Everything that you do is consciously or unconsciously driven by one of 6 human needs. These needs motivate and inspire us to take action in positive ways. However, when some of these needs are not met consistently, your mind will unconsciously find ways to satisfy these needs. How your mind does this is not always good for you and can lead to addictions.

Tony Robbins identified these 6 human needs and how they are behind everything that we do. If you have a behavior that you can’t seem to stop, then it is likely that one of these 6 human needs is behind it.

Let’s get into these 6 human needs right now, so that you understand why you do what you do.

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The Top 6 Human Needs Explained

I’ll start by covering the first 4 needs as these are essential to life. You will always take action in ways that fulfill these needs.

1. The Need for Certainty

Everyone craves a need for certainty, safety, security, stability, comfort, control, predictability, and consistency. We like to know what is coming next so we can prepare ourselves accordingly.

We like to seek comfort and avoid the pain of not knowing what is coming next. This need also affects your tolerance for risk. The higher your need for certainty, the fewer risks you’re willing to take. You’ll take fewer risks regarding your career, relationships, investment opportunities or health.

To meet the need for certainty, you might prioritize financial security over other things in life. You may choose to watch the same movie multiple times because you know the plot and this gives you a sense of certainty. You might choose the same holiday destination and stay at the same hotel or apartment.

Other ways to meet the need for certainty include working for the same company for many years or staying with the same partner for life.

The need for certainty can also be met in negative ways. These include eating or drinking excessively, smoking, taking recreational drugs or trying to control other people to achieve an emotional need.

You might enjoy the predictability of a dysfunctional relationship or toxic work environment, even though you know its not good for you in the long term.

2. The Need for Uncertainty

This is the need for surprise, variety, challenge, excitement, adventure, change, and even chaos. It’s the complete opposite of the first need.

Do you like surprises? – I’m guessing the answer is “yes”

We love surprises, but only if they are positive and make us feel good. However, what if the surprise is a problem or unexpected challenge? What if it’s an upset, something you didn’t expect or want in your life? That changes things a little, right?

Unexpected challenges are useful and important too. They stretch you, grow your character and develop mental toughness.

Positive or neutral ways to meet the need for uncertainty include watching or playing competitive sports. Why? because we don’t know what the outcome will be.

The need for uncertainty could also be achieved by taking calculated risks towards your goals in life or by taking part in adrenaline sports.

Ultimately, you could meet this need by going on exciting trips or holidays. You may enjoy visiting various regions of the world, staying in different places and connecting with a wide variety of people.

The need for certainty and uncertainty are related. They work as a continuum. If you have too much certainty in your life, you feel bored and begin to desire variety. If you have too much variety or change in your life, this creates additional stress and worry. You then crave security and certainty.

Find the balance between certainty and uncertainty that works best for you. Know that this will change as you go through life as well.

3. The Need for Significance

This is the need for significance, meaning & pride. It is about feeling important and valued for who you are, and for what you’re bringing to society. We all want to feel loved, needed and significant.

Positive and neutral ways to achieve this need include academic achievements such as masters’ degrees and PhDs. It might involve climbing the corporate ladder to get to an executive position in a big corporation or becoming a highly successful musician, painter or athlete.

Some people meet the need for significance by volunteering or helping others, while others get it by making more money or through their spiritual life.

Negative ways to achieve significance include having more problems than anyone else!. If you have a lot of problems in your life and you always talk about them, this could be an unconscious way to meet your need for significance.

You can feel significant by putting other people down, gaining an unfair advantage or hurting other people. People can become bullies or rebellious to achieve their need for significance.

Of all the human needs, I feel that the need for significance is a fundamental reason behind many negative and harmful behaviors. It’s a powerful need for many people.

4. The Need for Love and Connection

This fourth human need is for communication, approval, and attachment. It’s about feeling connected with other people on an intimate level and loved by other human beings. Achieving this need can have some downsides. It might involve overcoming a fear of rejection or learning how to handle criticism from others.

Also, when you achieve this need, you might settle down, which makes life very predictable and certain. You then start to crave a little uncertainty and excitement!

Positive ways to meet this need include dating, intimacy, finding the perfect partner or getting married. However, you can also meet this need by joining clubs, social media groups, going to parties, hanging out with friends and interacting with new people on a social level. Walking in nature, even by yourself is also a great way to fulfill this need for love and connection.

If all else fails, get a pet! I know of several people that haven’t yet found their perfect partners, so they have a dog, cat or other pet instead. This helps them fulfill their need for love and connection.

Negative ways of meeting this need include joining a gang or a cult, settling for an average or even a codependent relationship. Perhaps, you’ve been heartbroken in the past, so you settle for an average relationship (or even stay single), so you don’t get hurt again in the future.

The need for significance and the need for love & connection are also a continuum. If you have too much significance in your life, you’ll often notice a lack of connection. This is a reason why certain celebrities become depressed, anxious and lonely. They over-emphasized significance and are now lonely and in need of love and connection.

Too much love and connection, especially in an intimate relationship can reduce your sense of identity as an individual. You’ll no longer feel important as an person. That’s when begin to value significance more than love & connection. So it’s important to strike a balance, so that you feel both significant and loved.

The Last 2 Needs

The 4 human needs that I have covered above are essential for life. We will always do things to meet our need for certainty, uncertainty, significance, and connection. As you can see, you can achieve these in a positive or negative way.

The last two human needs are less important. You can have a relatively good life without striving to achieve these two. They are called “spirit needs” and are essential for achieving happiness and fulfillment. Not everyone will achieve these, but those that do will feel truly fulfilled in life.

5. The Need for Growth

This is the need for the constant development of your intellect, body, spirit, and emotions. As the saying goes, “if you’re not growing, you’re dying“. This is about growing in all areas of life, including your health, relationships, career, finance, wisdom and spirituality.

6. The Need for Contribution

This is a need to get beyond ourselves, to care, protect, and serve other people. The idea around this need is that “it’s not about me, it’s about we“.

Have you ever received some good & exciting news? What’s the first thing you do? You probably share it with someone else. We like to share good and exciting things with other people.

This human need is not about what you get, but about who you become. Contributing makes you happy in the long term. Giving and helping other people is the key to unlocking the feelings of happiness and fulfillment.

Final Words

These are the 6 most basic human needs as identified by Tony Robbins. Let’s do a quick recap.

The first one is the need for certainty. The second one is the need for uncertainty. The third one is the need for significance, the fourth is love & connection. The final two needs are growth and contribution.

I encourage you to look at your life and discover how you can meet these needs in positive or neutral ways. You are the master of your life. You can dramatically improve your life by leveraging the true power of these needs and by meeting them using positive means.

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In this article, you are going to discover the powerful connection between the reticular activating system and goals. You will then learn 8 fantastic ways to use your reticular activating system to achieve your goals.

We continually get bombarded with information that stimulates our brain. This is why your reticular activating system and goals must be aligned so that you notice the abundance of opportunities that will help you get ahead.

Once you understand the key connections between your reticular activating system and goals, you will be using both your conscious and unconscious mind in harmony. This makes achieving any goal much easier and requires less conscious effort.

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What is the Reticular Activating System?

According to Tech 21century.com, we receive the equivalent of 34 gigabytes of information every day. That’s a huge amount of information and is increasing year by year. The influence of technology, social media, and our very interconnected world constantly bombards us with information to respond to.

If you put 34 gigabytes of information onto your laptop every day for a week, it would become overloaded! Same with us humans!

So to prevent us from being overloaded, we have the reticular activating system (RAS), and this acts as the gatekeeper. It takes in the 34 gigabytes of information that come from our 5 senses. It then filters out the unnecessary from the important. The reticular activating system decides which information to pay attention to and what can be ignored. A staggering 99% of all sensory input is ignored by the conscious mind.

Your subconscious mind will pick up everything. It’s the reticular activating system that alerts the conscious mind to information that is important. The reticular activating system learns over time and alerts you to the same information on multiple occasions. That’s one of the ways that a habit is formed.

However, our conscious mind is smarter. So if you pay attention to something consciously, your reticular activating system will put it on the more important list. The reticular activating system will then start to unconsciously notice things that are relevant to what you are paying attention to.

It’s for this reason that the reticular activating system is super important for goal setting. It plays a key role when you focus on what you want. It’s also important for sustaining life, and I’ll cover this in a moment.

Examples of the Reticular Activating System in Action

Here are some examples of the reticular activating system in action.

  • You buy a new car and then notice other people driving the same car. Why? Because the model of your new car is now unconsciously on your important list. Your reticular activating system notices other people that also have the same car.
  • You are a pregnant woman, and you notice other women who are pregnant because this is now on your important list.
  • As you learn a new word, perhaps some technical jargon or abbreviation, you start to hear other people saying that word a lot.
  • You are at a party with lots of noise. Whilst in a conversation, someone shouts your name. You hear your name through all the background noise. Why? Because your unconscious mind knows that your name is important and it picks that up.
  • When your baby coughs or cries at night, your reticular activating system will wake you up from deep sleep to attend to the baby. That’s because one of the functions of your reticular activating system is sustaining life.

Your reticular activating system will also help you focus on one thing as well if that’s seen as important. Let’s say that you’re completely engrossed in a soccer match or a movie. Your reticular activating system will not bring other things into your conscious awareness unless they are more important than the soccer match or movie.

Reticular Activating System and Goals

Your reticular activating system is the mechanism in your brain that helps make goals happen. With conscious direction (such as writing down goals and focusing on what you want) you begin to attract people, things, places, situations and opportunities into your life.

Here are some examples of this happening.

  • You have decided to eat clean and healthily so that you can increase your energy and lose weight. You start flipping through the pages of a magazine and your reticular activating system unconsciously spots a relevant article or recipe that will help you. If you had tried to do that consciously, would you have found it? Probably not.
  • You’re trying to solve a technical problem on your computer. You take a break and start mindlessly surfing the internet. Suddenly an article appears in the search results with the solution.
  • You are a bystander at a party and you overhear a conversation that is highly relevant to the new career goal or job that you have been focussing on and aspiring to attain.
  • Someone says something directly to you and you have an “a-ha” moment because it’s just what you need to hear at the time. You might have heard the same advice many times before, but at this moment, it was important, so you picked it up.

So with all the above examples, the answer was always there. You just didn’t notice it until now.

Have you ever wondered why comedians find jokes in the most bizarre and mundane of situations? Well, a comedian’s reticular activating system is always looking for something that will be great material for a joke and for the funny side of any situation.

To summarize, your reticular activating system is super important because it helps bring people, things, places, situations and opportunities into your life based on what you focus on consistently.

When you lack goal clarity and focus, you miss out on opportunities as your reticular activating system has nothing to go on. If the reticular activating system doesn’t see something as important, you will miss out and it will instead focus on the mundane or negative.

This is why it is so important to focus on what you want. When you focus on bills, lack debt and sickness consistently, then a life of abundance, good health, prosperity, and peace will be out of reach for you.

If you desire a life of abundance, good health, prosperity, and peace, then take time to focus on these in detail. This will get your reticular activating system working for you rather than against you. Keep reading to learn the specific steps to unleash the power of your reticular activating system.

How to Use the Reticular Activating System to Your Advantage

So I’m now going to cover some ways to help you use the reticular activating system to your advantage.

1. Use SMART Goals That are Written Down

A smart goal is one that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound. I recommend that you follow my step by step process for setting goals. Then write them down in your own handwriting. The reticular activating system will act more effectively with handwritten goals, as opposed to goals that have been typed on the computer.

2. Ask Questions to Make the Goal More Vivid

A great question to ask is “how will I know when I have achieved it?” Taking the time to answer this question will help you get your goal extremely clear in your imagination.

Then ask, “what will I see, hear, or feel?” and “where, when, and with whom do I want it?” These questions will help you bring in places and other people and this also helps to make the goal more vivid.

Now ask “what will achieving this goal do for me?” or “what’s the benefit?“. These questions will help you focus on the benefit and the feeling or emotion of that. Really intensifying the feeling of achieving your desired goal will help impress this more deeply on your reticular activating system.

Now ask, “what am I already doing to move towards this goal?” This will focus your mind on the progress that you are already making. Your reticular activating system will pick up on this as well.

Finally ask “what qualities, skills and emotional states do I need to reach my goal?“. This is a great question! It will encourage your reticular activating system to go looking for the qualities, skills, and emotional states that you need and bring these into your life as well.

3. Keep the Goal or Problem to Solve at the Top of Your Mind

Think about your goal many times a day! Talk about your goals to your family, friends, and colleagues that you trust and that believe in you. Write down your goals and dream about them. The more you do this, the more it will impress on your reticular activating system.

Another great way is to post pictures, charts, or graphs of your goal around your house. Find places where you will often notice them unconsciously. Bathroom mirror, fridge, desk and wardrobe doors are great places. Alternatively, create a vision board and post pictures of your goal on there.

4. Take Consistent Action

Consistent action is important in achieving any goal. However, it helps the reticular activating system as well. When you are taking consistent action, you are also thinking about it consistently. Your reticular activating system will act on this and alert you to new opportunities.

5. Train your Reticular Activating System

I had a client recently that had lots of anxiety in her life. I realized very quickly that she only focussed on the negative things that were happening to her. When I mentioned anything positive, she dismissed it immediately.

I asked her to tell me 5 things that went well for her today. She really struggled and after 5 minutes, we only had 3 things and that was with a lot of prompting from me. Her reticular activating system had become so trained to focus on negative things only. As a result, she found it almost impossible to think of anything that was positive or useful for her. It was like the neural pathway in her brain that looks for good things had almost completely closed down.

Here is a great exercise to help train your reticular activating system to notice positive and useful opportunities for you.

Grab a piece of paper and then set a timer for 5 minutes. Now write down everything that you have achieved in your life so far. This will be easy to start with. Examples could include getting a university degree, falling in love, getting married or buying a house. You can add career and health achievements into the mix as well. What about travel and great friends you’ve made? After 2 or 3 minutes you will start to run out of achievements. Keep going and look for smaller achievements. Keep going for a full 5 minutes writing down everything you can think of.

Once the 5 minutes is up, give yourself a pat on the back. What you will notice is that your reticular activating system will keep thinking of other things that you have achieved after the time is up. That’s because you have begun to train your brain to focus on the good things that you have done in your life so far.

6. Create Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations force the reticular activating system to kick in automatically. The reticular activating system then adds these items to its important list. This works best when you do the following 3 things:

  • Speak your affirmations out loud.
  • Create affirmations that are very specific to your goals.
  • Feel the positive emotions that you want to experience as well.

Ensure that your affirmations are stated in the positive. For a goal of losing weight, the positive affirmation could be “I am thin, fit and healthy”.

7. Use Visualization

Your reticular activating system cannot distinguish between real events and synthetic or imagined reality. Anything that you can vividly imagine will seem real to your reticular activating system and it will act on it. Your reticular activating system believes whatever message you give it, whether it comes from external life experiences or something you create inside.

Your imagination and subconscious mind love pictures! It’s even better when you include what you can hear (including your internal self-talk), feel, touch and perhaps taste and smell as well.

It’s also important to make the image very large! Imagine that you’re seeing it on an incredibly large cinema screen. Visualize the goal as having already been achieved.

8. Repetition

This is simply doing as many of the above techniques regularly and consistently. Each time you do one of these techniques, you are building a new mental pathway in your brain. This makes it more important to your reticular activating system. Then your reticular activating system can get on and do its job.

So now you have a much clearer idea on how the reticular activating system actually works. You also have some strategies that you can use to start getting the reticular activating system to focus on the people, things, places, situations, and opportunities that will help you achieve your goals.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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In this article, I cover the 10 principles for success in anything.

Tony Robbins says that 80% of success in anything is down to your mindset. The remaining 20% consists of the specific skills you use and the steps that you take. So this article focuses on the mindset principles for success.

As you learn about these principles for success, you may discover that you are doing some of these already. If that’s the case, give yourself a pat on the back and then work on the remaining ones to the best of your ability.

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1. Have Realistic Goals and Expectations

Everybody wants a quick fix. Advertisers and marketers reinforce the belief that there is a quick fix for everything. People begin to believe this and set unrealistic goals.

Product testimonials often provide evidence of a quick fix. However, these results are rarely typical and often come from people that have already gained experience and knowledge prior to embarking on this new product.

So it’s important that you set realistic goals, especially process goals. These are goals that are under your control. Focus on long-term goals, long-term results and really master the process. The results will then come.

Now, those crazy goals do have a place. They are part of your long-term vision. This could be where you want to be in 3, 5, 10 or even 20 years time.

2. Take Massive and Consistent Action

Success in anything requires hard work. Again advertisers and marketers will tell you otherwise, but the truth is that you have to work hard. If that wasn’t the case, everyone would be highly successful! However, you can enjoy this hard work and let it help you grow as a person. After working hard, reward yourself. What gets rewarded gets repeated.

Watch out for perfectionism. It’s okay to make mistakes and do a reasonable job initially and learn as you go along. Avoid waiting for the perfect time to start something. There will never be a perfect time!

Be consistent. Whether you want to lose weight, grow a business or get six-pack abs, you will need to put in consistent effort to make progress. You won’t get a six-pack by going to the gym once!

3. Have an Open Mind and Be Willing to Learn

The three most dangerous words in the English language are “I know that

When you say “I know that”, you automatically block the chance to learn something new or a different and more effective way to do it. Be humble and put your ego aside. Whatever your level of success there will always be more to learn. Instead, have the belief and attitude that there is always something more to know and learn.

Create a good balance between competence and confidence. if you are highly confident with little skill, you will take massive action and make tons of mistakes. Some of your mistakes might negatively affect other people. However, if you are highly competent, but with low confidence in what you’re doing, then you are less likely to act and others won’t get the benefit of your skills and experience.

4. Learn from Failures, but Don’t Dwell on Them

Failures, setbacks, struggles, adversity and hard times are part of life. Every successful person has failed many many times. You have to fail to succeed! Learn from your failures and interpret failure as feedback and part of the process of learning. Failure tells you what not to do and you have to fail to make progress.

Ask any successful person how many times they’ve failed? They will have probably lost count, because they have failed lots, learnt from their failures and then forgotten about them.

5. Change Your Approach, but Don’t Give Up

If something doesn’t work then change your approach. Things will happen that are outside your control, things will happen that you didn’t expect. Be flexible when this happens and change your approach.

I once heard that the definition of insanity is when you keep doing the same things repeatedly whilst expecting a different result. So it’s important to change your approach as required, but don’t give up!

6. Have Patience

Focus on your actions rather than the results. You will make a lot of mistakes and learn from these. You might struggle at times and not fully understand or get things. That’s all part of the learning process.

With anything new, you’re going to spend time learning and trying out new things. This will seem like dead and non-productive time but it is so valuable.

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone has different skills and experience. Everyone is at a different starting place on their journey to success. Sometimes, the results can take a year or even five years to come to fruition.

So it’s important to focus on the long-term. Keep your eyes on the horizon and this will give you the motivation to keep going.

Now I don’t find it easy to be patient, but here is a great example of where patience and effort really paid off for me. When I first started my hypnotherapy practice, I wrote web pages covering all the different things that I could help people with. These included pages for Anxiety, Insomnia, Quitting Smoking, Weight Loss, Eating Disorders and many other issues. Each page was around 1000 words and many of them took between 3 and 5 hours to write. I often doubted whether the time and effort was worth it.

After about 6 months, these pages started to rank really well in Google and I started getting a steady stream of inquiries and clients as a result of this effort. These pages continue to generate more inquiries and probably will do well into the future.

So it didn’t seem like it was worth it at the time, but the results and benefits of this work are now clearly apparent. So it’s important to focus on the long term and trust that the actions you are taking now are going to help you achieve long-term success.

7. Be Honest, Help Others and Maintain Integrity

You can be successful without this, especially in business. However, you won’t be happy. In the back of your mind, perhaps unconsciously, you’ll have a fear that you’ll get found out. So it is always best to be honest with other people, especially people that are helping you such as friends, colleagues, a coach or business partner. Help others as well. For me, this always feels good and you tend to get back what you give.

Know the values and principles that you stand for and keep these at the forefront of your mind when taking action. This goes especially for values such as integrity, honesty, and trust.

8. Take Responsibility for Your Success

Success is up to you. Whatever happens, take responsibility, especially for how you react to situations. Taking responsibility gives you choice and control and makes you more open to learning and finding ways to improve things.

9. Focus on Getting Better and Better

This is all about improving yourself and your craft. It’s about investing in yourself to learn and grow. It’s ultimately about mastering the skill, the process and the activities required for success. Take the time to get better and better and focus on constant and never-ending improvement.

10. Listen to Your Intuition or Gut Instinct

Have you ever had the experience of doing something and knowing it’s not quite right? Or something making complete sense that it seemed exactly like the right thing to do.

It’s important in these cases to trust your gut instinct and your intuition. Here is a personal example.

When I started my hypnotherapy business, all the marketing experts and many of my colleagues told me that you have to be active on social media. This didn’t make sense to me, as people search on Google to find solutions to problems. They don’t use social media. I trusted my gut instinct, focussed on writing great content that would do well on Google and that worked for me.

So trust your gut instinct. If it feels right and you feel committed to doing that course of action then do it! However, monitor your progress along the way. Sometimes, what you feel is right may not be right in practice, so it’s important to look for real evidence.

So these are my 10 principles for success in anything. You can apply these principles for success to health goals, business or career goals, even hobbies, and sports. Once you start applying these principles to your life you really will start to notice success becoming easier for you.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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In this article, you will learn how to hypnotize yourself easily and effectively using my 5-step process. I will guide you through these 5 steps so that you can use self-hypnosis to reprogram your subconscious mind.

Learning how to hypnotize yourself is a wonderful skill to acquire. It allows you to change unconscious habits, banish limiting beliefs and release or resolve troublesome emotions. It feels great too!

All hypnosis is self-hypnosis, so even when you are being hypnotized by a hypnotherapist, it is actually you that is doing the hypnosis. This may seem hard to believe, especially if you have seen hypnosis on stage or on TV. I’ll explain how this works shortly.

Keep reading and you’ll discover how to hypnotize yourself so that you can make lasting changes to your life right now.

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What is a Hypnotic State?

Every thought you have is a form of self-hypnosis. Why? Because every thought is either taking you towards or away from some desired outcome.

The characteristics of a hypnotic state include a more focussed concentration or attention on one idea and a greater internal focus with less awareness of the external world. It’s also characterized by slower brainwave states.

You have been in a hypnotic state many times in the past. For example when reading a really captivating novel and you’re completely unaware of what is happening around you. Or when watching a movie that you get completely involved with emotionally.

I believe that addictions are a form of negative hypnosis. People think so much about their next cigarette or alcoholic drink that it becomes their focus of attention. Once they have it, their mind returns to normal for a while before the same thing happens again.

The Different Brain Wave States

In normal everyday awareness, your brainwaves are at the beta level. This is a fairly fast brainwave state and is required for taking action, keeping safe and mental alertness.

However, at certain times during the day, your brainwaves slow down to the alpha level. This often happens when daydreaming, reading a book, watching a movie or when in hypnosis. In the alpha state, your concentration improves and you learn and remember things more easily.

When your brain waves slow down even further, you reach the theta level. This is close to falling asleep and is associated with rapid eye movement and that light dreamy sleep feeling. In hypnosis, people often reach the theta level too.

When asleep, brain waves slow down to the delta level. This can occasionally be achieved in meditation too, after many months or even years of practice.

Purpose of Self Hypnosis

So the purpose of hypnotizing yourself is to reprogram your subconscious mind. This is the part of your mind that is responsible for your feelings, emotions and impulsive behaviors. By consciously hypnotizing yourself, you start to reprogram the subconscious mind so that you naturally do the behaviors and actions that you want to do.

The 5 Steps to Hypnotizing Yourself

To learn how to hypnotize yourself, follow the 5 step process that is covered below.

Step 1 : Slow Down Your Brain Waves

There are a few parts to slowing down your brain waves that I will cover below:

Develop Peripheral Vision

With your eyes open, focus on an object in the room that is directly in front of you. Now, without moving your eyes, notice what you can see above, below, to the left and to the right of the object that you are focussing on. This is known as peripheral or side vision.

As you do this, your brain is forced to take in more information from your eyes. Your brain can only hold around 6 to 9 pieces of information at a time. Therefore, whilst you hold the peripheral vision, your brain is forced to slow down other processes in your brain, including your internal dialogue or self-talk.

Relaxation Breathing

Now start breathing in deeply. Ensure that your stomach or diaphragm expands as you breathe in. This is known as diaphragmatic breathing and is how we naturally used to breathe when we were babies. When you breathe out, make your out-breath slightly longer than your in-breath.

Repeat the word “relax” as a mantra

Now repeat the word “relax” either out loud or silently to yourself every 3 seconds for 1 minute.

Close your eyes

If you haven’t already, now is the time to close your eyes. You are now in a state of hypnosis. You may notice yourself being less attached to, or involved with your thoughts. You will be more internally focussed and less aware of what is happening around you. You will feel relaxed and be in a great state to learn and take in new information. Your subconscious mind is now much more receptive to new information.

Step 2 : Suspend Existing Beliefs

A key step in learning how to hypnotize yourself correctly and effectively involves understanding how the critical faculty works and the importance of suspending existing beliefs to keep this part of your mind out of the way.

Your “Door Policy” for New Ideas

Imagine your critical faculty as being like a bouncer in a nightclub. The queue of people waiting outside really want to get into this wonderful place where all the fun, excitement and enjoyment is. However, the bouncer decides who to let in and who to turn away.

If you directly challenge the bouncer, he will block the door, so you have absolutely no chance of getting into this amazing nightclub. If you could make friends with the bouncer or distract him, then you could make it into this club.

So think of your new positive ideas and suggestions as being the queue of people. Your critical faculty (your internal bouncer), decides which ideas and suggestions will be accepted by your mind (so are let in) and which are rejected (kept out).

Directly challenge your critical faculty with a new suggestion such as “I am a millionaire” and it will probably be rejected because it won’t be believable. Your door policy for new ideas will reject it.

One way to make friends with your critical faculty, your door policy for new ideas, is to use a suspend belief statement. Its a way of compromising with your mind by saying that you only need to accept these new ideas for the duration of the self-hypnosis session. When done regularly, this is long enough for the new ideas to become embedded in your unconscious mind.

The Suspend Belief Statement

Here is the suspend belief statement that I recommend that you use.

“I consciously, deliberately and willingly suspend my existing beliefs about (the desired outcome), Instead, I accept these new ideas as if they are completely true right now. My desire and belief are completely aligned just for now and that feels good.”

The suspend belief idea originally came from “The Nature of Personal Reality” by Jane Roberts.

Step 3 : Reinforce Core Beliefs

In Step 3, you will reinforce up to five core beliefs. These will provide a firm foundation for the unique positive suggestions or visualizations that will follow in step 4. The five positive core beliefs are:

1. I am good enough

Behind any limiting ideas such as I’m not intelligent enough, smart enough, extravert enough (or pretty much anything else ending in “enough) is the core belief that I am not good enough. This is why it is so important to reinforce the positive core belief that “I am good enough”

2. I am worthy enough

If you feel that you are not worthy of love, money (or something else) or you feel that you don’t deserve to have something, then you will want to reinforce the core belief that “I am worthy enough”

3. The world is a safe place for me

If you feel that you could get hurt mentally, emotionally or physically, then repeat the positive core belief of “the world is a safe place for me”. However, do exercise common sense with this one, and don’t knowingly venture into places or situations that could cause physical harm.

4. I am powerful and can influence my world

This one is super-important if you have been trying to change part of your life for a while without success. The more times you try something new and fail, the more it reinforces the core belief that “nothing will work for me”. I see this happen a lot in people that struggle to find solutions to chronic health issues. It can also happen if you spend a lot of time and money on self-development activities, but find it hard to change.

Reinforce the core belief of “I am powerful and can influence my world” to help increase your belief that whatever you are learning, applying or getting outside help for will work for you. It’s also a great core belief to have to increase your ability to influence others in a positive way.

5. Love and Relationships = Pleasure

This is only relevant when working with love and relationship goals, especially if you have been heart-broken or suffered mental, emotional or even physical pain from relationships in the past.

If you keep attracting people that cause you pain and unhappiness, then you need to reinforce this core belief strongly, so that it becomes part of your identity.

It’s not necessary to use all of these five core beliefs. Just pick the ones that resonate with you or would help you the most.

Step 4 : Introduce New Positive Ideas

The next step is to create new positive ideas about the thing you want to change. This should be about something that you don’t have right now, but you want in the future. The new positive ideas could be affirmations or mantras that you repeat, visualizing what you want to happen or asking yourself self-hypnotic questions.

Self-Hypnotic Affirmations or Mantras

The simplest way to introduce new positive ideas is by creating affirmations or mantras that you repeat during self-hypnosis. It’s super important that these new positive statements are believable. Here are 2 examples of positive statements that are not believable.

  • I am a millionaire (for a person that is broke and in debt)
  • My body is in perfect health (for someone with a chronic and perhaps life-changing disease).

In both these examples, the person’s critical faculty will challenge these new ideas and not let them inside, just like a bouncer would turn this person away from a night club. The new ideas will simply not be accepted.

To make your new positive suggestions more believable, use the following phrases.

  • I want to…
  • I can…
  • I am learning to…
  • Every day I am getting better at…
  • I take action every day to become one step closer to…

Here is an example of how to apply these statements to help your body heal from a health condition.

  • I want my body to begin to heal itself and feel good once again.
  • My body can begin to heal itself and feel good once again.
  • I am learning to find ways to help my body heal itself so that I can feel good once again.
  • Every day, my body is getting better at healing itself.
  • I take action every day to become one step closer to healing myself and feeling good once again.

Can you see how much more believable these positive statements would be to a person that wants to overcome a health condition or disease.

Creative Visualization

Instead of repeating affirmations or mantras, you can visualize the goal or outcome. See yourself having already achieved the thing you desire. Creative Visualization is covered in greater detail in another blog post that you can access here.

However, the key points are to imagine visualizing on a large cinema screen (rather than the back of your eyelids) and to use all your senses. Imagine what you hear, feel, taste and touch as well as what you see. Also, include the positive internal dialogue of self-talk that you will notice when you have achieved this outcome.

Self-Hypnotic Questions

Asking yourself questions encourages your mind to find or seek an answer automatically. When done in hypnosis, the answers can come more directly from your subconscious mind or intuition. As a result, they will often be more powerful and accurate.

Here are some great self-hypnotic questions to ask yourself.

  • How can I increase my ability to do… (desired action)?
  • How can I do this even more?
  • How can I motivate myself to do (desired action)?
  • What would be the best way to achieve (desired outcome)?
  • What other ways would help me more easily achieve (desired outcome)?

Allow your mind the time and space that it needs to answer these questions. Sometimes, the answers will come after the self-hypnosis session, so be aware of your intuition and new ideas or answers that come to mind in the next few days.

Step 5 : Return to Normal Waking Awareness

The final step is to come back to normal waking awareness. The easiest way to do this is to count from 5 to 1 and become more aware of different parts of your body as you do so. Then open your eyes and have a stretch.

How to Hypnotize Yourself More Effectively.

Here are a few tips to help make your self-hypnosis sessions even more powerful and effective.

  1. Repeat the self-hypnosis session every day for around 30 to 40 days. It can often take a few repetitions to plant the new ideas firmly in your subconscious mind.
  2. Focus on one desired outcome only during the self-hypnosis session.
  3. Focus on one new positive affirmation, mantra or visualization for at least 20 seconds. Holding one idea for 20 seconds or longer is unusual in today’s fast-paced world, so your brain will see these new ideas as important and build new neuro-connections in your brain. The technique of holding only one idea in your mind for 20 seconds or longer is called “monoideism”.
  4. Use your emotions. The subconscious mind really takes notice of emotions. The more you can feel the positive emotions behind your suggestions or visualizations, the more this will imprint the new positive ideas into your subconscious mind.
  5. Do self-hypnosis first thing in the morning or just before going to sleep at night. At these times, your brain is likely to be in the more receptive alpha brain wave state, so your new positive suggestions or visualizations will go in at a deeper level. This also means that you can skip step 1 and jump straight to step 2, as your brain waves will already be slower than normal.
  6. Record your self-hypnosis session and then use the recording to guide you through it. It can be quite difficult to guide yourself as your mind can wander off. When you use a recording, your brain can focus on the recording and you can immerse yourself completely in the process.

Although learning how to hypnotize yourself is very effective, there may be times when you need an experienced hypnotherapist to work through your specific issues, habits or mental blocks. I can help you do that, so if you would like me to hypnotize you, then click on the link below.


Hypnotherapy can be delivered very effectively online from the comfort of your home or office using Skype, Facetime or Zoom.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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In this article, you will learn how to use the rapid relaxation exercise to relax completely in 6 minutes or less. This is a powerful exercise that you can do almost anywhere!

Use the rapid relaxation exercise whenever you feel stressed, overwhelmed or anxious. It will really help you physically relax and allow your mind to become quiet and centered.

The rapid relaxation exercise is a little unconventional! However, its super easy to learn and is a fantastic way to rapidly reduce stress and relax completely.

Watch the video below:

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Listen to the Podcast

Where and When to do the Rapid Relaxation Exercise

The rapid relaxation exercise can be done almost anywhere. You can do this in a car when you’re parked, on the bus or train, in the local park or out with nature. You can even do this on the toilet! It’s also a great exercise to do in bed as you’re going to sleep.

Don’t do it when you’re doing anything that requires your full concentration, such as when you’re driving.

This is a wonderful exercise to do whenever you feel stressed, can’t think straight or when reacting to things or acting emotionally. It will help you re-center yourself when your mind is getting too busy or if you feel overwhelmed.

It’s also great to do before meditating, visualizing or repeating affirmations because this exercise will help slow down your brainwaves from the Beta state down to the Alpha state. Your unconscious mind will then be more receptive to new ideas.

Once you have completed this exercise, you will typically feel much more centered, relaxed and at peace. Things that were bothering you a few minutes ago seem to be more manageable and less overwhelming.

I learned this exercise from Andrew Parr who is a very successful Harley Street hypnotherapist in London. However, the original ideas in this rapid relaxation exercise came from Andrew Newton and he is the hypnotist that trained Paul McKenna.

The best way to learn this exercise is to download my MP3 recording that will guide you through it. Click the link below.

Click here to download my MP3 audio file that will guide you through the Rapid Relaxation Exercise

Rapid Relaxation Exercise Script

Here is the script from the Rapid Relaxation MP3 recording.

The Starting Position

Rest the back of your hands on your knees with your palms facing upwards. You might have seen people meditating with their palms up, but that’s not the reason for you doing this now.

In fact, if you hold this position for a while, you will notice tension around the inner joint of your elbows and the top of the forearms inside.

Keeping the heals of your feet on the floor, lift up the rest of your feet and then curl your toes upwards.

This will create tension in the top of your foot and if you hold this for a while, the tension will build up along your legs as well.

Now, I want you to tilt your head back and look at a real or imaginary spot on the ceiling and just focus your gaze on that spot for a while.

Now take a big deep breath in through your mouth, in to your stomach, so that your stomach expands as you breathe in.

And as you breathe out, just letting go, almost like a sigh of relief

Relaxing Your Body

Now take another big deep breath in through your mouth, into your stomach, so that your stomach expands as you breathe in. and as you breathe out, just close your eyes.

Now take another nice big deep breathe in through your mouth and into your stomach, as you breathe out, allow your head to tilt forward towards your chest.

Now take another nice big deep breath in through your mouth to your stomach, and as you breathe out, turn your hands and arms over, so that your palms are facing downwards and your arms can relax.

Take another big deep breath in through your mouth to your stomach, and as you breathe out, allow your shoulders to sag, drop down and relax.

Take another big deep breathe in again, through your mouth to your stomach, and this time as you breathe out, gently relax your toes and allow your feet to return to the floor. It feels really nice to finally relax your feet and toes and feel their connection with the floor again. 

And, as you do that, notice your feet relaxing along with your ankles, calves, shins and all the other muscles in your legs.

Take another big deep breathe in again, through your mouth to your stomach, and as you breathe out, begin to loosen all the muscles and bones in the top of your body, so that they feel loose, limp, lazy, a very relaxed feeling.

Lights Visualization

Now in your mind, I want you to imagine that you’re looking at a very beautiful cityscape, a night-time city scene with beautiful skyscrapers with lots of lovely lights on. Sometimes those scenes can seem quite magical with all the little lights on,

Now starting from the buildings furthest away, I want you to see those lights being switched off now one by one. And I want you to switch those lights off and see them switching off as you do. So just one by one dtt dtt dtt dtt dtt dtt.

You watch the lights flickering out, and as you switch the lights off, you begin to switch off little parts of your body for a while. Your muscles, nerves, neurons, feelings, sensations, thoughts, just letting go, just beginning to close everything down for a while.

Take your time. Watch the lights there, and as you switch those lights off, watch as it gets darker and darker,  just heading towards a very comfortable, relaxing darkness.

So eventually when all those lights are out you are left in a very comfortable darkness and you feel very quiet, peaceful, serene and content.

Just stay there and enjoy feeling peaceful, relaxed, content and savouring the stillness and the tranquillity of this moment.

And, when you are ready, you can become aware of the sounds around you, the sensations in your body, and then you can open your eyes and come back to the here and now.

Now it’s your turn

Start by using my MP3 recording to guide you through the rapid relaxation exercise. After using my recording a few times, you will be able to learn and memorize the steps so that you can do the rapid relaxation exercise without the recording. You will also get quicker with practice and will soon be able to do this exercise in just 3 or 4 minutes.

Click here to download my Rapid Relaxation Exercise MP3 Recording

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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In this article, you will learn all about the four main personality types. These are Type A, B, C and D. 

Knowing the four main personality types is very useful when dealing with other people.  If you can quickly understand how they tick, then you can build rapport more quickly and create a deeper connection.

I’ll cover the positive and negative traits of each of these four main personality types. It can be interesting to see which one you fit in to.  I’ll also reveal the one that most closely matches my personality. 

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Human behavior is often very predictable and can be categorized into one of four different personality types. These are Type A, B, C and D. Each person is unique but may exhibit stronger personality traits from one of these types. Knowing these 4 personality types will help you understand why people react and respond the way they do. This then helps you communicate with others more effectively and understand them better.

For each of the four main personality types, I will cover both the positive and negative aspects. As you read this article, you will find yourself relating to one of these personality types more than the others. It’s good to know which type it is, as this will help you understand why you act and react the way you do.

If you don’t like some of the negative aspects of the personality type that most closely resembles you, then you can change it. No behavior is set in stone. You can change how you act or react in certain situations.

So I will now cover the four main personality types in greater detail.

Type A – The Go-Getter

Type A people are high achievers. They are competitive, ambitious and very well organized. They are very aware of time and use time wisely and efficiently. Type A people are proactive and love to set goals. They like to push the boundaries and get outside their comfort zone. These people can be workaholics and they push themselves with deadlines. They are also eager to help others.

These are great behaviors and traits to have and are promoted in many self-help books. However, there are some negative aspects to the Type A personality.

Type A people tend to be more stressed and anxious. They have less job satisfaction and may change jobs often, believing that the grass is greener somewhere else. These people can often feel less satisfied in other areas of their life as well, such as health or relationships. Type A people can be very status conscious. They can be impatient because they value time highly.

Another trait is aggression. This can be displayed in positive or negative ways. It can be being aggressive to achieve things, to be the best and at the top of your game. However, this aggression can sometimes come from ignoring the needs of other people. Type A people can be quite hasty, impulsive and hyper-alert. They can get angry or frustrated quite easily.

Type B – Relaxed and social

The type B personality is almost the complete opposite of type A. They are more relaxed, consistent and steady. They enjoy the process of achieving things and have a calming influence on other people. These people are often more peaceful and grounded. It can take a lot to make them angry or frustrated. They are less competitive, it’s more about enjoying the game or experience than winning or losing.

Type B people are more tolerant of other people They often have many friends and a great social life. They excel in social situations, find it easy to relax with others and enjoy themselves. Type B people find it easy to have fun.

Type B people are often more perceptive and pick up on other people’s emotions. However, they are also emotionally stable within themselves. They are very patient and it is this combination of qualities that lead to type B people becoming very good therapists, writers, actors or actresses.

However, type B people may not achieve their full potential because they are less ambitious, more relaxed and laid-back. They can procrastinate and leave things to the last minute. They need the pressure of a tight deadline to spur them into action. Being less aware of time can cause them to be late for meetings and appointments. These people can also find it hard to make decisions.

Type C – The rule abiding perfectionist

The type C personality is similar to type A, but with some noticeable differences. A key one is perfectionism. Type C people spend more time on the details and check work several times for accuracy. They value the importance of doing an excellent job. Unlike type A people, type C people are less aware of time. For this reason, their strive for excellence and perfection can mean that a task takes much longer than it needs to.

Type C people are consistent and reliable and they very rarely bend or break the rules. The aggressive or impatience of a type A person is more likely to result in them bending, breaking or even changing the rules. They will challenge the status quo. A type C person will happily follow the rules, which means that they enjoy jobs and tasks that follow a set procedure or are about complying with rules, laws or procedures. Type C people are great to have in any safety critical roles.

Type C people like to go deep into studying and learning one subject. Rather than be good in lots of areas, they prefer to be an expert in one or two areas. They are more introverted and tend to enjoy meaningful conversations with one or two people. They are less keen on the surface level banter that often comes when communicating socially within a larger group. Type C people also tend to avoid conflicts with others, so as not to upset the status quo.

Having a routine and focussing on one thing at a time is important for type C people. Any disruption to this can be quite stressful or frustrating. They also like a sense of stability and security and will make decisions based on logic rather than emotions. Type C people can be deep thinkers.

Type C people tend to get bogged down in detail and making things perfect. As a result, they might miss a deadline or spend too long on tasks. They can feel overwhelmed when there is too much going on and may need time alone to process things. They need time to make decisions, so they can get all the facts and details beforehand.

Type D – Distressed and sensitive to others

Type D people tend to have a tendency towards negativity. The D actually stands for distressed. However, type D people have many positive aspects as well.

They are warm people, very peaceful on the outside and extremely sensitive to other people’s emotions. Type D people have a very realistic view of life. They like security and are quite resilient. They love to help and give advice. These people rarely give up and can be a source of wisdom to other people.

However, type D people can feel isolated, lonely and can be quite negative at times. They experience more negative emotions than the other types, but won’t share those emotions with others, because they are afraid of rejection. Instead, they suppress their emotions, keeping them inside.

Type D people tend to worry a lot and can be quite irritable. They tend to be more pessimistic and gloomy about life.


As I mentioned earlier, no one is completely Type A, B, C or D. It also depends on the situation or event. You might exhibit type A behavior at work and type B when out with friends. The key here is to acknowledge and enjoy the positive traits in your behavior and personality and then work on changing any aspects that seem negative to you or other people. Awareness is always the first step to change.

In case you’re wondering, I lean most closely to a type C personality. I like to do things really well, follow a proven path, and enjoy meaningful conversations with 1 or 2 people rather than big groups. However, there is quite a lot of type A personality in me as well.

Let me know the personality type that most closely resembles you, by leaving a comment below.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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In this article, I’m going to cover 12 great ways to massively improve your health and dramatically reduce your chances of getting chronic life changing diseases.

This is a huge topic! So many people feel that they have no direct control over their health. Your health is not guaranteed, just like your safety is not guaranteed each time you jump into a car.

However, there are so many things that you can do to proactively improve your health, so that you minimize the chances of getting a chronic life changing disease. This article is all about ways to improve your health today, so that you can feel confident with your health in years to come.

In many areas of life, it is the little things that you do consistently that give you the big result. This is especially true with health. If you eat junk food regularly for 10 or 20 years, the negative health consequences of that are very predictable. Eat well, exercise regularly and manage stress consistently and the positive health benefits of that are also very predictable.

So, let’s get into the 12 ways to massively improve your health today, so that your chances of getting a chronic debilitating disease are as low as possible.

Watch the video below:

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The more I learn and study health, the more I realize that there is so much more that we can do to reduce the chances of getting chronic life-changing diseases. In fact, the inspiration for creating this article came from a Ted Talk video by Dr. Rangee Chatterjee called “How to make diseases disappear”. It also came from a seminar that I went to in Sydney by Tyler Tolman.

Listening to both these people made me realize that you can greatly reduce the chances of getting chronic life-changing diseases. And, if you have them already, there are things that you can do to improve your situation.

One of the things I learned from Tony Robbins is that you are either moving forward or backwards in each area of your life. You never stay still or in a plateau. Health is no exception to this. Ask yourself right now if you are doing things to improve your health or to negatively affect it?

In this Ted Talk video, Dr. Rangee Chatterjee talks about how most doctors treat symptoms without considering the thing that caused the chronic disease in the first place. For example, let’s take 2 people with similar levels of heart disease. The cause for the first person was a very poor diet and sedentary lifestyle. For the other person, the cause was chronic stress, anxiety and perhaps even depression. So if the cause of the disease is different for each person, then the solution needs to be tailored to each individual, rather than a one-size-fits-all approach.

Dr Rangee Chatterjee then went on to list the 6 main chronic diseases which are:

  • Chronic Inflammation
  • Insulin Resistance
  • Depression
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Heart Disease
  • Dementia

Although these diseases seem very different, Dr. Rangee Chatterjee believes that the things that cause them are very similar and are largely under our control.

Genetics may play a part, but something else has to fire your genetic response. That “something” else is very often within your control. This is known as Epigenetics and is extremely fascinating!

People often look for the one thing or the one cure for a chronic disease. However, in reality, you need to have a foundation of health in place that comprises of the 12 things that I’m about to cover. Once you have this in place, then any special medicine, supplement or superfood is more likely to be effective, because you have all the fundamentals in place.

Of course, nothing is guaranteed especially in the area of health. Also, BIG DISCLAIMER! I’m not a medical doctor or expert in health by any means. The 12 ways to improve your health that I’m about to cover is what I am applying to my life and is based on my own research. Please do take advice from your medical professional as appropriate before applying these steps.

1. Diet

I’m sure it comes as no surprise to see diet on this list! The key here is to eat whole foods as much as possible and avoid processed foods. This includes eating fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and grains as much as possible. Personally, I try to keep dairy and wheat to a minimum and often follow a vegan diet during the day and have some meat as a treat in the evening.

Recent research seems to indicate that chronic inflammation is behind many diseases, including heart disease and arthritis. Whole foods, especially plant-based foods help reduce inflammation in your body. Also, watch your alcohol consumption to try and keep that to a sensible level as well.

2. Physical Activity and Exercise

Physical activity is great for digestion and releasing stress. It makes you feel great as well, improves your mental health (as well as your physical health) and reduces your risk of getting diseases such as Cancer, especially when combined with the diet suggestions listed above.

Exercise makes you sweat and this is an important way for your body to get rid of toxins. It also improves digestion, especially if you are a little constipated.

The absolute minimum is a 30-minute walk, 6 times a week. This is very easy to fit into your schedule and can easily be combined with other activities, such as listening to podcasts. Of course, more intensive cardio and resistance training are much better. As you get older, you begin to lose muscle mass and that can contribute towards insulin resistance.

3. Reduce Stress

A little short term stress is fine. Your body, especially your heart is well equipped to deal with this. It is long term, chronic and ongoing stress that is bad for you. Your body is simply not designed for this. Ongoing stress, anxiety, and depression can be as bad for you as smoking.

Stress is a big risk factor for heart disease and is also linked to depression. It can affect your concentration and your level of social interaction as well. Stress also raises the level of cortisol in your body. This then raises insulin levels, causing insulin resistance.

Ongoing chronic stress also creates chronic inflammation, because the body thinks that it is under constant attack. Besides being a link to many diseases in the body, chronic inflammation is now linked to mental illnesses such as depression.

Stress can also affect your health indirectly too, by increasing your chances of making poor food choices, drinking an excessive amount of alcohol, smoking or other harmful behaviours.

4. Unresolved Emotional Pain

Long term and unresolved negative emotions such as resentment, guilt or anger can play havoc with your body. These negative emotions become trapped in the body and this creates additional stress and tension. Many of these unresolved emotions come from past events with other people. If you read You Can Hear Your Life by Louise Hay, you will see the link between resentment and cancer.

It’s important that you find a way to deal with any unresolved emotional pain. This might involve expressing your feelings to the people concerned or having a few sessions with a therapist. You can also express and release these emotions using the Sedona method, EFT or hypnotherapy. Even practicing Yoga on a regular basis can help release unresolved emotional tension.

5. Relationships

The quality of your relationships, especially your intimate relationship can have a huge effect on your overall health. Is your relationship moving in a positive direction and bringing love, joy, and happiness to both you and your partner. If you are not in an intimate relationship, what can you do to develop deeper connections with other people in your life?

At a recent seminar, I heard that loneliness is very bad for your health and could potentially take 5 to 7 years from your life. I was staggered when I heard this! As humans, we crave for connection with other people and it is important to take the time to do this.

Also, what is your relationship like with yourself? Are you taking some time out for yourself or to do the things that you really want to do.

6. Sleep

Are you getting 7 to 8 hours of quality sleep every night? Just 2 or 3 nights of poor sleep can massively increase your levels of stress and anxiety. Personally, I find it much harder to keep calm and stay positive when I am feeling sleep deprived.

I was amazed to discover that poor sleep dramatically affects your blood sugar levels. So, make sure you’re prioritizing sleep by getting seven to eight hours of quality sleep every night. Your body and your mind will thank you for it!

7. Rest and Recovery

Professional athletes know the importance of rest and recovery. They take time out from intense periods of training to allow the body to recover and become stronger. However, your brain needs a rest too, so it is important to take some time out to rest, relax and recuperate. You can do this through meditation, watching some meaningless TV or spending time out with friends.

8. Reduce Toxins

Toxins include things you ingest (e.g. nicotine, alcohol or additives in processed foods), skin products and toxins from the environment. What I have been doing recently is looking at the products that I use every day and finding natural alternatives. So far, I have changed to a natural toothpaste, shower gel, shampoo and have experimented with natural sunscreen and mosquito repellent.

It’s much harder to control pollution, radiation and other environmental toxins, especially if you live in a large city. However, large cities often have better access to healthy food choices and superfoods, so you can do things to boost your immune system, so that your body is better able to deal with these toxins.

9. Passion and Purpose

This is about doing more of the things that you love to do. This could be hobbies, sports or travel. It’s also about making time for yourself.

If you hate your job (or your job is taking far too much of your time), then set an intention to change this. This won’t happen immediately and will take some effort and courage to do. However, it is very doable. Having a job and career that is satisfying, meaningful and fulfilling and that is meeting your needs is so important for both physical and mental health.

Also, when you are happy in your work, you tend to be happier in life generally. When you are happier, your partner is happier, your kids are happier, your friends are happier and everything becomes easier.

It amazes me how elderly people that are terminally ill, somehow manage to stay alive for a wedding or a significant family event and then they die shortly afterwards. I also hear stories of people retiring and then dying shortly after. In both these cases, it seemed to be a sense of purpose and having something to look forward to that keeps them going. Once they lost that, the body seemed to give up.

Although it is very difficult to prove this, it seems to me that having a purpose and vision seems to change things chemically in the body, so that your body is working with your mind to make that vision a reality.

10. Air

As babies, we knew how to breathe correctly, which is into the stomach or diaphragm. However, as adults, we seem to forget this and start breathing more shallow and in the chest rather than the stomach. As a result, your body gets less oxygen and you have less energy. If you are yawning a lot, then this is your body’s way of unconsciously wanting you to take in more air. Notice your breathing when you are stressed or anxious. It will often be very shallow and you might even notice moments when you don’t breathe at all!

When you exercise, it forces you to breathe deeply and correctly. It has to do this to get sufficient oxygen to the muscles. So, exercise is a great way to help your body get enough oxygen.

You can also practice breathing deeply through your stomach several times a day. If you tend to forget, then set a timer on your smartphone to remind you to do this several times in the day. Breathing correctly is also very relaxing and is a great stress reliever.

11. Water

Drinking lots of water is great for flushing out toxins in your body. It also helps you stay physically and mentally alert. When I drink a liter (about 33 ounces) of water pretty quickly, I really notice myself feeling more mentally alert.

There is a lot of debate on how much water to drink daily. My suggestion is about 1 liter for every 20 kilos of body weight, so this will be between 3 to 5 liters a day for most people. This can include herbal teas and the water found in many vegetables. I wouldn’t include alcohol or caffeine as these tend to dehydrate you.

12. Sunlight

Just 20 to 30 minutes of sunlight helps increase vitamin D in your body. This is important for preventing certain cancers. Sunlight also activates the pituitary and pineal glands. These are the glands that set our body clock, so being out in the sun helps your body know when it is daytime and nighttime. For this reason, there seems to be a link between a lack of sun exposure and insomnia.

So spend 20-30 minutes in the sun as often as you can. Taking a walk at lunchtime is an easy way to do this. If its winter or you are in an area that doesn’t get much sun, then consider taking a vitamin D supplement or get a blood test to check your vitamin D levels.


So these are the 12 great ways to improve your health and reduce the risks of getting chronic life-changing diseases. It’s very likely that you are doing some of these already, so give yourself a pat on the back for that.

For the others, I recommend that you focus on one of these 12 ways per month. It’s so easy to become overwhelmed with all the things that you could do to improve your health. The most important thing is to feel that your health is moving in a positive direction and that you are doing something (however small) to proactively work on improving your health.

Besides protecting yourself from the chance of nasty diseases in the future, applying the 12 ways outlined above will also help you have greater energy, feel more alive, be happier and more relaxed. If you currently feel stressed, anxious or depressed, it will help reduce this as well. Once you put these into practice, you will really appreciate the benefits for yourself.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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In this article, I cover the reasons that people stay stuck in life and show you how to move forward with your life, so that you feel that things are changing for you.

Feeling stuck is like being on a train that has stopped.  You know that until it moves, you are not going anywhere. Life can feel like that too sometimes.  Do you feel stuck right now?  Do you feel that something different needs to happen to allow you to move forward with your life?

The thing that makes you stuck is fear.  In this article, I cover 3 specific fears that keep you stuck and how to overcome them, so that you can move forward with your life.

Watch the video below:

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Why we get stuck

We have an internal thermostat, set point or paradigm that keeps us in a safe, familiar place. It works like a central heating system that keeps the temperature at a comfortable level. Our subconscious emotional mind especially, does not like too much change too quickly.

Attempting to lose weight is a classic example of this. You eat healthily and exercise regularly. As a result, your weight reduces and you feel different, possibly uncomfortable. Perhaps you get attention from other people that you didn’t get previously.

Perhaps you deal with the uncomfortable feeling of moving outside your set point, by indulging in some comfort eating. You do this a few times and your weight is right back at where it was before.

The same thing can happen when investing in personal development seminars, courses or books. You get fired up by the new material and are highly motivated to apply it to your life, so you take action and things begin to change. This feels uncomfortable and the motivation from the seminar or program wains and before you know it, you’re back where you started.

I believe this also explains why so many lottery winners lose all the money they won. The winnings take them out of their comfort zone and they don’t know how to handle that. So they spend the money poorly and end up back where they started, which feels comfortable and familiar.

Why does this happen? Well it’s down to FEAR and 3 specific fears in particular. Understand and overcome these fears and you can permanently change your thermostat, set point or paradigm. These 3 specific fears were identified by Brendon Burchard.

Fear of Loss

When you make any significant change in life, there is a fear that you might lose something that you currently find enjoyable. It could be a person, job, security, foods you love, time out or doing fun things. that make you happy.

To lose weight, you might need to stop eating foods that you love (but don’t love you!), give away some of your favourite clothes that you will no longer fit into. You might need to give up some time to prepare healthy foods or exercise.

To develop a business alongside your job, you might need to sacrifice time with your family and friends, This could involve saying no to invites to social activities. It might involve spending less money, so you can invest in your business.

When your business becomes full time, you will lose the security of a full-time job and predictability of a regular income. If you are a single person wanting a relationship, then you might lose time with friends or your independence. To master a sport, you might sacrifice time with friends, certain foods, alcohol and anything else that could hamper your performance.

Any kind of change involves losing something that currently feels comfortable and familiar. However, the way that you perceive that loss and think about it really matters.

Focus on what you will gain

The easiest way is to change your focus to what you will gain instead. Using weight loss as an example, you will gain a healthy body, fit into your clothes better, have more energy and reduce the chances of nasty diseases later in life.

If you’re developing a business, then the benefits might include working for yourself rather than an employer, additional income, a secure income when you retire, better holidays or paying off your mortgage early.

For the effort involved in finding that special someone, you could focus on being in love, making new friends through your partner, sharing your life with someone else, getting married and having kids.

Fear of the work involved

The second one is fear of the work involved to change. It’s a fear of the process of changing and what is required to change. This includes the discomfort of learning new things, the fear of changing as a person or perhaps doing something that you’ve never done before.

In the case of weight loss, this includes the discomfort of exercise, trying new healthy foods, different recipes, cooking methods, venturing in to a health food shop or learning all about superfoods, supplements and natural alternatives.

If it is starting a business, it could be learning about technology or marketing. This was huge for me when starting both Self Help for Life and my hypnotherapy practice. It could also be a fear of making mistakes or feeling overwhelmed by all the different things you could be doing. It could simply be the fear of doing something that is new. When I started my hypnotherapy practice, I felt extremely uncomfortable taking my first phone call from a prospective client, then running my very first hypnotherapy session as a professional and asking for payment at the end.

Change your focus

To deal effectively with the fear of the work involved also requires a change of focus. Here is how I did it.

When I delivered my first session as a professional hypnotherapist, I reminded myself that I had successfully achieved a government accredited hypnotherapy qualification, and provided 50 hypnotherapy sessions to friends. I reminded myself that this first session as a professional would be no different to working with friends.

Rather than thinking about the work involved in getting Self Help for Life off the ground, I focussed on enjoying the process of learning the things I needed to know to be successful. I reminded myself that I could be at university learning theoretical information that might work, completing assignments that might be useful in the “real world” and spending a small fortune for the privilege.

If it’s the process of dating, then focus on how going on dates will improve your communication skills and your understanding of different people. Focus on how any rejection will make you more resilient and leads you one step closer to finding the right person.

A key thing to realize is that where you are now is comfortable. The work involved to achieve a significant goal or change in your life can be uncomfortable, but the result (and sometimes the effort as well) will be satisfying.

If you don’t put in the effort, you’ll feel comfortable, but not satisfied. Take action and get out of your comfort zone and you’ll experience satisfaction.

So you can have comfort or satisfaction, but not both! Well not initially anyway! There will come a time when you achieve your goal when you finally make it. That’s when you can have both.

Fear of Failure

The third fear that keeps you stuck is fear of failure or fear of not getting the outcome. This is a biggie! Let’s say you take massive action, you sacrifice other parts of your life that you enjoy, and you don’t get the results!

You do things to achieve a better lifestyle, whether that’s making money, losing weight or mastering a sport. Achieving success in these areas gives you more enjoyment and more satisfaction. But what if this doesn’t happen? What if you fail? You put in all this time and nothing changes.

Anything you do in life is a risk, but there are ways to minimize this risk and change your perception about any risks involved.

Focus on the process

Start by focussing more on the process rather than the end goal. For losing weight, focus on completing each exercise session or becoming curious about trying lots of different healthy foods and discovering how tasty they are!

If it’s a business or new career, focus on the new skills you will learn and how you can apply these new skills to other areas of your life. For example, I know that every YouTube video I make improves my verbal communication skills. This makes me a better communicator and presenter and that’s a great skill to have.

The same applies to writing articles like this one. Written communication is so important in achieving success in your career. In my case, it might even lead to me writing a book.

So, even if the business venture is not successful, you have still learnt some great skills that will stand you in good stead for whatever you decide to do next.

Keep taking action

I also believe that if you put in the effort, the results will follow eventually. If you do enough of the right things, results will start to happen. It can take longer for some people and that’s okay. We all come from a different starting point.

It takes a certain amount of effort to get the numbers to work in your favor. You need to go on enough dates to find your perfect partner. It takes a certain amount of healthy eating and exercise to smash your weight loss goals. It requires a certain number of blog posts or YouTube videos before Google takes notice! So, the more you do and the more consistent you are, the greater the chance of hitting the goal.

Another great way to overcome the fear or failure is to visualize what you want. This makes you feel excited and that increases your level of vibration. So if you’re working on losing weight, visualize yourself feeling fit, happy, vibrant, enjoying tasty new food, or shopping for clothes that fit your new body.

For a business it could be visualizing being your own boss, having a long term passive income, or simply doing what you love.


So, to recap, the 3 fears that keep you stuck and stop you moving forward with your life are:

  1. Fear of loss
  2. Fear of the work involved
  3. Fear of failure

To overcome or change your perception around these fears, you will want to:

  1. Become aware of these fears (you need to notice them before you can change them)
  2. Change your perception of these fears by thinking about them in a different and more positive way.
  3. Focus more on what you want. This will allow the fear to take less space in your mind.
  4. Develop a really strong why. This will give you the energy and motivation to overcome your fears.
  5. Enjoy the process and the journey. The experience and skills that you learn are in many ways more important than the outcome.
  6. Have trust that the results will come and faith in your own ability to make it happen.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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You want to stop being lazy, but don’t know how?  This article will cover how to stop laziness in its tracks, so you can be productive, efficient, successful and happy.

In this article, I talk about the three different types of laziness and the two different types of motivation.  Keep reading and find out which of these apply to you. 

I’ll also cover the laziness checklist. This will help you find out if you really are being lazy or not.  Its good to know this before applying my strategies to help you to stop being lazy.

I then cover 9 fantastic ways to stop being lazy.  All of these methods are highly effective and easy to apply to your life.  Keep reading and learn how to make laziness a thing of the past for you.

Watch the video below:

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The Three Types of Laziness

There are 3 different types of laziness. The first type is long-term laziness. This is procrastination on a task for weeks, months or even years. Examples include losing your job 12 months ago and doing very little to find a new job, gaining weight and doing very little about it, or being at university and doing very little studying.

With long-term laziness, the person is not thinking about the problem. It’s not stressing them out. They are ignoring it, hiding it until it becomes so bad that they have to do something about it.

The second type is short-term laziness. This is where you experience a rut. You’re normally motivated, successful, even a high-achiever, but for some reason, you have lost your drive and your motivation. You even find it hard to do the things that you are normally motivated to do.

Unlike long-term laziness, you will be much more aware of short-term laziness. You will be thinking about it a lot. Or, you could be having thoughts about wasting time and not achieving things. Perhaps, you might be mentally beating yourself up. This will lead to negative emotions such as frustration or guilt.

The third type is situational laziness. This is being highly motivated to do some things but not others. You might be very motivated to do extra work to enhance your career, but not to improve your health or fitness. This really comes down to your priorities and the importance you give to different areas of your life.

Situational laziness can also come from all-or-nothing thinking. This is thinking about how I must achieve this one thing to the exclusion of everything else.

Before you try and resolve your laziness, first work out which of the 3 types of laziness it is. Then use the following checklist to work out whether it’s really laziness or do you just need some time out.

Laziness Checklist

Before looking at ways to overcome laziness, I recommend that you answer the 3 questions below. These act as a checklist and will identify if there is a genuine reason for being lazy, perhaps a signal that you need to slow down and relax.

Are you burnt out? When did you last have a holiday? If you haven’t had a few days off in the last 6 months, then perhaps you need a holiday or a few days in a different environment.

Are you tired? If you are physically tired or feeling run down, then its going to be much harder to be motivated and have the energy to do your best work. If this is the case, perhaps a rest or at least a power nap is what you really need.

Is your life out of balance? Perhaps you’re working very hard and missing out on fun and social interaction? This is something I certainly feel when I have spent a whole day on the computer at home and not interacted with anyone, except for the occasional phone calls. We all have different human needs and it’s important that we strike a balance between these different human needs.

Different Types of Motivation

Before I cover how to stop being lazy, I’ll briefly describe the two different types of motivation.

The first type is negative or away from motivation. This is being motivated by the pain of NOT doing something. It could be that your motivation to lose weight comes from not wanting to get diabetes or heart disease later in life. Or, you want to meet someone special to avoid the pain of being lonely.

Negative motivation can be very useful in giving you a kick up the backside to take action. However, one of the problems of this type of motivation is that it can wane over time. Once you start getting results, the motivation to continue reduces. This is often why people that use away from motivation to lose weight end up putting some or all of the weight back on again.

The second type is positive or towards motivation. This is thinking about the good and positive things that will happen when you achieve your goal. This is generally more sustainable in the long-term. You see results and this spurs you to keep going.

A great way to increase both negative and positive motivation is to write down a list of all the reasons for achieving this goal. The more reasons the better! When you have enough good reasons, the motivation will naturally come.

The 9 Ways to Stop Being Lazy

I will now cover 9 specific ways to help you to stop being lazy and take action in your life.

1. Have an accountability buddy

This always works for me! In the past, I have been accountable to many different people including personal trainers, naturopaths and music teachers. When I had a personal trainer, I made the time to exercise between sessions because I knew that the personal trainer would find out if I didn’t! Seeing a naturopath regularly kept my diet, caffeine and alcohol intake in check. At school or college, we automatically had accountability. It’s called a deadline! – Get the assignment in on time or else!

Being accountable to a professional that you are paying for is the best option. When I was paying $95 a session with a personal trainer, I worked out regularly between sessions because I wanted to get my money’s worth!

If you have a friend or colleague as an accountability buddy, then you can increase your odds of success by “paying up” For example, let’s say you want to stop drinking coffee. You agree with your accountability buddy that every time you have a coffee, you will give $10 to charity (or to your buddy!). That’s going to really hurt after a while, as that’s good money that you could spend on something else. So accountability is really really important and it’s a great way to help you stay motivated and not be lazy.

2. Act before you think

Typically, we have a thought, that generates a feeling, that then generates an action or behavior. However, it works the other way around too!

You act first. This generates a feeling that then changes your thoughts. You fake it until you make it. If you’re about to do something scary like a parachute jump, bungee jump or skydive, then its far better to just do it before the fear stops you in your tracks.

When you do something that you don’t feel like doing, you will often begin to feel like doing it once you start. I’m sure this has happened to you, especially with doing exercise or completing assignments.

3. Do the task for 5 minutes

This really works for me too! You do the task that you’re feeling lazy about for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes only two things can happen.

  1. You keep doing it (the most likely scenario)
  2. You stop! If that happens, it’s probably an indication that you generally need a break, You need to take some time out.

At school, I often procrastinated on practicing the French Horn. However, once I started, I could easily play for one hour, sometimes longer.  So rather than waiting until you feel like doing it, do it anyway, and the feeling will come.

4. Do half the activity

This is either spending half the normal time on an activity or putting in half the normal effort. Let’s say you normally exercise for 40 minutes. Today, you’re feeling lazy, so you do 20 minutes instead.

Or perhaps you’re working on an assignment or blog post. Instead, of doing it to your very best standard, you focus on making it average. This will make the task seem smaller in your mind. You will also have something to go on that you can improve later on. It may end up being close to your normal standard anyway, because you’ve taken the pressure off yourself.

5. Make distractions harder

Spend some time identifying the things that distract you. Perhaps its social media, email or some other kind of notifications that pop up on your screen. If so, turn them all off, so that you won’t be distracted. This might seem like common sense, but it’s amazing how easy it is to become distracted by a notification that arouses your curiosity or interest.

If it’s a natural curiosity or inclination to visit a certain website such as YouTube or Facebook, then you can obtain software that will block certain websites temporarily or even permanently.

6. Make the task easier

This is about making the task or the decision to do the task easier. If you are lazy about exercising first thing in the morning, then have your exercise clothes ready the night before. If you are procrastinating on work or business activities, then create your to-do list the day before. Then as soon as you get to work, you can start on the first task right away.

7. Change your identity around laziness

All behavior stems from your sense of identity. So instead of thinking that I’m a lazy person (which is not really true), change it to I’m a normal person that sometimes feels a little lazy.

Also, watch out for how you speak about laziness to other people. Don’t say “I’m a lazy person” because your unconscious mind will pick up on it. If said regularly, it becomes a negative affirmation.

Think about laziness is something that you do sometimes, rather than part of you. Think of it as a very small part of your overall personality.

8. Set fewer goals

Is your laziness coming from feeling overwhelmed because there is too much to do and you don’t know where to start? If so, perhaps you have underestimated the time and effort required to achieve the goals that you have set yourself.

This was happening to me quite often, so each month, I set fewer goals so that I had a very good chance of achieving all of them.

By setting fewer goals and more realistic goals, you are setting yourself up for success. This increases your confidence in your ability to achieve them and this reduces any feelings of laziness.

9. Set rewards for achieving goals or tasks

The final way to stop laziness in its tracks is to set rewards for achievement. This could be a small or big reward dependent on the task. This gives you something to look forward to when you complete the task. What gets rewarded gets repeated.

We are conditioned to be rewarded for our efforts and this definitely helps you to feel more fulfilled and satisfied.

Make sure that your rewards are relative to the task. For a big task, the reward could be a night out with your partner or with friends. For a small task, it could be a little food treat or spending ten minutes blindly surfing the internet or watching videos on YouTube.

So these are my 9 great ways to help you to stop being lazy. As always, I encourage you to apply these to your life, so that laziness can become a thing of the past for you.

If you enjoyed reading this article and found it useful, please leave a comment or question below.  I would love to hear what you think!   Please also click on the stars below to rate this post. Also, feel free to share this article with other people or on social media.

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In this article, you will learn how to stop excessive and repetitive thinking in its tracks and feel more relaxed and peaceful instead.  I believe that repetitive and excessive thinking is a habit, possibly even an addiction. 

In this article, I cover 12 highly effective ways to reduce or stop excessive and repetitive thinking, before it stops you! I’ll also talk about the reasons why you overthink things, the likely triggers and how to know the difference between useful thinking and excessive thinking.

So, if you want to stop excessive and repetitive thinking today, then this article will really help you.

Watch the video below:

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Could excessive and repetitive thinking be a habit or even an addiction? Could you be addicted to your thinking and reluctant to let go of it? Maybe you believe that if you don’t think about something fully, then something bad is going to happen.

So why is excessive and repetitive thinking a problem? Well, it makes the problem bigger than it really is. It can even seem scarier. Think about any past fear in your life. What made it worse? Probably thinking about it too much.

Now think about an unexpected event that happened in your life where you had to act quickly with little or no time to think. What was the fear like then? – Probably a lot less.

So overthinking increases fear. It also reduces the enjoyment of positive things that you are looking forward to. For example, you have a party coming up and you start thinking about this party quite a lot. You think about how you will act, interact with others and how others will react to you. You then show up at the party, and you find it hard to relax and get into the party spirit. This happened because the overthinking beforehand has subtly raised your level of anxiety making it harder to relax and enjoy the party.

Excessive and repetitive thinking also keeps you out of the present. Instead, you have thoughts about regrets from the past or you’re worried about the future.

Thinking is good and is absolutely essential. It’s overthinking that becomes a problem. So how do you know when you have tipped the balance from thinking to overthinking or excessive thinking?

A normal or useful amount of thinking will help you solve a problem. Excessive and repetitive thinking keeps you in the problem, it keeps you stuck.

You now know what excessive or repetitive thinking is and how to know when you’re doing it. I will now cover 12 powerful and effective ways to help you stop or reduce overthinking.

1. Identify the Specific Fear behind the excessive thoughts

It’s time to get really specific with the fear behind these excessive thoughts. When you overthink things, your mind comes up with vague fears or disaster scenarios without really thinking about what could actually happen.

Ask yourself, what is the worse thing that could happen? Get really specific on what that worst case scenario is and how you would deal with it. By doing this, you will realize that the worst-case scenario is often not as scary as your mind makes it out to be.

2. Reconnect with your senses

When you notice yourself overthinking things, change your focus to your senses. Notice and become completely absorbed in what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and perhaps even tasting. As you notice things, don’t give them a name or meaning (you want to turn this part of your mind off for a while). For example, you’re outside and you notice this lovely flower. You look at it, really get into the detail of the flower. However, you don’t give it a name, think about what it is, or whether you like it or not. Instead, you simply notice it for what it is. Keep doing this with other things, just noticing them with your senses but not thinking about them.

Another way of reconnecting with your senses is to focus on parts of your body. This is also a great way to relax too! Start with your forehead, eyes, cheeks and jaw muscles and consciously notice and relax these muscles. Then continue with your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, stomach, back, lower back, waist, legs, feet, and toes. Focus on how each part of your body currently feels and then imagine the muscles relaxing. The wonderful thing about this exercise is that it gets you out of your head, (your prefrontal cortex to be precise!) and allows you to focus on your body instead.

I highly recommend doing this body awareness exercise regularly. Set reminders on your phone throughout the day to remind you to take a few minutes to do this.

3. Make decisions super quick!

The way to combat overthinking about decisions is to set short decision deadlines. If it’s a small decision such as whether to answer an email, set yourself 30 seconds to decide whether to do that now or later. For bigger decisions (ones that currently take days or weeks), set yourself 30 or 60 minutes to go through all the information then make that decision. Or decide, that you’re going to make that decision by the end of TODAY.

4. Go into the future

Ask yourself, is what I’m thinking about right now, going to really matter in five weeks, five months, or even five years? If the answer is no (and it very often is), then decide to stop thinking about it Just answering this question can help reduce the fear that drives the excessive thoughts.

This is also a great way to identify whether the thinking is useful or excessive. If the answer is no, then you know that it’s just a minor worry that you can let go of.

5. Realize that you cannot control everything

Overthinking is often used as a way to attempt to control every possible outcome or scenario. Or, to avoid making a mistake. However, it’s impossible to predict all possible scenarios in advance, Everyone, even the super successful, make mistakes and that’s okay. Making mistakes is how you learn.

Become more comfortable with making mistakes. Let go of the fear of doing things incorrectly. When you do that, the emotional need to overthink and control every possible scenario will reduce. It’s also very energy draining, so the more that you can let go of control, the more relaxed you will feel.

6. Have trust in a larger process

This larger process will be unique to you and could include God, a universal power, or simply the confidence that you will naturally do the right thing. It could be believing that the right thing will happen naturally.

Alternatively, focus on the what and forget the how. Get really clear and specific on what you want to happen, but be very open and flexible to how it happens. If this fits in with your belief system, then imagine that a higher power will work out the how for you.

7. Know your triggers

Habits and addictions require a trigger to set them off. This trigger can be a situation, person or a time of the day. So, if excessive thinking is a habit, then there will be situations, people and events that trigger this too.

Notice what the triggers are and write them down. Is it a particular person or situation? Once you know what the triggers are, ask yourself, “what can I think and do instead that will make me feel happier and more in control?”.

8. Meditation

Meditation is great because it helps you to observe your overactive mind and any excessive and repetitive thoughts. It also allows you to step back and observe your thoughts. It helps you to realize that you are not your thoughts, but rather the presence behind those thoughts.

Here is a great meditation exercise to help you slow down and reduce the excessive and repetitive thoughts. Imagine you are watching a busy road from a safe place. It’s rush hour and you see the cars going past bumper to bumper. It gets later and later and the number of cars starts to reduce. You notice the space between the cars becoming greater and greater. As you notice this, you become aware of spaces between your thoughts and even moments of silence or absence of thought.

Any type of meditation will work because it focusses your mind on one thing. This could be your breathing, a mantra, a visualization (like the car example above) or someone’s voice (if listening to a guided meditation). By focussing on one thing, you can take a step back and realize that you are not your thoughts, you are the presence behind your thoughts.

9. Dissassociating

Imagine that you are about to do a parachute jump. You are on a plane, looking down, ready to jump and you’ve never done this before. You will probably notice emotions in your body right now. It may be fear or perhaps adrenaline.

Now, imagine the same experience on a movie, a TV screen or even your smartphone screen. See yourself on the plane getting ready to jump and notice how that feels. It’s likely that any feelings will be less intense.

The technique of imagining watching an experience on a screen is called disassociation. It’s a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) term. You can use this in any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. In that disassociated state, you will often get new insights on how to deal with the situation. It will give you the space to think about it more logically.

10. Change Life Goals

Setting unrealistic life goals can force your mind to spend too much time trying to figure out how you’re going to achieve them. In this case, the solution is to make the goals more realistic. I often set myself goals that are very challenging and have really noticed how easy it is to think excessively about how I’m going to achieve these goals. I’ve seen how this can negatively affect my mental health, so I’m a little more realistic now.

11. Notice thoughts, but don’t judge them

Notice your thoughts and become really curious about them. However, don’t judge these thoughts. Even if a really negative thought comes up, just notice it for what it is, just a thought.

Then ask yourself, “is this thought helpful and productive, or is it getting in the way?” If the thought is getting in the way, ask yourself, “what could be a more helpful or productive thought?”.

For this to work best, become really curious about your thoughts, have a sense of fun and playfulness about it.

12. Say “At this moment, I am okay.”

When you notice yourself thinking excessively or repetitively about something, say “At this moment, I am okay“.

In the vast majority of situations, this will be true. Saying this mantra or affirmation will also help you to let go of thoughts about regretting the past or worrying about the future.

You could also say to yourself “right now, everything is good and I am safe and comfortable

So these are 12 wonderful ways to help you overcome excessive and repetitive thinking once and for all. I encourage you to practice and apply these methods and find out which ones work best for you.

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