How to Create Affirmations That Work Extremely Effectively

You’ve probably already heard about the importance of affirmations and how they positively influence the subconscious mind. But, do you really know what affirmations are and how they work? If you don’t, you’re in the right place. If you have already used them, but they didn’t work for you, let me explain how to create affirmations that can work extremely effectively for you.

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What Are Affirmations?

Affirmations are positive phrases that you repeat often. They can be:

  • Extrinsic – about something you want to achieve, a specific outcome or goal. For example, earning $100,000 a year or losing 20 kg.
  • Intrinsic – about who you want to be or who you want to become. For example, being a more confident, sensitive, extravert or outgoing person.

Why Are Affirmations Useful?

1. Positive thoughts replace negative thoughts

Around 60,000 thoughts pass through your mind every day. Many of these are the same thoughts repeated over and over again. Any thought that you consistently repeat is an affirmation!. So you are already repeating affirmations whether you realize it or not.

The problem is that many of the consistent thoughts that you unconsciously repeat to yourself are negative. By beginning to repeat positive affirmations that work, you can make positive changes and feel much better. You can start having optimistic thoughts about the things that you want to achieve.

2. Helps you focus on what you want

Repeating affirmations that work can also help you focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. After a while, it changes the way you think. When you change your thinking, your beliefs change as well. Over time, these beliefs become your reality. So your reality changes as well.

3. Rewire your brain

There is a link between affirmations and neuroplasticity – the idea is that you can rewire your brain to think differently automatically. When you repeat affirmations that work, things change at an unconscious level. You create new neural pathways in your brain, so that over time you unconsciously begin to act differently.

Related Article: How to Write Affirmations that are Believable and Get Results

The Main Reason Why Affirmations Don’t Work

The number one reason why affirmations haven’t worked for you until now is cognitive dissonance. This is the conflict between your new affirmation and the thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes that you already have.

How Do You Identify Cognitive Dissonance?

There are several ways to recognize cognitive dissonance. These include:

1. Contradictory self-talk

When you repeat an affirmation, your self-talk contradicts it. It says something like, “no, that’s never going to happen”.

2. Uncomfortable feeling

When you start repeating affirmations, you may get a feeling inside that seems to tell you that what you are saying is not true.

3. Negative imagination

While repeating an affirmation, you start imagining something contrary to what you’re affirming.

Let’s say you are a shy person, and you are repeating the affirmation: “I am very confident when interacting with others”. The contradictory self-talk could be, “no, you’re not. You are shy, and you can’t talk to anyone”. You may also sense an uncomfortable feeling. Or you start imagining yourself being shy in a specific social situation.

Another example could be saying the affirmation “my business is a success” when you know it isn’t. You’re going to get that contradictory self-talk and perhaps an uncomfortable feeling. Or you’ll start imagining and remembering times when it wasn’t successful.

How to Overcome Cognitive Dissonance

You need to make your affirmations believable. To help you do this, I am going to give you 9 phrases that you can use to create more believable affirmations that will work for you.

A good place to start is the “I am” affirmation. Here are some examples

  • I am confident.
  • I am earning $100,000 per year.
  • I am attractive.
  • I am in excellent health.

When you repeat these “I am” affirmations, do you hear negative self-talk or an uncomfortable feeling? Or do you imagine something that goes against what you’re affirming? If you notice any internal conflict, then here are some other phrases that you can use instead.

The 9 Phrases to Create Affirmations That Work

1. I want to

The phrase “I want to” is believable. For example, “I want to become confident”. That’s believable because all you’re saying is that you would like to become confident. Your unconscious mind hears the words “become confident,” and it starts to get the feeling of the word “confident.” Here are some other examples:

  • I want to earn $100,000 per year.
  • I want to be attractive.
  • I want to be in great health.
  • I want to find my soul mate.

Are you noticing any cognitive dissonance now? If you are, try the next phrase.

2. I can

When you say “I can”, you affirm that it’s possible and that you can do it. And that’s true. It’s harder to question whether you can or can’t do something if you haven’t done it yet.

  • I can be confident.
  • I can earn $100,000 per year.
  • I can become attractive.
  • I can be in excellent health.
  • I can find my soul mate.

If in the past you couldn’t do certain things, then you might get a bit of cognitive dissonance. If that’s the case, then move on to the next one.

3. I choose to

This one gives an element of choice and intention. This can make the affirmation more believable.

  • I choose to be confident.
  • I choose to earn $100,000 a year.
  • I choose to become attractive.
  • I choose to be in great health.
  • I choose to find ways to meet my soulmate.

4. I am learning to

This phrase is very believable. As long as you are taking some time to learn, then that critical voice in your mind can’t contradict you. It’s very, very believable. Here are some examples.

  • I am learning to become confident.
  • I am learning how to become confident.
  • I am learning how to earn $100,000 per year.
  • I am learning ways to become more attractive.
  • I am learning how to be in great health.
  • I am learning how to find my soulmate.

With this one, it’s beneficial to use words like “how” or “the best way.” For example, “I am learning the best way to earn $100,000 a year”, or “I am learning multiple ways to be in great health”.

5. I am becoming

This phrase gives you the feeling that your goal is a process or a journey. Each day you’re getting a little bit closer to achieving it. With this affirmation, it can be helpful to add words like “more and more.” Here are some examples:

  • I am becoming more and more confident.
  • I am becoming more capable of earning $100,000 per year.
  • I am becoming more and more attractive.
  • I am becoming healthier each day.
  • I am becoming more capable of finding my soulmate.

6. I can find a way

This one is great when you are motivated, but you still don’t know the exact solution or method. It can get you out of that feeling of hopelessness or overwhelm. You can say:

  • I can find a way to be more confident.
  • I can find a way to earn $100,000 a year.
  • I can find a way to be more attractive.
  • I can find a way to be in great health.
  • I can find a way to meet my soulmate.

7. I deserve to

This phrase is useful if cognitive dissonance comes from a lack of self-worth or self-esteem. It’s often the case when you want something, but don’t feel you deserve it.

  • I deserve to be more confident.
  • I deserve to earn $100,000 a year.
  • I deserve to be more attractive.
  • I deserve to be in great health.
  • I deserve to find my soul mate.

The phrase “I give myself permission” can be an excellent alternative.  For example, “I give myself permission to be more confident.”

8. I am open to the possibility

Let me give you an example first: “I am open to the possibility that I could be more confident”. I use this one a lot in my hypnotherapy sessions when people have very deep-rooted beliefs that create cognitive dissonance. When they are not able to use any of the other phrases that I’ve covered earlier, this one is the best. It’s a good idea to add the words “I can” or “I could.” Let me go through the examples:

  • I am open to the possibility that I could become more confident.
  • I am open to the possibility that I can earn $100,000 per year.
  • I am open to the possibility that I could be more attractive.
  • I am open to the possibility that I could be in great health.
  • I am open to the possibility that I can find my soulmate.

9. I will

I’m personally less keen on this one because the words “I will” could tell your unconscious mind that you are talking about the future. And if it feels that it will happen in the future, not now, then it won’t necessarily take the steps towards making it happen. However, if the “I will” phrase feels right to you, and you don’t feel cognitive dissonance, then give it a go. The most important thing is to make it believable. I would suggest combining it with similar affirmations that use some of the other phrases. So running down our list again:

  • I will be more confident.
  • I will earn $100,000 a year.
  • I will be more attractive.
  • I will be in great health.
  • I will find my soul mate.

Find Affirmations That Work for You

So I have covered 9 great phrases that will make your affirmations more believable and compelling. Make use of these phrases and find affirmations that work for you. Bear in mind that everyone is different. Experiment! Find those that are the most effective for you!

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

The 10 Secrets for an Amazing Life

An amazing life doesn’t happen by chance. It will happen when you use your time, energy and focus intentionally, deliberately and purposely.

An amazing life can be hampered by distractions, less important goals or a shortage of time or money. However, the biggest obstacle is often the lack of a clear goal. However, this and other things preventing you from living an amazing life can be solved with a little effort.

Here are 10 fantastic ways to create an amazing life. One that is meaningful and exciting to you.

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1. Decide on Your Priorities

Wanting to be an olympic athlete, astronaut and concert pianist in one lifetime is unrealistic.  The time and effort involved in mastering all three would be too great.  I love this quote from David Allen that states “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything“.

Warren Buffett recommends writing down the 10 goals that you most want to achieve in your life. Then scrubbing out numbers 4 to 10 and focusing purely on the first 3.   You can always come back to goals 4 to 10, once you have achieved your top 3 goals.

2. Get Started

The first step towards achieving any meaningful goal can often be the hardest.  A lot of people have reasons or excuses for not getting started. This could be a lack of money, lack of time or lack of knowledge. It might also be a feeling that you’re not good enough or worthy enough to achieve this goal. However, it’s important to realize that you already have everything you need to take the first logical step.

Perhaps you believe that this is not the best time to start. If that’s the case, remember that there is never a perfect time to start anything.

If you struggle to get started each day, then commit to doing a difficult but necessary activity for 10 minutes and see what happens. And do this even when you don’t feel like doing it. Once the motivation kicks in, you’ll find that one hour swiftly passes by and you’re now successfully doing something that is taking you closer to the life you want.

3. Spend Your Time Wisely

There are lots of ways to complete the same activity.  Sometimes the easiest way takes longer. Sometimes the easier way works in the short-term, but has negative consequences in the longer term.

Sometimes the quicker or best way requires more courage, feels uncomfortable or involves a higher level of skill.   However, if this allows you to do more in a shorter space of time and get better long-term results,  then it’s worth the effort.

4. Remove things that aren’t necessary

Start by removing whatever isn’t necessary. This could be responsibilities, distractions, less meaningful activities or people that drain you emotionally.

A few years ago, I was attending yoga classes regularly and also doing many other things to improve my health. The yoga classes helped a little, but I really didn’t enjoy it. So I ditched the Yoga and started leading bush walks or hikes around Sydney instead. I enjoyed this so much more. I was getting some exercise, meeting new people and doing something that made me happy and fulfilled. I was doing something for me!

So take a look at your life. Remove activities that seem to provide little value or benefit or that you don’t enjoy. It’s pointless doing all these things if they make you unhappy.

5. Deal with Negative Thoughts and Emotions

Achieving an amazing life can be challenging at times. Those big goals and aspirations will bring up negative thoughts and emotions and also feelings of self-doubt. That’s normal. It’s part of the journey and is to be expected. Just remembering this can help a lot.

When the road is bumpy, stay positive and solution-focused. Keep focussed on what you’re going to achieve. When you focus or pay attention to the negative and what’s not working, this will sap your energy and fuel procrastination.

6. Forgive

Forgive and let go of the past. Remember that past experiences (even the challenging ones) have helped you become who you are today. They gave you strength, resilience, empathy, and helped you build better habits and become a better person.

Also, forgive other people. This might include your family, friends or colleagues. Remember that they were trying to do the right thing, based on what they know and their mental state at the time. If their mental state was poor, they may have said or done something that you didn’t like and that you now resent. They may even regret their actions towards you, but find it hard to apologize or share that with you.

7. Replace Resentment with Compassion

Similar to forgiveness, you want to let go of any resentment for things that have happened in the past. This could be resenting other people or even yourself. Holding on to resentment will never make you happy. It can even create disease in your body.

So replace resentment with compassion and you’ll feel happier and your life will be more amazing.

8. It’s Not That Difficult

There is less competition than you think.  Look at how the average person wastes time at work and at home.  Most people do not have goals.  Most people fail to prioritize their time or get distracted easily.  The average person lives a comfortable life and then regrets it later.

You’re only competing against a small minority of people that have the same mindset as you, so success may not be as difficult as you think it’s going to be.

9. Adapt, but Don’t quit

It’s important to adapt and sometimes make dramatic changes in direction. Never quit, because there is almost always another way or another approach that will work better. People that live an amazing life adapt to changing circumstances, but never quit on their ultimate goals and dreams.

10. Be Happy Right Now

So many people think that happiness is like a deferred payment plan. They say “I will be happy when….”. Here are some examples.

  • I will be happy when I graduate from college and have some money.
  • I will be happy when I find my soul mate and get married.
  • I will be happy when I buy a house.
  • I will be happy when I become a manager or executive in this company.
  • I will be happy when I retire!

These things will make you happy in the short-term. However, after a while, they will become familiar and your level of happiness drops. You then start looking for the next thing that will make you happy.

Happiness is ultimately a feeling. There are things you can do to feel happier right now. I often find that it’s the really small things that make me happy, such as quality time with my wife, a good friend or walking in nature. It’s also the contrasts in life, such as having a day to yourself after being very busy for a few days.

Think about the little things that make you happy right now. It’s still important to strive for the things that will make your life amazing, but enjoy the journey along the way.

So in closing, if you would like your life to be more amazing, start by setting goals, establishing priorities, and removing distractions. Work on your emotions, especially resentment, and do the things that make you happy right now. Remember, there is plenty of time to have the life that you’ve always wanted. So use your time wisely and start applying these 10 secrets to an amazing life.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

Wealth Mindset | The 8 Factors That Predict How Wealthy You Will Be

What is the best way to develop a wealth mindset and become wealthy? Well, a good start is to find out what wealthy people think and do and start applying this to your own life.

Besides having a great wealth mindset, wealthy people also adopt specific behaviors that other people don’t do. Start modeling these behaviors and you can have what they have too!

In this article, you will learn the 8 specific factors that predict how wealthy you will be. Discover the mix of wealth mindset traits and specific behaviors that wealthy people do. Then start doing these too!

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So let’s kick off with some questions:

  • What behaviors do most millionaires have in common?
  • What are their main personality traits?
  • What does it take to become a millionaire?
  • What does it mean to have a wealth mindset?
  • Can an ordinary person build extraordinary wealth?

To answer these questions, I’m going to share the research results from two great authors. The first is Chris Hogan, who studied 10,000 millionaires. The second is Sarah Stanley Fallaw who studied 600 millionaires in the US.  Here are the links to their books on Amazon.

These researchers uncovered 8 behaviors or wealth mindsets that almost every millionaire has. These 8 factors can predict how wealthy someone will become in spite of their age, background, or current income.

So here are the 8 factors that you can use to predict how wealthy you are going to be.

1. Frugality

The first one is frugality – a commitment to saving and spending less than you earn. It’s sticking to a budget and resisting lifestyle creep. What is lifestyle creep? It’s spending more when you start earning more. Frugal people typically spend about 80% of their income. The rest, they invest.

Frugal people know that becoming rich or financially independent is not about how much you earn. It’s about spending less than you earn. That’s the crucial thing. They’re creating a financial buffer for their future. The money they save might be used to start a new business or retire early.

True financial freedom or financial independence means having time as well as money. To have time, you need income from passive sources. It can be rental income, income from investments, or from an online business. That income doesn’t need to be very high. It just needs to be high enough to exceed your expenses.

2. Confidence

Confidence is essential if you want to be frugal. You’re going to get pressured from other people to spend money. It takes courage to say no. You have to be determined to stick to your budget.

Being confident also means being able to invest with your head and not your emotions. Whether it’s investing in a property or stocks and shares, it’s easy to get emotional and not think realistically. Rich people are very good at taking a detached perspective. They have the skill of weighing up the pros and cons logically.

They also act on opportunities quickly. Rich people seem to have the ability to recognize an excellent opportunity when they see one. They don’t procrastinate on decisions. They take action immediately because they have that wealth mindset. They’re confident in their skills and abilities. This gives them resilience, persistence, and self-belief.

3. Taking Responsibility

If you’ve read some self-help books, you probably know that taking responsibility for your life is extremely important. So, it’s not surprising that one of the crucial traits of wealthy and successful people is taking personal responsibility. They don’t count on other people to help them get rich. They take action by themselves. They don’t blame others either. They won’t even blame the economy when they fall short.

Sometimes millionaires lose their wealth when the economy changes. But what’s interesting about these people is that they are capable of coming back and making money again. They are taking responsibility and not blaming the economy. Even if the economy affects them in the short term, they know they’re going to get back on track.

A part of taking responsibility is being flexible. You must be willing to try different things. It’s also about focusing on what you can control. In any situation, it is essential to know what you can manage and influence, especially when other people are involved. It’s also about aligning your daily habits with your own goals. Rich people have consistent daily habits that are taking them towards their goals.

Interestingly, most millionaires are self-made. They have not achieved their wealth by luck, through inheritance, or by having wealthy parents. There are so many stories about self-made millionaires that were just like anybody else. Still, they had that something that led them to success. And that was not given to them by birth. They had the wealth mindset that you can develop and cultivate too.

4. Goal Setting & Achievement

Successful and wealthy people are goal-orientated. They set short-term and long-term goals for their financial future. Researched showed that 92% of wealthy people had a long-term plan for their finances. And 97% of these people accomplished almost every goal they set. So they rarely fall short. They set goals, and they achieve them. They’ve mastered the art of setting goals and, most importantly, accomplishing them.

5. Focus & Tenacity

This one is about seeing tasks through to their logical conclusion. Not being distracted by other things or other opportunities. Resisting the shiny object syndrome. Successful people generally stick with one business idea or venture for a significant amount of time. They might see other, perhaps even better opportunities. But they decide to stick with the one they started. Especially if they can see some signs of success.

There might be times when switching to another business venture, or opportunity is the right thing to do. But generally, this will be the last resort for a person with a wealth mindset. They are aware that taking action on their current venture is much more critical. It means staying in the game for the long term.

They’re also a lot less focused on immediate gratification. Their willingness to give up spending time and money on things now is helping them to achieve better results in the future. They are capable of avoiding the “I need to have things now to be happy” mindset and focus on long-term gratification. They are long-term thinkers. They are thinking 2, 5, even 10 years in advance.

If I’d started saving when I was 20, I could well be on the way to being a millionaire now. But I didn’t have that long-term vision in my early 20s. If you are in your early 20s, understand how important this is. What you do financially in your early 20s can make an enormous impact on your financial future. Start planning for your future right now!

6. Social Indifference

People with a wealth mindset don’t feel a need to keep up with the Joneses. When your neighbor buys a particular car or something else, do you feel the need to do the same? Genuinely successful people don’t feel a need to do that. They don’t feel the pressure from others to buy the latest iPhone or some other gadget. Sometimes they have older technology because they use their money for other things.

When I first started working, I moved into my first shared house in London. I was talking to my flat mates who were making a good income compared to me. I asked if they were saving some of that extra money for the future. They said no, they just spent more instead! So they earned more, but spent more too! As I mentioned earlier, this is known as “lifestyle creep”. I didn’t want that to happen to me, but it has, although I’m addressing this now!

7. Working Hard

The next thing that productive, successful and wealthy people do is work hard. They’re always willing to do whatever it takes even when it’s not easy. They’re eager to challenge themselves. They’re ready to stretch themselves. And 93% of people who became millionaires achieved that with hard work. It was not about knowing the right people or being in the right place. It was sheer hard work that got them to where they were.

These people are continually working on improving themselves. They won’t settle for what they have or who they are today. They’re always looking for more. Even though they are very successful now, they’re always looking for ways to improve themselves. They develop themselves further so that they can be even better tomorrow. Investing in their education and skills makes them capable of embracing the latest technologies or business trends. They have that wealth mindset that there’s always more to learn. And they have the curiosity that drives them.

One more thing that is significant is to take on jobs that you are passionate about and that you love doing. When you work on something that you’re excited about, it’s a lot easier to do the hard work. You’re much more motivated, and it’s much easier to keep going when the going gets tough. If you love what you are doing, you’re more likely to do it very well. You are always going to perform better at something that you enjoy, and you’re happy doing.

8. Being Consistent

To be consistent means doing the same thing day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, even decade after decade. If you want to be consistent, you need to be patient. You have to be able to let go of immediate gratification and focus on the long-term goals. Having a good focus is essential. You need to have the ability to stay focused on your plan and your goals for financial wealth and freedom. If you have a passion for what you’re doing, that should make everything easier.

So, these are the 8 behaviors and wealth mindset traits that the vast majority of millionaires have, based on extensive research.

To learn more, I highly recommend reading the following two books.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

10 Ways to Effectively Deal with Having Too Much To Do

Having too much to do or a feeling that you are overwhelmed is the most common form of stress in today’s world. I call it time poverty. There are not enough hours in the day to do all the things we need to do. This lack of time can be a hard one to crack because it feels like you have no control over it.  There are only a certain number of hours in a day and we can’t change that.

Recently, I’ve had a few hypnotherapy clients that have been experiencing this problem. I really wanted to help them. And I want to help you as well if you feel overwhelmed because of having too much to do.

Most probably, there are many things that you think you should be doing. For example, exercising, eating healthily, doing yoga, or working on your self-improvement. Maybe you think you should be spending more time with your children, friends, or family. The pressure can also come from your work.

Technology can make that feeling even worse. Nowadays, thanks to technology, we can do so much more quickly and efficiently. Consequently, we have more to think about. There is more mental noise in our minds. That noise creates additional pressure.

How do you know when you have too much to do or that you are overwhelmed? Usually, it’s pretty obvious. Sometimes it’s not so easy to tell. Think about the tasks that are generally rewarding and enjoyable. If you stop enjoying them and all you can see is a long list of things you need to do, then this is a key sign that you’ve got too much on.

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Now I’m going to cover the 10 ways to effectively deal with having too much to do.

1. Write Everything Down

It is essential to write everything down on a piece of paper or on your computer. I used to keep all the things I had to do in my head. One evening, I came home, looking busy and stressed. My wife asked what are all the things you need to do? Even though I had all these things in my mind, I struggled to answer her question. I couldn’t recall most of the things that I needed to do.

What helped me was writing all my tasks down. When you write them down, you get a clear visual picture of what you need to do. This gives you a sense of perspective, and often you can find the cause of your stress. The overwhelming feeling usually reduces. You may also feel an emotional release. Just the act of writing all these things down can help release that stress emotion.

2. Prioritize

Once you write your tasks down, it’s time to prioritize. You’ve got to put them into an order. First, focus on what’s urgent and what needs to be done immediately. After that, add tasks that you want to do and are important to you. These are the tasks that give you a sense of fulfillment and happiness. They help you achieve your long-term goals. When you feel happy and fulfilled, you’re more likely to get those other tasks done.

Next, there are tasks that you don’t want to do. See if you can get some help. Or, find a way to delegate them to somebody else.

Some tasks are of low priority. I’d almost call them the don’t do’s. Maybe, it’s not necessary to do them. If they’re not adding much value to your business or your life, perhaps you could skip them. This might go against your work ethic. However, the reality is that you’ve got too much to do. So you have to prioritize in a way that ensures that the most important things get done.

3. Change Your Self-Talk

This one comes from a video by Bernadette (known as “B”) at the Daily Positive. She says that when you have too much to do and feel overwhelmed, don’t say things like, I’m so busy, I’m so stressed out, or I don’t have enough time. Why? Because your unconscious mind gets that message loud and clear. And it will put you into fight or flight mode. This creates a vicious cycle, where you’re more stressed and less productive. Your work begins to pile up even more.

Remember that your unconscious mind can’t make choices. It just imprints whatever you regularly say to yourself. So if you keep saying to yourself, I’m so busy, I’m so stressed out, I don’t have enough time, your unconscious mind is going to believe it. Instead, you want to say the direct opposite. Tell yourself things like:

  • I am calm,
  • I am in control.
  • I am focused.
  • I am effective.
  • There is more than enough time to do everything I need to do.

Even if you don’t believe these, when you say them, your body will begin to feel calmer. You’ll feel more in control. You’ll be able to think more clearly, and you’ll be more productive.

Over time, these new affirmations and this new self-talk will become more believable. You will start to take them on more and more naturally.

4. Banish the Words Should, Must, and Have To

The vast majority of us live in a free society. We have freedom of thinking and freedom of speech. We also have freedom of choice. We can choose what to do or what not to do. So rather than saying I should go to the gym today, say I choose to go to the gym today. Or I can go to the gym today. And in the same manner, I choose to stick to this diet, I can stick to this diet, or I want to stick to this diet.

Can you see that you now have a choice? It might seem like a play on words, but again, your unconscious mind will pick up on the harsher feelings behind words such as should, must or have to. So use softer words, such as want to, choose to, and could do. When you do this, you’ll see a difference. You’ll feel more in control.

5. Make Time for What Matters Most

Think about the things that are very important to you, the things that you would regret if you didn’t do them. When you get older and look back on your life, what are you going to care about? What are you going to regret not doing? Probably not many things that are on your current to-do list!

You must make time in the day to do what’s super important. The things that you value. Maybe it’s exercise because you want to have a great body and long-term sustainable health. Maybe, it’s meditation so you could feel more focused as life goes on. Perhaps, it’s self-improvement – becoming the best person you can be. It could also be learning new skills or setting up a part-time business.

If you can find a way to make time to fit those into your day, you will feel much better about yourself. And when you feel better about yourself, you tend to get more of those other things done as well.

6. Watch Out for Perfectionism

Quite a few of my clients that have wanted help with stress and overwhelm have one thing in common. They are perfectionists. They want to do things to a very high standard. And that requires much more time.

It helps to know the difference between something being perfect and good enough. You might spend 20% of your time and effort to get something to be good enough, and then the remaining 80% to get it to be perfect. So we have the 80/20 rule here. When you strive to make something perfect, think about what else you could do with that time? What are the tasks that you’re not going to do at all if you do this one task perfectly?

It’s not easy to let go of perfectionism. I know that because I have perfectionism tendencies myself. I believe that there is an underlying fear of not being good enough behind perfectionism. Everything has to be perfect so that I can feel I’m good enough.

It is helpful to think about when it’s important to be a perfectionist and when it isn’t. If you are performing brain surgery, then you must do your best because it’s a life or death situation. But if you’re at home preparing a salad, maybe that doesn’t need to be completely perfect. Some things may need to be perfect, but there are others where it’s fine to be good enough. Make sure you can distinguish between the two. Don’t try being a perfectionist at everything.

7. Don’t Take on New Activities

When you have too much to do, it’s essential not to take on any more activities. It could be a new project at work or maybe joining a committee with a meaningful cause. Perhaps it’s buying a new course, doing a new exercise program, or a new diet. It feels good doing new things. You get a dopamine hit! But remember, that it is another thing to do.

When it comes to new courses, there are always 2 questions I ask myself. Firstly, is this course going to be of good value to me? And secondly, have I got the time to do it? Quite often, the answer to the second question is no. Make sure that you ask yourself these two questions when you consider buying a course or paying for something that will take more of your time. It’s vital to balance that reward and dopamine hit with having some space in your life. Create space to relax and take some time out.

8. Learn to Say No

When you’ve got too much to do, the last thing you want is to take on more. When people ask us to do something, we often say yes without thinking about the consequences. We don’t think about what that work is going to involve. Then we begin to regret it later. Here are a few tips for saying no.

Firstly, be direct and keep it simple. Say things like, no, I can’t do that or no, I don’t want to do that right now. Always be polite. Say thanks for asking, but I can’t do this at the moment. Practice saying no in your imagination.

Next, buy time. Sometimes rather than saying no, say, can I get back to you. That gives you time to think about how much time you would need, and if you can really fit it in. If you cannot do it, you have enough time to think about the best way to say no. Remember that when you say no to someone, you’re rejecting their request. You’re not rejecting the person. That’s very important.

Bear in mind that if you get into the habit of saying yes to everything, people will start asking you to do more and more. They will expect that of you. They’ll see you as a person who’s always going to say yes. They might take advantage of you because of that.

It’s always better to say no now than be resentful later for saying yes. Remember, your self-worth is not dependent on pleasing others.

9. Have a Mindful Moment

I learned this from Leo at Zen Habits. When you have too much to do, and you feel overwhelmed, use it as an opportunity to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness means being completely in the here and now. Not thinking about the past, not worrying about the future, just being completely in the present.

There are 2 ways you can practice this. The first is to focus completely on the one thing you’re doing right now without thinking about anything else. If you find this hard to do, you can try what Leo calls Mind Jumps.

Take 1 or 2 minutes out. Notice how your body feels while your mind is spinning. You’re going to feel the stress. And that’s not going to be a pleasant feeling. However, it’s not going to be the end of the world either. It’s just going to be a little bit uncomfortable.

 As you do that, observe how you feel. Then, start observing your surroundings. What can you see? What can you hear? What can you feel? Notice the thoughts that are coming up in your mind. How are they affecting your feelings? Maybe you’ll notice words like should or must or some negative phrases. Start becoming more and more aware of these.

10. Let It Go

The last one is to practice letting go. This also comes from Leo at Zen Habits.

When you have a big to-do list, and you have a high desire to get it all done, this desire can get in the way of actually doing it. This desire can affect your concentration and focus. Leo recommends letting go of the idea that you’re going to get it all done and accepting the reality. The reality is that you can do only one thing at a time. He also says, be grateful for the moment that you have right now instead of wishing for the moment that you don’t have. I believe this is very important.

Many people go through life just thinking about the future. They never really think about this actual moment. Practice being grateful for where you are right now. The only thing we can be certain of in life is that there’s always going to be more things on our to-do list! That’s the only constant. Taking time to be grateful for where you are right now is extremely important.

I found these 10 ways to deal with too much to do to be very effective, both for myself and my clients. I hope you will put them into practice and realize how powerful and helpful they can be for you too. 

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

What I learned from Creating My First 50 YouTube Videos

In July 2019, I published the 50th video on my Self-help for Life YouTube channel. I want to share with you what I have learned from creating and publishing just over 50 YouTube videos. This is a chance for you to see me applying the success principles that I talk about quite a lot.

The Self Help for Life YouTube channel started in September 2017. Now in August 2019, it has about 275 subscribers and about 1,500 monthly views. The success principles I used to achieve that could be applied to almost any goal in life. Whatever your goal is at the moment, you can make use of the success principles I used to create my first 50 YouTube videos.

Watch the Video Below:

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Listen to the Podcast

Consistency is the Key

The first thing that made a massive difference to my YouTube channel was becoming consistent. For the first 15 months, I recorded only 21 videos. I was pretty inconsistent. There was a month when I did 1 video per week. But sometimes, a whole month would go by without a video. In the chart below, you can see my productivity and the results.

The little squares at the bottom of the chart show the time when I recorded and uploaded videos. Significant gaps represent the time I didn’t record and upload any videos. The spikes happened when I promoted those videos to my email list subscribers. I realized that when I was not promoting videos to my email list, nobody was really watching them.

If you haven’t subscribed to my email list yet, then click here. You’ll also get your free copy of my 10 Strategies for Your Success ebook.

Have you ever set a goal, and after a year’s gone by, nothing much has changed? When you’re inconsistent with anything in life, it’s unrealistic to expect any long-term success or any real change.

From December 2018 up until now, I have been very consistent with recording and publishing 1 YouTube video per week. And that has added up to 34 videos. During that time, I missed only one week in April because I was on holiday. Let’s look at the chart now.

Again, spikes can be seen after the promotion of a new video to my email list. There are more spikes now because there are more videos to promote. But what you’ll start to notice from June onwards is that there’s an upward trend. That’s because people are also finding and watching my videos by other means. YouTube has started rewarding me because of my consistency by showing those videos to more people. And that’s why that growth has begun to increase.

Think about other goals you want to achieve in life. Let’s say you have a goal to build muscle. If you increase the number of trips to the gym, you’re going to start seeing longer-term muscle growth. So the key to being successful in anything is consistency!

Don’t Give Up If Results are Not Immediate

Between the time you start doing something, and the time you start seeing the results, there’s usually a delay. The key here is not to give up during that time.

Think about 2 people that both set a New Year’s resolution to get fit. The first person goes to the gym 3 times a week for the whole of January, then starts to drop off in February. By March he is going only once a week. The second person consistently goes 3 times a week in January, February, March, and for a whole year. Think about the results the second person is going to have over the first person. If the second person continues his 3 gym sessions per week routine for several years, the difference is going to be huge.

When mastering a sport or a musical instrument, the consistent practice is what will get you the results over time. When you are consistent for years, the results are going to be outstanding. In the case of my YouTube channel, I would say that 50% of my success came from being consistent.

Be Accountable to Someone

The next thing that made a significant change in my process of creating 50 YouTube videos was accountability. Back in November 2018, I hired a virtual assistant. A virtual assistant is someone that lives in another country and usually works from home. If you have an online business, hiring a virtual assistant can be very useful. They can help you with all kinds of tasks that you don’t have time for.

I hired Judy from the Philippines. Judy helps me with social media. She also creates the thumbnails for my videos and helps more people find my videos on YouTube. She also takes the audio from the video, adds an intro and an outro and turns it into a podcast episode.

I’m accountable to her now because if I don’t record a video, then she has less work to do. Since I’ve had Judy working for me, I’ve wanted to create a video every week. To some degree, she is earning a living from me. If I don’t give her enough work, that affects her, and I feel bad about that.

There are lots of different ways you can have accountability. You can be accountable to a good friend or on social media. Whatever your goal is, think about a way that you can be accountable. Accountability makes you more committed and more motivated to achieve your goal.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

One important thing I learned from creating 50 YouTube videos was how to expand my comfort zone.

Creating YouTube videos isn’t easy. Talking to a camera and not getting immediate feedback is quite hard. It feels like you’re talking to yourself at times. I’ve done some live presentations in the past. I could see if people were smiling, nodding their heads, and approving. I could also see if they were getting bored – falling asleep or looking at their phones. That allowed me to take immediate action to make the presentation more engaging.

It’s completely different when you make YouTube videos. You don’t see reactions, and you don’t get immediate feedback. There’s also a potential for rejection or criticism because people can leave negative comments. I haven’t had that experience yet, but I’m sure it will come at some point.

Very often, it’s when you go out of your comfort zone that you get the results faster. So think about what that could be for you. What is the one thing you could do that would take you out of your comfort zone and help you achieve your goals faster?

Have Patience

The next thing I learned from creating over 50 YouTube videos is that you’ve got to have incredible patience! Most people give up before they record and publish 50 videos. Why is that? Because they see no results or they see minimal progress. They come up with excuses or justifications, and they believe that they are the problem. In reality, they just didn’t give it enough time.

Let’s use affirmations as an example. A lot of people believe that affirmations don’t work. They repeat affirmations for 2, 3, or 4 weeks, and then give up. Think of affirmations as a bit like creating YouTube videos. What would it be like if you repeated affirmations daily for a whole year? I can pretty much guarantee that you would notice a significant change in your life.

The same goes for meditation. Let’s say you’re highly stressed and anxious. You want to give meditation a go. You meditate every day for 3 or 4 weeks, and you don’t see much benefit. Your stress levels are still quite high. Again, you’re not giving it enough time.

Consider the things in your life that you have given up in the past. Did you think that you weren’t good enough? Or you thought it wouldn’t work for you? Ask yourself, if I kept doing this, if I had given it more time, could I have got a better result? And if that’s the case, I encourage you to give it another go.

Compounding Effect

Creating over 50 YouTube videos taught me about the compounding effect. You put in the same amount of work week after week, but over time the results or the benefits from that work start to grow.

In the above Excel spreadsheet, you can see some of my YouTube statistics. Look at the second row, that’s the monthly subscriber increase. In January, I gained 6 subscribers. In February, it was up to 10; in March, I gained another 14. It dropped a little bit in April, down to 8. In May, it was 16, then June – 22, and July – 31. So by July, I was getting 5 times the number of YouTube subscribers as I was getting in January.

The number of views almost tripled. Impressions, which is the number of times that YouTube displays my video, increased nearly 5 times. So the same amount of effort – 1 video a week – but a massive increase in subscriber growth, views, and video reach.

What the compounding effect also gives you is momentum. If I stopped recording videos for two or three weeks, those figures would likely continue to increase.

The same could apply to the goal of becoming fit. For example, you work out regularly for a year and get really fit. Then you take a break for two or three weeks. You’re still going to have all the benefits of that strength and a good looking body.

Another example of a compound effect could be earning someone’s trust. When you start working for a new boss, or you’re in a new relationship, you put a lot of effort into earning that person’s trust. Eventually, you get to a point where they trust you completely. Then you can relax. You don’t need to put as much effort into maintaining that trust as you did into building it. So the whole idea is to put the same amount of effort in but to get better results over time.

Focus on Continual Improvement

The next thing I learned from creating over 50 YouTube videos is to focus on continual improvement.

My first videos didn’t have good sound quality. I used the internal microphone on the camera, and I sounded a bit tinny. Over time, I realized I could improve that. Now I use a Rode SmartLav+ microphone, which is connected to my iPhone. I record the sound separately and then sync it to the video. This gives me far better sound quality.

Also, I feel that my videos are tighter and more concise now. Certain filler words that I used to say quite a lot, I don’t say anymore. I watched and listened to my older videos to work out how I could improve. I kept learning from experience, practice, and feedback from other people. So over time, my videos improved quite a lot.

Measure Your Progress

After creating over 50 YouTube videos, I realized how important it is to measure your progress. That means to check in on a weekly or a monthly basis, figuring out what is working and what is not working. I typically check in on YouTube once a month. I like to see which videos are performing the best. For example, the video called How to Hypnotize Yourself is doing much better than any other at the moment.

What if you have a goal that is a little bit harder to measure? Let’s say it’s reducing stress or anxiety. You decide you’re going to do a few different things. Maybe you’re going to repeat some affirmations or meditate for 10 or 15 minutes a day. When you check in weekly, you can see if the symptoms of anxiety are starting to reduce. If so, you know that the activities that you’re doing are helping. If there is no significant change, maybe you should give it a bit more time, as I mentioned earlier. After that, you can try a different approach.

Whatever your goal is, there is usually some way that you can measure your progress. I highly encourage you to do that.

Re-purposing

The next thing that I learned from creating over 50 YouTube videos is something called re-purposing. That means doing the work once and then using it for other purposes or benefits.

Before I record my videos, I do a certain amount of preparation. I create an outline of what I’m going to say. Sometimes I do some further research on the internet. I try some things out on myself first. I think about examples from my own life that I could share. Then I record, edit and publish the video. After that, Judy turns that video into a podcast.

So I have already used the same work for two purposes. Once that’s done, I get the video transcribed. and turn it into a blog article. I used to do this myself. However, now Irina (my Virtual Writer) does this for me. So, for the same amount of research and preparation, I now have a video, a podcast, and a blog article. The same amount of effort but 3 different types of content.

Think creatively about how you could do that in some aspects of your life. Maybe you’re training up a new staff member. You could record the training. Then the next time you have a new staff member, you can send them the recording. Then they can ask you any questions they have. Or you could create what’s called a Standard Operating Procedure ( SOP) that has all the steps that they need to do to learn the task. Once you do that, next time you train someone, it will be much easier.

Modeling Other People

The last thing I learned from creating over 50 YouTube videos is modeling other people.

I’ve watched many other YouTubers in a personal development niche. I’ve learned a lot from them, and I’ve incorporated some of the things I learned into my videos. Sometimes it’s their presentation style or the way they hold themselves. If I see some great content on another video, I share it on mine. By watching other You Tubers, I realized that I rarely provided examples from my own life in my videos. So I’m starting to do that more now.

I also learned how long my videos should be, how to promote them and how to get more people to see them. So it’s vital with any goal to see who you can model and who you can learn from. It’s great if you can find someone that has already achieved that goal or is further ahead than you. You can learn so much from them.

I hope you found this article about my experience of creating my first 50 YouTube videos useful. As you can see, it’s a little bit different from my other articles. I thought it would be interesting to give you a case study of how I apply the success principles to something quite specific. Hopefully, you can see how the things I covered in this article can be used for almost any goal you want to achieve.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

The Difference Between Reacting and Responding

In this article, I will cover the crucial difference between reacting and responding. Once you know this and apply it to your life, your relationships with other people will improve immensely.

When you know the key difference between reacting and responding, you can deal calmly with other people, even the drama queens in your life!

When I learned the important difference between reacting and responding, several things changed in my life. I had far fewer arguments. I was able to take a step back and consider all the possible options. Situations where I would say something that I regretted later became less and less.

Keep reading to learn how to respond instead of react and notice your relationships with others improve dramatically.

Watch the Video Below:

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Listen to the Podcast

Reacting and Responding may sound similar, but they are very different.   Learn the differences and notice big changes in relationships with your partner, work colleagues, family, and friends.

Reacting tends to be emotional and impulsive. It’s something we do instinctively. It’s close to an animal-like behavior.

Responding is considering the situation with thought and intelligence. It’s having an awareness of the consequences of any action you might take.

What problems have been created in your life by reacting instead of responding so far? At the extreme, our prisons are chockablock with people that reacted. People that acted without thinking about the longer-term consequences.

Relationships are especially sensitive to reactive behavior. What have you said in the heat of the moment that you later regretted? Imagine how responding effectively could improve your relationships and give you greater happiness and peace.

Apply the strategies below to ensure that you’re responding and notice how your relationships improve.

1. Notice your Emotions

When you are with another person, notice any emotions that flare up, especially the negative ones. Having an awareness of your emotional state in these situations is an important first step. Why? because it gives you the ability to choose to respond differently before the emotions get too high.

It allows you to nip these emotions in the bud as soon as you notice them and then behave differently. It’s so important to do this before the emotions get too strong or intense. If you don’t, it’s very easy to act instinctively and in the same way that you acted before. This happens because blood flows away from the logical thinking part of the brain (the pre-frontal cortex) to the emotional brain (the amygdala).

2. Step Away

When you notice an emotion such as anger flaring up, step away from the situation if you can. This will give you some breathing space, even if it is just for a few seconds.  Use this time to analyze the situation and see it more objectively. It will also help you calm down and clear your head. A great thing to do during this time is my rapid relaxation exercise.

3. List Your Options

There are nearly always more ways to deal with something than you think.  You will find that the more relaxed you are, the more options appear. This is why if you can step away from the situation first that will always help.

Now ask yourself, what are the other ways that I could deal with this? What are the other ways that I could respond to this situation? There are often more ways than you previously thought. You just needed the mental space to find them.

4. Breathe

Just the act of breathing deeply and slowly will help you diffuse negative emotions, calm you down and clear your head. Contrary to popular belief, your mind can only focus on one thing at a time.  If you focus on breathing and nothing else, then you have no choice but to relax and calm down.  This will take some practice but it can be done.

When you take long, slow, deep breaths, you reduce the hormone cortisol in your body by up to 70%. That’s great for relieving stress. When you’re relaxed, you will naturally respond to other people in a level-headed way.

5. Consider the Consequences

I’m sure there have been times where you have said something or done something that you have later regretted.  If you can consider the consequences before acting, then you will act differently. This will then save you and the other person the pain of the old negative behavior. This will be much better for the relationship in the long-term.

Relationship conflicts can also arise when you think and act with a short-term view. In today’s instant society, we often focus on short term goals and outcomes. However, we often ignore the longer-term impact that this might have on our relationships.

Most people don’t think about the long-term effect of their behavior on others. So if you can do this, you’re immediately going to stand out from the crowd and have much better relationships with other people. You’ll develop great relationships built on trust and respect and you will have a more peaceful and happier life as well.

6. We are Humans, not Animals!

Animals only know how to react. They can’t step back and determine the best course of action like we can. If a cat sees a mouse, it will chase it without thinking. If a mouse sees a cat, it instinctively runs away.

Reacting instantly, automatically and unconsciously is rarely a good choice for us, unless it’s a life or death situation.

As humans, we can consider all the options and then make a conscious choice in how to respond. This will come with practice. Once you start responding to situations rather than reacting, it will begin to feel more familiar and automatic.

In stressful situations, it can be very easy to switch back into reacting. So remember to just take a step back and respond rather than doing that old reacting behavior.

7. Use Emotion to Your Advantage

When you are emotional about something, it means that its important or meaningful to you. It means that you care. So feeling emotional is a good thing, as long as it doesn’t lead to actions that could harm others or cause you to say or do something that you later regret.

Therefore listen to your emotions and give them your full attention. However, don’t let strong negative emotions overwhelm you.  They are there to give you a message. They exist to tell you that something is potentially wrong. So examine the situation objectively and then make a new considered decision and take a different course of action.

To Sum Up

Reacting too quickly is rarely the best option. Responding appropriately is so important in creating a successful and enjoyable life.

If you’re reacting, make the effort to respond to life’s challenges more intelligently and thoughtfully. It will benefit you more than the other person!

I hope these tips will help you when you next deal with difficult people at work or at home or in any other area of your life.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

How to Spend Less Than You Earn and Still Be Happy | Barefoot Investor

What is the key thing to having a good life and feeling happy? Many people believe that it’s the ability to spend as much money as you want. If there is a need to scrimp, save, or budget, that’s not a good life. It takes the fun out of it and can lead to unhappiness. To some degree, I believed this myself, until I read a book called The Barefoot Investor by Scott Pape.

The Barefoot Investor and Scott Pape have become household names within Australia. Back in 2014, Scott lost everything due to a bush fire – his home, farm, and business. But he was able to recover and get his life back on track relatively quickly compared to other people in the same situation. How come? Well, thanks to some good financial decisions he made before that misfortunate event.

I want to share with you how The Barefoot Investor helped me learn that it was not so hard to spend less than you earn. I’ve only read about a quarter of the book. So at the moment, I want to share with you some of the crucial components that I’ve implemented. These helped me save an extra $500 per month without a lot of effort. And certainly without any effect on my happiness.

Watch the Video Below:

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I am now going to cover the Barefoot Investor 6-step approach to budgeting and explain how to handle your money effectively. Once you learn and apply this, you’ll find it much easier to spend considerably less than you earn.

Step 1: Save an Initial $2,000

The Mojo Account

Having $2000 in a savings account is an essential first step. There is always a chance of some unexpected financial costs occurring. If you have that $2,000 buffer, you’ll be able to cope to at least some degree. Also, when you claim on your insurance, there’s often an excess to pay. So it’s good to have that backup money.

Scott Pape calls this money Mojo. He recommends putting it in a savings account – the Mojo account. When you have that money in a separate account, in a time of need, it will help you get your Mojo back. It gives you financial confidence. It makes you feel that you can cope if something unexpected happens. It also provides a head start in a financial crisis.

No Money for the Mojo Account?

What if you don’t have $2,000 in the bank right now? What can you do to get it? The first most obvious thing is to sell some of your stuff. Look around your home. Look for the things that you don’t use very much and sell them.

If there’s nothing you could sell, find a second job for a few weeks until you earn that $2,000.

For me, this step was very easy. I already had more than $2,000 in savings.

Step 2: Live on 60% of Your Income

Can You Do It?

You’ll need to do a bit of research to find out whether you can spend less than you earn. Basically, look at your outgoings. Look at your rent or your mortgage payments. Find out the cost of your utility, phone, and internet bills. Pay attention to your car, house, health, or life insurance. Calculate how much you spend on food each month and look at any loan repayments that you have. Ideally, they should all add up to only being 60% of your income.

What If You Can’t?

If you find that your living costs add up to more than 60% of your income, what can you do? There are only two things – earn more or spend less.

Earn more – You could find a second job for a while, or try to get a promotion at your current work. You could rent out a room, or start some part-time business.

Spend less – You could also try to save some money. Review your monthly expenses. See if there’s something that you could reduce or lose altogether. Maybe move to a smaller place and save on rent. You could also review your insurance premiums and your cover. Quite often, you can increase the excess and get a lower monthly premium.

Here in Australia, we have health insurance that comes with what’s called extras. These extras cover things like dentists, chiropractors, therapists, personal trainers, massages, or acupuncture. Typically, you can get 20 to 25% of the cost of those back.

It would be good to check how much you claimed back for those services in a year. Then look at how much you’re paying for the extras cover. I found I was paying more for the extras cover then I was claiming back. It just didn’t make sense to continue paying that, so I saved some money there.

My Experience

I’m going to give you some personal experience here. I found it reasonably easy to live on 60% of my income. My income does fluctuate from month to month because my business as a hypnotherapist means that I have good months and bad months.

So I did some things to reduce my costs. I reviewed my health insurance and changed my insurance company. I reviewed the internet service to see if we could make some savings there.

And for the last three months, I’ve been able to live on 60% of my income comfortably. The fact is, you can spend less than you earn more easily than you think.

Step 3: Find a Bank with No Fees

When I lived in the UK, free-banking was normal. But when I moved to Australia, it was common to pay $5 a month for running a current account. And also quite common to pay an annual fee on credit cards. If you use another bank’s ATMs, you pay a surcharge on that as well. This might be the case in your country also.

So an important step is to find a bank that doesn’t charge those fees. Another thing to watch as well are international transaction fees. I assumed that, when traveling to another country or buying things online, it was normal to pay some surcharge on my credit or debit card. But Scott Pape says in The Barefoot Investor that you shouldn’t be paying these. Some banks will refund or not charge international transaction fees. Here in Australia, one of the banks that does that is ING. It’s an online bank that doesn’t have any branches.

So do some research. If you’re paying any fees, including international transaction fees, find a bank that refunds them or doesn’t charge them in the first place. Look for online banks. See if you can find one in your country that has no bank fees and offers refunds for international transactions.

Step 4: Open 2 Current Accounts

Once you found a bank that charges no fees, you’re going to want to open two current accounts. With both of these bank accounts, you should have a debit card for transactions.

The Daily Expenses Account – 60% of Your Income

With online banking these days, you can often give bank accounts nicknames. So the first one you’re going to call Daily Expenses. This is the account where all your income is going to go. And this is also the account where 60% of your income will stay and cover your living expenses. Remember, we are talking about living on 60% of what you earn. The other 40% is going to go out of this account to other accounts. The goal is to spend less than you earn and save the rest of the money.

I’ll give you a really helpful tip here. Pay for everything with a debit card. I used to pay cash for a lot of little things, like coffees and lunches. Now I’m paying for everything by card. Why is this an excellent idea? Because it’s much easier to keep track of how much you’re spending. You just have to look at your statements. I highly recommend that you start paying for everything using your debit card.

The Splurge Account – 10% of Your Income

The second current account that you’re going to open is called Splurge. The Splurge account is for guilt-free spending on fun things. These would typically include eating out, drinks at the pub, massages, maybe buying books, CDs, or DVDs. It could also be for your Netflix or your Spotify subscription. Basically, for those things that make life enjoyable and fun. They’re not essential; you could manage without them. But those are the things that put a smile on your face and make you feel happy. The key here is, it’s guilt-free spending. This account should also have a debit card. A recommended guideline is to put 10% of your income in your Splurge account.

Step 5: Open 2 Savings Accounts

These accounts should be with a different bank to your Mojo account. Look around and see which bank has the highest interest rate on their savings accounts. Here in Australia, the typical interest rate is 1% at the moment. That is very, very low. But there are online banks that are willing to pay up to 2%. When you find a good deal, open two savings accounts. Some banks require you to have a current account to take advantage of any bonus savings interest. If this is the case, open your Daily Expenses and Splurge accounts with the same bank. Just check they don’t charge any fees first!

The Smile Account – 10% of Your Income

The first savings account you can call Smile. Why is that? This account is for longer-term purchases, things like holidays, a new computer or a new TV. It’s for items that you can’t save up for in one month. And as the name suggests, those are the things that will make you smile.

You should put 10% of your income into this account. So every month, you are going to transfer 10% of your income from your Daily Expenses account to this high-interest account. For me, the money from the Smile account is primarily used for holidays.

The Fire Extinguisher Account – 20% of Your Income

The second savings account you’re going to call Fire Extinguisher. Why? Because this account will be your financial fire extinguisher. You point it at whatever your financial fire is. If it’s paying off debts, point it at your debts. If it’s saving for a down payment or deposit for a house, then use this account for that.

If you don’t have debts and you already own a house, then you can point it towards unexpected costs. These could be health challenges, redundancy, or an economic downturn. You can also use it for different types of investments. Once you build up a bit of a nest egg in this Fire Extinguisher account, you can start using some of the money to invest in stocks and shares, or additional properties.

When Scott lost everything, he had a significant amount of money already set aside. That’s why he was able to recover fast even though he lost his house, farm, and business. He put that money towards rebuilding his life. The crucial reason to spend less than you earn is to have the money saved for unpredictable situations like these.

Sometimes it’s not possible to have two accounts with high-interest rates at the same bank, at least not in Australia. If you have to choose, use the higher interest rate account for Fire Extinguisher. You’re most likely to have more money in this than in your Smile account. A good recommendation is to put 20% of your income into the Fire Extinguisher account. That’s what I do. You can adjust it according to your needs.

Step 6: Automate!

Now set up regular automatic payments from Daily Expenses to all the other accounts. You can set these to go out the day after your salary comes in. That way, before you get a chance to spend this money, it will already have gone into other accounts.

Scott recommends setting 10% to be transferred to your Spurge account, 10% to your Smile account, and 20% to your Fire Extinguisher account. These percentages can be different for you, depending on your priorities. Now you can see what’s left in Daily Expenses and how much money you have for your living costs. You will realize it’s not that hard to spend less than you earn.

Let’s Summarize!

So let’s summarize the 6 steps. Step 1, find a way to save $2,000 and put that in a separate bank account called Mojo.

Step 2, find a way to live on 60% of your income by earning more and/or spending less

Step 3, find a bank account that has no fees, and this may well be an online bank.

Step 4, open 2 current accounts. One called Daily Expenses. This is where your salary goes in, and this is where your expenses go out. The second current account is called Splurge. This one is for your guilt-free expenses. Make sure you have a debit card for both of these accounts to track your spending.

Step 5, open two high-interest accounts. One is going to be called Smile. It’s for your holidays and other things that take a few months to save up for. The other one’s going to be called Fire Extinguisher, which is for your longer-term financial fires. It could be for paying off debt, saving up for a down payment for a house, or just putting towards unexpected costs in the future.

Step 6, automate to make the whole process easier.

My Results

I’ve been doing the barefoot investor process for three months now. While doing it, I’ve been able to save an extra $500 into my long-term savings. And that’s been relatively easy. I’ve been able to do it while enjoying my life pretty much at the same level as before. I’ve just been a bit more aware of what I’m spending money on. So I find this very useful. It’s helping me feel more confident now about my longer-term financial future.

So, I highly recommend that you check out The Barefoot Investor by Scott Pape. I ‘m sure you’ll find it extremely valuable, especially if you’re in Australia. The examples are Australian based, but if you live in another country, the principles are the same. You’ll just need to do a bit of your own research to find the best banks and policies for things like insurance.

You’ll soon realize that it’s very possible to spend less than you earn and still live a happy and fulfilled life. You will be amazed by the results!

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

The 7 Secrets to Achieving Big Goals

The process of achieving big goals in your life consists of several crucial steps. As the benefits and rewards from achieving a big goal do not come immediately, a different approach is required.

When achieving big goals, you need the motivation and desire to stick at it for several months or even years. It involves cultivating success habits and following success principles. It is important to combine this with consistent and effective action that continues until you achieve your big goal.

In this article, I cover the 7 secrets to achieving big goals. You will also learn what a big goal is and why it requires a different mindset to other goals in your life.

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What is a big goal? I would define a big goal as something like starting a new business, changing career or losing a significant amount of weight. It could also include gaining a new qualification, especially if you’re doing this part-time whilst maintaining a job or career. It’s any goal that is going to be life-changing for you and is probably going to take months or possibly years to achieve.

So here are 7 ways to help you achieve your big goals.

1.  Measure your Progress

With a big goal, the reward doesn’t come until you’ve either completed the goal or you’re close to the finish line. This could be quite a while into the future. In the meantime, you will want to break the big goal into smaller steps so that you can measure your progress. You can then check whether you are achieving the smaller steps or not.

That’s how you will measure your progress and check that you are getting closer to achieving your big goals. Also, give yourself a small reward when you complete each step. What gets rewarded gets repeated.

2. Perseverance

Perseverance is the ability to keep going when the results are not immediate.  This is often the case with larger long term goals. To create and fuel perseverance, get a clear vision of the end result and remind yourself of it regularly.  This will really help you do the work involved to achieve this goal.

Also by measuring your progress (as mentioned in step 1), you will enjoy seeing the completion of the smaller steps.  This will confirm that you are on the right track and will help you to keep persevering.

3.  Flexibility

This is the flexibility to change tack. If you continue doing the same thing, you’re likely to continue getting the same result. Now it’s important to do the same thing consistently for a while because it can sometimes take time to get results. I feel that 6 months is a good timeframe to evaluate if what you’re doing is working. Measure your progress and be prepared to change when a different approach is required. Your Why can stay the same, but sometimes the How needs to change. So it’s important to be flexible and to do different things whilst always keeping your end goal in mind, so you don’t go off track.

There is a balance here between being flexible and dabbling. When being flexible you give your approach a reasonable chance to succeed before changing tack. You can then make an objective decision on whether to try a different approach or not.

Dabbling, on the other hand, is trying something for a couple of months until something that seems better comes along. This happens a lot with diets, exercise programs, and online business opportunities. Doing something new is exciting, it gives you hope, a dopamine hit or adrenaline rush! This motivates, inspires and gives you the energy to take action. But it doesn’t last. You need to keep going long after these feelings disappear to determine objectively if what you are doing is working. So make sure you don’t dabble!

4.  Quieten the Noise

When attempting something new, or that stretches your comfort zone, your subconscious mind will try and protect you.  It does this through negative self-talk. Or by questioning why you’re doing this big goal or the work involved. Negative thoughts and self-talk then lead to negative feelings such as doubt, fear or a sense of not being good enough or worthy enough.

When this happens, remind yourself that this is okay and quite normal. It happens when doing new things, challenging yourself and striving to be more.

Here are some other great strategies to quieten the mental chatter. Use these when negative thoughts and self-talk continue to dominate your mind.

  • Mentally say the word “STOP” when you notice a negative thought. You can even say “STOP” out loud if you prefer.
  • Put a rubber band on your wrist. When you notice a negative thought, pull the rubber band and let go, so it snaps on your wrist. It will hurt a little. But it will force your mind back into the present moment.
  • Imagine turning down the volume of a negative thought. Visualize using a volume control knob or remote control device to reduce the volume of the self-talk.
  • Replace any words such as “should”, “have” or “must” with softer words such as “could”, “can” or “choose”.
  • Ignore the thoughts and take action anyway. This works great with negative feelings too, such as procrastination. Simply ignore the feelings and take action anyway. Act and the feeling you want will come.

I also encourage you to focus more on your goal and your dream. This is key to achieving big goals. Your brain then has less time to think about worries, fears, and doubts. And the same for when you experience negative feelings such as procrastination or a lack of motivation. Again, just ignore these feelings and take action anyway.

Remember, you have a choice over which thoughts and feelings to listen and pay attention too.

5. Daily Habits

This is a big one!  It involves taking consistent action on your goal every day. First thing in the morning can be a great time.  You’re fresh and there are fewer distractions.  That’s when I take the most action on the big things in my life. It’s a great way to start the day. I love the feeling of having done something towards the most important goals in my life early in the day.

Most people tend to overestimate the number of things they need to do in a day and underestimate what they can achieve in 2, 3 or 5 years. Take consistent action for months or even years at a time and amazing things start to happen!

Initially, you need qualities such as motivation, perseverance, and tenacity to get going. However, as you keep going, it will become a habit. Once you get into the habit of working on a particular goal it becomes easy to do the work involved consistently.

Related Article: How to Set and Achieve Your Goals

6.  Patience

Big goals rarely go to plan and sometimes they take a bit longer than you would want them to take.  I struggle with this one because I like things to happen fast! However, it is important to accept and be grateful for where you are now and the progress you have already made. 

With patience comes calmness and clear-headedness, two things you really want when you’re working on achieving big goals.

7.  Never Give Up!

I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before. Never give up on your ultimate goal or dream. This can be the single difference between someone that is successful and someone that’s not.  The people that fail simply give up, often extremely close to achieving the goal.

Sometimes you will need to make a dramatic change in direction to achieve your ultimate goal. That’s okay. If you have given something a fair shot, sometimes a dramatic change in approach is necessary. You will always retain the learnings, experiences, and how the previous approach helped you develop as a person. You can never lose that. So change your approach if you need to, but never give up on your ultimate goal or dream.

So these are my 7 tips for achieving big goals. I hope you found these useful. I wish you every success in applying these strategies to the big goals that you have in your life right now.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

How to Change Your Life in 100 Days

At certain points in our lives, we strongly feel the need to make some changes. What would you like to change in your life right now? What would make a significant difference for you? What would improve your lifestyle? Maybe, getting a great new job. Or, a change in your career. Perhaps, falling in love or losing 20kg or 45lb. Maybe, overcoming anxiety or depression.

Whatever it is for you, I’m going to share with you a process that will help you significantly change your life in 100 days or less.

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How I Have Changed My Life in 100 Days

Reflecting on my life, I’ve noticed that I am pretty good at making significant life changes in 100 days or less. My first life change happened when I went to university. At school, I was a quiet, shy kid. I had a couple of friends. I didn’t do the social things that most people my age were doing.

Then, the time came to go to university. Since it was located in another city, I had to move. I saw that as a wonderful opportunity! I was going to be in a different place with entirely new people. So, I decided to change my life. I was determined to become a more confident, extrovert, and sociable person. During my first 100 days at university, I changed a lot as a person. I really came out of my shell.

Then in my late 20s, I went from being single with no dates to regular dating and meeting my wife. Then from a boring job at London Underground to becoming a software trainer in a top 10 law firm.

A few years later, I moved from London to Sydney and achieved this in 100 days as well.

More recently, setting up my hypnotherapy practice was part of a 100-day challenge. In another 100-day challenge, I launched my Self Help for Life website, YouTube channel and Podcast.

Intense Desire and a Plan

In all of these significant life changes that I did in 100 days or less, there were always two things present. First of all, an intense desire. I really wanted that change to happen. And secondly, a plan. I had a detailed and worked out plan.

So, do you want to change your life in 100 days or less but don’t know where to start? If so, keep reading.  I will lead you through a process that will help you achieve your goals in 100 days or less.

The Initial Steps – Setting Yourself Up for Success

1. Set Clear Goals

Get clear on what you’re aiming for. Is it a change of career or an increase in income? Is it falling in love or losing weight?

Ensure that you set a SMART Goal.  SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound.  Click here to learn more about setting SMART goals.

My Change of Career Challenge

Here is an example from my own life. Back in 2000, I wanted to change my career and become an IT trainer. I didn’t have any training qualifications at the time, just a little bit of experience. I could get a qualification, but that required time and money. My goal was to get a job as an IT trainer within 3 months without getting a qualification. It was a very specific goal.

Within 3 months, I did get a job as an IT trainer in one of the top 10 law firms. I had to take a bit of a salary drop, but I didn’t mind. Enjoyment, fulfillment, and satisfaction were much more important to me. Because I enjoyed the job, I got very good at it. So within 3 years, I moved to another law firm, and I got a better salary.

When you change your career to start doing something you enjoy, you get enthusiastic. That enthusiasm helps you provide a lot more value. Consequently, you get rewarded financially for that.

Phrase Your Goals as Affirmations

I find it very helpful to phrase my goals as affirmations. For example, I will easily lose 20kg or 45lb, I will easily increase my confidence, or I will easily find a new job. Repeat them every day. If you want to learn more about goal setting, check my article on how to set and achieve your goals.

2. Set Specific Non-negotiable Deadlines

To change your life in 100 days, you need to know what your goal is and then decide when you’re going to achieve it. In this case, its within 100 days.

You might also want to set some deadlines for smaller tasks you need to do to achieve that goal. Deadlines are very important because they spur you into action. Think back to the exams and assignments at school and how they motivated you to study. We also have deadlines at work. We do our best to achieve those deadlines because we don’t want to let people down. So, it’s essential to set your own non-negotiable deadlines.

Deadlines Spur You into Action

Here is an example of how a deadline spurred me into action. In 2009, my wife and I decided to move from London, UK to Sydney, Australia. I resigned from my job in London. I had to give 3-month’s notice, so that kicked off the process.

Then there were other things to do. I wanted to get a job in Sydney before we got there. We had to get rid of all the things that we didn’t want to take to Australia. We also had the ultimate deadline – the flight we booked for Sydney.

We set a date to move out of our apartment in London that we linked to that ultimate deadline. We had to have everything shipped by that time. When I look back, it’s just amazing how much we got done. Those deadlines spurred us into action.

3. Know Your Why

Get clear on your Why. Why do you want to achieve that goal? What’s the benefit? Having more money? Finding love? Or, maybe gaining confidence?

When I changed my job and became an IT trainer, my Why was clear. I wanted a job that would be satisfying, fulfilling, and enjoyable. Think about the reasons you want to achieve your goals.

4. Create an Action Plan

We know the What, the When, and the Why. Now let’s focus on the How.

Brainstorm!

First of all, brainstorm all the different things you can do to achieve this goal. Write everything down, however bizarre or weird it seems to be. Once you’ve done that, decide on the action steps that look realistic. Then work out which steps to do when.

What action steps can you complete in the first 20 days, then 40, 60, 80, and finally – 100 days. This will be your roadmap of what you need to do to change your life in 100 days.

Brainstorming My Hypnotherapy Business

My first brainstorming for my hypnotherapy business was during my hypnotherapy training. I did this together with my group. We all jotted down the things that we would need to do to get our business off the ground. After that, we worked out the most important things. I realized I needed to find a consulting room and get a business bank account. I also had to get my professional membership with the Australian Hypnotherapists Association. And I needed to create a website and do some advertising. For all these goals, I set up deadlines or final dates to achieve them.

I now had my road map. Apart from making my 100-day challenge easier, it also helped me check my progress. I could easily see whether I was on or off track.

5. Decide and Commit

The next initial step is to decide when you’re going to work on achieving your goals. Set aside time and stick to it. Maybe, early in the morning before you do anything else. Perhaps a couple of hours in the evening. I have personally always found mornings to be the best time. I love the feeling of getting things done before breakfast or before going to work.

The important thing is that you’re consistent. You should work on your goal 6 days a week for at least 30 minutes. Ideally, it should be more if you want to get the very best results. Remember that this is a life-changing goal. So you want to make it a priority in your life.

6. Accountability

Find a Mentor

It’s much harder to miss a goal when someone else knows about it. It could be a professional, like a coach, mentor, or a personal trainer. Professionals know how to motivate you and inspire you. They can see your blind spots and teach you crucial things. Most importantly, they can hold you accountable.

If you’d like me to be your coach or mentor, then go here to find further details.

Find an Accountability Buddy

The other option is to find a friend that you can be accountable to. Pick the right friend, someone who believes in you. But who can also hold you accountable, follow up on you and make sure you’re making progress.

Post on Social Media

You can also put your goals and your action plans on social media. Then, they’re out there for the whole world or your followers to check up on you and make sure you’re accountable.

Let’s recap. We’ve set a clear goal, we’ve set our non-negotiable deadlines, we’ve created an action plan. We decided when we’re going to commit and take action on this goal, and we’ve got some accountability. Let’s move on to the weekly steps.

Your Weekly Steps To Success

1. Create a List of Weekly Tasks

What are the things you need to do this week to get closer to achieving your goal? Create weekly tasks that will help you change your life in 100 days. These tasks should be things that are under your control. For example, if you’re looking for a new job, it could be to send off your CV or resume to 10 companies. It could be to run or walk for 30 minutes, 5 times a week, if you’re trying to lose weight.

I usually set these weekly tasks on a Sunday. I keep it really simple. I make a to-do list in Evernote. One of my current 100-day challenge goals has been to have a greater balance in life. So some of my weekly tasks have included getting in touch and meeting up with 1 friend per week. The other is doing weight training 3 times a week. Also, doing some self-development or a morning ritual, 4 times a week, for 30 minutes.

2. After-Action Review

The next weekly task is to do an after-action review. The first part of this review is to score yourself. 1 is not productive, 2 is poor, 3 is average, 4 is good, and 5 is exceptional. It’s a bit like doing a school report, except you are both the teacher and the student.

Next, write down all the things that you achieved that week. Write down your actions, strategies, and lucky breaks that led you to success. Then identify the actions, attitudes, and obstacles that negatively affected your progress. Once you’ve done that, come up with your future actions. You now know what didn’t go so well last week. What are you going to do next week to get back on track based on that?

I believe that the weekly after-action review is crucial to your success in changing your life in 100 days. It will prevent you from going down a rabbit hole, which is doing a task for far longer than you need to. Or even worse, doing a task that is not helping you towards your goal. The after-action review enables you to identify what’s working and what’s not working.

I do this religiously every week now. After recent weekly after-action reviews, I have identified that I’m super consistent and focused on creating content for Self Help for Life. But also that I’m spending very little time on my own self-development.

3. Check-in with Your Accountability Buddy or on Social Media

If you have an accountability buddy, a mentor, or a coach, send them your after-action review. Ask for their input. Or, post it on social media. It’s important for two reasons.

Firstly, it makes sure you do the after-action review in the first place. You’re accountable for doing that. And secondly, it allows you to explain to someone else where you came up short and how you’re going to change that.

4. Celebrate Your Wins!

Your final weekly task is to celebrate. Remember that what gets rewarded gets repeated. So, celebrate what you did well and give yourself a little treat. That will inspire and motivate you to achieve even bigger things in the next week.

Your Daily Steps to Success

There are some things you will want to do every day to change your life in 100 days. The first thing, ideally as soon as you get out of bed, is to spend 15 minutes getting inspired, motivated, and educated. Watch a motivating video, listen to a motivating podcast, or read a few pages of a self-help book. You need to feel motivated. You need the inspiration to take action. You also need education to know what to do. It’s essential to have a success mindset. Remember that if you want to achieve something amazing in 100 days or less, you can no longer do what you used to do. You’ll need to develop different attitudes, skills, and behaviors to what you normally do.

1. Review the 100-day Challenge Goal

One of the initial steps you did right at the start was to set a SMART goal. You need to review that goal, read it out, read it out loud if you can, maybe even write it down. Make sure to review it every day. Also, examine the tasks and actions you did the day before. Think about what you achieved yesterday and what you didn’t achieve?

2. Review Your Weekly Action Plan

The action plan consists of tasks that you set after you did your after-action review. Decide what you’re going to do today. Write it down as a to-do list. I usually do this in Evernote. You’re going to end up with a list of things that you will commit to doing today. That’s very important. Don’t write too much down on that list. You want to be confident that you can do all those things today.

3. Take Action!

Make sure that you accomplish all the tasks that you set yourself for the day. Dedicate at least 30 minutes every day to these tasks, ideally a lot more. But if you can commit to a minimum of 30 minutes, that will keep the goal in your mind. There will be days when you won’t feel like taking action. I have days like that. I’m sure you do, too. The key here is – to just do it, to get the work done. That will lead to the feeling that you want it. Remember that the alignment with your goals is much more important than how you feel at the moment.

Ready to Make a Change in Your Life in 100 days?

These are the most important steps you have to do to change your life in 100 days. If you are determined to make a huge change in the next 100 days, check out the 100-day challenge. I’ve been doing the 100-day challenge now for the fourth time. This time I doubled the number of hypnotherapy clients that I see weekly. I highly recommend and really believe in this program!

I hope you are now ready to change your life in 100 days. Follow the steps, be determined, and keep going! If you need any help, feel free to reach out to me. Good luck!

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

How to Permanently Change Limiting Beliefs

What do you think holds you back in life? Is it a lack of skill or ability?  More often than not, it is a limiting belief.  In this article, I’m going to cover how to identify and change limiting beliefs, so that you can move forward with your life.

Limiting beliefs often develop in childhood.  They suited us then, but as we become adults, these beliefs start to get in our way and hamper our progress.  This is why it is so important to learn how to change limiting beliefs that now hold you back.

In this article, I cover a 9-step process to help you change limiting beliefs in all areas of life.  This is a very easy and structured process that you can apply to any belief that you feel limits you in some way.

Watch the Video Below:

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What Are Beliefs?

Beliefs are psychological rules that influence our thoughts and filter our experience of reality. We filter information by deleting, distorting, and generalizing things about our experience.

Beliefs are assumptions about ourselves and other people. They are also our expectations of how the world should be. They help us understand and make sense of the world by providing meaning and certainty.

Beliefs are our interpretation of the things we see, feel, hear, taste, or smell. They are not facts, so they are not true or false. However, they can be mistaken as facts if deeply rooted. Beliefs are conclusions drawn from life experiences, especially those from childhood and younger years.

As we become adults, our life changes, but many of our beliefs don’t change. They start to get in our way. These past beliefs can create limitations on what you believe you can do right now.

How Are Beliefs Created?

Beliefs are created and then ingrained due to repeated situations or events. At first, they are just thoughts. They are based on facts, evidence, reference experiences, or other people.

Over time, thoughts become opinions. You keep thinking about them repetitively and keep taking the same action.

Opinions then turn into beliefs. Beliefs are stronger, more stable, and more robust than opinions.

Beliefs can then turn into convictions. They become so ingrained that they can’t be changed even if all the evidence is to the contrary.

A Baby Elephant and a Flee

I’m now going to give you two examples of how a belief created earlier in life becomes less useful later on.

In India, baby elephants are tied to stumps of trees by ropes. The baby elephant realizes it’s bound to the tree. It can’t move much, so it doesn’t. Then the baby elephant grows. This grown elephant has the strength to take the tree stump down easily. Or break the rope. But it doesn’t because it believes it can’t.

Another example is the flea experiment. A flea is put in a jar with the lid off. Naturally, it jumps out of the jar. It is put back into the jar, but this time, with the lid on. The flea jumps and hits the top. That hurts, so it jolts back down. Over time, it starts jumping less high because it doesn’t want the pain of hitting the lid.

When the lid is taken off, the flea keeps jumping but not quite to the top of the jar. It associates pain with jumping higher. So, it jumps to the height where it feels comfortable. The flea can jump out of that jar anytime and become free. But it won’t because it doesn’t believe it can.

Remove The Emotional Superglue

In both examples, the belief created was useful at first. And it was supported by relevant evidence. There were also some emotions involved, especially in the case of the flea. Hitting the top of the lid was an uncomfortable feeling. So, to break a limiting belief, the first step is to get rid of any emotions.

Imagine a negative belief is like a tabletop. Its legs represent experiences and evidence that back up that belief. The superglue holding those table legs to the tabletop represents the emotions. So to change limiting beliefs, you need to remove the emotional superglue. Then knock out the legs (the evidence that formed the belief). The table will then fall over.

The 9 Step Process to Change Limiting Beliefs

Now, I’m going to cover my 9-step process to help you change a limiting belief.

1. Identify the Limiting Belief

The limiting belief could be an “I am” statement. For example,

  • I am disorganized.
  • I am bad at public speaking.
  • I am a procrastinator.

It could also be about the world in general. For example,

  • I’ll never be able to afford to buy a house.
  • It’s so competitive I can’t keep up.

Remember, these beliefs are not true or false. They’re just helpful or unhelpful. 

2. Examine the Belief

Create a list of what is helpful and not helpful about this belief. Then decide if that belief helps you or is more of a hindrance to your life.

Let’s use exercising as an example. I’m bad at working out and keeping fit.

What is helpful about this belief?

  • It can help me avoid pain and discomfort.
  • Instead of exercising, I could do other useful things.

What is unhelpful about this belief?

  • If I don’t work out, I could get sick later in life.
  • Working out could give me more energy.
  • I could get more things done.
  • I used to be bad at lots of things, but I’ve improved with practice.

Based on the above evidence, decide whether that belief is worth changing or not.

3. Identify the Core Belief Behind It

Behind every belief, there is a fundamental core belief. Here are the main core beliefs.

  • I am not good enough.
  • I am not worthy enough.
  • I don’t deserve this.
  • The world is not a safe place for me.
  • I am powerless.
  • Love and relationships equal pain.

I wonder which of these core beliefs could be behind your limiting belief? By identifying the limiting core belief, you can work directly to change the core belief that drives this and other limiting beliefs. This can be very powerful and enables you to smash other limiting beliefs at the same time.

In the case of my exercise example, the core belief is probably something like I’m not good enough. So, I’m bad at working out and keeping fit because I’m not good enough.

4. Choose a More Useful Belief

A key step to change limiting beliefs is to identify a more useful belief. This is often the opposite of the old limiting belief. Also include the opposite core belief as well. These would be:

  • I am good enough.
  • I am worthy enough.
  • I deserve this.
  • The world is a safe place for me.
  • I am powerful and can influence my world.
  • Love and relationships equal pleasure.

Here are some examples of new empowering beliefs that also incorporate a new positive core belief.

  • I can find a partner that is perfect for me and have a pleasurable and happy relationship. 
  • I deserve to earn as much as I want and I have the mindset, skills and abilities to do that.
  • I am powerful and can influence my world by making small changes every day.

5. Identify The Emotional and Other Payoffs

We usually have some emotional benefits in keeping the limiting belief. These hold the limiting belief in place.

I Can’t Make Money

Let’s take the belief I can’t make more money and become rich, as an example. The emotional benefits or payoffs could be:

  • I can commiserate with friends who also say that they are poor.
  • I can give up trying to make more money and have an easy life instead.
  • I can avoid the extra perceived stress of becoming rich.

I Can’t Talk to the Opposite Sex

What about the limiting belief I can’t talk to the opposite sex? Some of the emotional payoffs could be:

  • I can enjoy going out with my mates.
  • I don’t need to embarrass myself again.
  • I can avoid the complications of being in a relationship.

I’m Bad at Exercise

For the example of being bad at exercise and fitness, some of the emotional benefits could be:

  • It feels comfortable not doing it.
  • I don’t have to put in the work and experience the pain.
  • I don’t need to worry about accidentally injuring myself.

6. Decide If the Emotional Payoff Is Still Worth It

Look at the emotional payoffs that you’ve identified in step 5. Decide whether the limiting belief is worth keeping. If it is, that’s fine. You can stay with that belief.

But if you decide that it’s not, then it’s time to change that belief right now. The act of deciding will start to dissolve that emotional superglue that’s keeping the limiting belief in place.

7. Reframe Existing Evidence

Remember, a belief is our best interpretation based on the evidence we had at the time. But things change. So it’s time to look at the evidence and interpret it in a new way.

Play devil’s advocate! Go and find a different meaning to the existing evidence.

Money Example

Here are some reframes for the money example.

  • Commiserating with friends who are also poor is going to get boring after a while, and it won’t help me.
  • Having an easy life could be nice, but I would never feel truly happy. I would have this nagging doubt in my mind that I could have achieved more.
  • Having a lot of money makes life so much easier.

You can see how I’m reframing the existing evidence here and giving it a new meaning.

Exercise Example

Let’s reframe the evidence around a limiting belief of exercise.

  • If I take things steadily and sensibly, the risk of injuring myself is minimal.
  • I could hurt myself more in the long term by not being active.
  • Anything new feels uncomfortable. Doing what’s uncomfortable builds up mental and physical resilience, and will help me reduce stress.

8. Find New Evidence to Support the New Belief

We’ve already reframed existing evidence. Now we’re going to look for new evidence.

Beliefs focus your mind on certain things. You ignore other evidence that does not match that belief. For instance, if you believe you’re unattractive, you’re more likely to notice funny looks from others. You’re more likely to look at the bits that you don’t like in the mirror. You’re more likely to ignore the smiles, greetings, and compliments. Or you’ll discount them as not relevant. You filter out any information that’s not in line with that limiting belief. This is why limiting beliefs tend to get worse over time.

You have to find new evidence to prove that the old evidence and old beliefs are wrong. You have to knock out those table legs that are behind the limiting belief. Go hunting for new proof and new evidence. Google it, read books, articles, find information that supports that new belief. They’re going to be new legs for the table of your new belief.

Money Example

Let’s take the example of I can earn as much as I want to. New evidence could be:

  • There are people out there with less intelligence, knowledge, and experience that make more money than me.
  • There are plenty of rich people out there that are happy and relaxed.

Exercise Example

In the exercise example, my new belief is exercise is a skill that I can get good at, enjoy, and reap the health benefits. New evidence to support that belief could include:

  • There are people in far worse health than me that have massively improved their health by exercising regularly.
  • All the successful people that I know do regular physical activity and make it a priority in their life. So, to be successful, I need to be physically active.

9. Use Affirmations Correctly

The final step to change limiting beliefs involves using affirmations correctly. If the affirmation is not believable, you’re going to get a conflict. So it’s good to use stepping-stone affirmations. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say that you want to change the belief that you don’t deserve success. You decide to replace this with I deserve to be successful. You keep saying this to yourself over and over again. But something happens that you didn’t expect. You experienced some emotional resistance. Why? Because the affirmation was not believable. It was too much the opposite of the old belief.

The solution is to use stepping-stone affirmations. For example, I want to feel that I deserve to become a good mom, dad, tennis player, or whatever you want. Or, when I do my best, the success that I feel I deserve is on its way. I am putting it under my control.

Once you say those affirmations often enough, you get to a point where you can say, I deserve to be successful. You feel that congruently in your body.

Let’s go back to my exercise example. Stepping-stone affirmations could be, every day, I get a little bit better with my exercise routine. Or, the more I exercise, the more I notice improvements to my health.

Take Action!

I hope you found this article on how to change your limiting beliefs useful. Now, identify one, two, or three limiting beliefs you want to change, and go through all these steps yourself. It’s one thing to know something, but it’s much better to do it and experience it. I wish you luck in changing your limiting beliefs and making your life better!

The inspiration and much of the information for this article came from a great YouTube video on Changing Beliefs by Teal Swan. Feel free to watch this video here.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul