energy and you’ll feel better about yourself. You’ll feel more motivated and your self-confidence will improve as well.

9. Visualize How You Want To Be

It’s the current thoughts and images in your mind about who you are now, that lead to a low self-image and feelings of low self-esteem,

Instead, think and imagine the you that you would like to become. Think about how you will act in different situations in a new and confident way. Notice how things will change in your life.

This is a great thing to do regularly as part of a morning routine. When you visualize who you want to become consistently, you will change your sense of identity and the inner feeling of who you are.

When your identity, your sense of who you are, changes, your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behavior change to reflect this new identity.

So these are my practical ways to help you easily improve your self-image today, I hope you found these useful and I encourage you to practice them. Start applying these on a daily basis and notice how your self-image starts to improve and old thoughts and ideas begin to fade away.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

Have you ever wondered how to reprogram your subconscious mind for success? The good news is that it’s easier than you think. When you do this correctly, success feels natural and you instinctively do the right things to get the results that you want.

In this article, I cover 7 great ways to reprogram your subconscious mind for success. There are many ways to do this and they all work really well when applied consistently.

Learn how to reprogram your subconscious mind for success. Experience what it’s like when your conscious and subconscious mind are working together.

Watch the video below:

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What is the subconscious mind? Well, many people describe it as like an iceberg. There is a small part that is visible which represents the conscious mind and the larger, submerged part that you don’t see, which represents the subconscious mind.

You can also think of the subconscious mind as everything that you’re not aware of right now.  The conscious mind can only focus on about six to ten bits of information at any one time. So, to show you what I mean, I want you to start thinking about your left foot. You have now become conscious of your left foot, but you weren’t until I mentioned it.

The subconscious mind also controls your breathing, heart rate, and sleep. A crucial difference between your conscious and subconscious mind is that the subconscious mind does not reason or filter information. Instead, it faithfully records all your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

This is a good thing and a bad thing. It’s a good thing when learning to drive.  At first, everything took your complete conscious awareness. For example, changing gears, steering, and all the road rules. However, as you practiced driving more and more, it became more automatic. This is because your subconscious mind remembered and stored all these behaviors so you didn’t have to think about them consciously.  Now you can drive and hold a conversation at the same time.

It can be a bad thing if you have a very negative experience or some kind of trauma.  Your subconscious mind faithfully records this experience in the same way. It then brings this up in other future situations as a way of protecting you. You might find that you keep recalling this negative experience and then get the negative feelings from it.

How do you reprogram your subconscious mind for success? Well, here are 7 easy, highly effective and practical ways to do this.

1. Affirmations

Affirmations are short, positive, present tense statements that you can read to yourself or say out loud. You can also record them and then play them back regularly. The key thing with affirmations is repeating them consistently and often so that they become a belief.  The affirmation begins to feel true for you. This then overrides any old negative beliefs.

As you keep repeating them, your subconscious mind will pick up on the affirmations and new thoughts, feelings, and behaviors will happen automatically. Just like learning to drive a car, the new affirmations will become natural, instinctive and a part of your behavior and personality.

The thing about affirmations is that you’re probably using them already without realizing it!  Any negative thought that you have often is an affirmation!  As you’re repeating affirmations unconsciously anyway, it makes sense to start saying positive affirmations to replace those negative ones.

2. Creative Visualization

Your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined. When you vividly imagine something, you are using the same circuits in your brain as you would for a real experience.

Athletes and sports people know this. They use visualization consciously and unconsciously. For them, it’s called mental rehearsal. They mentally visualize winning, playing the perfect shot or getting through the finish line in record time.

I cover creative visualization in another article that you can read here.  The key points are to ensure that you are relaxed before you start.  Then visualize on a large screen (like a large movie screen), use lots of colors and incorporate all your senses.  Notice the sounds, feelings, even smell and taste as well as what you see.

3. Self-Hypnosis or Guided Meditation

This involves getting into a very relaxed state and then either listening to a guided self-hypnosis or meditation recording or simply repeating positive statements to yourself as a mantra.

Being in a relaxed state is super important as this will influence your brain waves. In normal waking consciousness, you will be in the Beta brain wave state.  This level of brain activity is required for reasoning, making decisions or analyzing information.

When you meditate, use self-hypnosis or simply daydream, your brain waves slow down to the Alpha state. In this state, your brain is much more receptive to learning new information. This is why this state is great for meditation or self-hypnosis.

When your brain waves slow down even further, you go into the Theta brainwave state.  This is when you experience Rapid Eye Movement and is similar to when you are just drifting off to sleep or just waking up.  In this state, you are even more receptive to new positive ideas and to visualizing new positive outcomes in your life.  It’s also great for much deeper meditations.

In both Alpha and Theta state, your internal dialogue or self-talk becomes much less intense. This is important as this self-talk can often question new ideas. When the self-talk is less intense (or completely absent), new positive ideas (either from a recording or by saying them to yourself) can sink in more deeply to your subconscious mind.

The best times to do self-hypnosis and guided meditations are first thing in the morning or just before going to sleep.  At these times, your brain is already in the Alpha state. However, don’t let that stop you. At other times, just spend five minutes relaxing, so that your brain waves slow down before listening to a self-hypnosis or guided meditation recording or before repeating the new positive ideas.

4. Think and Speak Positive

As mentioned earlier, your subconscious mind does not reason. It doesn’t choose what goes in there. It just faithfully records what you think, say, feel and do.

And your subconscious mind does not understand the word not or don’t. So when you say “I’m not stressed”, your subconscious mind has to think about (or imagine) the feeling of stress.

Here is a little exercise for you to do right now!

Think or say the phrase “Don’t eat that cheesecake”.  What do you notice as you think or say that? – I’m guessing that you are imagining a cheesecake.  You might see it in your imagination or even imagine tasting it.  Your subconscious mind typically thinks in pictures. To think about NOT having something, it has to imagine it first.

Start by noticing the words that you speak. Are they positive? Are you using the word not or don’t often?  Become conscious of the words you say to others first. If they are negative or about what you don’t want, then start to change them.

Once you get comfortable with that, start working on your thoughts. When you notice a negative thought (or a thought about something that you don’t want), begin to challenge or interrupt that thought. Then replace it with something that is more positive.

This is more spontaneous than affirmations. It’s about noticing the thoughts and changing them on the fly to what you do want. Remember that your mind is a muscle and becomes used to a certain way of thinking. So it’s going to take some effort to change this, but it’s really worth it!  When you persevere with it, it will get easier, and more positive ideas will start to impress on your subconscious mind.

5. Influencing Your Dreams

This idea is really interesting!  It’s about influencing your dreams, so they work for you! Dreams are very unconscious and appear to be outside of our direct control.  Dreaming is how your subconscious minds stores important information, skills, and experiences into long term memory  However, you can influence this and here is how to do it.

As you are going to sleep, think about an issue that you would like solved. Then mentally hand this over to your subconscious mind as you go to sleep.  The key is not to think about a specific answer or the specific ways that the issue will be solved.  Instead, you think about the issue and the positive outcome as you go to sleep.

The answer may then appear in your dreams or you wake up with a new insight, a solution or something that you hadn’t thought of.  If you wake up during the night with a new insight, then it is important that you write it down straight away. You may not remember it in the morning.  One way to do this is to have a dream notebook by your bed so you can write these things down easily during the night.

When you go to sleep, your brain waves slow down and your subconscious mind becomes much more receptive to new ideas.  This is one of the reasons why this process can be a very effective way to reprogram your subconscious mind for success.

6. Conscious Practice

Learning to drive a car is a great example of the power of conscious practice.  Same goes for learning a sport or a musical instrument. It always amazes me how a virtuoso pianist can play an entire concerto from memory. How do they do that? What makes them remember all those notes?  How do they remember all those finger positions and do everything at exactly the right time?

Well, it’s because they have practiced, practiced and practiced so much that it has become part of their “muscle memory”. They can play that entire concerto without thinking about playing the notes. Instead, the virtuoso focusses on the music and the nuances of the style. They make it seem so easy!

To achieve that level of success and proficiency, the pianist learned the entire concerto consciously and then memorized it. It’s exactly the same when you practice regularly to get good at a sport or other skill.

However, this also applies to how you think and feel.  The more you focus on what you want and take time to feel good, then the more this impresses on your subconscious mind allowing it to become a natural and automatic part of your personality.

7. Focus on What You Want

I often work with people that have fears and phobias. A certain situation occurs (such as spiders, needles or flying) which creates an immediate and unconscious emotional response.  However, when I delve deeper, I find that they were thinking about this experience negatively for days, weeks, maybe even months before the event arises. So they have been unconsciously programming their subconscious mind to feel fear in that situation.

The solution is to focus on other things or what you want to happen instead. Focus on the likely scenario. For example, feeling relaxed and comfortable on a flight or feeling relaxed and comfortable when you next have an injection or a blood test. Alternatively, consciously focus your mind on something else, anything else! By doing this, you will start to reduce the impact that your subconscious mind has with this type of experience.

So these are my 7 very practical and effective ways to help reprogram your subconscious mind for success. The key is to practice these things consciously until they become unconscious.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Paul

In this article, you will learn a number of practical and effective ways to tame your negative internal voice.  This is the internal dialogue or self-talk that runs a commentary of your life, which is often negative.

What would it be like to stop or reduce this negative internal voice?  You know the one that makes you feel bad or stops you in your tracks.

This article will help you have a different relationship with your negative internal voice so that it controls you less and less.

Watch the video below:

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This is really important! You are not your negative internal voice, The inner dialogue inside your head is NOT really you. You’re just the one that hears it. This internal dialogue that you hear affects how you feel, behave, and how you do things. However, the real you is separate from that negative internal voice. The real you is not that internal voice.

The difference between You and your negative internal voice

There are two parts. The first part is You (or your consciousness). This includes your awareness, sense of identity, your ambitions, goals and your core being. The other part is this internal voice that provides a commentary of everything that is happening in your life, including all the things you are seeing, hearing, and feeling. It’s like a sports commentary. When things are going well, the internal voice is quiet and slow. When something exciting happens, then that voice is loud and fast. It’s also loud and fast when something negative or scary happens.

Your internal voice manipulates your experience according to your beliefs, sense of identity, self-image, and self-worth. When all is well, this voice will say nice things to you and make you feel good. When things go badly, this internal voice may say things that make you feel fearful or anxious.

So here are some examples of this internal voice working against you in different situations

  • You make a mistake or do something poorly.  This negative voice says things like “you always make mistakes”, or, “you’re a stupid person”
  • Talking to another person.  Rather than really listening to the other person, this negative voice chirps up and says things like “I don’t like the way he’s talking” or “I don’t like his mannerisms”, or “am I coming across well to this person?”, or “does this person like me?” It’s like this negative internal voice is either judging you or the other person.
  • You’re trying to solve a problem and you keep thinking about it over and over again.
  • You are worrying about future situations. it could be work, health, finances or overall security.  This internal voice runs a negative internal commentary about the future.

Your inner roommate

In his book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, he describes this negative internal voice as your inner roommate. Imagine having this roommate that’s constantly criticizing and saying bad things about you. How would you deal with this roommate? More on this later.

The problem is that your mind engages or pays attention to this endless chatter, or negative internal voice. However, now that you know that this internal voice is not really you, you can begin to separate that voice from the real you.

So, how do you tame your negative internal voice?

1. Become aware of this negative internal voice

The first step to tame your negative internal voice is to notice or become more aware of it. Notice what it says and how it’s saying it. However, make sure that you don’t just blindly follow what it says. Remember, it’s not you. It’s just that negative internal voice.

2. Develop an attitude of curiosity

Rather than blindly following it, start to be more curious about the thoughts and words that come to mind. Ask yourself, “why is it thinking that way?”, or “what is the positive intention behind this?”

Another way is to think of the negative internal voice as like traffic on a highway. Start by visualizing that you are on the side of a highway (or on a bridge) watching the traffic.  It’s evening rush hour and the cars are bumper to bumper. Then imagine the traffic reducing and notice the spaces between the cars as it gets later and later.  As you visualize the gaps in the traffic, begin to notice gaps in your internal dialogue or thoughts.  Notice the times when you have an absence of thoughts.

Never try to stop this internal negative voice directly.  This doesn’t work.  Remember, what you resist, persists! The more you try and stop it, the worse it gets.  Instead, just remember that this negative internal voice is not you and then choose to let it go as you breathe out.

Remember that this internal voice is useful when you’re in physical danger. That’s what it’s there for,  However, most of the time, we are not in immediate physical danger. In these times, you can choose to ignore it, or just let it go.

3. Think of this voice as another person

Think of your negative internal voice as a real person that is talking to you (or even shouting at you!). As mentioned earlier, Michael Singer suggests thinking of this negative internal voice as your inner roommate.

Then ask yourself, “would I allow another person to talk to me in such a negative or impolite way”. Would I really allow someone else to talk to me like that? How would you react if someone did talk to you in that way? What would you do? Would you argue with them? Would you convince them that you’re not really like that?  Start to challenge what you are hearing as if it was coming from a real person.

Also, ask yourself, “is this what I want?” The answer will almost certainly be No! Who wants a negative person like that in their head telling them what they can and can’t do!

4. Turn down the volume or change the tone

This is a great technique that comes from NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Imagine you have a remote control (like a TV remote) and see yourself slowly decreasing the volume on the remote control device. Keep doing this until your negative internal voice becomes just a whisper. Then turn it off completely.  This is a great technique to use when you notice that the voice is quite loud and dominating.

You can also change the tone of this internal voice. Start by listening to it. Then ask, does it remind you of someone? Perhaps it sounds like one of your parents, a school teacher or some other authority figure. Even if it doesn’t remind you of someone, ask yourself if this voice is very stern or serious? If it is, then you can change it.

When it’s a male voice, change it to a female voice.  When it’s a female voice, change it to a male voice.  You can also change the accent. Imagine this voice with a silly accent, perhaps a naughty french accent! – how does that change things? Most people notice that the meaning and power of their negative internal voice is reduced when they change the tone.

5.  Change “I” statements to “You” statements

Here are some examples

“I am so stupid”, change it to “You are so stupid”.

“I just can’t do this”, change it to “You just can’t do this”.

This is even more effective when you write down these statements as you notice them. Grab your journal and start writing down all the negative “I” statements that you can think of, and then change them to “you” statements.

By doing this, you separate these statements from your identity and that creates a powerful positive shift.  It feels like your inner roommate is saying it to you, rather than you saying it to yourself. This little change of language can really help neutralize the feelings and particularly the negative emotions that can come from that internal voice.

6. Meditation

Another great way to tame your negative internal voice is meditation. Meditation has many benefits and this will be the topic of another blog post. However, the great thing about meditation is the ability to focus on one thing only. Now, that one thing could be your breathing, or a guided meditation or hypnosis recording.

The key to meditation is to develop the skill to notice very quickly when you’re mind wonders and then gently bring it back to whatever you are focussing on.

So, when you’re focusing on something, your negative internal voice will try and interrupt it. And it will do this many times, especially when you start meditating and that’s okay. When you notice your mind wandering, gently breathe out and allow that voice to fade into the background.

Regular Meditation also improves your concentration and focus.  It also makes the I part of you (the you that is not your negative internal voice) much stronger over time.

So, I highly recommend doing about 10 minutes of meditation each day. This will really help you to control that negative internal voice in your head.

So these are a few great ways to help you tame your negative internal voice. And remember that just by reading this article, you’re going to start to look at your internal voice differently. Continue to keep in mind this idea that you and your internal voice are two different parts.  When you do this, you’ll notice a profound change in the relationship that you have with your internal voice.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

Please click on the links below to get automatic updates of all my latest video blogs.

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Thank you for reading this article.  Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

In this article, you will learn the 10 fundamental steps that will help you set and achieve your goals in 2019. If you are reading this article and it’s not January or even 2019, then you can still use this process to set and achieve your goals.

Successful people set and achieve goals! It’s that simple! If you don’t know where you’re heading, then how can you measure your progress? Besides, it feels good when you achieve your goals. It gives you a reason to celebrate and give yourself a pat on the back.

There is a right and a wrong way to set goals. In this article, I will go really in-depth into the goal setting process, so that you can set yourself goals that are believable, achievable and a little bit of a stretch too!

This process not only works brilliantly for annual goals but also for monthly and quarterly goals as well.  Master the ability to set and achieve your goals in 2019 by applying the information in this article today!

Watch the video below:

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A staggering 98% of people that set new year goals and new year resolutions don’t achieve them. That leaves only 2% that do! My purpose with this article is to help you become one of the 2% that achieve your new year resolutions and goals.

You can set goals at any time of the year. January 1st is only a date! Why wait, when you can set and achieve your goals right now! Waiting until January 1st is just an excuse! Also, the process that I’m about to cover works fantastically with quarterly and monthly goals as well.

Let’s start by getting into a great state! Put some inspirational or energetic music on and start moving your body. When you’re in a great state, you will set goals that really inspire you. If you can, do this process in an inspirational place, perhaps outside with nature.

I originally learnt this 10 step goal setting and achieving process from the Life Mastery Accelerator monthly mentoring program by Stephan James. If you follow Tony Robbins, you will probably be familiar with some of this process as well.

Step 1: Review the previous year, month or quarter

Start by reviewing and reflecting on what happened in the last year, month or quarter. There are 3 parts to this.

Part 1: Focus on your achievements, wins and successes

Look at your achievements, wins, successes and happy moments. Notice what went well and what you really enjoyed. This will give you the confidence and clarity that you can achieve your new goals by reminding you of what you have already achieved. This then strengthens your belief in your ability to achieve the goals that you set yourself.

Part 2: Look at the struggles, setbacks and challenges

Now look at the struggles, challenges, and the things that you didn’t want to happen. This is important because it creates awareness. Notice what didn’t go to plan and the things that were difficult for you.

Part 3: What can I learn from these challenges, setbacks or struggles

Find out what you can learn from the challenges, setbacks, or struggles that you identified. This is super important, because you don’t want to repeat the same mistakes again.

Step 2: Create or Review Your Life Vision

Your life vision or life mission is where you want to be in 5, 10, 20, or even 30 years. It is your crazy goals, crazy dreams, and the completely unrealistic (but highly exciting) aspirations that you have for yourself. You’ve probably heard the term “if you shoot for the stars you might reach the moon”. Well, your vision is the shooting for the stars type of goals.

If you haven’t created a vision or mission for your life before, then spend a few minutes doing this now. You can always refine it later.

Step 3: Brainstorm Goals

This is where it gets fun! Come up with a list of every single possible goal that you could set yourself for this year, quarter, or month. However, before you start brainstorming, you need to know about the two types of goals.

Outcome goals

Outcome goals are about achieving a specific result. This could be making $100,000, losing 20kg in weight, getting a great new job or finding a partner. Most people set outcome goals, so you’re probably already familiar with these.

However, there is one big problem with outcome goals. They are not completely within your control. Sure, you can do things to set the odds in your favor, but you cannot guarantee that you will achieve an outcome goal.

Process Goals

Process goals are completely within your control. They are also known as activity-based goals because they are based on you doing specific things. Process goals are all the steps and things that you would or could do to achieve an outcome goal.

Examples of process goals include working out four times a week, eating a paleo diet five days a week or applying for 10 new jobs per week. Notice how all these goals are within your control.

Set both Outcome AND Process goals

If you only set outcome goals, then you are much more likely to give up when you don’t see any progress. Let’s say you have set yourself the outcome goal to lose 10 kilos of body fat. If after 1 month, you have seen little or no progress, its going to be easy to give up.

However, if you have also set process goals to exercise 4 times a week and eat a special diet, then after a month, you can tick those goals off and feel good, even if you do not see much progress in achieving the outcome goal.

Brainstorm goals in ALL areas of life

It’s important to set goals in all areas of life, so that you feel happy and fulfilled. It also ensures that all your human needs are met. Brainstorm goals for your health, career, money, relationships, family, friends and the spiritual side of your life. Aim for 10 goals for each area of your life.

If you look at unhappy celebrities, its often because they have achieved amazing success in one area of life, but have neglected other aspects of their life, especially their health. So it is important to set goals in all areas of life.

Step 4: Choose the goals to set and achieve

From your list of brainstormed goals, choose the goals that you will set and achieve for this year. Don’t try and do hem all! There is a great saying which is “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything“.

Start by deciding which goals you can eliminate right away. Then decide which goals you will absolutely commit to. This will leave you with some goals that you are not sure about. Keep these goals in for now and we will put them through the desire and belief test.

Desire and Belief Test

So by now, you should have a list of goals that you definitely want to commit to and a few that you are not sure about yet.

Take one of your goals and ask yourself “what is my desire for achieving this goal on a scale of 1 to 10? If you give it a 7 or above, then you have the desire and motivation to achieve it. If it is lower than a 7, then either change the goal to make it more motivating and compelling or scrap it for now.

For the same goal, now ask yourself “On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident and certain am I that I can and will achieve this goal?” This is testing your belief in your ability to achieve this goal. If you give yourself a 7 or above, then you believe that you have the confidence and competence to achieve this goal. If it is lower than a 7, then either change the goal to make it more realistic and believeable or scrap it for now.

Here is an example of how the desire/belief test works. Lets say you have a goal to become a millionaire in 2019. Now, your desire for that could easily be a 10, but your belief might only be a 2. That is NOT a good goal, because you won’t have the belief to put in the work and you’ll give up easily.

So instead, you change the goal to making a 6 figure income during 2019. Now your desire for that might only be a 7. However, the belief in your ability to achieve this goal might also be a 7. By modifying this goal, it now passes the desire and belief test.

Now, repeat the desire and belief test with all your other goals, modifying or scrapping goals as necessary. You will now have a smaller list of goals that have both a desire and belief of 7 or more.

Step 5: Make your goals SMART

By now, you will have a list of goals that have a desire and belief of 7 or more out of 10. For these goals, we are going to put them through the SMART test. SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound.

Let’s apply SMART to the goal of earning $100,000 this year. On the surface, it seems very specific. You can’t get much more specific than a dollar amount. However, is this $100,000 in U.S. dollars or another currency? Is it before or after tax? Is it revenue or profit? So it could be more specific.

Is this goal measurable? Yes, it is. You could easily measure this goal by dividing 100,000 by 12 to obtain a monthly amount that you want to earn. You could then measure this each month to see if you are on track to achieving this goal or not. I would recommend changing the phrase “this year” to “31 December 2019”, as a specific date will be more motivating and compelling.

Is this goal achievable? If you have applied the desire and belief test, then your goal should already be achievable.

Is this goal realistic? This is going to depend on the person, where you are now and the timeframe. For some people earning $100,000 in a year could be very achievable, especially if these people are already earning something close to that. For others, it could take two or three years. To make the goal more realistic, you may need to reduce the goal or lengthen the timeframe. Again, the belief and desire test explained earlier can help you set realistic goals.

Is this goal time-bound? Yes, this goal has been set with a timeframe of this year, so it must be achieved by 31 December this year. For smaller goals, set shorter timeframes such as by the end of a certain month or quarter.

Step 6: Use language to make your goals more compelling

The language that you use when setting goals can have a huge influence on your belief and your motivation to achieve them.

Say “I will”

Don’t say “I want”. For example, “I want to earn $100,000 by 31 December 2019”. Why? Because the words “I want” emphasize to your subconscious mind (and the universe) that you do not have it yet.

Instead, say “I will“. By saying “I will”, you are presupposing and presuming that it will happen. You could also say “I have”, which presupposes that you have it already! For example, I have already earned $100,000 by 31 December 2019. This can work as long as another part of your brain doesn’t say “oh, no you haven’t!”

Include “Easily”

Who wants goals to be hard? Why not tell your subconscious mind that you will easily achieve this goal. For example, “I will easily earn $100,000 by 31 December 2019” Besides easily, you could also include words such as “enjoyable” or “fun”.

Include “Love the process”

You can also add phrases such as “love the process”, “enjoy doing it” or “feel good about it” For example, “I will easily make $100,000 this year and love the process.

Now you can see how the goal of “I will earn $100,000 by 31 December 2019” has turned into “I will easily earn $100,000 by 31 December 2019 and love the process”. Just some subtle language changes can really spice up your goals and increase your belief and motivation to achieve them.

Step 7: Find your Why

Finding your why will boost your desire and motivation to achieve the goal. To find or strengthen your why, ask yourself the following questions.

  1. Why do I want this?
  2. What is the benefit?
  3. What difference is this going to make in my life?

Your answers to these questions can be positive (moving towards pleasure), or negative (moving away from pain). For example, one of your reasons for losing weight could be to have a fit and healthy body. This is a positive reason that will move you towards the pleasure of having a great looking body. Another reason could be to not have diabetes and other health issues later in life. This is a negative reason that is pushing you away from the pain of being ill later in life.

Whether the reasons are moving you towards pleasure or away from pain doesn’t matter. Both can be very motivating. The most important thing is that you identify your reasons, you identify your why.

Step 8: Create a Plan

Creating a plan is especially important with annual goals or six monthly goals. You need a plan to take consistent action and to measure your results. So it’s time to brainstorm once more! This time, brainstorm all the different ways to achieve this goal. What are all the different steps that you could take? Write these all down. In the case of losing weight, there are many different diet choices and exercise regimes that you could follow. Write these all down.

Then apply the 80/20 Pareto principle to each of the ways or steps that you have come up with. So what is the Pareto principle? – It’s simply the concept that 20% of the effort gives you 80% of the results. If you want to become confident in dating and meeting the opposite sex, then you could spend 80% of your time learning how to do this. This might improve your confidence by 20%. Alternatively, you could spend 20% of your time, getting out of your comfort zone and talking to the opposite sex and boost your confidence by 80%.

Often the 20% of effort that gives you the 80% result involves taking action, rather than learning. What would your life be like if you just spen 20% of your time learning about personal development and 80% of your time applying what you have learned? Taking action is often the thing that is going to really help you achieve your goals more quickly.

Step 9: Evaluate your Progress

Check in on a weekly basis to measure the progress you are making towards your goals. Notice what is going well which activities are getting you closer to your goals. Identify any activities that are of little value or are even taking you further away from your goal.

Most people don’t do this, so if you evaluate your progress on a weekly basis, you will already be way ahead of everybody else.

Step 10: Accountability

When you share your goals with someone else, you are far more likely to achieve them. Why? because there is more at stake emotionally. If you don’t achieve the goal or fall short, you will need to explain why to this person. Sharing your goals with another person also means that they can ask you for an update on your progress at any time. This forces you to evaluate your own progress on a regular basis.

When I hired a personal trainer I did much more exercise between sessions. When I regularly had music lessons at school, I also practiced much more between lessons. There is something about being accountable to somebody else that makes you put in the work that you wouldn’t otherwise do.

Rather than choosing to be accountable to one person, you could use social media instead. Share your goals with the world on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. You could even share your weekly progress evaluation on social media as well.

You can also be accountable to me! Simply message me with a list of your goals and I’ll check in with you every couple of months.

Complete a 100 day challenge

To massively speed up the achievement of your goals in 2019, I highly recommend enrolling in the 100 day challenge. This is an amazing program that I do every year. It will really fast track the achievement of your goals so that you achieve in months what most people take years to do!

The 100 day challenge program works so incredibly well because it combines accountability, a weekly evaluation ritual and a daily motivational or inspirational video. This program helps you focus and take action on your goals every day for the whole 100 days. It is amazing what you can achieve in 100 days when you really put your mind to it.

Click here to find out more about the 100 day challenge.

Conclusion

I encourage you to take some time out to complete this goal setting process. It could take you a few hours, but it is so worth it. If you can, find an inspirational place where you can relax, feel good, and get really creative, and then go through this process. I can’t wait to hear about the goals that you come up with, so please do share your goals in the comments below.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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Thank you for reading this article.  I hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul