The quality and quantity of your
sleep are essential for your physical, emotional, and mental health. Are you
making sleep a priority in your life? Or are you cutting back on sleep because
you feel that other things are more important?
This article will motivate you to make sleep a priority in your life. I’ll also talk about the different types of sleep and some simple things you can do to improve your sleep quality.
Sleep is the ultimate form of rest and recovery. It is essential for our mental and physical health. It seems to be so underrated. Few people think of making it a priority in their life.
After a good night’s sleep you will feel great. You’ll feel that you can take on the world! You will focus better and face your challenges with confidence. A poor night’s sleep will leave you feeling tired, grumpy, and easily distracted. Even simple tasks can seem hard and take more time to finish. You may also make silly mistakes.
Watch the Video Below:
Listen to the Podcast
The Effects of
Not Getting Enough Sleep
There is a lot of useful information on how to improve your sleep. But this won’t help if you don’t have the motivation to do it. So I will start by covering the adverse effects on your body and mind that can occur from regularly sleeping less than 6 to 7 hours a night.
1. Increased
Risk of Cancer and Dementia
Sleeping for less than 6 to 7 hours
a night regularly, dramatically reduces your immune system. It doubles the risk
of cancer. It increases your chances of getting Alzheimer’s or another type of
dementia. Margaret Thatcher, the UK prime minister in the 80s, used to thrive
on 4 or 5 hours of sleep. She ended up getting dementia. Ronald Reagan did the
same thing, and he got dementia as well.
2. Being
Diagnosed as Pre-Diabetic
If you sleep less than 6 hours a
night for just one week, you could be diagnosed as being pre-diabetic. This
really surprised me! Just one week of poor sleep can affect your blood sugar so
much that you could be mistakenly diagnosed as pre-diabetic.
3. Increased
Risk of Heart Attack and Stroke
A lack of sleep is not good for your
heart. It increases the chances of your coronary arteries becoming blocked. This
can lead to heart attacks and strokes.
4. Hormone Imbalances
Not getting enough sleep switches
off certain hormones and increases other hormones. For example, when you lack
sleep, the “I’m hungry” hormone increases, and the “I’m satisfied” hormone decreases.
If you don’t sleep well, you’re going to feel hungry and eat more. That’s
important if you are trying to lose weight. Also, you will lose lean muscle
rather than fat. I believe the body wants to keep the fat so it can convert it
into energy, if you continue to deprive yourself of sleep.
5. Increased
Anxiety and Depression
Lack of sleep can dramatically affect your mental health. Just 3 nights of poor sleep can massively increase your anxiety. Sleep deprivation is also linked to depression.
Pretty much every organ in your body enjoys good quality sleep and is negatively affected by persistent poor sleep. If you don’t sleep enough, you are at risk of dying at a younger age or developing specific health problems. I hope you now realize how essential it is to make sleep a priority in your life.
The 3 Types of
Sleep
Not all sleep is the same. During
the night, we typically go through 3 phases of sleep.
1. Deep Sleep
Deep sleep is rejuvenating. It allows your body to heal. Your body requires deep sleep. Your brain will prioritize deep sleep over the other types of sleep. Therefore, deep sleep happens earlier in the night.
2. REM sleep
REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement. REM sleep is your dream sleep. This type of sleep is vital for your mental health. It’s almost like your in-built therapy system. Your thoughts of the day are being processed and put into different places, for example, your long-term memory. It happens later in the night.
3. Light Sleep
Light sleep is somewhere between
deep and REM sleep. Around 50% of your total sleep is light sleep.
There are a few different ways to track your sleep, and I have tried some of them. I have used a Fitbit tracker and sleep apps on my phone. Now, I use the Oura ring. The Oura ring is great because it tracks the different types of sleep, but also your heart rate and body temperature. If you’re interested in finding out more about the Oura ring, you can check it out here.
How to Improve
Your Sleep.
So you’ve decided to make your sleep a priority. What next? Well, there is a lot of great content online on how to improve your sleep. Therefore, I will not go into too much detail here. I’m just going to share with you a few tips that have helped me personally.
1. Avoid
Computers and Phones Before Going to Sleep
One thing I’ve noticed is that being
on my computer or phone too late into the evening seems to affect my sleep.
There are a couple of reasons for that.
The first is mental stimulation. When
I work too late into the evening on my computer, I find that my mind is more
active, and this affects the quality of my sleep.
The second is the light from
computer or phone screens. This is known as blue light. It tricks your body
into thinking it’s still daylight. There are many products, like glasses and
screen filters, that you can use to reduce the blue light.
2. Relax 1 Hour
Before Bed
It is always good to relax an hour
before going to bed. The things that can help are meditation, physical
relaxation, taking a bath, or reading. If you are reading, choose a book that doesn’t
require too much thought or brain stimulation. I avoid personal development
books and read something lighter.
3. Go to Sleep
and Get Up at a Regular Time
If a good night’s sleep is a priority to you, this can be very helpful. But I’m not super strict about it. I’ll typically try to be in bed around 10:30pm and get up at around 6:00am. At weekends, I often go to bed later at 11:30pm and get up at 7:00 or 7:30am, particularly if I feel a need to catch up on sleep.
4. Think
Positive Thoughts
I like to think positive thoughts or list things I’m grateful for just before going to sleep. I’ve found that this works very well for me. The thoughts you have when you go to sleep, are often the same thoughts you have when you wake up in the morning. They can also influence your dreams.
When you go to bed, focus on what you want, on your dreams, goals, and vision. Your unconscious mind will start looking for ways to achieve them. For example, you may come up with a dream that gives you the answer to your problem. Also, think about the things you are grateful for.
5. Do Not Eat
Too Late
When you eat a large meal less than
2 hours before you go to sleep, your body will still be busy digesting food. As
a result, your heart rate will be higher when you go to sleep. And to get
quality deep sleep, you need your heart rate to be lower, especially during the
first 4 hours of the night. A lower heart rate increases the quality and
quantity of your deep sleep which normally occurs earlier in the night.
6. Avoid
Alcohol
Many people think that drinking some
alcohol will help them get to sleep. It will help you initially. You might get
some deep sleep, but you will get virtually no REM sleep. This means that your
mental health will suffer. Your brain will not get the opportunity to process
things and put them into long-term memory. I have also found that drinking
alcohol before going to sleep increases my heart rate and body temperature.
If you would like to monitor your sleep, then I highly recommend the Oura ring. I use the Oura ring every night to track my sleep phases, heart rate, body temperature and the overall quality and quantity of my sleep. It’s been a game-changer for me.
I can now see the influence of
working or eating late on my sleep. I can proactively work on improving my
sleep and get accurate feedback the following morning.
The Oura ring will also tell you when you need to rest and take it easy. As it tracks your body temperature, it can also tell you when you’re coming down with an illness.
I hope I convinced you to make your sleep a priority. If you do that, you will certainly notice the benefits. Positive thinking is much harder when you’re doing it on less than 6 hours of sleep. So make sleep a priority and see how your mental health improves.
Your body will be grateful too, and your thoughts will naturally be more positive. It’s incredible how such a small thing like improving your sleep, can have a huge positive impact on your life.
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
https://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Sleep-a-priority-self-help-for-life.jpg4501200Paul Thomashttp://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Self-Help-Logo-white-BG-blue-095da1-.pngPaul Thomas2020-01-15 06:44:002023-07-08 10:31:50Why You Must Make Sleep a Priority
In this article, I go behind the scenes and reveal some of my achievements in business and in life during 2019. I’ll also cover travel, music and some of the people that inspired me and that I learned from during 2019. I’ll include some courses that I went on, gadgets that I bought, and books that I read. So this article is all about me! However, it contains a lot of information and resources to help you achieve your big goals in 2020. I hope it will also motivate and inspire you to change your life for the better in 2020.
Self Help for Life started in October 2017. In 2018, I was still finding my way and spending a lot of time learning and building the foundations. In 2019, I really increased the amount of content that I was producing and this is now starting to pay off!
YouTube Channel
In 2019, we published 46 videos on the Self Help for Life YouTube channel. This was almost one a week and double the number of videos published in 2018.
The most popular video by far is How to Hypnotize Yourself with almost 5,000 views. Other popular videos published in 2019 are listed below.
The number of YouTube subscribers tripled from 167 to over 500. At the beginning of the year, I set a goal to have over 500 subscribers by the end of 2019. Back in January, this goal seemed extremely challenging and I had doubts over whether I could achieve it. However, I kept the goal in mind and focussed on producing high-quality videos every week. I hit 200 subscribers during April, 300 during July, 400 during September and 500 in early December.
Podcast
Each YouTube video is turned into a Podcast Episode and published on the Self Help for Life Podcast. So that was 46 podcast episodes during 2019. The number of weekly podcast listeners has grown from 580 to over 1500. Each episode typically gets over 1000 plays with some being closer to 2000. Far more people listen to my Podcast Episodes than watch my videos. The podcast is now entirely managed by my virtual assistant Judy. I give her an audio file of the video and she does the rest! Here is a screenshot showing some Podcast stats.
Blog Articles
In 2019, we published 35 blog articles on the Self Help for Life website. This was roughly one every 10 days. For the first half of 2019, I was writing the blog articles myself and this took a lot of time. One of my goals for 2019, was to hire a professional writer that could do this task for me. I started off using iWriter with mixed success. One of the challenges with a service like iWriter is that you get a different writer each time, so the quality can vary quite a lot.
I then advertised for a writer on Upwork. I interviewed people from all over the world and it was quite a fun process. I decided to hire Irina and she lives in Serbia. I give her a transcript of the video and my original video research notes and she writes most of the blog articles. However, I decided to write this one myself, so I could keep my hand in.
The number of website visitors has increased massively during 2019. It started at around 250 visitors per month in January. It’s now at over 2,000 visitors per month. See the chart below for further details.
100 Visitors a Day Goal
A goal for 2019 was to have over 100 people per day watching my videos, listening to my podcasts or reading my articles. I achieved this with the Podcast with over 300 daily listeners. I fell short on this goal for YouTube. It’s currently at around 60 people watching my videos daily. I did achieve this goal for my website by the skin of my teeth with 101 daily readers during December 2019.
Social Media
One of the things that I learned during 2019 is that Social Media can be a very time-consuming way to build a business and brand. For this reason, I haven’t been proactively taking action to increase the number of followers on these platforms.
However, Judy (my Virtual Assistant in the Philippines) continues to post new videos and blog articles on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. She also reposts older videos and articles and motivational and inspirational image quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
It’s definitely worth following me on Social Media as I do provide content that does not appear elsewhere. Here are the links.
None of this would have been possible without your support, so I would like to thank you for reading my articles, watching my videos and listening to my podcast episodes. It means a lot to me!
Hypnotherapy
The hypnotherapy practice that I run in Sydney continues to thrive. In November, I achieved over 500 hours of client sessions. This is an important milestone as it allows me to become a Clinical Member of the Australian Hypnotherapists Association. This gives me several additional perks and benefits. It also demonstrates to people seeking my help that I have a lot of experience and have dealt with a wide variety of different issues.
I started running more online hypnotherapy sessions using Skype or Zoom. I found these to be as equally effective as face to face sessions. In some cases, they were more effective! This is a wonderful way to work with people that live in other parts of the world and is something that I want to do more of in 2020.
If you would like some hypnotherapy to help resolve an issue that you are having at the moment, then do get in touch. For further information, please visit my hypnotherapy website.
Key Influencers
I follow many people online for help, motivation, and inspiration. I have benefited immensely from these 3 people during 2019.
Alex Haynes
Many personal development and business experts stress the importance of hustle. They say that you have to do whatever it takes and there’s no gain without pain! Having done this in the past, I have found this to be a recipe for burnout and unhappiness!
Alex is different! He talks about the importance of following your intuition whilst developing good success habits. He stresses the importance of doing what feels good and enjoying the process along the way. Alex has a 6-figure online business, but he very rarely spends more than 3 hours a day on his business. He proves that you can be successful by focussing on the most important things, using your intuition and creativity and having fun along the way.
I highly recommend that you check out his YouTube Channel. He focusses on personal development topics and includes many of his own life stories. He is also the author of the book Master the Day which as become a top seller on Amazon.
Marissa Peer
Marissa is an extremely successful hypnotherapist in the UK. She has worked with celebrities and even members of the royal family. She shows you how to have success in all areas of life. What would it be like to have a wonderful career, an amazing relationship, and fantastic health? She talks about living the life of the 1%. Those that have it all.
I watched her free masterclass earlier this year. This included a hypnotherapy session that was probably the most powerful one I had experienced this year! It was all around overcoming rejection and it went right to the heart of the issues and then a process to release them. I highly recommend that you check out Marissa’s Free Masterclass.
Stefan James
I have been following Stefan at Project Life Mastery now for 4 years. His website and YouTube channel are all about mastering all areas of your life, including your health, wealth, mindset, business and finances. Stefan really goes the extra mile in providing extremely helpful content, that is motivating, inspiring and actionable.
Much of the way that I run Self Help for Life comes from Stefan’s Affiliate Marketing Mastery program and the way he runs Project Life Mastery. However, his information on morning rituals, success habits, and emotional resilience helps me in many other areas of my life.
Travel
2019 was a great year for travel with several great holiday adventures!
Borneo
This trip actually started in late December 2018. We flew to Kota Kinabalu which is on the north-west side of Borneo. We then joined the Intrepid Classic Borneo tour and this took us across Borneo to Sandakan in the east.
The highlight of the trip was the Kinabatangan River where we saw over 10 wild Orangutans, many of them on Christmas Day. We also saw many wild Probiscus Monkeys which are native to Borneo.
Malaysia
We flew into Kuala Lumper on New Year’s Eve to see the New Year in at Marini’s bar which is on the 57th floor. It’s very close to the Petronis Towers and where the New Year fireworks take place. It was a wonderful atmosphere in this bar with great music and a chance to watch the fireworks from above, rather than below. On New Years Day, we flew to Langkawi, one of the Malaysian islands for a relaxed start to 2019.
Singapore
For my wife’s 50th birthday, we met up with my mother and sister-in-law and treated ourselves to a few nights at Marina Bay Sands. This is the place to stay in Singapore! The top of the hotel is in the shape of a boat and is supported by three towers. The biggest attraction is the infinity pool in the boat-shaped section at the top. No one swims in this pool. Instead, it’s all about getting the perfect selfie!
Ko Samui
Ko Samui is an island that is part of Thailand. It’s a popular holiday destination and a great place to hang out if you enjoy an alternative and more chilled out lifestyle. It was extremely hot, so any walking or cycling was done before 9 am! I bumped into someone who knew me from school! – Small world! A highlight was finding a vegan yoga cafe that also has co-working spaces with a lovely view of the beach. Perhaps in the future, I’ll run Self Help for Life from there for a few weeks!
Health and Fitness
For me, health and fitness are quite different. You can be very healthy inside, but not particularly strong or flexible. You could also be super fit, muscular, ripped with 6-pack abs, but be unhealthy on the inside. I like to focus more on health, but physical fitness is important too, especially as I’m getting older.
I started having green smoothies most mornings. It’s my way of getting a good hit of vegetables early in the day. My typical green smoothie consists of cucumber, celery, kale, spinach, mango (to make it a little sweeter) and sometimes a greens powder that might include wheatgrass or other green superfoods. I find this to be an excellent way to detox and a great way to start the day. I use the Nutribullet 1200 Series blender to create my morning smoothies.
My weight has been stubbornly at 57kg (125lb) for most of 2019, despite eating more food to try and gain weight. It’s a good problem to have, especially as most people are trying to lose weight. I believe the solution is resistance training and I have been doing that off and on. It’s hard to fit this into my busy schedule, but I know that if I had a good enough “why”, I would make the time. Let’s see what happens in 2020!
Courses
100 Day Challenge
I completed the 100 Day Challenge program for the fourth time. This is a hard-core goal setting and achievement program that I do every year. It’s one of the best ways to make massive progress towards your business and life goals. This year, I used the 100 day challenge to double the number of hypnotherapy clients and recruit a professional writer for Self Help for Life. Both of these goals were successfully achieved. I missed my third 100 Day Challenge goal which was to increase my weight to 60kg.
I also attended the Virtual Gastric Band Hypnotherapy training course in Sydney. This was a face to face training course run by Sheila Granger. She is a very experienced hypnotherapist from the UK and delivers this hypnotherapy training program worldwide. It’s designed to help people lose weight by eating less food. It’s a great alternative to dieting and I have been using this approach very successfully with my weight loss hypnotherapy clients.
Cool Things I Bought
I don’t tend to buy many things these days. I prefer travel and other experiences. However, here are a couple of cool electronic gadgets that I obtained this year.
Muse Brain Sensing Meditation Headband
My wife bought me the Muse Brain Sensing Headband as a birthday present in July. The Muse headband senses your brainwaves during Meditation. It will tell you when your mind is calm and focussed and when it has wandered off. This is all done through the Muse smartphone app and a pair of headphones. When your mind is calm, you hear calm weather and perhaps the sound of birds tweeting. When your mind wanders, you will hear wind, rain and wilder weather. This helps you notice when your mind has wandered, so that you can refocus on your breathing or meditation mantra.
This is a wonderful gadget and certainly makes meditation much more fun. Through the app, you can set meditation goals and monitor your meditation progress. The App is available for iPhone and Android phones.
Sony MX1000mk3 Wireless Headphones
I love to listen to music, podcasts, audiobooks and training programs on the move. I generally walk or use public transport and like to put this time to good use. I’ve always used wired earbuds in the past, but when my last ones stopped working, I decided to treat myself to a pair of over the ear noise-canceling headphones instead. I listened to quite a few different ones in my local hi-fi store and loved the sound of the Sony MX1000mk3 headphones.
I’ve had these for a couple of months now and really love them! The noise-canceling cuts out so much background noise and I feel like I’m in my own bubble! I’ve been relistening to some of my favorite artists and revisiting albums from my childhood. Even the Self Help for Life Podcast sounds great with these headphones!
Music
As you might have guessed from talking about headphones, I have always had a real passion for music ever since I was a child. It’s varied over the years from pop, rock, classical, dance and indie, but it has always been there in some shape or form.
Gigs
It’s always great when international bands come to Sydney. This year, I got to experience U2 performing their Joshua Tree album and many of their other hits live. This was the first time I had seen U2 live and I was so glad I did!
Earlier in the year, I saw Mumford and Sons live. They play a mixture of folk, rock and indie music. They switch between acoustic instruments such as the banjo and double bass to electric instruments. It was fascinating to see this all happening live in front of my eyes!
Artists and Albums
In today’s world of Spotify playlists, I always appreciate the fact that artists still create albums. There are two albums that I’ve played over and over again this year! The first is by Canadian indie band Metric and is called Art of Doubt. It’s my favorite combination of deep, meaningful lyrics, strong songs, and some electronic sounds. My favorite track on the album is “Now or Never Now”
The second is from the UK band Keane and is called Cause and Effect. I’ve been a fan of Keane since they started back in 2004. Its been 5 years since their last album and I really missed their music during this time. Keane are different because they are a rock band without the lead guitar. Piano and synthesizers are used instead. My favorite track is “The Way I Feel”, especially the lyrics about “the voices in your head”
Click the links below to listen to these albums on Spotify
I’m not a big reader. I generally prefer online courses that have a combination of video, audio, and written material. I have been reading the Barefoot Investor to help improve my financial situation. I’ve covered this in another blog post that you can read here.
I do love reading autobiographies! For me, it’s a great way to get inside the minds of successful people. I especially enjoy reading autobiographies by musical artists. This year I read If I Was by Midge Ure. He talks about his humble beginnings as a child in a council flat in Glasgow with no inside toilet! He covers his Ultravox years and what it was like to achieve massive success almost overnight. He goes into co-writing the Band-Aid Song – Do they know its Christmas with Bob Geldof and how he got the top musicians of the 80s (and their egos) into one studio to record the song!
Things got very challenging for Midge in the 90s and 00s. His records weren’t selling, he lost his confidence, became quite depressed and addicted to alcohol. This is actually really common for music artists and celebrities. They want to recreate what they once had and feel unable to. A highlight is his story of how he stopped drinking alcohol completely. He finally found a good enough reason to stop. He found his “why”.
So What’s In-store for 2020?
My plan is to keep doing what I’m doing, especially now that I’m seeing consistent growth in my blog, YouTube channel, and Podcast. I’m considering developing my own online course or Kindle book. I’m keen to do more online coaching and hypnotherapy, so if that interests you, then do get in touch.
It’s my 50th birthday in July, so there is likely to be a big party and some travel. I plan to work a little less hard and keep a healthy balance between achieving more and enjoying what I already have.
So that was my review of 2019. I hope it helped you gain some insights into my life and what I get up to. I’m looking forward to helping, supporting, motivating and inspiring you in 2020!
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
https://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/My-Review-of-2019-self-help-for-life.jpg4561200Paul Thomashttp://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Self-Help-Logo-white-BG-blue-095da1-.pngPaul Thomas2019-12-30 06:49:002023-07-08 10:31:51My Year in Review | 2019 Achievements
You’ve
probably already heard about the importance of affirmations and how they
positively influence the subconscious mind. But, do you really know what
affirmations are and how they work? If you don’t, you’re in the right place. If
you have already used them, but they didn’t work for you, let me explain how to
create affirmations that can work extremely effectively for you.
Affirmations are positive phrases that you repeat often. They can be:
Extrinsic – about something you want to achieve, a specific outcome or goal. For example, earning $100,000 a year or losing 20 kg.
Intrinsic – about who you want to be or who you want to become. For example, being a more confident, sensitive, extravert or outgoing person.
Why Are Affirmations Useful?
1.
Positive thoughts replace negative thoughts
Around
60,000 thoughts pass through your mind every day. Many of these are the same
thoughts repeated over and over again. Any thought that you consistently repeat
is an affirmation!. So you are already repeating affirmations whether you
realize it or not.
The problem is that many of the consistent thoughts that you unconsciously repeat to yourself are negative. By beginning to repeat positive affirmations that work, you can make positive changes and feel much better. You can start having optimistic thoughts about the things that you want to achieve.
2.
Helps you focus on what you want
Repeating affirmations that work can also help you focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. After a while, it changes the way you think. When you change your thinking, your beliefs change as well. Over time, these beliefs become your reality. So your reality changes as well.
3. Rewire your brain
There is a link between affirmations and neuroplasticity – the idea is that you can rewire your brain to think differently automatically. When you repeat affirmations that work, things change at an unconscious level. You create new neural pathways in your brain, so that over time you unconsciously begin to act differently.
The
number one reason why affirmations haven’t worked for you until now is
cognitive dissonance. This is the conflict between your new affirmation and the
thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes that you already have.
How Do You Identify Cognitive Dissonance?
There
are several ways to recognize cognitive dissonance. These include:
1.
Contradictory self-talk
When you repeat an affirmation, your self-talk contradicts it. It says something like, “no, that’s never going to happen”.
2.
Uncomfortable feeling
When you start repeating affirmations, you may get a feeling inside that seems to tell you that what you are saying is not true.
3.
Negative imagination
While
repeating an affirmation, you start imagining something contrary to what you’re
affirming.
Let’s say you are a shy person, and you are repeating the affirmation: “I am very confident when interacting with others”. The contradictory self-talk could be, “no, you’re not. You are shy, and you can’t talk to anyone”. You may also sense an uncomfortable feeling. Or you start imagining yourself being shy in a specific social situation.
Another
example could be saying the affirmation “my business is a success” when you
know it isn’t. You’re going to get that contradictory self-talk and perhaps an uncomfortable
feeling. Or you’ll start imagining and remembering times when it wasn’t
successful.
How to Overcome Cognitive Dissonance
You
need to make your affirmations believable. To help you do this, I am going to
give you 9 phrases that you can use to create more believable affirmations that
will work for you.
A
good place to start is the “I am” affirmation. Here are some examples
I am confident.
I am earning $100,000 per year.
I am attractive.
I am in excellent health.
When
you repeat these “I am” affirmations, do you hear negative self-talk or an
uncomfortable feeling? Or do you imagine something that goes against what
you’re affirming? If you notice any internal conflict, then here are some other
phrases that you can use instead.
The 9 Phrases to Create Affirmations That Work
1.
I want to
The phrase “I want to” is believable. For example, “I want to become confident”. That’s believable because all you’re saying is that you would like to become confident. Your unconscious mind hears the words “become confident,” and it starts to get the feeling of the word “confident.” Here are some other examples:
I want to earn $100,000 per year.
I want to be attractive.
I want to be in great health.
I want to find my soul mate.
Are
you noticing any cognitive dissonance now? If you are, try the next phrase.
2.
I can
When
you say “I can”, you affirm that it’s possible and that you can do
it. And that’s true. It’s harder to question whether you can or can’t do
something if you haven’t done it yet.
If
in the past you couldn’t do certain things, then you might get a bit of
cognitive dissonance. If that’s the case, then move on to the next one.
3.
I choose to
This
one gives an element of choice and intention. This can make the affirmation
more believable.
I choose to be confident.
I choose to earn $100,000 a year.
I choose to become attractive.
I choose to be in great health.
I choose to find ways to meet my soulmate.
4.
I am learning to
This
phrase is very believable. As long as you are taking some time to learn, then that
critical voice in your mind can’t contradict you. It’s very, very believable. Here
are some examples.
I am learning to become confident.
I am learning how to become confident.
I am learning how to earn $100,000 per year.
I am learning ways to become more attractive.
I am learning how to be in great health.
I am learning how to find my soulmate.
With
this one, it’s beneficial to use words like “how” or “the best
way.” For example, “I am learning the best way to earn $100,000 a year”,
or “I am learning multiple ways to be in great health”.
5.
I am becoming
This
phrase gives you the feeling that your goal is a process or a journey. Each day
you’re getting a little bit closer to achieving it. With this affirmation, it
can be helpful to add words like “more and more.” Here are some
examples:
I am becoming more and more confident.
I am becoming more capable of earning $100,000 per
year.
I am becoming more and more attractive.
I am becoming healthier each day.
I am becoming more capable of finding my soulmate.
6.
I can find a way
This one is great when you are motivated, but you still don’t know the exact solution or method. It can get you out of that feeling of hopelessness or overwhelm. You can say:
I can find a way to be more confident.
I can find a way to earn $100,000 a year.
I can find a way to be more attractive.
I can find a way to be in great health.
I can find a way to meet my soulmate.
7.
I deserve to
This
phrase is useful if cognitive dissonance comes from a lack of self-worth or
self-esteem. It’s often the case when you want something, but don’t feel you
deserve it.
I deserve to be more confident.
I deserve to earn $100,000 a year.
I deserve to be more attractive.
I deserve to be in great health.
I deserve to find my soul mate.
The
phrase “I give myself permission” can be an excellent alternative. For example, “I give myself permission to be
more confident.”
8.
I am open to the possibility
Let me give you an example first: “I am open to the possibility that I could be more confident”. I use this one a lot in my hypnotherapy sessions when people have very deep-rooted beliefs that create cognitive dissonance. When they are not able to use any of the other phrases that I’ve covered earlier, this one is the best. It’s a good idea to add the words “I can” or “I could.” Let me go through the examples:
I am open to the possibility that I could become more
confident.
I am open to the possibility that I can earn $100,000
per year.
I am open to the possibility that I could be more
attractive.
I am open to the possibility that I could be in great
health.
I am open to the possibility that I can find my
soulmate.
9.
I will
I’m personally less keen on this one because the words “I will” could tell your unconscious mind that you are talking about the future. And if it feels that it will happen in the future, not now, then it won’t necessarily take the steps towards making it happen. However, if the “I will” phrase feels right to you, and you don’t feel cognitive dissonance, then give it a go. The most important thing is to make it believable. I would suggest combining it with similar affirmations that use some of the other phrases. So running down our list again:
I will be more confident.
I will earn $100,000 a year.
I will be more attractive.
I will be in great health.
I will find my soul mate.
Find Affirmations That Work for You
So
I have covered 9 great phrases that will make your affirmations more believable
and compelling. Make use of these phrases and find affirmations that work for you.
Bear in mind that everyone is different. Experiment! Find those that are the most
effective for you!
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
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An amazing life doesn’t happen by chance. It will happen when you use your time, energy and focus intentionally, deliberately and purposely.
An amazing life can be hampered by distractions, less important goals or a shortage of time or money. However, the biggest obstacle is often the lack of a clear goal. However, this and other things preventing you from living an amazing life can be solved with a little effort.
Here are 10 fantastic ways to create an amazing life. One that is meaningful and exciting to you.
Wanting to be an olympic athlete, astronaut and concert pianist in one lifetime is unrealistic. The time and effort involved in mastering all three would be too great. I love this quote from David Allen that states “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything“.
Warren Buffett recommends writing down the 10 goals that you most want to achieve in your life. Then scrubbing out numbers 4 to 10 and focusing purely on the first 3. You can always come back to goals 4 to 10, once you have achieved your top 3 goals.
2. Get Started
The first step towards achieving any meaningful goal can often be the hardest. A lot of people have reasons or excuses for not getting started. This could be a lack of money, lack of time or lack of knowledge. It might also be a feeling that you’re not good enough or worthy enough to achieve this goal. However, it’s important to realize that you already have everything you need to take the first logical step.
Perhaps you believe that this is not the best time to start. If that’s the case, remember that there is never a perfect time to start anything.
If you struggle to get started each day, then commit to doing a difficult but necessary activity for 10 minutes and see what happens. And do this even when you don’t feel like doing it. Once the motivation kicks in, you’ll find that one hour swiftly passes by and you’re now successfully doing something that is taking you closer to the life you want.
3. Spend Your Time Wisely
There are lots of ways to complete the same activity. Sometimes the easiest way takes longer. Sometimes the easier way works in the short-term, but has negative consequences in the longer term.
Sometimes the quicker or best way requires more courage, feels uncomfortable or involves a higher level of skill. However, if this allows you to do more in a shorter space of time and get better long-term results, then it’s worth the effort.
4. Remove things that aren’t necessary
Start by removing whatever isn’t necessary. This could be responsibilities, distractions, less meaningful activities or people that drain you emotionally.
A few years ago, I was attending yoga classes regularly and also doing many other things to improve my health. The yoga classes helped a little, but I really didn’t enjoy it. So I ditched the Yoga and started leading bush walks or hikes around Sydney instead. I enjoyed this so much more. I was getting some exercise, meeting new people and doing something that made me happy and fulfilled. I was doing something for me!
So take a look at your life. Remove activities that seem to provide little value or benefit or that you don’t enjoy. It’s pointless doing all these things if they make you unhappy.
5. Deal with Negative Thoughts and Emotions
Achieving an amazing life can be challenging at times. Those big goals and aspirations will bring up negative thoughts and emotions and also feelings of self-doubt. That’s normal. It’s part of the journey and is to be expected. Just remembering this can help a lot.
When the road is bumpy, stay positive and solution-focused. Keep focussed on what you’re going to achieve. When you focus or pay attention to the negative and what’s not working, this will sap your energy and fuel procrastination.
6. Forgive
Forgive and let go of the past. Remember that past experiences (even the challenging ones) have helped you become who you are today. They gave you strength, resilience, empathy, and helped you build better habits and become a better person.
Also, forgive other people. This might include your family, friends or colleagues. Remember that they were trying to do the right thing, based on what they know and their mental state at the time. If their mental state was poor, they may have said or done something that you didn’t like and that you now resent. They may even regret their actions towards you, but find it hard to apologize or share that with you.
7. Replace Resentment with Compassion
Similar to forgiveness, you want to let go of any resentment for things that have happened in the past. This could be resenting other people or even yourself. Holding on to resentment will never make you happy. It can even create disease in your body.
So replace resentment with compassion and you’ll feel happier and your life will be more amazing.
8. It’s Not That Difficult
There is less competition than you think. Look at how the average person wastes time at work and at home. Most people do not have goals. Most people fail to prioritize their time or get distracted easily. The average person lives a comfortable life and then regrets it later.
You’re only competing against a small minority of people that have the same mindset as you, so success may not be as difficult as you think it’s going to be.
9. Adapt, but Don’t quit
It’s important to adapt and sometimes make dramatic changes in direction. Never quit, because there is almost always another way or another approach that will work better. People that live an amazing life adapt to changing circumstances, but never quit on their ultimate goals and dreams.
10. Be Happy Right Now
So many people think that happiness is like a deferred payment plan. They say “I will be happy when….”. Here are some examples.
I will be happy when I graduate from college and have some money.
I will be happy when I find my soul mate and get married.
I will be happy when I buy a house.
I will be happy when I become a manager or executive in this company.
I will be happy when I retire!
These things will make you happy in the short-term. However, after a while, they will become familiar and your level of happiness drops. You then start looking for the next thing that will make you happy.
Happiness is ultimately a feeling. There are things you can do to feel happier right now. I often find that it’s the really small things that make me happy, such as quality time with my wife, a good friend or walking in nature. It’s also the contrasts in life, such as having a day to yourself after being very busy for a few days.
Think about the little things that make you happy right now. It’s still important to strive for the things that will make your life amazing, but enjoy the journey along the way.
So in closing, if you would like your life to be more amazing, start by setting goals, establishing priorities, and removing distractions. Work on your emotions, especially resentment, and do the things that make you happy right now. Remember, there is plenty of time to have the life that you’ve always wanted. So use your time wisely and start applying these 10 secrets to an amazing life.
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
https://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Amazing-Life-self-help-for-life.jpg4501200Paul Thomashttp://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Self-Help-Logo-white-BG-blue-095da1-.pngPaul Thomas2019-12-10 06:25:092023-07-08 10:31:53The 10 Secrets for an Amazing Life
What is the best way to develop a wealth mindset and become wealthy? Well, a good start is to find out what wealthy people think and do and start applying this to your own life.
Besides having a great wealth mindset, wealthy people also adopt
specific behaviors that other people don’t do. Start modeling these behaviors
and you can have what they have too!
In this article, you will learn the 8 specific factors that predict how
wealthy you will be. Discover the mix of wealth mindset traits and specific
behaviors that wealthy people do. Then start doing these too!
What behaviors do most millionaires have in common?
What are their main personality traits?
What does it take to become a millionaire?
What does it mean to have a wealth mindset?
Can an ordinary person build extraordinary wealth?
To answer these questions, I’m going to share the research results from two great authors. The first is Chris Hogan, who studied 10,000 millionaires. The second is Sarah Stanley Fallaw who studied 600 millionaires in the US. Here are the links to their books on Amazon.
These researchers uncovered 8
behaviors or wealth mindsets that almost every millionaire has. These 8 factors
can predict how wealthy someone will become in spite of their age, background,
or current income.
So here are the 8 factors that you
can use to predict how wealthy you are going to be.
1. Frugality
The first one is frugality – a commitment to saving and spending less than you earn. It’s sticking to a budget and resisting lifestyle creep. What is lifestyle creep? It’s spending more when you start earning more. Frugal people typically spend about 80% of their income. The rest, they invest.
Frugal people know that becoming rich or financially independent is not about how much you earn. It’s about spending less than you earn. That’s the crucial thing. They’re creating a financial buffer for their future. The money they save might be used to start a new business or retire early.
True financial freedom or financial
independence means having time as well as money. To have time, you need income
from passive sources. It can be rental income, income from investments, or from
an online business. That income doesn’t need to be very high. It just needs to
be high enough to exceed your expenses.
2. Confidence
Confidence is essential if you want to be frugal. You’re going to get pressured from other people to spend money. It takes courage to say no. You have to be determined to stick to your budget.
Being confident also means being able to invest with your head and not your emotions. Whether it’s investing in a property or stocks and shares, it’s easy to get emotional and not think realistically. Rich people are very good at taking a detached perspective. They have the skill of weighing up the pros and cons logically.
They also act on opportunities quickly. Rich people seem to have the ability to recognize an excellent opportunity when they see one. They don’t procrastinate on decisions. They take action immediately because they have that wealth mindset. They’re confident in their skills and abilities. This gives them resilience, persistence, and self-belief.
3. Taking
Responsibility
If you’ve read some self-help books,
you probably know that taking responsibility for your life is extremely
important. So, it’s not surprising that one of the crucial traits of wealthy
and successful people is taking personal responsibility. They don’t count on
other people to help them get rich. They take action by themselves. They don’t
blame others either. They won’t even blame the economy when they fall short.
Sometimes millionaires lose their
wealth when the economy changes. But what’s interesting about these people is
that they are capable of coming back and making money again. They are taking
responsibility and not blaming the economy. Even if the economy affects them in
the short term, they know they’re going to get back on track.
A part of taking responsibility is
being flexible. You must be willing to try different things. It’s also about
focusing on what you can control. In any situation, it is essential to know
what you can manage and influence, especially when other people are involved.
It’s also about aligning your daily habits with your own goals. Rich people
have consistent daily habits that are taking them towards their goals.
Interestingly, most millionaires are
self-made. They have not achieved their wealth by luck, through inheritance, or
by having wealthy parents. There are so many stories about self-made
millionaires that were just like anybody else. Still, they had that something
that led them to success. And that was not given to them by birth. They had the
wealth mindset that you can develop and cultivate too.
4. Goal Setting
& Achievement
Successful and wealthy people are goal-orientated. They set short-term and long-term goals for their financial future. Researched showed that 92% of wealthy people had a long-term plan for their finances. And 97% of these people accomplished almost every goal they set. So they rarely fall short. They set goals, and they achieve them. They’ve mastered the art of setting goals and, most importantly, accomplishing them.
5. Focus &
Tenacity
This one is about seeing tasks through to their logical conclusion. Not being distracted by other things or other opportunities. Resisting the shiny object syndrome. Successful people generally stick with one business idea or venture for a significant amount of time. They might see other, perhaps even better opportunities. But they decide to stick with the one they started. Especially if they can see some signs of success.
There might be times when switching
to another business venture, or opportunity is the right thing to do. But
generally, this will be the last resort for a person with a wealth mindset.
They are aware that taking action on their current venture is much more
critical. It means staying in the game for the long term.
They’re also a lot less focused on
immediate gratification. Their willingness to give up spending time and money
on things now is helping them to achieve better results in the future. They are
capable of avoiding the “I need to have things now to be happy”
mindset and focus on long-term gratification. They are long-term thinkers. They
are thinking 2, 5, even 10 years in advance.
If I’d started saving when I was 20,
I could well be on the way to being a millionaire now. But I didn’t have that
long-term vision in my early 20s. If you are in your early 20s, understand how
important this is. What you do financially in your early 20s can make an
enormous impact on your financial future. Start planning for your future right
now!
6. Social
Indifference
People with a wealth mindset don’t feel a need to keep up with the Joneses. When your neighbor buys a particular car or something else, do you feel the need to do the same? Genuinely successful people don’t feel a need to do that. They don’t feel the pressure from others to buy the latest iPhone or some other gadget. Sometimes they have older technology because they use their money for other things.
When I first started working, I
moved into my first shared house in London. I was talking to my flat mates who
were making a good income compared to me. I asked if they were saving some of that
extra money for the future. They said no, they just spent more instead! So they
earned more, but spent more too! As I mentioned earlier, this is known as
“lifestyle creep”. I didn’t want that to happen to me, but it has, although I’m
addressing this now!
7. Working Hard
The next thing that productive, successful and wealthy people do is work hard. They’re always willing to do whatever it takes even when it’s not easy. They’re eager to challenge themselves. They’re ready to stretch themselves. And 93% of people who became millionaires achieved that with hard work. It was not about knowing the right people or being in the right place. It was sheer hard work that got them to where they were.
These people are continually working
on improving themselves. They won’t settle for what they have or who they are
today. They’re always looking for more. Even though they are very successful
now, they’re always looking for ways to improve themselves. They develop
themselves further so that they can be even better tomorrow. Investing in their
education and skills makes them capable of embracing the latest technologies or
business trends. They have that wealth mindset that there’s always more to
learn. And they have the curiosity that drives them.
One more thing that is significant is to take on jobs that you are passionate about and that you love doing. When you work on something that you’re excited about, it’s a lot easier to do the hard work. You’re much more motivated, and it’s much easier to keep going when the going gets tough. If you love what you are doing, you’re more likely to do it very well. You are always going to perform better at something that you enjoy, and you’re happy doing.
8. Being
Consistent
To be consistent means doing the
same thing day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year,
even decade after decade. If you want to be consistent, you need to be patient.
You have to be able to let go of immediate gratification and focus on the
long-term goals. Having a good focus is essential. You need to have the ability
to stay focused on your plan and your goals for financial wealth and freedom.
If you have a passion for what you’re doing, that should make everything
easier.
So, these are the 8 behaviors and wealth mindset traits that the
vast majority of millionaires have, based on extensive research.
To learn more, I highly recommend reading the following two books.
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
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Having too much to do or a feeling that you are overwhelmed is the most common form of stress in today’s world. I call it time poverty. There are not enough hours in the day to do all the things we need to do. This lack of time can be a hard one to crack because it feels like you have no control over it. There are only a certain number of hours in a day and we can’t change that.
Recently, I’ve had a few hypnotherapy clients that have been experiencing this problem. I really wanted to help them. And I want to help you as well if you feel overwhelmed because of having too much to do.
Most probably, there are many things
that you think you should be doing. For example, exercising, eating healthily,
doing yoga, or working on your self-improvement. Maybe you think you should be
spending more time with your children, friends, or family. The pressure can
also come from your work.
Technology can make that feeling
even worse. Nowadays, thanks to technology, we can do so much more quickly and
efficiently. Consequently, we have more to think about. There is more mental
noise in our minds. That noise creates additional pressure.
How do you know when you have too
much to do or that you are overwhelmed? Usually, it’s pretty obvious. Sometimes
it’s not so easy to tell. Think about the tasks that are generally rewarding
and enjoyable. If you stop enjoying them and all you can see is a long list of
things you need to do, then this is a key sign that you’ve got too much on.
Now I’m going to cover the 10 ways
to effectively deal with having too much to do.
1. Write
Everything Down
It is essential to write everything
down on a piece of paper or on your computer. I used to keep all the things I
had to do in my head. One evening, I came home, looking busy and stressed. My
wife asked what are all the things you need to do? Even though I had all these
things in my mind, I struggled to answer her question. I couldn’t recall most
of the things that I needed to do.
What helped me was writing all my tasks down. When you write them down, you get a clear visual picture of what you need to do. This gives you a sense of perspective, and often you can find the cause of your stress. The overwhelming feeling usually reduces. You may also feel an emotional release. Just the act of writing all these things down can help release that stress emotion.
2. Prioritize
Once you write your tasks down, it’s time to prioritize. You’ve got to put them into an order. First, focus on what’s urgent and what needs to be done immediately. After that, add tasks that you want to do and are important to you. These are the tasks that give you a sense of fulfillment and happiness. They help you achieve your long-term goals. When you feel happy and fulfilled, you’re more likely to get those other tasks done.
Next, there are tasks that you don’t
want to do. See if you can get some help. Or, find a way to delegate them to
somebody else.
Some tasks are of low priority. I’d
almost call them the don’t do’s. Maybe, it’s not necessary to do them. If
they’re not adding much value to your business or your life, perhaps you could
skip them. This might go against your work ethic. However, the reality is that
you’ve got too much to do. So you have to prioritize in a way that ensures that
the most important things get done.
3. Change Your
Self-Talk
This one comes from a video by Bernadette (known as “B”) at the Daily Positive. She says that when you have too much to do and feel overwhelmed, don’t say things like, I’m so busy, I’m so stressed out, or I don’t have enough time. Why? Because your unconscious mind gets that message loud and clear. And it will put you into fight or flight mode. This creates a vicious cycle, where you’re more stressed and less productive. Your work begins to pile up even more.
Remember that your unconscious mind can’t
make choices. It just imprints whatever you regularly say to yourself. So if
you keep saying to yourself, I’m so busy, I’m so stressed out, I don’t have enough
time, your unconscious mind is going to believe it. Instead, you want to say
the direct opposite. Tell yourself things like:
I am calm,
I am in control.
I am focused.
I am effective.
There is more than enough time to do everything I need to do.
Even if you don’t believe these,
when you say them, your body will begin to feel calmer. You’ll feel more in
control. You’ll be able to think more clearly, and you’ll be more productive.
Over time, these new affirmations and this new self-talk will become more believable. You will start to take them on more and more naturally.
4. Banish the
Words Should, Must, and Have To
The vast majority of us live in a
free society. We have freedom of thinking and freedom of speech. We also have
freedom of choice. We can choose what to do or what not to do. So rather than
saying I should go to the gym today, say I choose to go to the gym
today. Or I can go to the gym today. And in the same manner, I choose
to stick to this diet, I can stick to this diet, or I want to
stick to this diet.
Can you see that you now have a choice? It might seem like a play on words, but again, your unconscious mind will pick up on the harsher feelings behind words such as should, must or have to. So use softer words, such as want to, choose to, and could do. When you do this, you’ll see a difference. You’ll feel more in control.
5. Make Time
for What Matters Most
Think about the things that are very
important to you, the things that you would regret if you didn’t do them. When
you get older and look back on your life, what are you going to care about?
What are you going to regret not doing? Probably not many things that are on
your current to-do list!
You must make time in the day to do what’s super important. The things that you value. Maybe it’s exercise because you want to have a great body and long-term sustainable health. Maybe, it’s meditation so you could feel more focused as life goes on. Perhaps, it’s self-improvement – becoming the best person you can be. It could also be learning new skills or setting up a part-time business.
If you can find a way to make time
to fit those into your day, you will feel much better about yourself. And when
you feel better about yourself, you tend to get more of those other things done
as well.
6. Watch Out
for Perfectionism
Quite a few of my clients that have
wanted help with stress and overwhelm have one thing in common. They are
perfectionists. They want to do things to a very high standard. And that
requires much more time.
It helps to know the difference
between something being perfect and good enough. You might spend 20% of your
time and effort to get something to be good enough, and then the remaining 80%
to get it to be perfect. So we have the 80/20 rule here. When you strive to
make something perfect, think about what else you could do with that time? What
are the tasks that you’re not going to do at all if you do this one task
perfectly?
It’s not easy to let go of perfectionism. I know that because I have perfectionism tendencies myself. I believe that there is an underlying fear of not being good enough behind perfectionism. Everything has to be perfect so that I can feel I’m good enough.
It is helpful to think about when
it’s important to be a perfectionist and when it isn’t. If you are performing
brain surgery, then you must do your best because it’s a life or death
situation. But if you’re at home preparing a salad, maybe that doesn’t need to be
completely perfect. Some things may need to be perfect, but there are others
where it’s fine to be good enough. Make sure you can distinguish between the
two. Don’t try being a perfectionist at everything.
7. Don’t Take
on New Activities
When you have too much to do, it’s
essential not to take on any more activities. It could be a new project at work
or maybe joining a committee with a meaningful cause. Perhaps it’s buying a new
course, doing a new exercise program, or a new diet. It feels good doing new
things. You get a dopamine hit! But remember, that it is another thing to do.
When it comes to new courses, there
are always 2 questions I ask myself. Firstly, is this course going to be of
good value to me? And secondly, have I got the time to do it? Quite often, the
answer to the second question is no. Make sure that you ask yourself these two questions
when you consider buying a course or paying for something that will take more
of your time. It’s vital to balance that reward and dopamine hit with having
some space in your life. Create space to relax and take some time out.
8. Learn to Say
No
When you’ve got too much to do, the
last thing you want is to take on more. When people ask us to do something, we
often say yes without thinking about the consequences. We don’t think about
what that work is going to involve. Then we begin to regret it later. Here are
a few tips for saying no.
Firstly, be direct and keep it
simple. Say things like, no, I can’t do that or no, I don’t want to do that
right now. Always be polite. Say thanks for asking, but I can’t do this at the
moment. Practice saying no in your imagination.
Next, buy time. Sometimes rather
than saying no, say, can I get back to you. That gives you time to think about how
much time you would need, and if you can really fit it in. If you cannot do it,
you have enough time to think about the best way to say no. Remember that when
you say no to someone, you’re rejecting their request. You’re not rejecting the
person. That’s very important.
Bear in mind that if you get into the habit of saying yes to everything, people will start asking you to do more and more. They will expect that of you. They’ll see you as a person who’s always going to say yes. They might take advantage of you because of that.
It’s always better to say no now
than be resentful later for saying yes. Remember, your self-worth is not
dependent on pleasing others.
9. Have a
Mindful Moment
I learned this from Leo at Zen Habits. When you have too much to do, and you feel overwhelmed, use it as an opportunity to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness means being completely in the here and now. Not thinking about the past, not worrying about the future, just being completely in the present.
There are 2 ways you can practice
this. The first is to focus completely on the one thing you’re doing right now
without thinking about anything else. If you find this hard to do, you can try
what Leo calls Mind Jumps.
Take 1 or 2 minutes out. Notice how
your body feels while your mind is spinning. You’re going to feel the stress.
And that’s not going to be a pleasant feeling. However, it’s not going to be
the end of the world either. It’s just going to be a little bit uncomfortable.
As you do that, observe how you feel. Then, start observing your surroundings. What can you see? What can you hear? What can you feel? Notice the thoughts that are coming up in your mind. How are they affecting your feelings? Maybe you’ll notice words like should or must or some negative phrases. Start becoming more and more aware of these.
10. Let It Go
The last one is to practice letting go. This also comes from Leo at Zen Habits.
When you have a big to-do list, and you have a high desire to get it all done, this desire can get in the way of actually doing it. This desire can affect your concentration and focus. Leo recommends letting go of the idea that you’re going to get it all done and accepting the reality. The reality is that you can do only one thing at a time. He also says, be grateful for the moment that you have right now instead of wishing for the moment that you don’t have. I believe this is very important.
Many people go through life just
thinking about the future. They never really think about this actual moment.
Practice being grateful for where you are right now. The only thing we can be
certain of in life is that there’s always going to be more things on our to-do list!
That’s the only constant. Taking time to be grateful for where you are right
now is extremely important.
I found these 10 ways to deal with
too much to do to be very effective, both for myself and my clients. I hope you
will put them into practice and realize how powerful and helpful they can be
for you too.
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
https://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Too-much-to-do-self-help-for-life.jpg4561200Paul Thomashttp://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Self-Help-Logo-white-BG-blue-095da1-.pngPaul Thomas2019-11-30 06:43:482023-07-08 10:31:5510 Ways to Effectively Deal with Having Too Much To Do
In this article, I will cover the crucial difference between reacting and responding. Once you know this and apply it to your life, your relationships with other people will improve immensely.
When you know the key difference between reacting and responding, you can deal calmly with other people, even the drama queens in your life!
When I learned the important difference between reacting and responding, several things changed in my life. I had far fewer arguments. I was able to take a step back and consider all the possible options. Situations where I would say something that I regretted later became less and less.
Keep reading to learn how to respond instead of react and notice your relationships with others improve dramatically.
Reacting and Responding may sound similar, but they are very different. Learn the differences and notice big changes in relationships with your partner, work colleagues, family, and friends.
Reacting tends to be emotional and impulsive. It’s something we do instinctively. It’s close to an animal-like behavior.
Responding is considering the situation with thought and intelligence. It’s having an awareness of the consequences of any action you might take.
What problems have been created in your life by reacting instead of responding so far? At the extreme, our prisons are chockablock with people that reacted. People that acted without thinking about the longer-term consequences.
Relationships are especially sensitive to reactive behavior. What have you said in the heat of the moment that you later regretted? Imagine how responding effectively could improve your relationships and give you greater happiness and peace.
Apply the strategies below to ensure that you’re responding and notice how your relationships improve.
1. Notice your Emotions
When you are with another person, notice any emotions that flare up, especially the negative ones. Having an awareness of your emotional state in these situations is an important first step. Why? because it gives you the ability to choose to respond differently before the emotions get too high.
It allows you to nip these emotions in the bud as soon as you notice them and then behave differently. It’s so important to do this before the emotions get too strong or intense. If you don’t, it’s very easy to act instinctively and in the same way that you acted before. This happens because blood flows away from the logical thinking part of the brain (the pre-frontal cortex) to the emotional brain (the amygdala).
2. Step Away
When you notice an emotion such as anger flaring up, step away from the situation if you can. This will give you some breathing space, even if it is just for a few seconds. Use this time to analyze the situation and see it more objectively. It will also help you calm down and clear your head. A great thing to do during this time is my rapid relaxation exercise.
3. List Your Options
There are nearly always more ways to deal with something than you think. You will find that the more relaxed you are, the more options appear. This is why if you can step away from the situation first that will always help.
Now ask yourself, what are the other ways that I could deal with this? What are the other ways that I could respond to this situation? There are often more ways than you previously thought. You just needed the mental space to find them.
4. Breathe
Just the act of breathing deeply and slowly will help you diffuse negative emotions, calm you down and clear your head. Contrary to popular belief, your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. If you focus on breathing and nothing else, then you have no choice but to relax and calm down. This will take some practice but it can be done.
When you take long, slow, deep breaths, you reduce the hormone cortisol in your body by up to 70%. That’s great for relieving stress. When you’re relaxed, you will naturally respond to other people in a level-headed way.
5. Consider the Consequences
I’m sure there have been times where you have said something or done something that you have later regretted. If you can consider the consequences before acting, then you will act differently. This will then save you and the other person the pain of the old negative behavior. This will be much better for the relationship in the long-term.
Relationship conflicts can also arise when you think and act with a short-term view. In today’s instant society, we often focus on short term goals and outcomes. However, we often ignore the longer-term impact that this might have on our relationships.
Most people don’t think about the long-term effect of their behavior on others. So if you can do this, you’re immediately going to stand out from the crowd and have much better relationships with other people. You’ll develop great relationships built on trust and respect and you will have a more peaceful and happier life as well.
6. We are Humans, not Animals!
Animals only know how to react. They can’t step back and determine the best course of action like we can. If a cat sees a mouse, it will chase it without thinking. If a mouse sees a cat, it instinctively runs away.
Reacting instantly, automatically and unconsciously is rarely a good choice for us, unless it’s a life or death situation.
As humans, we can consider all the options and then make a conscious choice in how to respond. This will come with practice. Once you start responding to situations rather than reacting, it will begin to feel more familiar and automatic.
In stressful situations, it can be very easy to switch back into reacting. So remember to just take a step back and respond rather than doing that old reacting behavior.
7. Use Emotion to Your Advantage
When you are emotional about something, it means that its important or meaningful to you. It means that you care. So feeling emotional is a good thing, as long as it doesn’t lead to actions that could harm others or cause you to say or do something that you later regret.
Therefore listen to your emotions and give them your full attention. However, don’t let strong negative emotions overwhelm you. They are there to give you a message. They exist to tell you that something is potentially wrong. So examine the situation objectively and then make a new considered decision and take a different course of action.
To Sum Up
Reacting too quickly is rarely the best option. Responding appropriately is so important in creating a successful and enjoyable life.
If you’re reacting, make the effort to respond to life’s challenges more intelligently and thoughtfully. It will benefit you more than the other person!
I hope these tips will help you when you next deal with difficult people at work or at home or in any other area of your life.
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
https://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/difference-between-reacting-and-responding-self-help-for-life.jpg4561200Paul Thomashttp://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Self-Help-Logo-white-BG-blue-095da1-.pngPaul Thomas2019-11-20 04:52:012023-07-08 10:31:56The Difference Between Reacting and Responding
What is the key thing to having a good life and feeling happy? Many people believe that it’s the ability to spend as much money as you want. If there is a need to scrimp, save, or budget, that’s not a good life. It takes the fun out of it and can lead to unhappiness. To some degree, I believed this myself, until I read a book called The Barefoot Investor by Scott Pape.
The Barefoot Investor and Scott Pape have
become household names within Australia. Back in 2014, Scott lost everything
due to a bush fire – his home, farm, and business. But he was able to recover
and get his life back on track relatively quickly compared to other people in
the same situation. How come? Well, thanks to some good financial decisions he
made before that misfortunate event.
I want to share with you how The Barefoot Investor helped me learn that it was not so hard to spend less than you earn. I’ve only read about a quarter of the book. So at the moment, I want to share with you some of the crucial components that I’ve implemented. These helped me save an extra $500 per month without a lot of effort. And certainly without any effect on my happiness.
I am now going to cover the Barefoot Investor 6-step approach to budgeting and explain how to handle your money effectively. Once you learn and apply this, you’ll find it much easier to spend considerably less than you earn.
Step 1: Save
an Initial $2,000
The Mojo
Account
Having $2000 in a savings account is an
essential first step. There is always a chance of some unexpected financial
costs occurring. If you have that $2,000 buffer, you’ll be able to cope to at
least some degree. Also, when you claim on your insurance, there’s often an excess
to pay. So it’s good to have that backup money.
Scott Pape calls this money Mojo. He recommends
putting it in a savings account – the Mojo account. When you have that money in
a separate account, in a time of need, it will help you get your Mojo back. It
gives you financial confidence. It makes you feel that you can cope if
something unexpected happens. It also provides a head start in a financial
crisis.
No Money for
the Mojo Account?
What if you don’t have $2,000 in the bank
right now? What can you do to get it? The first most obvious thing is to sell
some of your stuff. Look around your home. Look for the things that you don’t
use very much and sell them.
If there’s nothing you could sell, find a
second job for a few weeks until you earn that $2,000.
For me, this step was very easy. I already
had more than $2,000 in savings.
Step 2: Live on 60% of Your Income
Can You Do
It?
You’ll need to do a bit of research to find
out whether you can spend less than you earn. Basically, look at your
outgoings. Look at your rent or your mortgage payments. Find out the cost of
your utility, phone, and internet bills. Pay attention to your car, house,
health, or life insurance. Calculate how much you spend on food each month and
look at any loan repayments that you have. Ideally, they should all add up to
only being 60% of your income.
What If You
Can’t?
If you find that your living costs add up
to more than 60% of your income, what can you do? There are only two things –
earn more or spend less.
Earn more – You could find a second job for a while, or try to get
a promotion at your current work. You could rent out a room, or start some
part-time business.
Spend less – You could also try to save some money. Review your
monthly expenses. See if there’s something that you could reduce or lose
altogether. Maybe move to a smaller place and save on rent. You could also
review your insurance premiums and your cover. Quite often, you can increase
the excess and get a lower monthly premium.
Here in Australia, we have health insurance that comes with what’s called extras. These extras cover things like dentists, chiropractors, therapists, personal trainers, massages, or acupuncture. Typically, you can get 20 to 25% of the cost of those back.
It would be good to check how much you
claimed back for those services in a year. Then look at how much you’re paying for
the extras cover. I found I was paying more for the extras cover then I was
claiming back. It just didn’t make sense to continue paying that, so I saved
some money there.
My
Experience
I’m going to give you some personal experience here. I found it reasonably easy to live on 60% of my income. My income does fluctuate from month to month because my business as a hypnotherapist means that I have good months and bad months.
So I did some things to reduce my costs. I
reviewed my health insurance and changed my insurance company. I reviewed the
internet service to see if we could make some savings there.
And for the last three months, I’ve been able to live on 60% of my income comfortably. The fact is, you can spend less than you earn more easily than you think.
Step 3: Find
a Bank with No Fees
When I lived in the UK, free-banking was
normal. But when I moved to Australia, it was common to pay $5 a month for
running a current account. And also quite common to pay an annual fee on credit
cards. If you use another bank’s ATMs, you pay a surcharge on that as well. This
might be the case in your country also.
So an important step is to find a bank that doesn’t charge those fees. Another thing to watch as well are international transaction fees. I assumed that, when traveling to another country or buying things online, it was normal to pay some surcharge on my credit or debit card. But Scott Pape says in The Barefoot Investor that you shouldn’t be paying these. Some banks will refund or not charge international transaction fees. Here in Australia, one of the banks that does that is ING. It’s an online bank that doesn’t have any branches.
So do some research. If you’re paying any
fees, including international transaction fees, find a bank that refunds them
or doesn’t charge them in the first place. Look for online banks. See if you
can find one in your country that has no bank fees and offers refunds for
international transactions.
Step 4: Open
2 Current Accounts
Once you found a bank that charges no fees,
you’re going to want to open two current accounts. With both of these bank accounts,
you should have a debit card for transactions.
The Daily
Expenses Account – 60% of Your Income
With online banking these days, you can
often give bank accounts nicknames. So the first one you’re going to call Daily
Expenses. This is the account where all your income is going to go. And this is
also the account where 60% of your income will stay and cover your living
expenses. Remember, we are talking about living on 60% of what you earn. The
other 40% is going to go out of this account to other accounts. The goal is to
spend less than you earn and save the rest of the money.
I’ll give you a really helpful tip here.
Pay for everything with a debit card. I used to pay cash for a lot of little
things, like coffees and lunches. Now I’m paying for everything by card. Why is
this an excellent idea? Because it’s much easier to keep track of how much you’re
spending. You just have to look at your statements. I highly recommend that you
start paying for everything using your debit card.
The Splurge
Account – 10% of Your Income
The second current account that you’re
going to open is called Splurge. The Splurge account is for guilt-free spending
on fun things. These would typically include eating out, drinks at the pub,
massages, maybe buying books, CDs, or DVDs. It could also be for your Netflix
or your Spotify subscription. Basically, for those things that make life
enjoyable and fun. They’re not essential; you could manage without them. But
those are the things that put a smile on your face and make you feel happy. The
key here is, it’s guilt-free spending. This account should also have a debit
card. A recommended guideline is to put 10% of your income in your Splurge
account.
Step 5: Open
2 Savings Accounts
These accounts should be with a different
bank to your Mojo account. Look around and see which bank has the highest
interest rate on their savings accounts. Here in Australia, the typical
interest rate is 1% at the moment. That is very, very low. But there are online
banks that are willing to pay up to 2%. When you find a good deal, open two
savings accounts. Some banks require you to have a current account to take
advantage of any bonus savings interest. If this is the case, open your Daily
Expenses and Splurge accounts with the same bank. Just check they don’t charge
any fees first!
The Smile
Account – 10% of Your Income
The first savings account you can call Smile.
Why is that? This account is for longer-term purchases, things like holidays, a
new computer or a new TV. It’s for items that you can’t save up for in one
month. And as the name suggests, those are the things that will make you smile.
You should put 10% of your income into this
account. So every month, you are going to transfer 10% of your income from your
Daily Expenses account to this high-interest account. For me, the money from
the Smile account is primarily used for holidays.
The Fire Extinguisher
Account – 20% of Your Income
The second savings account you’re going to
call Fire Extinguisher. Why? Because this account will be your financial fire
extinguisher. You point it at whatever your financial fire is. If it’s paying
off debts, point it at your debts. If it’s saving for a down payment or deposit
for a house, then use this account for that.
If you don’t have debts and you already own a house, then you can point it towards unexpected costs. These could be health challenges, redundancy, or an economic downturn. You can also use it for different types of investments. Once you build up a bit of a nest egg in this Fire Extinguisher account, you can start using some of the money to invest in stocks and shares, or additional properties.
When Scott lost everything, he had a significant amount of money already set aside. That’s why he was able to recover fast even though he lost his house, farm, and business. He put that money towards rebuilding his life. The crucial reason to spend less than you earn is to have the money saved for unpredictable situations like these.
Sometimes it’s not possible to have two
accounts with high-interest rates at the same bank, at least not in Australia.
If you have to choose, use the higher interest rate account for Fire Extinguisher.
You’re most likely to have more money in this than in your Smile account. A
good recommendation is to put 20% of your income into the Fire Extinguisher
account. That’s what I do. You can adjust it according to your needs.
Step 6:
Automate!
Now set up regular automatic payments from Daily
Expenses to all the other accounts. You can set these to go out the day after
your salary comes in. That way, before you get a chance to spend this money, it
will already have gone into other accounts.
Scott recommends setting 10% to be transferred to your Spurge account, 10% to your Smile account, and 20% to your Fire Extinguisher account. These percentages can be different for you, depending on your priorities. Now you can see what’s left in Daily Expenses and how much money you have for your living costs. You will realize it’s not that hard to spend less than you earn.
Let’s
Summarize!
So let’s summarize the 6 steps. Step 1,
find a way to save $2,000 and put that in a separate bank account called Mojo.
Step 2, find a way to live on 60% of your
income by earning more and/or spending less
Step 3, find a bank account that has no
fees, and this may well be an online bank.
Step 4, open 2 current accounts. One called
Daily Expenses. This is where your salary goes in, and this is where your
expenses go out. The second current account is called Splurge. This one is for
your guilt-free expenses. Make sure you have a debit card for both of these
accounts to track your spending.
Step 5, open two high-interest accounts.
One is going to be called Smile. It’s for your holidays and other things that
take a few months to save up for. The other one’s going to be called Fire Extinguisher,
which is for your longer-term financial fires. It could be for paying off debt,
saving up for a down payment for a house, or just putting towards unexpected
costs in the future.
Step 6, automate to make the whole process
easier.
My Results
I’ve been doing the barefoot investor process for three months now. While doing it, I’ve been able to save an extra $500 into my long-term savings. And that’s been relatively easy. I’ve been able to do it while enjoying my life pretty much at the same level as before. I’ve just been a bit more aware of what I’m spending money on. So I find this very useful. It’s helping me feel more confident now about my longer-term financial future.
So, I highly recommend that you check out The Barefoot Investor by Scott Pape. I ‘m sure you’ll find it extremely valuable, especially if you’re in Australia. The examples are Australian based, but if you live in another country, the principles are the same. You’ll just need to do a bit of your own research to find the best banks and policies for things like insurance.
You’ll soon realize that it’s very possible
to spend less than you earn and still live a happy and fulfilled life. You will
be amazed by the results!
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
https://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Spend-less-than-you-earn-self-help-for-life.jpg4561200Paul Thomashttp://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Self-Help-Logo-white-BG-blue-095da1-.pngPaul Thomas2019-11-15 08:07:192023-07-08 10:31:57How to Spend Less Than You Earn and Still Be Happy | Barefoot Investor
At certain points in our lives, we strongly feel the need to make some changes. What would you like to change in your life right now? What would make a significant difference for you? What would improve your lifestyle? Maybe, getting a great new job. Or, a change in your career. Perhaps, falling in love or losing 20kg or 45lb. Maybe, overcoming anxiety or depression.
Whatever it is for you, I’m going to share with you a process that will help you significantly change your life in 100 days or less.
Reflecting on my life, I’ve noticed
that I am pretty good at making significant life changes in 100 days or less.
My first life change happened when I went to university. At school, I was a
quiet, shy kid. I had a couple of friends. I didn’t do the social things that
most people my age were doing.
Then, the time came to go to
university. Since it was located in another city, I had to move. I saw that as
a wonderful opportunity! I was going to be in a different place with entirely
new people. So, I decided to change my life. I was determined to become a more
confident, extrovert, and sociable person. During my first 100 days at university,
I changed a lot as a person. I really came out of my shell.
Then in my late 20s, I went from being
single with no dates to regular dating and meeting my wife. Then from a boring
job at London Underground to becoming a software trainer in a top 10 law firm.
A few years later, I moved from
London to Sydney and achieved this in 100 days as well.
More recently, setting up my hypnotherapy practice was part of a 100-day challenge. In another 100-day challenge, I launched my Self Help for Life website, YouTube channel and Podcast.
Intense Desire
and a Plan
In all of these significant life changes that I did in 100 days or less, there were always two things present. First of all, an intense desire. I really wanted that change to happen. And secondly, a plan. I had a detailed and worked out plan.
So, do you want to change your life in 100 days or less but don’t know where to start? If so, keep reading. I will lead you through a process that will help you achieve your goals in 100 days or less.
The Initial
Steps – Setting Yourself Up for Success
1. Set Clear Goals
Get clear on what you’re aiming for.
Is it a change of career or an increase in income? Is it falling in love or
losing weight?
Here is an example from my own life.
Back in 2000, I wanted to change my career and become an IT trainer. I didn’t
have any training qualifications at the time, just a little bit of experience.
I could get a qualification, but that required time and money. My goal was to
get a job as an IT trainer within 3 months without getting a qualification. It
was a very specific goal.
Within 3 months, I did get a job as
an IT trainer in one of the top 10 law firms. I had to take a bit of a salary
drop, but I didn’t mind. Enjoyment, fulfillment, and satisfaction were much
more important to me. Because I enjoyed the job, I got very good at it. So
within 3 years, I moved to another law firm, and I got a better salary.
When you change your career to start
doing something you enjoy, you get enthusiastic. That enthusiasm helps you
provide a lot more value. Consequently, you get rewarded financially for that.
To change your life in 100 days, you
need to know what your goal is and then decide when you’re going to achieve it.
In this case, its within 100 days.
You might also want to set some deadlines
for smaller tasks you need to do to achieve that goal. Deadlines are very
important because they spur you into action. Think back to the exams and
assignments at school and how they motivated you to study. We also have
deadlines at work. We do our best to achieve those deadlines because we don’t
want to let people down. So, it’s essential to set your own non-negotiable
deadlines.
Deadlines Spur
You into Action
Here is an example of how a deadline
spurred me into action. In 2009, my wife and I decided to move from London, UK
to Sydney, Australia. I resigned from my job in London. I had to give 3-month’s
notice, so that kicked off the process.
Then there were other things to do.
I wanted to get a job in Sydney before we got there. We had to get rid of all
the things that we didn’t want to take to Australia. We also had the ultimate
deadline – the flight we booked for Sydney.
We set a date to move out of our apartment
in London that we linked to that ultimate deadline. We had to have everything
shipped by that time. When I look back, it’s just amazing how much we got done.
Those deadlines spurred us into action.
3. Know Your
Why
Get clear on your Why. Why do you want to achieve that goal? What’s the benefit? Having more money? Finding love? Or, maybe gaining confidence?
When I changed my job and became an
IT trainer, my Why was clear. I wanted a job that would be satisfying,
fulfilling, and enjoyable. Think about the reasons you want to achieve your
goals.
4. Create an
Action Plan
We know the What, the When, and the
Why. Now let’s focus on the How.
Brainstorm!
First of all, brainstorm all the
different things you can do to achieve this goal. Write everything down,
however bizarre or weird it seems to be. Once you’ve done that, decide on the action
steps that look realistic. Then work out which steps to do when.
What action steps can you complete
in the first 20 days, then 40, 60, 80, and finally – 100 days. This will be your
roadmap of what you need to do to change your life in 100 days.
Brainstorming
My Hypnotherapy Business
My first brainstorming for my hypnotherapy business was during my hypnotherapy training. I did this together with my group. We all jotted down the things that we would need to do to get our business off the ground. After that, we worked out the most important things. I realized I needed to find a consulting room and get a business bank account. I also had to get my professional membership with the Australian Hypnotherapists Association. And I needed to create a website and do some advertising. For all these goals, I set up deadlines or final dates to achieve them.
I now had my road map. Apart from
making my 100-day challenge easier, it also helped me check my progress. I
could easily see whether I was on or off track.
5. Decide and
Commit
The next initial step is to decide
when you’re going to work on achieving your goals. Set aside time and stick to
it. Maybe, early in the morning before you do anything else. Perhaps a couple
of hours in the evening. I have personally always found mornings to be the best
time. I love the feeling of getting things done before breakfast or before
going to work.
The important thing is that you’re
consistent. You should work on your goal 6 days a week for at least 30 minutes.
Ideally, it should be more if you want to get the very best results. Remember
that this is a life-changing goal. So you want to make it a priority in your
life.
6.
Accountability
Find a Mentor
It’s much harder to miss a goal when
someone else knows about it. It could be a professional, like a coach, mentor,
or a personal trainer. Professionals know how to motivate you and inspire you.
They can see your blind spots and teach you crucial things. Most importantly,
they can hold you accountable.
The other option is to find a friend
that you can be accountable to. Pick the right friend, someone who believes in
you. But who can also hold you accountable, follow up on you and make sure
you’re making progress.
Post on Social
Media
You can also put your goals and your
action plans on social media. Then, they’re out there for the whole world or
your followers to check up on you and make sure you’re accountable.
Let’s recap. We’ve set a clear goal,
we’ve set our non-negotiable deadlines, we’ve created an action plan. We
decided when we’re going to commit and take action on this goal, and we’ve got
some accountability. Let’s move on to the weekly steps.
Your Weekly
Steps To Success
1. Create a
List of Weekly Tasks
What are the things you need to do
this week to get closer to achieving your goal? Create weekly tasks that will
help you change your life in 100 days. These tasks should be things that are
under your control. For example, if you’re looking for a new job, it could be
to send off your CV or resume to 10 companies. It could be to run or walk for
30 minutes, 5 times a week, if you’re trying to lose weight.
I usually set these weekly tasks on a Sunday. I keep it really simple. I make a to-do list in Evernote. One of my current 100-day challenge goals has been to have a greater balance in life. So some of my weekly tasks have included getting in touch and meeting up with 1 friend per week. The other is doing weight training 3 times a week. Also, doing some self-development or a morning ritual, 4 times a week, for 30 minutes.
2. After-Action
Review
The next weekly task is to do an
after-action review. The first part of this review is to score yourself. 1 is
not productive, 2 is poor, 3 is average, 4 is good, and 5 is exceptional. It’s
a bit like doing a school report, except you are both the teacher and the
student.
Next, write down all the things that
you achieved that week. Write down your actions, strategies, and lucky breaks
that led you to success. Then identify the actions, attitudes, and obstacles
that negatively affected your progress. Once you’ve done that, come up with
your future actions. You now know what didn’t go so well last week. What are
you going to do next week to get back on track based on that?
I believe that the weekly
after-action review is crucial to your success in changing your life in 100
days. It will prevent you from going down a rabbit hole, which is doing a task
for far longer than you need to. Or even worse, doing a task that is not
helping you towards your goal. The after-action review enables you to identify
what’s working and what’s not working.
I do this religiously every week
now. After recent weekly after-action reviews, I have identified that I’m super
consistent and focused on creating content for Self Help for Life. But also
that I’m spending very little time on my own self-development.
3. Check-in
with Your Accountability Buddy or on Social Media
If you have an accountability buddy,
a mentor, or a coach, send them your after-action review. Ask for their input.
Or, post it on social media. It’s important for two reasons.
Firstly, it makes sure you do the
after-action review in the first place. You’re accountable for doing that. And
secondly, it allows you to explain to someone else where you came up short and
how you’re going to change that.
4. Celebrate
Your Wins!
Your final weekly task is to
celebrate. Remember that what gets rewarded gets repeated. So, celebrate what
you did well and give yourself a little treat. That will inspire and motivate
you to achieve even bigger things in the next week.
Your Daily
Steps to Success
There are some things you will want to
do every day to change your life in 100 days. The first thing, ideally as soon
as you get out of bed, is to spend 15 minutes getting inspired, motivated, and
educated. Watch a motivating video, listen to a motivating podcast, or read a few
pages of a self-help book. You need to feel motivated. You need the inspiration
to take action. You also need education to know what to do. It’s essential to
have a success mindset. Remember that if you want to achieve something amazing
in 100 days or less, you can no longer do what you used to do. You’ll need to develop
different attitudes, skills, and behaviors to what you normally do.
1. Review the
100-day Challenge Goal
One of the initial steps you did
right at the start was to set a SMART goal. You need to review that goal, read
it out, read it out loud if you can, maybe even write it down. Make sure to
review it every day. Also, examine the tasks and actions you did the day
before. Think about what you achieved yesterday and what you didn’t achieve?
2. Review Your
Weekly Action Plan
The action plan consists of tasks that you set after you did your after-action review. Decide what you’re going to do today. Write it down as a to-do list. I usually do this in Evernote. You’re going to end up with a list of things that you will commit to doing today. That’s very important. Don’t write too much down on that list. You want to be confident that you can do all those things today.
3. Take Action!
Make sure that you accomplish all the tasks that you set yourself for the day. Dedicate at least 30 minutes every day to these tasks, ideally a lot more. But if you can commit to a minimum of 30 minutes, that will keep the goal in your mind. There will be days when you won’t feel like taking action. I have days like that. I’m sure you do, too. The key here is – to just do it, to get the work done. That will lead to the feeling that you want it. Remember that the alignment with your goals is much more important than how you feel at the moment.
Ready to Make a
Change in Your Life in 100 days?
These are the most important steps you have to do to change your life in 100 days. If you are determined to make a huge change in the next 100 days, check out the 100-day challenge. I’ve been doing the 100-day challenge now for the fourth time. This time I doubled the number of hypnotherapy clients that I see weekly. I highly recommend and really believe in this program!
I hope you are now ready to change your life in 100 days. Follow the steps, be determined, and keep going! If you need any help, feel free to reach out to me. Good luck!
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
https://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Change-Your-Life-in-100-Days-self-help-for-life.jpg4561200Paul Thomashttp://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Self-Help-Logo-white-BG-blue-095da1-.pngPaul Thomas2019-11-05 05:01:462023-07-08 10:31:58How to Change Your Life in 100 Days
If you want success, it’s essential to have a burning desire. All success gurus out there will tell you that. And they are right! But what if you don’t have it? Very few of them will show you how to develop it.
Can you Develop a Desire for Success if you don’t have it?
This has bugged me for years. I was
determined to find out whether a desire for success was a learnable skill or
not. I discovered two things. Firstly, yes, it is a learnable skill. Secondly,
you need to fuel that burning desire. All successful people are adding fuel to
their desire to keep it burning, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously.
When you come up with a new idea,
you naturally get that burning desire. Maybe you want to lose weight or gain
muscle. Or you are ready for a new career or business direction. It’s exciting
because it’s new, and you have that initial inspiration. You enjoy the learning
side of it.
Over time, it starts to fade. If you
want to continue, you’ve got to keep that desire burning. Why does that happen?
Because eventually, you’re going to hit some obstacles. If you don’t have
enough passion, those obstacles will cause you to quit. Or, be inconsistent
with the activity necessary to achieve success.
A burning desire for success is a 100% commitment to achieving the goal. It’s going from hoping to knowing. It’s when you want it so badly that quitting is not an option. It’s when you will do whatever it takes to achieve it. You will find a way or make a way. In your mind, you already see that goal happening. It’s a continual creative drive. Ask yourself now, am I really driven towards the goal that I want to achieve?
I’m now going to cover the 7 best
ways to create a burning desire for success. This will help you achieve your
goals and the life of your dreams.
Some of these questions may not be relevant to every goal, but they will help you get really specific. I’ll give you a couple of examples. Let’s say you have an online business. Your goal is to make $5,000 a month of passive income. You can commit to it 20 hours a week. You want to achieve it by the end of 2020. That is a highly specific business goal.
For a weight-loss example, it could
be how much weight you want to lose. Specifically, how much body fat or what
body fat percentage? Do you also want to gain muscle? When do you want to
achieve it? Within the next three months? Or six months?
Whatever the goal, be as specific as
you can. But don’t get too perfectionistic. The main thing is that you have a
goal. Write it down. Over time, add the details as they become more obvious.
Create a Plan
You’ve set the goal. Now you need to
create a plan. You may not know how you’re going to achieve that goal right
away. Just start with some steps. Your plan doesn’t have to be too precise. You
can develop it over time, but it’s essential to have a game plan.
People that have a strong desire for
success are always setting goals and creating plans. The more specific your
goals and plans are, the higher your desire will be. Keep developing the plan over
time and notice how the desire for success increases.
2. Focus on Your Goals Daily
You need fuel to keep the fire burning. Review your goals every day. That will keep fueling your burning desire. Successful people do this, consciously or unconsciously.
Think about falling in love. What’s
it like? You’re constantly thinking about that other person. The more you think
about that person, the more you feel love. That feeling gets stronger and
stronger. You feel the burning desire.
People stay in love because they
keep thinking about that person for years and decades. Sometimes people seem to
fall out of love because they stop thinking about that person. They stop
caring. If you’ve ever been in love, you can use that experience to achieve
that burning desire in other areas of your life.
How to focus on
your goals
The simplest way to focus is to read your goals out loud. Or, to create and read positive affirmations that are relevant to your goals.
Another great way is to visualize having achieved the goal in great detail. Details are very important. Make the image bright, vivid, and colorful. If you can, make it in 3 dimensions, panoramic, and animated. Make sure that you’re visualizing through your own eyes, not seeing yourself in the image. You could listen to inspiring music while you’re doing that to add an extra effect to it.
You could use a vision board. Have a
board and post images of your goals. Look at that daily. You could put
screensavers on your computer or your mobile phone. These are all great ways.
Whatever you do, the key thing is to incorporate feelings. That’s important because your subconscious mind really picks up on feelings. This will help your unconscious mind start believing you’ve already achieved that goal. Feelings are super important. Make sure you incorporate feelings when you focus on your goals daily.
3. Know What You’re Willing to Give or Sacrifice
You might need to give your time,
effort, or money. Maybe you’ll have to study or learn how to achieve your goal.
Perhaps, you’ll need to let go or give up a few things, such as time with
friends or nights in front of the TV. You must know what you’re willing to give
up or sacrifice.
If it’s a business goal, focus on
what you’re going to give to other people. The more value you can give to other
people, the more successful you’ll be in the long term. This is a good one
because it can get you out of your own head. If you think more about how to
help other people, you’ll focus less on the time and effort that you’re putting
into it.
4. Take Immediate Action
I have found this to be very important. When I’m taking action consistently, I continue to fuel that desire for success. When I take a few days off, I start to see doubts coming into my mind. My desire seems to reduce, and I feel less motivated.
So, if you have a new goal, ask
yourself, what is the first obvious step? What’s the first obvious thing you
need to do? Here are some examples. If you want an online business, the first
obvious step would be to buy a domain name for your website. If you’re looking
to lose weight, the first obvious step would be to go into the fridge and clear
out all the junk food. If you want to change your career, the first obvious
step would be to update your CV or resume. Or research some courses that could
help you gain new skills.
You could spend 3 or 4 hours coming
up with a grand plan for achieving your goal. Instead, I recommend that you
perform or act on the very first step. Do that and then make a plan. That will
help you create and maintain that burning desire.
5. Make the Pleasure Outweigh the Pain
Focus on the benefits of achieving
your goal. Think less about the effort, time, or money involved. Focusing more
on pleasure will help you to fuel that desire for success.
When you focus more on the pain and the work involved, you begin to procrastinate. Motivation reduces. You start taking less action. When you take less action, that desire for success starts to fade. So you must keep focusing on the benefits.
6. Replace Negative Energy with Positive Energy
It can be tough to stay motivated
and positive when there are lots of negative sources of energy around you.
These can include the news. Instead of reading the news or watching it on TV,
watch educational programs.
Maybe you have negative people
around. Sometimes it’s hard to keep these people out of your life. Especially
if they’re family or close friends. What you can do is try to minimize their
influence as much as you can.
For some people, watching horror
movies or reading horror books can lead to a negative state. If that’s the case
with you, avoid that for a while.
Also, simple things like having a
clean and tidy desk with no distractions could be helpful. Or, laughing more.
Watch funny programs on TV or funny YouTube videos. Get that nice positive
feeling.
Think about this. Are you achieving things to be happy, or are you happily achieving? This idea comes from Steve Pavlina. Most people feel that they must achieve things to be happy. For example, I will be happy when I leave college, get married, become a senior manager or buy a house. But what would it be like to be happy during the process? To be happily achieving rather than achieving to be happy.
7. Burn the
Boats!
If all else fails, use this method
to create a burning desire. What does “burn the boats” mean? Let me
give you a little bit of history.
Back in 1519, Hernan Cortes led 600
Spaniards in 11 boats to Mexico. His goal was to capture the magnificent
treasure that was believed to be in Mexico. Upon arrival, Cortes ordered the
ships to be burnt and destroyed. Why did he do that? Because it meant that he
and all his troops were going to win or perish. They had a much higher burning
desire to win because their whole life was at stake. Two years later, they
conquered Mexico.
A point of no
return
So the story about the burning boats
represents a point of no return. It’s a psychological commitment. You have
crossed a line, and you’re never going back. In today’s modern world, we don’t
need to do something as extreme as that. But there are some things that we can
do. The trick here is that there’s no hedging. There’s no looking back over
your shoulder. Everything, all your thoughts, and efforts are now directed
towards achieving your goal. You cannot go back; you’ve crossed that point of
no return.
I deliberately left this one to last
because it is the hardest one to achieve. I recommend you work on the others
first. But, if this is what you need to get yourself going, then do it. Here
are some of the ways you can burn your boats in the modern world where it’s not
a life-or-death situation.
Make your goals
public
You can do this by telling your
friends or having an accountability partner. You could post them on social
media. That gives a psychological commitment because you’ve told someone else,
and they’re accountable. You’re going to feel bad if you fail to achieve your
goals because you’re going to have to explain to them why. That is an excellent
psychological way of burning your boats.
Write your resignation letter
If you’ve got a business goal and
you plan to quit your day job, then you could write a resignation letter. Give
it to a friend and get them to post it or email it to your manager on a
specific date. That point of no return means you’ve got to be at a stage where
you can earn a full-time income by that date.
Place a bet
Here is another way of burning your boats.
You could place a bet. You will lose money if you don’t achieve the goal. As
there’s money at stake, this is likely to be very effective!
In Conclusion
Doing these 7 things will help you
create a greater belief in achieving your dreams. Your faith in your plans will
grow stronger. Most importantly, you will create and maintain that burning
desire for success. Good luck!
Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Paul
https://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Desire-for-Success-self-help-for-life.jpg4561200Paul Thomashttp://selfhelpforlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Self-Help-Logo-white-BG-blue-095da1-.pngPaul Thomas2019-10-20 05:34:512023-07-08 10:32:00The 7 Best Ways to Create a Burning Desire for Success
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