Tag Archive for: self confidence

We all have goals that we really want to achieve. However, many of us never try or give up too soon because of self-doubt. Self-doubt is thinking you can’t do or achieve something that you eagerly desire.

Everyone has self-doubt. Even the most successful people in the world have it. They, like everybody else, have problems. And anyone facing problems will have an element of self-doubt. I also have self-doubt at times. So far, I’ve delivered around 250 hypnotherapy sessions, but I still sometimes experience the feeling of self-doubt when I see a new client. It’s a human emotion. The only people I can think of that don’t experience self-doubt are those with very high egos, who believe they know it all.

If you are not achieving your goals and feeling stuck, self-doubt might be the reason. However, if you use it constructively, it can help you move forward. What is the opposite of self-doubt? It is self-confidence. I will now show you 12 great ways to help you overcome your self-doubt and gain greater confidence instead.

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1. Believe That You Can Figure It Out

After interviewing many high achievers, Brendon Burchard realized that they had one thing in common. They believed that they could figure out a solution to every problem. With enough time, energy, and information, they could always figure things out.

Think about times when you figured out things you weren’t prepared for. Or solved problems you thought you couldn’t solve. When you remember the times, you figured things out in the past, your level of self-confidence will improve. If you found a way then, you can find a way now. This will help you reduce or even overcome self-doubt.

2. Accept Your Self-Doubt

There can be some truth in your self-doubt. There is always a possibility of failing. Accept that. Then take action anyway! Do it purely for the lesson or experience, no matter what happens. Don’t push that feeling of self-doubt away. Instead, accept it and do it anyway. Feel that self-doubt feeling, and then just let it go.

3. Dump Then Destroy

The conscious mind understands verbal language and self-talk. However, the subconscious mind responds to feelings and emotions. The Dump then Destroy process is a great exercise to satisfy both the conscious and subconscious mind.

How do you do it? First, open a new Word document or grab a journal. Write down all your self-doubt thoughts on a particular situation. Write whatever is bothering you and giving you a feeling of self-doubt. Let your mind go wild and aim for around 750 words.

Once you’ve done that, destroy it! If you wrote them in a Word document, move it to the trash and delete it permanently. If you used a journal or a piece of paper, rip it out, burn it, or enjoy putting it in the bin!

This will give you a cathartic effect. This is a feeling of releasing and letting go of self-doubt. You want that feeling to pour out of yourself so that you no longer feel stuck. Try it and you’ll see that it is a simple and satisfying exercise that will significantly help you to overcome self-doubt.

4. Have Clarity and a Plan

Get clear on what you want. If you don’t have a plan, if you have done little research, or you’re not sure what you need to do, you will have self-doubt. It’s like trying to do a presentation without being prepared. Preparation is very important! So get clear on your goal. Work out the steps and create a plan. This will remove doubts and boost your confidence.

Take some time to do this. Identify the goals, steps, and formulate a plan. This might involve buying a course to learn the steps or finding a mentor to help you. A clear plan or roadmap will massively increase your self-confidence.

5. Filter Out Anything that Makes Self-Doubt Worse

Identify the elements that make your self-doubt worse? Are there people that question what you do, criticize you or put doubt in your mind? Perhaps it’s someone that constantly predicts the bad things that could happen, but never offers a solution.

Remember that their advice is often based on fear. Maybe there is a positive intention behind their advice.  For example, not wanting you to get hurt. Still, their advice is based on their own limitations and fear. If possible, let go of those people or spend less time with them. That’s not always easy, but if you can, and you want to overcome self-doubt, that’s definitely a good thing to do.

What about social media? Do you get self-doubting feelings when you spend time on social media? Maybe you’re seeing super successful people that you feel you can never live up to? Perhaps limiting your time on social media could be helpful as well.

6. Compare Yourself to Who You Want to Be

So many people with self-doubt compare themselves to other people. They look at what other people have or do. The problem is, you don’t know exactly what someone else is thinking or feeling. You don’t know how happy or fulfilled they really are.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to who you want to be. Also compare yourself today with who you were yesterday, or a month ago, or a few years ago. Notice the progress you’re making. It’s much more important to focus on progress and enjoy the journey. And everyone’s journey is different. The things you may need to achieve success could be very different for someone else. The fulfillment and satisfaction you get from that could be very different to another person.

7. Visualize Yourself Succeeding

Are you thinking and imagining how things could go wrong? Maybe you’re imagining yourself messing things up. Instead of that, start visualizing what will happen when you succeed. If you can, spend more time visualizing and focusing on what you want to happen rather than ruminating about what you don’t want. That will make a huge difference. Instead of thinking self-doubtful thoughts, start visualizing how you want things to go.

8. Change Your Physical State

This can be a fantastic way to get some instant relief. Go for a walk or a run; do a workout or some jumping jacks. Get your body moving! That helps release stress. It also puts self-doubt back into its normal place, making it easier to overcome it.

9. Act Now

Hesitation plants seeds of doubt. If you keep hesitating, those seeds of doubt get bigger and more of an issue. So act now if you can. If not, then imagine what your best self would do. Then take action as soon as you can and make corrections as you go along.

Instead of Ready, Aim, Fire. try Ready, Fire, Aim instead. Take action and adjust as you go along. Try it, especially if you’re a perfectionist!

10. Change the Meaning of Past Events

Our brain automatically looks at the past when facing a new experience or a problem. We live today based on what happened in the past. A failure or a difficulty that we experienced earlier will create self-doubt feelings and thoughts in the present. We obviously can’t change the past, but we can change the meaning of past events. Start thinking about them simply as events. Focus on the things you learned from the past that can be useful right now. This could simply be something like, I am never going to do that again.

Also ask yourself, how can I be grateful for this experience and for what I’ve learned from it. This will help you create a different perception and change the meaning of past events.

11. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Your goals, dreams, and the best version of yourself are on the other side of your comfort zone. So what can you do today that is new, uncomfortable, or even scary? If you do it, your self-confidence will improve. Those self-doubt thoughts and feelings will start fading away and you will overcome them.

12. Have a Weekly Evaluation Ritual

We want to change our way of thinking from judging to learning. When you experience self-doubt, your self-talk is often along the lines of:

  • Why did I do this?
  • Why didn’t I do that?

The weekly evaluation ritual helps you change those judging thoughts to learning thoughts. Ask yourself questions like:

  • What did I learn?
  • What went well?
  • Where could I improve?
  • What did I do that made me feel good?
  • What did I do that made me feel a little down?
  • What can I do better next time?

If you ask yourself these questions and do it as a weekly ritual, you’ll change your self-talk from judging and criticizing to learning and evaluating. When you do that, the feelings of disappointment and self-doubt will fade away.

So, these are my 12 ways to help you overcome self-doubt. I hope you found them useful. As always, put them into practice! Try them out on yourself. See which work best for you. And share your experience by leaving a comment below. I’d love to hear how you’re getting on and what helped you overcome your self-doubt the most. 

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Have you ever wondered what the most successful people do? The ones that are truly happy, fulfilled, and prosperous? Well, I reveal this in my 10 Strategies for Your Success eBook. It’s a great read and as a treat for reading this article, it’s yours for free!

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The ability to boost your confidence is essential to success.  Confident people are happier, more fulfilled and have greater levels of self-esteem.  They are less stressed and anxious because they believe that they are better able to handle whatever comes their way.

However, if self-confidence doesn’t come naturally to you, there are many things that you can do to give your confidence a boost.  In this article, I cover ten powerful ways to boost your confidence.

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1. Use Positive Self Talk

Your thoughts affect your feelings which then affect your actions.  So to feel confident, you first need to think confident and positive thoughts.  Repetitive negative thoughts like “I can’t do this” or “This is hard” become negative affirmations.  As you’re unconsciously using negative affirmations anyway, it’s time to switch these to positive affirmations.

To do this effectively, I suggest that you memorize some affirmations, so that you can repeat them immediately as soon as a negative thought arises.  Here are some good ones:

  • I accomplish my daily goals with ease.
  • I am prepared to meet any challenge that comes my way.
  • Confidence radiates from me at all times.

Affirmations can dramatically change your life, one thought at a time!

2. Challenge Yourself

Pushing yourself to do new things will help boost your confidence.  Find things that challenge you and take you out of your comfort zone.  We are able to do far more than we realise.  It’s only when you tackle the challenge head-on that you will get that feeling of elation.  You will also discover that you can do things that you never thought you could.  This will massively boost your confidence.

3. Fake it using Body Language

If you don’t feel confident, you can still take steps to look confident.  Here are some things you can do.

  • Stand (or sit) up straight
  • Hold your head up
  • Have a relaxed open posture
  • Maintain eye contact with other people
  • Smile

The body and mind are linked, so by “faking it” using body language, your thoughts and feelings will start to become more positive.  Try it today.  You’ll be surprised at how effective this is.

4. Set Goals

There is something different about a person that has goals.  They have a sense of purpose and direction. They act decisively as they have a roadmap to follow.  Once you achieve the goals you set, this will boost your confidence as well.  However make sure that your goals are realistic and attainable.  Setting extremely challenging goals that are very hard to achieve could have the opposite effect on your self-confidence.

5. Be Prepared

If you haven’t prepared for a presentation, exam or meeting, then it’s natural to feel unconfident.  This is the minds way of protecting us and rightly so too.  Whilst you could use positive affirmations or body language to look and feel confident, a part of your brain (known as the critical faculty) will continually remind you that you haven’t prepared fully.  This will cause a conflict.

So ensure that you prepare to the best of your ability.  Then however the presentation, meeting or exam goes, you will know that you have done your best.  This in itself will boost your confidence and reduce stress and anxiety.

6. Be Grateful

We naturally tend to focus on what is not working in our lives.  This is not a good way to boost your confidence.  Take a few minutes each day to pay attention to the things that went well.  Give yourself a pat on the back for the things that you are good at.

Here is a wonderful quick reflective exercise that you can do at the end of each day.

  • Identify 3 things that went really well for you today.
  • Notice 3 things that you are grateful for today.
  • List 3 things that you would do differently or better next time.

7. Speak More Slowly

People that lack confidence often speak more quickly, especially when talking to people in authority. Subconsciously, the person feels that he or she isn’t worth listening to.  To counteract that, they speak more quickly, so that they are not wasting the other person’s time.  So consciously speak more slowly to people in authority.  This will slow down your thinking, keep you in the present and start to increase feelings of confidence.

Also notice how highly confident people speak.  What is the pace of their speech?  What specific words or phrases are they using?  Noticing what other people say gives you a good idea of how they are thinking.

8. Focus on Solutions

A wonderful way to boost your confidence is to focus on solutions. So how do you do that?  When you notice yourself thinking something that is negative, ask a question that will help you find a solution.  Here are some examples:

  • This is far too hard for me – How can I make it easier?
  • I can’t seem to lose this weight – What new things could I try?
  • I hate my job – What things can I do today to love my job or find a better job?

We often get stuck in a negative mode of thinking.  Simply asking yourself questions that help you focus on solutions will give you a confidence boost.  Why? – because you have given yourself new choices, new solutions and a sense of personal control over the situation.

9.  Do Something that you have been putting off

Things that have been on your “to do” list for weeks or months can really sap your confidence and energy.  Choose one of these items and do it first thing in the morning.  Notice how it feels to get that job out of the way and off your mind.  It feels good right?

10. Embrace Uncertainty

Confidence comes when you have certainty over the outcome.  When you know that you have the knowledge, skills and abilities to make something happen, you will be 100% confident.

However in many situations, having the knowledge, skills and ability does not always mean that you will achieve the outcome.  There are other factors at play, such as interactions with other people.

What you can do is be 100% confident that you will do your best, irrespective of the outcome.  This will allow you to let go of predicting the outcome and base your confidence on the fact that you will do your best, then notice what happens and be okay with that.   So your now basing your feelings of confidence on something that is now within your control.  This is a great way to boost your confidence.

Now is the time to apply these 10 powerful ways to boost your confidence and notice your self-confidence skyrocket!

Click the button below to download my FREE 100% Confidence Hypnosis MP3.  This will really help you develop the new kind of confidence that I talk about in this article and video.

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