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Have you ever wondered which limiting beliefs hold you back?

The ones that prevent you from having the wealth, health, love, and happiness you desire. What is the top list of limiting beliefs that hold most people back?

In this article, I share my top list of limiting beliefs. I’ll cover the 12 most important ones and explain each of them in turn.  I’ll also give you some tips, techniques and strategies to help you change them.

Some of my list of limiting beliefs are core beliefs that apply to almost all areas of life. Others are more specific to health, relationships, or money. But first, I will introduce you to 3 categories of limiting or unhelpful beliefs:

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The 3 Types of Limiting and Unhelpful Beliefs

Before getting into my limiting beliefs list, I want to cover the differences between limiting beliefs and unhelpful beliefs. Limiting beliefs are usually negative. Unhelpful beliefs are often positive or neutral, but can result in negative consequences or get you into trouble.

Both limiting and unhelpful beliefs can be about you, others or the world in general. Here are some examples.

1. Limiting beliefs about you.

These could include:

  • I’m a loser.
  • I’m a failure.
  • I’m not liked or popular.
  • I’m not good enough.
  • I’m not worthy enough.

2. Limiting beliefs about others.

These could include:

  • Other people are untrustworthy.
  • Other people are manipulative.
  • Other people are always against me.

3. Limiting beliefs about the world in general.

These might include:

  • The world is too competitive.
  • Too many terrible things are happening in the world.

As mentioned earlier, believing something positive can sometimes get you into trouble. It depends on whether that positive or neutral belief is helpful or unhelpful.

Here are some examples of positive beliefs that could have unhelpful or negative consequences.

1. Unhelpful beliefs about you.

Positive, but unhelpful beliefs often arise when your level of confidence is higher than your level of competence. 

Imagine you are a new therapist. You’ve just completed your training. You’re excited and super confident that you can help anyone that comes through your door. However, you have very limited experience and your initial training is unlikely to be sufficient to help everyone.

Your high confidence encourages you to use techniques and processes that may not be appropriate for some clients. It might even make things worse!

2. Unhelpful beliefs about other people.

If you believe that everyone is trustworthy and kind, you might get walked over or ripped off. Sadly, there are people that are not trustworthy and kind. So it’s important to accept this and develop beliefs that reflect the reality of life.

3. Unhelpful beliefs about the world. 

This is believing that the world is perfect, that everything is fine and will work out okay. If everyone held this belief, we would ignore the world’s problems and take no action to solve them. I personally believe that this would have devastating consequences!

So, you can see that even positive beliefs can be unhelpful and cause harm. So besides watching out for limiting beliefs, keep a look-out for unhelpful beliefs too.

The Top 12 Limiting Beliefs

I will now share my list of 12 limiting beliefs that hold most people back.

1. It’s hard to change.

I see this all the time in the personal development world. Maybe you know someone that reads loads of self-help books, attends lots of seminars. Someone that is a “seminar junky”, that has invested a small fortune in personal development, but has little or nothing to show for it.  Nothing has changed in their life or about them as a person.

So why is this? It’s because they have a core belief along the lines of “It’s hard to change” or “I can’t change”. Therefore, they take little or no action. They don’t consistently apply what they’ve learned. They get fired up with brilliant ideas, but after that, nothing changes.

Many years ago, I was a member of a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) group in London. I saw many people there that embodied all the principles, changed as a person, and changed their lives. But I also saw other people that didn’t change. I asked myself, “Why is that?” Well, I now know that it’s because of having a core belief that it’s hard to change.

This limiting belief also manifests itself in business. I reckon it’s the reason people stay in the same career for many years. Or why a business stays static and doesn’t grow. It’s that unconscious core belief that it’s too hard to change.

It also applies to health. Perhaps you know someone that is overweight or has a chronic health condition that’s been going on for years. It’s because they believe they can’t change it or that it’s too hard or painful to change. As a result, the person takes little or no action.

Take Action

What’s the solution? It’s simple! Take lots of action, even if you don’t believe it will help. Things change when you take action! They have to. Sometimes it can take a while, but they will change.

Seeing positive changes from taking action will increase the belief that you can change. You’ll realize it’s easier than you thought. This creates a virtuous circle where you see change happening, which increases your belief and this fuels greater action.

Related Article: How to Change the Four Core Beliefs that Keep you Stuck

2. I don’t have enough …..

This is a very common limiting belief. Here are some examples:

  • I don’t have enough time.
  • I don’t have enough money.
  • I don’t have enough education.
  • I don’t have enough skills.
  • I don’t have enough experience.
  • I don’t have enough friends.
  • I don’t have enough contacts.
  • I don’t have enough connections.

I wonder which of these apply to you?

Let’s delve into the more common ones in greater detail.

I don’t have enough time.

We all have 24 hours in a day. We all have the same amount of time. What do you currently spend your time on? What could you do less of or stop altogether to give you more time for those important life-changing activities?

I don’t have enough money.

Identify how you currently spend money. Where does it go? Are there ways to save money, so you can put it towards something that’s important to you? Sometimes, it can take time to save money, but with strong intention and focus, you can do it.

I don’t have enough education, skills, or experience.

The best way to banish these limiting beliefs is to disprove them! That’s what I did. Back in the year 2000, I changed my career and became an IT Trainer. I decided to apply for IT training jobs for 3 months even though I had no relevant skills or experience. I had some public speaking skills, but nothing in the technology area.

I applied for many jobs. After 6 weeks, I got a marvellous job as an IT trainer in a law firm.  If I hadn’t landed an IT training job within 3 months, then I would have obtained a qualification. However, I didn’t want to invest the time or money in a qualification if I could avoid it!

If you believe that you don’t have enough skills or experience, give yourself 3 months to prove yourself wrong. Only after that time, invest in gaining qualifications or additional skills and experience. You could save yourself unnecessary time and expense.

Also look for success stories. People that achieved what you desire and didn’t have the skills you believe are necessary. Look for contrary evidence. This is evidence that goes against your limiting belief and disproves it. This is an excellent way to deal with any limiting belief.

3. I am not ….. enough.

The next one on my list of limiting beliefs is similar to the previous one. However, it’s not about the lack of external things like time, money or qualifications. Instead, it’s more about a lack of internal qualities or personality traits.

Here are some examples.

  • I am not good enough.
  • I am not smart enough.
  • I am not intelligent enough.

A great question to ask is “How do I know?” This is a tough question to answer because, in reality, you don’t know. You don’t know that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or intelligent enough.

Think about the qualities you have. Maybe you are highly motivated, great with people or a deep thinker. Ask yourself, “What skills or qualities do I have that are important for achieving success?” This is a superb way to knock out this limiting belief.

4. I am not worth it.

This limiting belief causes issues in many areas of life. It makes it harder to ask for a pay rise or charge what you feel your services are worth.  It’s behind feeling unworthy of love or to a particular person. This can negatively influence your love life.

It can lead to not being assertive. Not asking for what you want or need in life. It can cause you to procrastinate and not take action. You might avoid dating or asking for a pay rise. So, taking action is a super way to smash this limiting belief! 

Another brilliant way is to write down all your strengths and the things you’re good at. Focus on what you can give to others. Remember that everyone has unique skills, qualities, and personality traits that are valuable to other people.

With this limiting belief, go back to childhood, and identify where it came from. Sometimes it comes from a childhood experience. Once you know what that is, you can reframe it and that can help you overcome this limiting belief.

5. There is never enough money.

I included this on my list of limiting beliefs as it applied to me for many years. When I was a child, my parents were both teachers. They didn’t have a lot of money and their bank account was always a little overdrawn by the end of the month. They would do extra teaching in the evenings to bring in more money.

As a child, I formed a belief that there was never enough money to go around. That continued into my student days. The first couple of years in employment were a little better. However, I was still inexperienced and on a low salary.

Many aspects of life (especially when you’re younger) can easily support a limiting belief that there’s never enough money. However, when you hold this belief, you’re unlikely to do anything to change it.

Instead, you’ll keep doing what you’re doing. You might earn more money by getting a promotion, but that’s not guaranteed. And often comes with longer hours.

Instead, be creative and look for alternative and proactive ways to become more valuable and earn more money. It comes down to mindset.

In reality, there is an abundance of money. It’s just wrongly distributed. I have some very wealthy hypnotherapy clients. I could charge them double and they would happily pay. So it’s about getting a slice of the money that they already have.

Think about how you can offer more value. Embrace the belief that there is enough money to go round. When you do that, you’ll notice different opportunities and ways to make money.

6. I will never find love.

On my list of limiting beliefs, this one was very strong in my 20s. For women, I came across as Mr. Nice Guy and was put in the “friend zone.” I found it very difficult to find a romantic partner. This is one reason I got into personal development. I wanted to improve my social confidence and be more comfortable on dates. I believed there were strategies that other people used to get the results I desired. I wanted to learn and apply these, so I could meet the right person.

The reality is that there is someone, in fact, many people, that will love you. It’s a case of becoming a better version of yourself, taking action, going on dates, and enjoying the journey. Also, letting go of feelings of frustration or desperation is also helpful. These were the things I did that helped me find my perfect partner.

7. All the good ones are taken or gay.

I have heard this one so many times, especially from women. Challenge this limiting belief by asking “How do I know that?” You’ll find this question very difficult to answer. In reality, especially if you live in a larger town or city, there are new people becoming available all the time. They either move into the area, or separate from existing relationships.

This limiting belief is an excuse to not take action. If you believe that all the good ones are taken or that no one is available, then you’re unlikely to even look for dates! It seems pointless.

The solution is to take action! Prove that this limiting belief is wrong for you. Do you see a common theme appearing here?  Taking action is key to smashing many of these top limiting beliefs.

8. It’s difficult to make money doing something you love.

This can be true to a point. It often requires a lot of hard work over an extended period to make a good income doing what you love. But it’s definitely achievable. I’ll give you a few examples to expand your awareness of what is possible.

Examples of people doing what they love

A few years ago, my wife and I traveled to Darwin, the top end of Australia. We both love wildlife and wanted to go on a birding safari with a local birding expert. Someone that could find the unusual birds that would be virtually impossible for us to find ourselves in the brief time we had there. He charged $200 per person, so $400 for both of us. That’s good money for a day doing what you love. He had the expertise, provided incredible value, and we were willing to pay for that. It was worth every cent!

A train enthusiast in the UK created a website that helps people plan rail journeys around the world. He goes into incredible detail, including the exact seat number to get the best view of the scenery.  On many trains, the seats don’t always line up with the windows, so this is very useful to know. He makes good money through sponsorships, advertising and perhaps some affiliate commissions when people book via his recommended websites.  To check him out, go to seat61.com.

In Australia, a person who loves bushwalking, hiking and nature created a website that provides details of hundreds of different bush walks and hikes. His directions are very thorough with maps that you can print out and take with you. He also has a mobile app that you can download to find walks on the go. He makes money through sponsorship from local outdoor and hiking shops, from people purchasing the mobile app and from advertising. To see what he does, go to wildwalks.com

It’s not all good though

Even when you make good money doing something you love, there will be parts of your job or business that you don’t enjoy. If you’re a therapist, you may not enjoy marketing your services or writing up session notes. If you’re an actor, you may need to do commercials (which pay a lot better) to pay the bills and allow you to do other acting work that you love. Or accounting and bookkeeping which no one enjoys doing, except perhaps accountants! Sometimes it’s necessary to do a few things that you don’t enjoy, even when you do what you love for a living.

You want to be flexible and creative, but it’s certainly possible to make a good income doing something you love.

9. Making money is hard.

This is important on my list of limiting beliefs. It’s similar to “There is never enough money”, that I mentioned earlier and often comes from our childhood too. If your parents worked hard and long hours to make ends meet, it can reinforce the belief that making money is hard. Then in your 20s when you start working, you naturally take on the belief that making money is hard.

As a student, you won’t have much money. When you find a job, your wage will be low because you lack experience. You probably have student debt too. You may be in your early 30s before things change.

Perhaps some of your friends have become lawyers or doctors and are working incredibly long hours. It seems like everything in our culture and environment supports the belief that making money is hard.

Whilst working hard plays a part, working smart and doing the right things is more important. So how do you do that?

Understand the difference between passive and active income.

Active income is spending time to earn money. That’s an income from a typical job or a business. You put a certain amount of time in, and you get a certain amount of money back.

How do you make more money? You increase your value by getting promoted or by providing a higher quality service that allows you to charge more. The more value you provide, the more you can charge. There may still be an upper limit to what you can charge because of what people will pay.

Passive income is not directly dependent on your time. Examples include rental income from properties or income from investments. Many online businesses generate passive income because the internet is doing a lot of the work for you. 

With all these passive income examples, there is still time invested in setting these up.  However, the key difference is that you can take a break and the money will continue to come in.

I encourage you to find wealthy people that don’t work very hard. They definitely exist. I know some of them! Look out for contrary evidence. It’s out there! You just need to look for it.

Related Article: Wealth Mindset | The 8 Factors That Predict How Wealthy You Will Be

10. I have little or no control over my health.

There is overwhelming evidence that what you eat, how much you exercise, the quantity and quality of your sleep, and how well you deal with stress can have a dramatic effect on your health. Most chronic diseases can be avoided by focusing on these 4 aspects of your health.

One reason people believe they have no control is because health changes take time. It takes several months of eating healthily and exercising regularly to notice the benefits. However, many people are inconsistent or they give up too soon, before they see any noticeable or meaningful results.

Related Article: 12 Great Ways to Improve Your Health and Reduce the Risks of Getting Chronic Diseases

11. I am addicted to …..

Examples of this limiting belief include being addicted to a certain food, drink, drug or even a person.

Behind this limiting belief is the idea that you need a certain external thing to cope with stress, life’s problems, or pain. In reality, you are rarely addicted to something. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you’re on a 12 hour flight. You’re a smoker and believe you are addicted to cigarettes. However, you know that you can’t smoke on a plane, so you don’t think about it. You forget about it. Once 12 hours has gone past, and the plane is about to land, you may think about having a smoke.

Let’s say that next to you is a heroin addict. Would that heroin addict be able to think about not having their heroin fix for 12 hours? Highly unlikely. Or what about someone with Type 1 Diabetes? Would they be able to think about not having their insulin injection for 12 hours? Probably not. These are real addictions. In most other cases, it’s just a habit that you believe is an addiction.

I also encourage you to remove your sense of identity from the habit. When you say things like, “I am an emotional eater”, or “I am an alcoholic”, you make the habit part of your identity.

Think about all the other significant things that you are. Maybe you’re a great parent, salesperson, accountant, friend, or spouse. When you notice your other identities, this habit will be a far smaller part of who you really are.

Related Article: How to Overcome Any Addiction

12. Only after I have ….. I’ll be happy. 

This is the last one of my list of limiting beliefs. It can include things like:

  • Only after I have found my soul mate, I will be happy.
  • Only after I get promoted, I will be happy.
  • Only after I earn a 6-figure salary, I will be happy.

The problem with this limiting belief is it prevents you from being happy right now. Remember that happiness is ultimately a feeling. Of course, finding your soul mate or earning a 6-figure salary will make you happy. However, if it becomes familiar and you take it for granted, your level of happiness will reduce over time.

This is called the Law of Familiarity. When you experience anything for enough time, it becomes familiar. You take it for granted and you appreciate it less.

So to be happy, focus on the good in your life, and don’t compare yourself with other people. Be grateful for what you already have and enjoy the small things in your relationship and in life too. Also, develop healthy habits. Eat well, exercise regularly, and get plenty of sleep. Your body will appreciate you for that. You’ll feel better, have more energy and be naturally happier.

To Conclude

This was my list of 12 limiting beliefs that prevent you from living a happy and successful life. I hope you related to my examples and feel empowered to take action to smash the limiting beliefs that are holding you back.

Choose a limiting belief that is keeping you stuck, challenge it, change the meaning of it and take action to disprove it.  You’ll be glad you did!

Finally, I encourage you to read my related article on how to permanently change your limiting beliefs.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

Have you ever wondered what the most successful people do? The ones that are truly happy, fulfilled and prosperous? Well, I reveal this in my 10 Strategies for Your Success eBook. It’s a great read and as a treat for reading this article, it’s yours for free!

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Thank you for reading this article.  I hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

What do you think holds you back in life? Is it a lack of skill or ability?  More often than not, it is a limiting belief.  In this article, I’m going to cover how to identify and change limiting beliefs, so that you can move forward with your life.

Limiting beliefs often develop in childhood.  They suited us then, but as we become adults, these beliefs start to get in our way and hamper our progress.  This is why it is so important to learn how to change limiting beliefs that now hold you back.

In this article, I cover a 9-step process to help you change limiting beliefs in all areas of life.  This is a very easy and structured process that you can apply to any belief that you feel limits you in some way.

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What Are Beliefs?

Beliefs are psychological rules that influence our thoughts and filter our experience of reality. We filter information by deleting, distorting, and generalizing things about our experience.

Beliefs are assumptions about ourselves and other people. They are also our expectations of how the world should be. They help us understand and make sense of the world by providing meaning and certainty.

Beliefs are our interpretation of the things we see, feel, hear, taste, or smell. They are not facts, so they are not true or false. However, they can be mistaken as facts if deeply rooted. Beliefs are conclusions drawn from life experiences, especially those from childhood and younger years.

As we become adults, our life changes, but many of our beliefs don’t change. They start to get in our way. These past beliefs can create limitations on what you believe you can do right now.

How Are Beliefs Created?

Beliefs are created and then ingrained due to repeated situations or events. At first, they are just thoughts. They are based on facts, evidence, reference experiences, or other people.

Over time, thoughts become opinions. You keep thinking about them repetitively and keep taking the same action.

Opinions then turn into beliefs. Beliefs are stronger, more stable, and more robust than opinions.

Beliefs can then turn into convictions. They become so ingrained that they can’t be changed even if all the evidence is to the contrary.

A Baby Elephant and a Flee

I’m now going to give you two examples of how a belief created earlier in life becomes less useful later on.

In India, baby elephants are tied to stumps of trees by ropes. The baby elephant realizes it’s bound to the tree. It can’t move much, so it doesn’t. Then the baby elephant grows. This grown elephant has the strength to take the tree stump down easily. Or break the rope. But it doesn’t because it believes it can’t.

Another example is the flea experiment. A flea is put in a jar with the lid off. Naturally, it jumps out of the jar. It is put back into the jar, but this time, with the lid on. The flea jumps and hits the top. That hurts, so it jolts back down. Over time, it starts jumping less high because it doesn’t want the pain of hitting the lid.

When the lid is taken off, the flea keeps jumping but not quite to the top of the jar. It associates pain with jumping higher. So, it jumps to the height where it feels comfortable. The flea can jump out of that jar anytime and become free. But it won’t because it doesn’t believe it can.

Remove The Emotional Superglue

In both examples, the belief created was useful at first. And it was supported by relevant evidence. There were also some emotions involved, especially in the case of the flea. Hitting the top of the lid was an uncomfortable feeling. So, to break a limiting belief, the first step is to get rid of any emotions.

Imagine a negative belief is like a tabletop. Its legs represent experiences and evidence that back up that belief. The superglue holding those table legs to the tabletop represents the emotions. So to change limiting beliefs, you need to remove the emotional superglue. Then knock out the legs (the evidence that formed the belief). The table will then fall over.

The 9 Step Process to Change Limiting Beliefs

Now, I’m going to cover my 9-step process to help you change a limiting belief.

1. Identify the Limiting Belief

The limiting belief could be an “I am” statement. For example,

  • I am disorganized.
  • I am bad at public speaking.
  • I am a procrastinator.

It could also be about the world in general. For example,

  • I’ll never be able to afford to buy a house.
  • It’s so competitive I can’t keep up.

Remember, these beliefs are not true or false. They’re just helpful or unhelpful. 

2. Examine the Belief

Create a list of what is helpful and not helpful about this belief. Then decide if that belief helps you or is more of a hindrance to your life.

Let’s use exercising as an example. I’m bad at working out and keeping fit.

What is helpful about this belief?

  • It can help me avoid pain and discomfort.
  • Instead of exercising, I could do other useful things.

What is unhelpful about this belief?

  • If I don’t work out, I could get sick later in life.
  • Working out could give me more energy.
  • I could get more things done.
  • I used to be bad at lots of things, but I’ve improved with practice.

Based on the above evidence, decide whether that belief is worth changing or not.

3. Identify the Core Belief Behind It

Behind every belief, there is a fundamental core belief. Here are the main core beliefs.

  • I am not good enough.
  • I am not worthy enough.
  • I don’t deserve this.
  • The world is not a safe place for me.
  • I am powerless.
  • Love and relationships equal pain.

I wonder which of these core beliefs could be behind your limiting belief? By identifying the limiting core belief, you can work directly to change the core belief that drives this and other limiting beliefs. This can be very powerful and enables you to smash other limiting beliefs at the same time.

In the case of my exercise example, the core belief is probably something like I’m not good enough. So, I’m bad at working out and keeping fit because I’m not good enough.

4. Choose a More Useful Belief

A key step to change limiting beliefs is to identify a more useful belief. This is often the opposite of the old limiting belief. Also include the opposite core belief as well. These would be:

  • I am good enough.
  • I am worthy enough.
  • I deserve this.
  • The world is a safe place for me.
  • I am powerful and can influence my world.
  • Love and relationships equal pleasure.

Here are some examples of new empowering beliefs that also incorporate a new positive core belief.

  • I can find a partner that is perfect for me and have a pleasurable and happy relationship. 
  • I deserve to earn as much as I want and I have the mindset, skills and abilities to do that.
  • I am powerful and can influence my world by making small changes every day.

5. Identify The Emotional and Other Payoffs

We usually have some emotional benefits in keeping the limiting belief. These hold the limiting belief in place.

I Can’t Make Money

Let’s take the belief I can’t make more money and become rich, as an example. The emotional benefits or payoffs could be:

  • I can commiserate with friends who also say that they are poor.
  • I can give up trying to make more money and have an easy life instead.
  • I can avoid the extra perceived stress of becoming rich.

I Can’t Talk to the Opposite Sex

What about the limiting belief I can’t talk to the opposite sex? Some of the emotional payoffs could be:

  • I can enjoy going out with my mates.
  • I don’t need to embarrass myself again.
  • I can avoid the complications of being in a relationship.

I’m Bad at Exercise

For the example of being bad at exercise and fitness, some of the emotional benefits could be:

  • It feels comfortable not doing it.
  • I don’t have to put in the work and experience the pain.
  • I don’t need to worry about accidentally injuring myself.

6. Decide If the Emotional Payoff Is Still Worth It

Look at the emotional payoffs that you’ve identified in step 5. Decide whether the limiting belief is worth keeping. If it is, that’s fine. You can stay with that belief.

But if you decide that it’s not, then it’s time to change that belief right now. The act of deciding will start to dissolve that emotional superglue that’s keeping the limiting belief in place.

7. Reframe Existing Evidence

Remember, a belief is our best interpretation based on the evidence we had at the time. But things change. So it’s time to look at the evidence and interpret it in a new way.

Play devil’s advocate! Go and find a different meaning to the existing evidence.

Money Example

Here are some reframes for the money example.

  • Commiserating with friends who are also poor is going to get boring after a while, and it won’t help me.
  • Having an easy life could be nice, but I would never feel truly happy. I would have this nagging doubt in my mind that I could have achieved more.
  • Having a lot of money makes life so much easier.

You can see how I’m reframing the existing evidence here and giving it a new meaning.

Exercise Example

Let’s reframe the evidence around a limiting belief of exercise.

  • If I take things steadily and sensibly, the risk of injuring myself is minimal.
  • I could hurt myself more in the long term by not being active.
  • Anything new feels uncomfortable. Doing what’s uncomfortable builds up mental and physical resilience, and will help me reduce stress.

8. Find New Evidence to Support the New Belief

We’ve already reframed existing evidence. Now we’re going to look for new evidence.

Beliefs focus your mind on certain things. You ignore other evidence that does not match that belief. For instance, if you believe you’re unattractive, you’re more likely to notice funny looks from others. You’re more likely to look at the bits that you don’t like in the mirror. You’re more likely to ignore the smiles, greetings, and compliments. Or you’ll discount them as not relevant. You filter out any information that’s not in line with that limiting belief. This is why limiting beliefs tend to get worse over time.

You have to find new evidence to prove that the old evidence and old beliefs are wrong. You have to knock out those table legs that are behind the limiting belief. Go hunting for new proof and new evidence. Google it, read books, articles, find information that supports that new belief. They’re going to be new legs for the table of your new belief.

Money Example

Let’s take the example of I can earn as much as I want to. New evidence could be:

  • There are people out there with less intelligence, knowledge, and experience that make more money than me.
  • There are plenty of rich people out there that are happy and relaxed.

Exercise Example

In the exercise example, my new belief is exercise is a skill that I can get good at, enjoy, and reap the health benefits. New evidence to support that belief could include:

  • There are people in far worse health than me that have massively improved their health by exercising regularly.
  • All the successful people that I know do regular physical activity and make it a priority in their life. So, to be successful, I need to be physically active.

9. Use Affirmations Correctly

The final step to change limiting beliefs involves using affirmations correctly. If the affirmation is not believable, you’re going to get a conflict. So it’s good to use stepping-stone affirmations. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say that you want to change the belief that you don’t deserve success. You decide to replace this with I deserve to be successful. You keep saying this to yourself over and over again. But something happens that you didn’t expect. You experienced some emotional resistance. Why? Because the affirmation was not believable. It was too much the opposite of the old belief.

The solution is to use stepping-stone affirmations. For example, I want to feel that I deserve to become a good mom, dad, tennis player, or whatever you want. Or, when I do my best, the success that I feel I deserve is on its way. I am putting it under my control.

Once you say those affirmations often enough, you get to a point where you can say, I deserve to be successful. You feel that congruently in your body.

Let’s go back to my exercise example. Stepping-stone affirmations could be, every day, I get a little bit better with my exercise routine. Or, the more I exercise, the more I notice improvements to my health.

Take Action!

I hope you found this article on how to change your limiting beliefs useful. Now, identify one, two, or three limiting beliefs you want to change, and go through all these steps yourself. It’s one thing to know something, but it’s much better to do it and experience it. I wish you luck in changing your limiting beliefs and making your life better!

The inspiration and much of the information for this article came from a great YouTube video on Changing Beliefs by Teal Swan. Feel free to watch this video here.

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Paul

In this blog post, I’m going to talk about how to change the four core beliefs that keep you stuck.

What are the four core beliefs that keep you stuck?

1. I’m not good enough

This is a very common core belief to have. Other variations to this include “I am not worthy enough” or “I don’t deserve this“. When you have this core belief (which is often unconscious),  you’ll find that you often sabotage yourself.  You don’t take the steps to achieve your goals and dreams because you don’t feel you’re worthy of it or don’t feel you’re good enough.

It also translates into money as well. You might apply for jobs with a lower salary because you feel you’re not worthy of anything more. This belief could affect how you negotiate salaries or promotions.  So if you have issues with money, it will often come down to the belief of I’m not good enough or not worthy enough. Same applies if you’re self-employed.  Perhaps you’re uncomfortable charging a certain amount for your services, even though that’s the market rate for your profession.

2. The world is not a safe place for me.

This core belief can manifest itself in a number of ways.  Sometimes specific fears or phobias can arise from this. Or it’s a reluctance to go out and try new things, to get out of your comfort zone. However, if you believe that the world is not safe, this is going to affect the things that you do in your life.

3. I am powerless.

Now, this could be feeling powerless to change, feeling that you have no power over your life circumstances or over what happens to you. This can be a challenging belief if you’re into personal development or self-help.  You go to seminars, read books, watch videos, but then struggle to apply the information to your life consistently.  If you have this belief that you can’t change anyway, then you’re not likely to take the steps that are proven to work and give you the changes that you want.

Having the belief that I am powerless also means that you don’t take responsibility for yourself. Instead, you blame other people or other situations for the way your life is at the moment.

4. Love and relationships = pain

If you unconsciously believe that love and relationships = pain, then you might attract abusive or difficult partners or people into your life.  People that will make you unhappy. Or you end up lonely because you just don’t go out and meet people because you believe inside that relationships are going to cause pain.

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What happens if you don’t address these core beliefs

If you don’t address these four core beliefs, then affirmations, visualizations or positive thinking will either not work or be a temporary fix.

You come up with a positive idea or affirmation.  It’s something you want, it’s stated in the positive and achieving it makes you happy and fulfilled.  It all makes logical sense to your conscious mind.

However, another part of your mind looks at your core beliefs and thinks that it isn’t positive. A fear or threat based emotion challenges that positive idea. It seems scary and what if it all went wrong. That part of your mind is simply trying to protect you and keep you safe.

So when you say an affirmation or think of an idea that conflicts with one of your core beliefs, you’ll either get an internal voice that says something like, “you can’t do that”, “this is not going to work for you”. Alternatively, you might get some kind of uncomfortable feeling, perhaps in the stomach.

Related Article: How to Permanently Change Limiting Beliefs

Questioning the Resistance

So the first thing I recommend you do is question that resistance. Do this by asking yourself the following questions:

  • What am I thinking right now?
  • What am I feeling right now?
  • What must I be believing to have this feeling?

What these questions do is take you to the next layer of your beliefs. The more you question those beliefs, the sooner you’ll get to the core beliefs that I was talking about earlier. It’s like peeling an onion, the more you peel it, the closer you get to the core.

3 Ways to Change your Core Beliefs

Here are three methods or techniques that will help you change your core beliefs.

Suspend Belief Statement

The suspend belief statement allows your mind to park your current reality for a little while, which then allows your new ideas to sink in without conflict.

Here is an example of a suspend belief statement.

For the next few minutes, I will momentarily suspend what I believe in this area and willfully accept the belief that I want. During this time, my desire and belief will be one. There will be no conflict because I do this willingly. For this time, I will completely alter my old beliefs. I will act as if the belief I want were mine completely.

The original statement (which I’ve modified a little) came from a book called “The Nature of Personal Reality” by Jane Roberts.  This book is well worth a read.

For me, this statement made all the difference between affirmations that work and affirmations that don’t. What you are doing is suspending your current beliefs for a few moments, whilst you willfully accept the belief that you want, as if it’s completely yours right now. There is no conflict with what I normally think, because I’m going to pretend that all those thoughts don’t exist just for now.

The important factor here is that you have to consciously, deliberately and willingly suspend your normal reality for a moment. Then willfully accept some new ideas as if they’re already true now, not at some point in the future. Right now!

Create Affirmations that address some or all of the four core beliefs.

The second process (which I recommend doing after the first process above) is to incorporate affirmations that address some or all of these four core beliefs. Here are positive affirmations that are the opposite of the four negative core beliefs outlined earlier.

  1. I am good enough or I am worthy enough or I do deserve this.
  2. The world is a safe place for me.
  3. I am powerful and can influence my world. This is being powerful within yourself, rather than power over other people.
  4. Love and relationships equal pleasure.

What I recommend is to start saying these to yourself. When you say these, you may notice any kind of inner resistance.  This might be negative self-talk or an uncomfortable feeling.   If you notice any resistance, then modify these statements to replace the word “am” with the word “want” and then “can“.

Example of positive core belief affirmations using the word”want”

  1. I want to be good enough or I want to be worthy enough or I want to be able to deserve this.
  2. I want the world to be a safe place for me.
  3. I want to be powerful and able to influence my world.
  4. I want love and relationships to equal pleasure.

When you use “want” instead of “am”,  you will notice that your mind will be able to accept the affirmations more easily with less resistance.  Your conscious mind will pick up on the fact that you haven’t got this right now.  However, your unconscious mind will still pick up on the core idea of being good enough, the world being a safe place, being able to influence your world and relationships being pleasurable.

As your mind accepts these “want” statements and you notice little or no resistance, then you can then move on to “can” statements.

Example of positive core belief affirmations using “can”

  1.  I can be good enough or worthy enough or deserve this.
  2. The world can be a safe place for me.
  3. I can be powerful and able to influence my world.
  4. Love and relationships can equal pleasure.

Once you feel comfortable with the “can” statements, you can then use the “am” statements that I covered earlier. You can also replace “am” with “want” or “can”  with your other affirmations as well, so give it a go.

Related Article: How to Create Affirmations That Work Extremely Effectively

Using Emotion

The third part of the process is using emotions in the most effective way.

Think about how exciting the lead up to Christmas can be.  However, when Christmas day arrives, it’s often not quite as exciting as the lead up to it was. Same goes for holidays. During those last few days at work, you get really excited about your forthcoming holiday.  The holiday arrives and you hopefully have a lot of fun, great experiences and enjoy relaxing.  However, have you noticed that after a few days, the holiday starts to feel kind of normal.

That’s the kind of feeling you want to create when saying your affirmations. You want your brain to start thinking of this new experience as normal.  It can still be fulfilling, pleasurable and you can feel grateful for having it.

Creating this “normal” feeling will help you when taking action towards your goals, by transforming that emotional excitement into physical action energy. So you’re putting this energy into achieving the goal and focusing on it.

Other Important Tips

  1. Repeat your affirmations at least once a day for 30 to 40 days.  This may seem like a lot, but if you incorporate it into your morning ritual or morning routine it will become a habit and something that makes you feel good.
  2. Focus on one idea, one affirmation for 15 to 20 seconds.  That is actually quite a long time to focus on one idea. Typically, after 3 or 4 seconds, our brain has wondered to something else. When you focus on one idea for 15 seconds or longer, your brain thinks the idea is important and latches onto it. The affirmation will then take on more meaning in your brain and your own conscious mind will take it more seriously as well.
  3. Say your affirmations out loud when you can. This will really help. When your mind hears what you are saying, it goes in deeper. Repeating affirmations out loud also helps improve your concentration, so you can focus on this one idea for longer.

We unconsciously say affirmations to ourselves every day, hundreds of times a day and they’re often negative!  So you need positive affirmations to counteract these. The affirmation that is repeated most often is the one that’s going be most effective.

If you’re repeating positive affirmations to yourself regularly and are also saying things to yourself like, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m stupid” regularly, and if the negative idea has more emotive force than the first idea,  then the negative affirmation is obviously going to win!

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Thank you for reading this article.  Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul