Tag Archive for: self help for life

The 7 Secrets to Achieving Big Goals

The process of achieving big goals in your life consists of several crucial steps. As the benefits and rewards from achieving a big goal do not come immediately, a different approach is required.

When achieving big goals, you need the motivation and desire to stick at it for several months or even years. It involves cultivating success habits and following success principles. It is important to combine this with consistent and effective action that continues until you achieve your big goal.

In this article, I cover the 7 secrets to achieving big goals. You will also learn what a big goal is and why it requires a different mindset to other goals in your life.

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What is a big goal? I would define a big goal as something like starting a new business, changing career or losing a significant amount of weight. It could also include gaining a new qualification, especially if you’re doing this part-time whilst maintaining a job or career. It’s any goal that is going to be life-changing for you and is probably going to take months or possibly years to achieve.

So here are 7 ways to help you achieve your big goals.

1.  Measure your Progress

With a big goal, the reward doesn’t come until you’ve either completed the goal or you’re close to the finish line. This could be quite a while into the future. In the meantime, you will want to break the big goal into smaller steps so that you can measure your progress. You can then check whether you are achieving the smaller steps or not.

That’s how you will measure your progress and check that you are getting closer to achieving your big goals. Also, give yourself a small reward when you complete each step. What gets rewarded gets repeated.

2. Perseverance

Perseverance is the ability to keep going when the results are not immediate.  This is often the case with larger long term goals. To create and fuel perseverance, get a clear vision of the end result and remind yourself of it regularly.  This will really help you do the work involved to achieve this goal.

Also by measuring your progress (as mentioned in step 1), you will enjoy seeing the completion of the smaller steps.  This will confirm that you are on the right track and will help you to keep persevering.

3.  Flexibility

This is the flexibility to change tack. If you continue doing the same thing, you’re likely to continue getting the same result. Now it’s important to do the same thing consistently for a while because it can sometimes take time to get results. I feel that 6 months is a good timeframe to evaluate if what you’re doing is working. Measure your progress and be prepared to change when a different approach is required. Your Why can stay the same, but sometimes the How needs to change. So it’s important to be flexible and to do different things whilst always keeping your end goal in mind, so you don’t go off track.

There is a balance here between being flexible and dabbling. When being flexible you give your approach a reasonable chance to succeed before changing tack. You can then make an objective decision on whether to try a different approach or not.

Dabbling, on the other hand, is trying something for a couple of months until something that seems better comes along. This happens a lot with diets, exercise programs, and online business opportunities. Doing something new is exciting, it gives you hope, a dopamine hit or adrenaline rush! This motivates, inspires and gives you the energy to take action. But it doesn’t last. You need to keep going long after these feelings disappear to determine objectively if what you are doing is working. So make sure you don’t dabble!

4.  Quieten the Noise

When attempting something new, or that stretches your comfort zone, your subconscious mind will try and protect you.  It does this through negative self-talk. Or by questioning why you’re doing this big goal or the work involved. Negative thoughts and self-talk then lead to negative feelings such as doubt, fear or a sense of not being good enough or worthy enough.

When this happens, remind yourself that this is okay and quite normal. It happens when doing new things, challenging yourself and striving to be more.

Here are some other great strategies to quieten the mental chatter. Use these when negative thoughts and self-talk continue to dominate your mind.

  • Mentally say the word “STOP” when you notice a negative thought. You can even say “STOP” out loud if you prefer.
  • Put a rubber band on your wrist. When you notice a negative thought, pull the rubber band and let go, so it snaps on your wrist. It will hurt a little. But it will force your mind back into the present moment.
  • Imagine turning down the volume of a negative thought. Visualize using a volume control knob or remote control device to reduce the volume of the self-talk.
  • Replace any words such as “should”, “have” or “must” with softer words such as “could”, “can” or “choose”.
  • Ignore the thoughts and take action anyway. This works great with negative feelings too, such as procrastination. Simply ignore the feelings and take action anyway. Act and the feeling you want will come.

I also encourage you to focus more on your goal and your dream. This is key to achieving big goals. Your brain then has less time to think about worries, fears, and doubts. And the same for when you experience negative feelings such as procrastination or a lack of motivation. Again, just ignore these feelings and take action anyway.

Remember, you have a choice over which thoughts and feelings to listen and pay attention too.

5. Daily Habits

This is a big one!  It involves taking consistent action on your goal every day. First thing in the morning can be a great time.  You’re fresh and there are fewer distractions.  That’s when I take the most action on the big things in my life. It’s a great way to start the day. I love the feeling of having done something towards the most important goals in my life early in the day.

Most people tend to overestimate the number of things they need to do in a day and underestimate what they can achieve in 2, 3 or 5 years. Take consistent action for months or even years at a time and amazing things start to happen!

Initially, you need qualities such as motivation, perseverance, and tenacity to get going. However, as you keep going, it will become a habit. Once you get into the habit of working on a particular goal it becomes easy to do the work involved consistently.

Related Article: How to Set and Achieve Your Goals

6.  Patience

Big goals rarely go to plan and sometimes they take a bit longer than you would want them to take.  I struggle with this one because I like things to happen fast! However, it is important to accept and be grateful for where you are now and the progress you have already made. 

With patience comes calmness and clear-headedness, two things you really want when you’re working on achieving big goals.

7.  Never Give Up!

I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before. Never give up on your ultimate goal or dream. This can be the single difference between someone that is successful and someone that’s not.  The people that fail simply give up, often extremely close to achieving the goal.

Sometimes you will need to make a dramatic change in direction to achieve your ultimate goal. That’s okay. If you have given something a fair shot, sometimes a dramatic change in approach is necessary. You will always retain the learnings, experiences, and how the previous approach helped you develop as a person. You can never lose that. So change your approach if you need to, but never give up on your ultimate goal or dream.

So these are my 7 tips for achieving big goals. I hope you found these useful. I wish you every success in applying these strategies to the big goals that you have in your life right now.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

How to Change Your Life in 100 Days

At certain points in our lives, we strongly feel the need to make some changes. What would you like to change in your life right now? What would make a significant difference for you? What would improve your lifestyle? Maybe, getting a great new job. Or, a change in your career. Perhaps, falling in love or losing 20kg or 45lb. Maybe, overcoming anxiety or depression.

Whatever it is for you, I’m going to share with you a process that will help you significantly change your life in 100 days or less.

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How I Have Changed My Life in 100 Days

Reflecting on my life, I’ve noticed that I am pretty good at making significant life changes in 100 days or less. My first life change happened when I went to university. At school, I was a quiet, shy kid. I had a couple of friends. I didn’t do the social things that most people my age were doing.

Then, the time came to go to university. Since it was located in another city, I had to move. I saw that as a wonderful opportunity! I was going to be in a different place with entirely new people. So, I decided to change my life. I was determined to become a more confident, extrovert, and sociable person. During my first 100 days at university, I changed a lot as a person. I really came out of my shell.

Then in my late 20s, I went from being single with no dates to regular dating and meeting my wife. Then from a boring job at London Underground to becoming a software trainer in a top 10 law firm.

A few years later, I moved from London to Sydney and achieved this in 100 days as well.

More recently, setting up my hypnotherapy practice was part of a 100-day challenge. In another 100-day challenge, I launched my Self Help for Life website, YouTube channel and Podcast.

Intense Desire and a Plan

In all of these significant life changes that I did in 100 days or less, there were always two things present. First of all, an intense desire. I really wanted that change to happen. And secondly, a plan. I had a detailed and worked out plan.

So, do you want to change your life in 100 days or less but don’t know where to start? If so, keep reading.  I will lead you through a process that will help you achieve your goals in 100 days or less.

The Initial Steps – Setting Yourself Up for Success

1. Set Clear Goals

Get clear on what you’re aiming for. Is it a change of career or an increase in income? Is it falling in love or losing weight?

Ensure that you set a SMART Goal.  SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound.  Click here to learn more about setting SMART goals.

My Change of Career Challenge

Here is an example from my own life. Back in 2000, I wanted to change my career and become an IT trainer. I didn’t have any training qualifications at the time, just a little bit of experience. I could get a qualification, but that required time and money. My goal was to get a job as an IT trainer within 3 months without getting a qualification. It was a very specific goal.

Within 3 months, I did get a job as an IT trainer in one of the top 10 law firms. I had to take a bit of a salary drop, but I didn’t mind. Enjoyment, fulfillment, and satisfaction were much more important to me. Because I enjoyed the job, I got very good at it. So within 3 years, I moved to another law firm, and I got a better salary.

When you change your career to start doing something you enjoy, you get enthusiastic. That enthusiasm helps you provide a lot more value. Consequently, you get rewarded financially for that.

Phrase Your Goals as Affirmations

I find it very helpful to phrase my goals as affirmations. For example, I will easily lose 20kg or 45lb, I will easily increase my confidence, or I will easily find a new job. Repeat them every day. If you want to learn more about goal setting, check my article on how to set and achieve your goals.

2. Set Specific Non-negotiable Deadlines

To change your life in 100 days, you need to know what your goal is and then decide when you’re going to achieve it. In this case, its within 100 days.

You might also want to set some deadlines for smaller tasks you need to do to achieve that goal. Deadlines are very important because they spur you into action. Think back to the exams and assignments at school and how they motivated you to study. We also have deadlines at work. We do our best to achieve those deadlines because we don’t want to let people down. So, it’s essential to set your own non-negotiable deadlines.

Deadlines Spur You into Action

Here is an example of how a deadline spurred me into action. In 2009, my wife and I decided to move from London, UK to Sydney, Australia. I resigned from my job in London. I had to give 3-month’s notice, so that kicked off the process.

Then there were other things to do. I wanted to get a job in Sydney before we got there. We had to get rid of all the things that we didn’t want to take to Australia. We also had the ultimate deadline – the flight we booked for Sydney.

We set a date to move out of our apartment in London that we linked to that ultimate deadline. We had to have everything shipped by that time. When I look back, it’s just amazing how much we got done. Those deadlines spurred us into action.

3. Know Your Why

Get clear on your Why. Why do you want to achieve that goal? What’s the benefit? Having more money? Finding love? Or, maybe gaining confidence?

When I changed my job and became an IT trainer, my Why was clear. I wanted a job that would be satisfying, fulfilling, and enjoyable. Think about the reasons you want to achieve your goals.

4. Create an Action Plan

We know the What, the When, and the Why. Now let’s focus on the How.

Brainstorm!

First of all, brainstorm all the different things you can do to achieve this goal. Write everything down, however bizarre or weird it seems to be. Once you’ve done that, decide on the action steps that look realistic. Then work out which steps to do when.

What action steps can you complete in the first 20 days, then 40, 60, 80, and finally – 100 days. This will be your roadmap of what you need to do to change your life in 100 days.

Brainstorming My Hypnotherapy Business

My first brainstorming for my hypnotherapy business was during my hypnotherapy training. I did this together with my group. We all jotted down the things that we would need to do to get our business off the ground. After that, we worked out the most important things. I realized I needed to find a consulting room and get a business bank account. I also had to get my professional membership with the Australian Hypnotherapists Association. And I needed to create a website and do some advertising. For all these goals, I set up deadlines or final dates to achieve them.

I now had my road map. Apart from making my 100-day challenge easier, it also helped me check my progress. I could easily see whether I was on or off track.

5. Decide and Commit

The next initial step is to decide when you’re going to work on achieving your goals. Set aside time and stick to it. Maybe, early in the morning before you do anything else. Perhaps a couple of hours in the evening. I have personally always found mornings to be the best time. I love the feeling of getting things done before breakfast or before going to work.

The important thing is that you’re consistent. You should work on your goal 6 days a week for at least 30 minutes. Ideally, it should be more if you want to get the very best results. Remember that this is a life-changing goal. So you want to make it a priority in your life.

6. Accountability

Find a Mentor

It’s much harder to miss a goal when someone else knows about it. It could be a professional, like a coach, mentor, or a personal trainer. Professionals know how to motivate you and inspire you. They can see your blind spots and teach you crucial things. Most importantly, they can hold you accountable.

If you’d like me to be your coach or mentor, then go here to find further details.

Find an Accountability Buddy

The other option is to find a friend that you can be accountable to. Pick the right friend, someone who believes in you. But who can also hold you accountable, follow up on you and make sure you’re making progress.

Post on Social Media

You can also put your goals and your action plans on social media. Then, they’re out there for the whole world or your followers to check up on you and make sure you’re accountable.

Let’s recap. We’ve set a clear goal, we’ve set our non-negotiable deadlines, we’ve created an action plan. We decided when we’re going to commit and take action on this goal, and we’ve got some accountability. Let’s move on to the weekly steps.

Your Weekly Steps To Success

1. Create a List of Weekly Tasks

What are the things you need to do this week to get closer to achieving your goal? Create weekly tasks that will help you change your life in 100 days. These tasks should be things that are under your control. For example, if you’re looking for a new job, it could be to send off your CV or resume to 10 companies. It could be to run or walk for 30 minutes, 5 times a week, if you’re trying to lose weight.

I usually set these weekly tasks on a Sunday. I keep it really simple. I make a to-do list in Evernote. One of my current 100-day challenge goals has been to have a greater balance in life. So some of my weekly tasks have included getting in touch and meeting up with 1 friend per week. The other is doing weight training 3 times a week. Also, doing some self-development or a morning ritual, 4 times a week, for 30 minutes.

2. After-Action Review

The next weekly task is to do an after-action review. The first part of this review is to score yourself. 1 is not productive, 2 is poor, 3 is average, 4 is good, and 5 is exceptional. It’s a bit like doing a school report, except you are both the teacher and the student.

Next, write down all the things that you achieved that week. Write down your actions, strategies, and lucky breaks that led you to success. Then identify the actions, attitudes, and obstacles that negatively affected your progress. Once you’ve done that, come up with your future actions. You now know what didn’t go so well last week. What are you going to do next week to get back on track based on that?

I believe that the weekly after-action review is crucial to your success in changing your life in 100 days. It will prevent you from going down a rabbit hole, which is doing a task for far longer than you need to. Or even worse, doing a task that is not helping you towards your goal. The after-action review enables you to identify what’s working and what’s not working.

I do this religiously every week now. After recent weekly after-action reviews, I have identified that I’m super consistent and focused on creating content for Self Help for Life. But also that I’m spending very little time on my own self-development.

3. Check-in with Your Accountability Buddy or on Social Media

If you have an accountability buddy, a mentor, or a coach, send them your after-action review. Ask for their input. Or, post it on social media. It’s important for two reasons.

Firstly, it makes sure you do the after-action review in the first place. You’re accountable for doing that. And secondly, it allows you to explain to someone else where you came up short and how you’re going to change that.

4. Celebrate Your Wins!

Your final weekly task is to celebrate. Remember that what gets rewarded gets repeated. So, celebrate what you did well and give yourself a little treat. That will inspire and motivate you to achieve even bigger things in the next week.

Your Daily Steps to Success

There are some things you will want to do every day to change your life in 100 days. The first thing, ideally as soon as you get out of bed, is to spend 15 minutes getting inspired, motivated, and educated. Watch a motivating video, listen to a motivating podcast, or read a few pages of a self-help book. You need to feel motivated. You need the inspiration to take action. You also need education to know what to do. It’s essential to have a success mindset. Remember that if you want to achieve something amazing in 100 days or less, you can no longer do what you used to do. You’ll need to develop different attitudes, skills, and behaviors to what you normally do.

1. Review the 100-day Challenge Goal

One of the initial steps you did right at the start was to set a SMART goal. You need to review that goal, read it out, read it out loud if you can, maybe even write it down. Make sure to review it every day. Also, examine the tasks and actions you did the day before. Think about what you achieved yesterday and what you didn’t achieve?

2. Review Your Weekly Action Plan

The action plan consists of tasks that you set after you did your after-action review. Decide what you’re going to do today. Write it down as a to-do list. I usually do this in Evernote. You’re going to end up with a list of things that you will commit to doing today. That’s very important. Don’t write too much down on that list. You want to be confident that you can do all those things today.

3. Take Action!

Make sure that you accomplish all the tasks that you set yourself for the day. Dedicate at least 30 minutes every day to these tasks, ideally a lot more. But if you can commit to a minimum of 30 minutes, that will keep the goal in your mind. There will be days when you won’t feel like taking action. I have days like that. I’m sure you do, too. The key here is – to just do it, to get the work done. That will lead to the feeling that you want it. Remember that the alignment with your goals is much more important than how you feel at the moment.

Ready to Make a Change in Your Life in 100 days?

These are the most important steps you have to do to change your life in 100 days. If you are determined to make a huge change in the next 100 days, check out the 100-day challenge. I’ve been doing the 100-day challenge now for the fourth time. This time I doubled the number of hypnotherapy clients that I see weekly. I highly recommend and really believe in this program!

I hope you are now ready to change your life in 100 days. Follow the steps, be determined, and keep going! If you need any help, feel free to reach out to me. Good luck!

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

The 7 Best Ways to Create a Burning Desire for Success

If you want success, it’s essential to have a burning desire. All success gurus out there will tell you that. And they are right! But what if you don’t have it? Very few of them will show you how to develop it.

Can you Develop a Desire for Success if you don’t have it?

This has bugged me for years. I was determined to find out whether a desire for success was a learnable skill or not. I discovered two things. Firstly, yes, it is a learnable skill. Secondly, you need to fuel that burning desire. All successful people are adding fuel to their desire to keep it burning, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously.

When you come up with a new idea, you naturally get that burning desire. Maybe you want to lose weight or gain muscle. Or you are ready for a new career or business direction. It’s exciting because it’s new, and you have that initial inspiration. You enjoy the learning side of it.

Over time, it starts to fade. If you want to continue, you’ve got to keep that desire burning. Why does that happen? Because eventually, you’re going to hit some obstacles. If you don’t have enough passion, those obstacles will cause you to quit. Or, be inconsistent with the activity necessary to achieve success.

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What is a Desire for Success?

A burning desire for success is a 100% commitment to achieving the goal. It’s going from hoping to knowing. It’s when you want it so badly that quitting is not an option. It’s when you will do whatever it takes to achieve it. You will find a way or make a way. In your mind, you already see that goal happening. It’s a continual creative drive. Ask yourself now, am I really driven towards the goal that I want to achieve?

I’m now going to cover the 7 best ways to create a burning desire for success. This will help you achieve your goals and the life of your dreams.

1. Have a Very Specific Goal and Action Plan

To come up with a really specific goal, ask yourself the following questions:

  • What do I want to achieve?
  • When do I want to achieve it?
  • Where do I want to be when I achieve it?
  • Why do I want to achieve it?
  • How am I going to achieve it?
  • With whom am I going to achieve it?

Some of these questions may not be relevant to every goal, but they will help you get really specific. I’ll give you a couple of examples. Let’s say you have an online business. Your goal is to make $5,000 a month of passive income. You can commit to it 20 hours a week. You want to achieve it by the end of 2020. That is a highly specific business goal.

For a weight-loss example, it could be how much weight you want to lose. Specifically, how much body fat or what body fat percentage? Do you also want to gain muscle? When do you want to achieve it? Within the next three months? Or six months?

Whatever the goal, be as specific as you can. But don’t get too perfectionistic. The main thing is that you have a goal. Write it down. Over time, add the details as they become more obvious.

Create a Plan

You’ve set the goal. Now you need to create a plan. You may not know how you’re going to achieve that goal right away. Just start with some steps. Your plan doesn’t have to be too precise. You can develop it over time, but it’s essential to have a game plan.

People that have a strong desire for success are always setting goals and creating plans. The more specific your goals and plans are, the higher your desire will be. Keep developing the plan over time and notice how the desire for success increases.

2. Focus on Your Goals Daily

You need fuel to keep the fire burning. Review your goals every day. That will keep fueling your burning desire. Successful people do this, consciously or unconsciously.

Think about falling in love. What’s it like? You’re constantly thinking about that other person. The more you think about that person, the more you feel love. That feeling gets stronger and stronger. You feel the burning desire.

People stay in love because they keep thinking about that person for years and decades. Sometimes people seem to fall out of love because they stop thinking about that person. They stop caring. If you’ve ever been in love, you can use that experience to achieve that burning desire in other areas of your life.

How to focus on your goals

The simplest way to focus is to read your goals out loud. Or, to create and read positive affirmations that are relevant to your goals.

Another great way is to visualize having achieved the goal in great detail. Details are very important. Make the image bright, vivid, and colorful. If you can, make it in 3 dimensions, panoramic, and animated. Make sure that you’re visualizing through your own eyes, not seeing yourself in the image. You could listen to inspiring music while you’re doing that to add an extra effect to it.

You could use a vision board. Have a board and post images of your goals. Look at that daily. You could put screensavers on your computer or your mobile phone. These are all great ways.

Whatever you do, the key thing is to incorporate feelings. That’s important because your subconscious mind really picks up on feelings. This will help your unconscious mind start believing you’ve already achieved that goal. Feelings are super important. Make sure you incorporate feelings when you focus on your goals daily.

3. Know What You’re Willing to Give or Sacrifice

You might need to give your time, effort, or money. Maybe you’ll have to study or learn how to achieve your goal. Perhaps, you’ll need to let go or give up a few things, such as time with friends or nights in front of the TV. You must know what you’re willing to give up or sacrifice.

If it’s a business goal, focus on what you’re going to give to other people. The more value you can give to other people, the more successful you’ll be in the long term. This is a good one because it can get you out of your own head. If you think more about how to help other people, you’ll focus less on the time and effort that you’re putting into it.

4. Take Immediate Action

I have found this to be very important. When I’m taking action consistently, I continue to fuel that desire for success. When I take a few days off, I start to see doubts coming into my mind. My desire seems to reduce, and I feel less motivated.

So, if you have a new goal, ask yourself, what is the first obvious step? What’s the first obvious thing you need to do? Here are some examples. If you want an online business, the first obvious step would be to buy a domain name for your website. If you’re looking to lose weight, the first obvious step would be to go into the fridge and clear out all the junk food. If you want to change your career, the first obvious step would be to update your CV or resume. Or research some courses that could help you gain new skills.

You could spend 3 or 4 hours coming up with a grand plan for achieving your goal. Instead, I recommend that you perform or act on the very first step. Do that and then make a plan. That will help you create and maintain that burning desire.

5. Make the Pleasure Outweigh the Pain

Focus on the benefits of achieving your goal. Think less about the effort, time, or money involved. Focusing more on pleasure will help you to fuel that desire for success.

When you focus more on the pain and the work involved, you begin to procrastinate. Motivation reduces. You start taking less action. When you take less action, that desire for success starts to fade. So you must keep focusing on the benefits.

6. Replace Negative Energy with Positive Energy

It can be tough to stay motivated and positive when there are lots of negative sources of energy around you. These can include the news. Instead of reading the news or watching it on TV, watch educational programs.

Maybe you have negative people around. Sometimes it’s hard to keep these people out of your life. Especially if they’re family or close friends. What you can do is try to minimize their influence as much as you can.

For some people, watching horror movies or reading horror books can lead to a negative state. If that’s the case with you, avoid that for a while.

Also, simple things like having a clean and tidy desk with no distractions could be helpful. Or, laughing more. Watch funny programs on TV or funny YouTube videos. Get that nice positive feeling.

Think about this. Are you achieving things to be happy, or are you happily achieving? This idea comes from Steve Pavlina. Most people feel that they must achieve things to be happy. For example, I will be happy when I leave college, get married, become a senior manager or buy a house. But what would it be like to be happy during the process? To be happily achieving rather than achieving to be happy.

7. Burn the Boats!

If all else fails, use this method to create a burning desire. What does “burn the boats” mean? Let me give you a little bit of history.

Back in 1519, Hernan Cortes led 600 Spaniards in 11 boats to Mexico. His goal was to capture the magnificent treasure that was believed to be in Mexico. Upon arrival, Cortes ordered the ships to be burnt and destroyed. Why did he do that? Because it meant that he and all his troops were going to win or perish. They had a much higher burning desire to win because their whole life was at stake. Two years later, they conquered Mexico.

A point of no return

So the story about the burning boats represents a point of no return. It’s a psychological commitment. You have crossed a line, and you’re never going back. In today’s modern world, we don’t need to do something as extreme as that. But there are some things that we can do. The trick here is that there’s no hedging. There’s no looking back over your shoulder. Everything, all your thoughts, and efforts are now directed towards achieving your goal. You cannot go back; you’ve crossed that point of no return.

I deliberately left this one to last because it is the hardest one to achieve. I recommend you work on the others first. But, if this is what you need to get yourself going, then do it. Here are some of the ways you can burn your boats in the modern world where it’s not a life-or-death situation.

Make your goals public

You can do this by telling your friends or having an accountability partner. You could post them on social media. That gives a psychological commitment because you’ve told someone else, and they’re accountable. You’re going to feel bad if you fail to achieve your goals because you’re going to have to explain to them why. That is an excellent psychological way of burning your boats.

Write your resignation letter

If you’ve got a business goal and you plan to quit your day job, then you could write a resignation letter. Give it to a friend and get them to post it or email it to your manager on a specific date. That point of no return means you’ve got to be at a stage where you can earn a full-time income by that date.

Place a bet

Here is another way of burning your boats. You could place a bet. You will lose money if you don’t achieve the goal. As there’s money at stake, this is likely to be very effective!

In Conclusion

Doing these 7 things will help you create a greater belief in achieving your dreams. Your faith in your plans will grow stronger. Most importantly, you will create and maintain that burning desire for success. Good luck!

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

What is the Difference between Rich and Wealthy People?

Most people think that being rich and being wealthy is the same, but it is not. There is a massive difference.

Rich or Wealthy?

What is being rich? It is having lots of money right now. Earning a six-figure income is typically regarded as being rich.

What is being wealthy? It is having lots of money right now and in the future. Wealthy people can live for months, years, or even decades without working. The reason is, they have achieved financial freedom. They’ve developed residual or passive income sources. Whether they’re working or not, they make money or money comes to them.

When your passive income is greater than your cost of living, you’re financially free. If your cost of living isn’t high, you can achieve financial freedom at a fairly low level of wealth. Robert Kiyosaki points out that the rich have lots of money, but the wealthy don’t worry about money.

Wealth can also be much broader. It can include things like your health, fitness, and family. Or, the quality of your relationships and having a sense of inner peace.

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The Difference Between Rich and Wealthy People

Let’s see what the key differences between rich and wealthy people are.

Celebrity Look vs. Modest Look

Rich people have the celebrity look. They have flash cars, Rolex watches, Gucci belts, designer clothes, and expensive jewelry. They can have all that because they’re making a good income right now. However, that income is temporary because they have no wealth. They’re just giving off the appearance of wealth. That appearance could disappear at any moment. They live from a big paycheck to a big paycheck. Or even worse, that celebrity lifestyle is financed by being in debt.

Wealthy people often have a more modest look. They don’t always go for those fancy things. They would instead save 10, 20, or 30 percent of their earnings. By doing that, they will have more in the future. If a financial crisis happens, like a recession, wealthy people will be in a better position. Why? Because they’ve already built up some money reserves. The crisis would not affect them as much – financially, mentally, or emotionally. They know that they’ve got the financial reserves to get through difficult times.

Less Going Out, More Coming In

If you earn $500,000 a year, and you spend $540,000 a year, are you rich? Well, you might look rich, but I would say you’re not. Why? Because it’s not about how much you earn, it’s about how much you keep. On a month-by-month basis, wealthy people might be earning less. But the crucial thing is that they’re saving a lot more.

Wealthy people usually have a lot less money going out than they have coming in. As a result, they don’t need to worry about money. If a short term expense comes up, they can easily afford it. They’re not spending as much as they’re earning, and they’re building up their wealth over time. Also, if something happens in the economy, they can handle it. They don’t need to worry about that.

Money-Making Knowledge

Rich people have money. Sometimes the way they made that money was a bit of luck. They were just in the right place at the right time. Wealthy people know how to make money. Rich people work for money. Wealthy people know how to make money work for them.

Often, the difference between rich and wealthy comes apparent in a recession. Both the rich and the wealthy can lose money. But, the wealthy have the knowledge. They know how to make money. So they bounce back again. There are so many examples of wealthy people that have bounced back from recessions. They knew how to make that money back again.

Is It Sustainable?

How sustainable is their money? Is it easy or hard to lose it? If you think of Bill Gates, he has so much wealth that it would be extremely hard for him to lose it. So a wealthy person has sustainable wealth.

Compare that to a rich person, for example, rich celebrities. They have lots of money now, but there’s no guarantee they’re going to have that money in the future. What if they lose their popularity? What if someone else comes along who’s more liked than they are? Or, more successful than they are?

These celebrities, even if they are successful for a while, often have a fear that they could lose it all in the future. They have that fear of losing, and they’re only rich until the money dries up. That’s often in the back of their minds. Sustainability is a crucial difference between rich and wealthy people.

Active vs. Passive Income

What is an active income? An active income is where you trade your time for money. People working a conventional job are earning an active income. Many self-employed people – like therapists, plumbers, electricians, or personal trainers – earn an active income as well. They’re providing a service, and they get paid for it.

What’s a passive income? With passive income, money is not related to your time and effort. A good source of passive income is earnings from interest on savings. Or, dividends from shares. These are excellent forms of passive income. If you write a book and get royalties from it, that’s a passive income. Or, you can buy a property and have tenants that are paying you rent. You get money from those tenants. It doesn’t matter whether you work or not, you’re getting that rental income.

Quite a lot of people make passive income through an online business. They create products that they sell online. There’s a bit of effort involved in creating the product. But once it’s done, sales come through even when they’re asleep. That’s a key difference. A passive income is a way of making money that isn’t dependent or utterly dependent on your time and effort. It means that you can take a break for a month or two, and that money will still come in.

It’s More Than Money

Rich people tend to focus on money too much. They could be working extremely long hours to make that money. Think about people like stockbrokers, lawyers, and doctors. They are rich, but they could be working 50, 60, maybe even 70 hours a week to sustain their rich lifestyle.

Wealthy people value time. Time is often the most important thing for them.

They also value friendship. That’s very important to them, too. They’re the kind of people that will help you out if needed. There’s a great saying that is “your network is your net worth”. Wealthy people are aware of the value of networks, friends, and family. This is a key difference between rich and wealthy people.

Assets vs. Liabilities

Liabilities cost money to maintain or fix them. Assets don’t. That’s the crucial difference. Examples of assets are stocks and shares or interest on a bank account. A lot of people think that a house is an asset, but it’s not. A house needs maintenance. You could buy a house for $100,000, do it up, and sell it for $200,000. That would seem like a good investment.

But, don’t forget the cost of the work involved. Unexpected costs, like leaks or roof repairs, can happen. You might still make a profit when sold, but it’s still a liability, not an asset until you sell it. You need to put money into it. There’s always a risk that you’ll need to put some money into it in the future. You have to be prepared for that.

Social Media Fascination

Wealthy people are less preoccupied with social media than rich people. I’m sure you’ve experienced this. You’ve seen someone’s new car on Facebook or exotic holiday photos on Instagram. The problem with social media is that it distorts reality. You only see the highlights of someone’s life.

It’s almost like it’s the opposite of the news. The news tells you all the bad stuff that’s going on in the world. Social media shows you all the great stuff that’s happening to other people. This can really distort reality.

What I recommend with social media is that you take it with a pinch of salt. Don’t let what other people are doing on social media distract you from your own financial goals. You can see other people traveling, having beautiful houses, or having kids in private schools. Think if they can really afford that. Are they just living paycheck to paycheck? Or, even worse, borrowing money to achieve that lifestyle?

Nothing Is More Valuable Than Freedom

You now know the difference between rich and wealthy people. Think about what being wealthy means to you. Could it be time with your family and friends? Could it be some time just for you? Perhaps, owning your own home? Maybe, having a cleaner? Or, being able to travel a lot more, and having the time to do it.

I’ll finish off with a few points from the book Simple Path to Wealth by J. L. Collins. Spend less than you earn and invest the difference. Avoid debt at all costs. Money can buy you many things, but nothing is more valuable than your freedom. So ultimately, having money will set you free. When you can live on four percent of your investments per year, you are truly financially independent.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

10 Natural Ways to Reduce Stress

Stress is something we all have to deal with almost every day. But do you really know what stress is? Or where it comes from?

Before I introduce you to 10 natural ways to reduce stress, let me answer these questions first.

What is stress?

Stress is a gap between something external and your ability or confidence to deal with it. It can also come from needing something to happen.

When you get stressed, your body answers with a chemical and emotional response, along with negative thoughts. Those thoughts create negative emotions that trigger more negative thoughts. So, you end up trapped in a vicious cycle of stress.

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4 Types of Stress

There are 4 major types of stress:

  • Time stress. This is caused by not having enough time to do all the things you need or want to do. We’ve all experienced this at some point in our lives.
  • Anticipatory stress. This is anxiety about something in the future. It could be money, health, or simply a presentation or interview coming up.
  • Situational stress. This is caused by an uncomfortable situation that you can’t control. It could be an emergency, getting laid off or making a mistake in front of your team.
  • Relationship stress. This is stress coming from relationships. This would include your husband, wife, family members, friends or colleagues.

What Is the Real Cause of Your Stress?

Is it your boss, your kids, money, business problems, bad clients, legal issues? No, it’s none of these. These are all external situations. The stress comes from how you react to those situations.

Let me give you some examples. Two employees could work for the same difficult boss and express a different reaction to that boss. Or, two people could have the same money problem, but a different response to that problem.

So it’s not the external event that causes you stress. It’s how you respond to it. Stress comes from your reaction to the situation, not the situation itself. This is extremely important!

The Stress Is Coming from You

Stress is a gap between the situation or something external and your ability to deal with it. A calm person thinks, visualizes, and imagines things differently from an anxious person. The key thing is that the stress is coming from you. It is self-created. It’s your reaction to the circumstances, not the circumstances themselves.

So ask yourself, how are you responsible for the stress that you’re experiencing? Are you creating it or allowing it into your life? Taking responsibility and control is key to long-term success in reducing stress.

Your Confidence Is Crucial

Why do some people get stressed and others don’t? It partly depends on your belief about whether you can deal with the situation or not. If you feel confident, you’re less likely to feel stressed.

Those beliefs come from your past experiences. If a certain event was stressful in the past, then you may well believe that it will also be stressful in the future. If it was easy and comfortable in the past, then you’re less likely to feel stressed about it. You will probably think it will be easy again.

Yet, many things that have stressed you previously, might not be a problem now. For example, delivering a presentation was very stressful the first time you did it. But since then, you have done it many times, and it became routine. Your confidence and competence improved, and the stress was reduced.

Excessive Stress Causes Problems

There are many problems caused by excessive stress. Here are some of them: difficulty concentrating, weight loss or weight gain, sleeping problems, negative thoughts, loss of sex drive, procrastination, aches and pains, short temper, depression, unhappiness, and increased use of artificial things to help you relax, such as alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes.

Manage Stress Symptoms!

To reduce stress, you need to work on two things. First, deal with the causes and your reactions to them. Second, manage the stress because sometimes it can take time to resolve the causes.

There are good and bad ways to reduce stress. Good ways include exercising, meditation, spending time with family and friends, or having a hobby. These are healthy and empowering. Bad ways, like gambling, drinking, taking drugs, or overeating, give you short-term benefits. But, they have long-term negative effects on your health and that will create more additional stress later in life.

The 10 Natural Ways to Reduce Stress

Now, I’m going to cover my 10 natural, helpful and efficient ways to reduce stress. They will help you manage and eliminate it.

1. Identify the things that stress you out

Is it your work or is it a relationship? Is it money or is it health? Is it uncertainty about the future? Before you can manage or eliminate the stress you must know where it comes from. Get really specific and into details. What is it about the work that’s stressing you out? What is it about your relationship that’s causing your stress? What is triggering that stress response?

2. Eliminate stress

If you can, eliminate stress now! Maybe a friend or a co-worker is causing you stress. Take some time away from that person. Even just for a while.

If you can’t eliminate stress now, make a plan to eliminate it in the future. For example, if you hate your job, you will probably have to find another one before you quit. That might take some time. If it’s money that’s stressing you, create a plan to make more money. Do more training, get new qualifications, or find a better job.

If it’s a lack of time, then slow down. Take on less, say no more often, and give yourself more time and room to grow. Just be more patient with yourself.

If it’s relationships, remember that you can’t control other people. You can only influence them. This mind shift alone may be enough to help you reduce or eliminate stress around other people.

3. Decide to do it or let it go

Ask yourself: Can I deal with this right now? If yes, go on and do it. If no, let it go. It’s pointless to stress about things that you can’t do anything about.

Are you one of those people who often check their emails on the phone? Let me give you one little tip. Before you do that, ask yourself: Can I deal with what I might see in my inbox right now? If you can’t, if you don’t have the time, don’t check your emails. Otherwise, you’re just creating additional stress.

4. Know what you can and what you can’t control

You can’t control other people. You can’t control the economy. You can’t control changes that might happen in your workplace. There’s no point in blaming someone or something else. Accept it the way it is. That’s not an easy thing to do in practice, but dealing with things that you can’t control is the key. Accept what you can’t change. That gives you the energy to focus on the things that you can change.

5. Watch funny YouTube videos

This is a great stress reliever. There is a saying, which you probably heard, that laughter is the best medicine. What about laughter is the stress medicine? Laughter is one of the best ways to reduce stress.

A good laugh forces you to take in lots of oxygen, and it decreases stress hormones. It increases your immune cells and also your infection-fighting antibodies. It improves your resistance to disease. It releases endorphins which are your body’s natural feel-good chemicals. It can even help relieve pain.

Find funny YouTube videos, watch comedies, play jokes, or listen to funny podcasts. Anything that’s going to make you laugh.

6. Talk it over with someone

Talk about your situation with other people and get their advice. That could help you gain a different perspective. It could also be a chance to release your emotions. Once you talk it through with someone, it might not seem as important as it once did. You can also learn how others dealt with things that are stressing you.

7. Consider the worst-case scenario

A lot of stress comes from asking but not answering “What If” questions. Think about the worst-case scenario. Ask yourself how would you cope if that worst-case scenario actually happened. If you messed up that presentation, what would be the consequences? Probably not as bad as you would think. Most likely, you would not lose your job.

8. Repeat positive affirmations

Positive affirmations help change negative thoughts that cause a stress response. They also ease stress symptoms.

Here are some great affirmations for you:

  • It always works out well in the end.
  • Whatever happens, I’ll handle it.
  • All challenges in life have a solution.
  • The solution or resolution will come to me.

I hope you find these useful. There are many other affirmations as well, but these four are really good at helping you relieve stress.

9. Meditate

Stress reduction is the most common reason why people meditate. Meditation reduces cortisol – the stress hormone. It helps in controlling anxiety and experiencing more positive emotions. Meditation also enables you to get behind the thoughts that are causing your reaction to a stressful situation. Any kind of meditation can help because it slows down your busy mind by focusing on one thing.

10. Exercise

Exercise reduces the stress hormone cortisol. It also releases endorphins that make you feel happier. Think about the last time you did some exercise. How did you feel afterward? Most probably, pretty good and in a better emotional state. After exercise, some of the issues that you were concerned with, might seem less important. Moving your body is a great stress reliever.

These are my 10 natural and efficient ways to reduce stress, manage it, and even eliminate it from your life. As always, do put these into practice! You will be surprised by the results!

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

The Parts of the Brain and their Functions

The human brain is fascinating in so many ways!  It has lots of different parts. In this article, I focus on the ones that are most important from a psychological perspective.

You may have heard of terms such as prefrontal cortex, amygdala, hypothalamus or hippocampus before, but do you understand what these parts of the brain do?

In this article, I will cover 5 different parts of the brain in detail and explain how these different parts of your brain work together to keep you safe.

Knowing this information will help you understand why you sometimes act emotionally or instinctively. You’ll also discover why you forget things when you’re stressed or anxious.

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It’s so important to understand how your brain works so that when you have an emotional experience or fear response, you know which area of the brain it stems from. When you forget something important, like your lines during a speech or presentation, you will begin to understand what is happening within your brain that causes this to happen. Knowing this gives you more choices and helps you find better ways to control your brain.

So, I’ll now cover the different parts of the brain that affect your mindset, emotions, and psychology.

The Prefrontal Cortex

The Prefrontal Cortex is the very front part of the brain, located just behind your eyes and forehead. When we think or become aware of our thoughts, it feels like they come from this area. It’s the part of the brain that is often described as the “conscious mind”

The Prefrontal Cortex is part of the Frontal Lobe, which is the larger front part of your brain. Together, they are part of the Neocortex, which is the whole of the top part of your brain.

Prefrontal Cortex functions

The Prefrontal Cortex is responsible for thinking, goal-setting, and prediction of outcomes. It helps us work out what we want to achieve. It’s used to plan our time, our life and how we organize things. It also determines what is good and bad or right and wrong, based on our beliefs. It helps us to evaluate options and make decisions and predicts the future consequences of our actions and how they affect other people and our life. The ability to make decisions is a key function of the Prefrontal Cortex.

The Prefrontal Cortex also controls personality expression and how we act in public by moderating social behavior. It allows us to suppress emotional urges and unhelpful thoughts to better fit in during social situations. This is why your behavior often changes when you are interacting with others.

Limbic System

The Limbic System is the center for emotional responsiveness. It is where motivation and memory formation happen. It also houses the mechanisms that keep us safe. These include things like sensory perception, time perception, attention span, and consciousness.

The main parts of the Limbic System are the Amygdala, Hippocampus, and Hypothalamus. These areas are all very closely connected to the Prefrontal Cortex and carry out functions simultaneously.

Practicing meditation and mindfulness helps to strengthen the connections (or neuropathways) between the Prefrontal Cortex and the Limbic System. So there is real scientific evidence as to why meditation and mindfulness are so good for you!

The Amygdala

The Amygdala is the emotional processing part of your brain. It receives incoming sensory inputs and provides an emotional response. It’s the early warning system for either perceived or actual threats and is a much more unconscious part of your brain.

The left side of the Amygdala deals with both positive and negative emotional responses. The right side deals mainly with negative emotional responses.

Amygdala functions

One of its most fundamental roles is directing your attention and focus to the most important sensory-stimuli, whether it is good or bad. Other unnecessary surrounding stimuli is blocked out and ignored.

This explains why you can be extremely focused on one specific person or thing, such as when in love or extremely engaged in a conversation.

When experiencing fear, your Amygdala will focus your attention on either dealing with or getting away from the threat. It activates the stress response so that you respond effectively to dangerous stimuli.

The Amygdala also evaluates facial expressions and sends this information to the Prefrontal Cortex. When you notice someone smiling at you, the Amygdala picks that up first and then triggers thoughts about that person.

Another useful function of the Amygdala is the release of hormones that can alter the cognitive processing of the Prefrontal Cortex. When under stress, blood flows away from the Prefrontal Cortex into the more emotional parts of your brain and body. Less blood in the Prefrontal Cortex is the main reason why you forget an important phrase in a speech when you’re feeling stressed. These hormones also activate the body via the Hypothalamus, which we will discuss further later in this article.

Fight, flight or freeze

The Amygdala is especially activated by surprising, ambiguous or uncertain situations. When these situations occur, it accesses memories from past experiences (and your beliefs behind these) to determine whether the incoming sensory input is a stressor or not. If it is, it will then activate an emotional response. This is typically known as the “fight, flight or freeze” response. You either attack the threat head-on (fight), run away (flight) or stand still in shock (freeze).

In a fight, flight or freeze response, the Amygdala hijacks the Prefrontal Cortex, by taking blood away from the Prefrontal Cortex and redistributing it to the Limbic System. It also activates your instinctive survival responses without you having to think about them.

The Amygdala processes information milliseconds earlier than the Prefrontal Cortex. So if a memory matches an incoming stimulus, it will act automatically and instinctively without involving the Prefrontal Cortex. If it is a new experience, the Amygdala will look to the Prefrontal Cortex for direction.

Depression and the Amygdala

Depression is linked to an enlarged Amygdala. The more frequently the Amygdala is activated, the larger it becomes. As the Amygdala gets larger over time, it increases the symptoms of depression. By examining the Amygdala and other areas of the brain, depression can now be measured scientifically.

The Hippocampus

The Hippocampus is responsible for the formation of memories. It creates structured interactions between the Hippocampus and the Prefrontal Cortex, which happens during slow brain wave sleep. This is part of the process of consolidating long-term memories while we sleep. This is one of the reasons that we have dreams.

You can think of the Hippocampus as like your brain’s Google search engine. It allows fast and efficient memory searching from the Prefrontal Cortex and other parts of the Neocortex to help assess and plan. This is important for learning, especially for physical tasks. The Hippocampus tracks your conscious steps so over time they become unconscious or second-nature.

Chronic stress negatively affects the Hippocampus. Depression can reduce the volume of the Hippocampus by between 8% and 19% as well as enlarging the Amygdala as mentioned earlier.

So the consistent thoughts and feelings that you have can cause real physical changes in your brain.

The Thalamus

The Thalamus is the central hub of your brain. It receives outside information from your senses and forwards that to other areas of your brain like the Amygdala and Prefrontal Cortex. It also helps to manage motor and cognitive functions.

The Hypothalamus

The Hypothalamus takes input from your senses via the Thalamus. It is closely connected to both the Amygdala and Hippocampus and helps control and monitor numerous vital processes.

These include your metabolism (how quickly you digest food), your circadian rhythms (what makes you feel sleepy or wide-awake) and the quality of sleep, especially the amount of deep sleep.

Your Hypothalamus also controls your body temperature and lets you know when you’re thirsty or hungry. These are a bit more unconscious and influence your body more than your mind. However, the Hypothalamus also takes psychological input from what you perceive through your senses.

Final Thoughts

The parts of the brain that control our psychology, mindset, and emotions are fascinating to learn and very useful in understanding how and why you think, feel and behave in certain ways. With this greater understanding, you will be able to tackle issues in your daily life with more clarity and focus.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

The 6 Human Needs that Drive All Good and Bad Behavior

Everything that you do is consciously or unconsciously driven by one of 6 human needs. These needs motivate and inspire us to take action in positive ways. However, when some of these needs are not met consistently, your mind will unconsciously find ways to satisfy these needs. How your mind does this is not always good for you and can lead to addictions.

Tony Robbins identified these 6 human needs and how they are behind everything that we do. If you have a behavior that you can’t seem to stop, then it is likely that one of these 6 human needs is behind it.

Let’s get into these 6 human needs right now, so that you understand why you do what you do.

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The Top 6 Human Needs Explained

I’ll start by covering the first 4 needs as these are essential to life. You will always take action in ways that fulfill these needs.

1. The Need for Certainty

Everyone craves a need for certainty, safety, security, stability, comfort, control, predictability, and consistency. We like to know what is coming next so we can prepare ourselves accordingly.

We like to seek comfort and avoid the pain of not knowing what is coming next. This need also affects your tolerance for risk. The higher your need for certainty, the fewer risks you’re willing to take. You’ll take fewer risks regarding your career, relationships, investment opportunities or health.

To meet the need for certainty, you might prioritize financial security over other things in life. You may choose to watch the same movie multiple times because you know the plot and this gives you a sense of certainty. You might choose the same holiday destination and stay at the same hotel or apartment.

Other ways to meet the need for certainty include working for the same company for many years or staying with the same partner for life.

The need for certainty can also be met in negative ways. These include eating or drinking excessively, smoking, taking recreational drugs or trying to control other people to achieve an emotional need.

You might enjoy the predictability of a dysfunctional relationship or toxic work environment, even though you know its not good for you in the long term.

2. The Need for Uncertainty

This is the need for surprise, variety, challenge, excitement, adventure, change, and even chaos. It’s the complete opposite of the first need.

Do you like surprises? – I’m guessing the answer is “yes”

We love surprises, but only if they are positive and make us feel good. However, what if the surprise is a problem or unexpected challenge? What if it’s an upset, something you didn’t expect or want in your life? That changes things a little, right?

Unexpected challenges are useful and important too. They stretch you, grow your character and develop mental toughness.

Positive or neutral ways to meet the need for uncertainty include watching or playing competitive sports. Why? because we don’t know what the outcome will be.

The need for uncertainty could also be achieved by taking calculated risks towards your goals in life or by taking part in adrenaline sports.

Ultimately, you could meet this need by going on exciting trips or holidays. You may enjoy visiting various regions of the world, staying in different places and connecting with a wide variety of people.

The need for certainty and uncertainty are related. They work as a continuum. If you have too much certainty in your life, you feel bored and begin to desire variety. If you have too much variety or change in your life, this creates additional stress and worry. You then crave security and certainty.

Find the balance between certainty and uncertainty that works best for you. Know that this will change as you go through life as well.

3. The Need for Significance

This is the need for significance, meaning & pride. It is about feeling important and valued for who you are, and for what you’re bringing to society. We all want to feel loved, needed and significant.

Positive and neutral ways to achieve this need include academic achievements such as masters’ degrees and PhDs. It might involve climbing the corporate ladder to get to an executive position in a big corporation or becoming a highly successful musician, painter or athlete.

Some people meet the need for significance by volunteering or helping others, while others get it by making more money or through their spiritual life.

Negative ways to achieve significance include having more problems than anyone else!. If you have a lot of problems in your life and you always talk about them, this could be an unconscious way to meet your need for significance.

You can feel significant by putting other people down, gaining an unfair advantage or hurting other people. People can become bullies or rebellious to achieve their need for significance.

Of all the human needs, I feel that the need for significance is a fundamental reason behind many negative and harmful behaviors. It’s a powerful need for many people.

4. The Need for Love and Connection

This fourth human need is for communication, approval, and attachment. It’s about feeling connected with other people on an intimate level and loved by other human beings. Achieving this need can have some downsides. It might involve overcoming a fear of rejection or learning how to handle criticism from others.

Also, when you achieve this need, you might settle down, which makes life very predictable and certain. You then start to crave a little uncertainty and excitement!

Positive ways to meet this need include dating, intimacy, finding the perfect partner or getting married. However, you can also meet this need by joining clubs, social media groups, going to parties, hanging out with friends and interacting with new people on a social level. Walking in nature, even by yourself is also a great way to fulfill this need for love and connection.

If all else fails, get a pet! I know of several people that haven’t yet found their perfect partners, so they have a dog, cat or other pet instead. This helps them fulfill their need for love and connection.

Negative ways of meeting this need include joining a gang or a cult, settling for an average or even a codependent relationship. Perhaps, you’ve been heartbroken in the past, so you settle for an average relationship (or even stay single), so you don’t get hurt again in the future.

The need for significance and the need for love & connection are also a continuum. If you have too much significance in your life, you’ll often notice a lack of connection. This is a reason why certain celebrities become depressed, anxious and lonely. They over-emphasized significance and are now lonely and in need of love and connection.

Too much love and connection, especially in an intimate relationship can reduce your sense of identity as an individual. You’ll no longer feel important as an person. That’s when begin to value significance more than love & connection. So it’s important to strike a balance, so that you feel both significant and loved.

The Last 2 Needs

The 4 human needs that I have covered above are essential for life. We will always do things to meet our need for certainty, uncertainty, significance, and connection. As you can see, you can achieve these in a positive or negative way.

The last two human needs are less important. You can have a relatively good life without striving to achieve these two. They are called “spirit needs” and are essential for achieving happiness and fulfillment. Not everyone will achieve these, but those that do will feel truly fulfilled in life.

5. The Need for Growth

This is the need for the constant development of your intellect, body, spirit, and emotions. As the saying goes, “if you’re not growing, you’re dying“. This is about growing in all areas of life, including your health, relationships, career, finance, wisdom and spirituality.

6. The Need for Contribution

This is a need to get beyond ourselves, to care, protect, and serve other people. The idea around this need is that “it’s not about me, it’s about we“.

Have you ever received some good & exciting news? What’s the first thing you do? You probably share it with someone else. We like to share good and exciting things with other people.

This human need is not about what you get, but about who you become. Contributing makes you happy in the long term. Giving and helping other people is the key to unlocking the feelings of happiness and fulfillment.

Final Words

These are the 6 most basic human needs as identified by Tony Robbins. Let’s do a quick recap.

The first one is the need for certainty. The second one is the need for uncertainty. The third one is the need for significance, the fourth is love & connection. The final two needs are growth and contribution.

I encourage you to look at your life and discover how you can meet these needs in positive or neutral ways. You are the master of your life. You can dramatically improve your life by leveraging the true power of these needs and by meeting them using positive means.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

Reticular Activating System and Goals | How to Use Your Unconscious Mind to Achieve your Goals

In this article, you are going to discover the powerful connection between the reticular activating system and goals. You will then learn 8 fantastic ways to use your reticular activating system to achieve your goals.

We continually get bombarded with information that stimulates our brain. This is why your reticular activating system and goals must be aligned so that you notice the abundance of opportunities that will help you get ahead.

Once you understand the key connections between your reticular activating system and goals, you will be using both your conscious and unconscious mind in harmony. This makes achieving any goal much easier and requires less conscious effort.

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What is the Reticular Activating System?

According to Tech 21century.com, we receive the equivalent of 34 gigabytes of information every day. That’s a huge amount of information and is increasing year by year. The influence of technology, social media, and our very interconnected world constantly bombards us with information to respond to.

If you put 34 gigabytes of information onto your laptop every day for a week, it would become overloaded! Same with us humans!

So to prevent us from being overloaded, we have the reticular activating system (RAS), and this acts as the gatekeeper. It takes in the 34 gigabytes of information that come from our 5 senses. It then filters out the unnecessary from the important. The reticular activating system decides which information to pay attention to and what can be ignored. A staggering 99% of all sensory input is ignored by the conscious mind.

Your subconscious mind will pick up everything. It’s the reticular activating system that alerts the conscious mind to information that is important. The reticular activating system learns over time and alerts you to the same information on multiple occasions. That’s one of the ways that a habit is formed.

However, our conscious mind is smarter. So if you pay attention to something consciously, your reticular activating system will put it on the more important list. The reticular activating system will then start to unconsciously notice things that are relevant to what you are paying attention to.

It’s for this reason that the reticular activating system is super important for goal setting. It plays a key role when you focus on what you want. It’s also important for sustaining life, and I’ll cover this in a moment.

Examples of the Reticular Activating System in Action

Here are some examples of the reticular activating system in action.

  • You buy a new car and then notice other people driving the same car. Why? Because the model of your new car is now unconsciously on your important list. Your reticular activating system notices other people that also have the same car.
  • You are a pregnant woman, and you notice other women who are pregnant because this is now on your important list.
  • As you learn a new word, perhaps some technical jargon or abbreviation, you start to hear other people saying that word a lot.
  • You are at a party with lots of noise. Whilst in a conversation, someone shouts your name. You hear your name through all the background noise. Why? Because your unconscious mind knows that your name is important and it picks that up.
  • When your baby coughs or cries at night, your reticular activating system will wake you up from deep sleep to attend to the baby. That’s because one of the functions of your reticular activating system is sustaining life.

Your reticular activating system will also help you focus on one thing as well if that’s seen as important. Let’s say that you’re completely engrossed in a soccer match or a movie. Your reticular activating system will not bring other things into your conscious awareness unless they are more important than the soccer match or movie.

Reticular Activating System and Goals

Your reticular activating system is the mechanism in your brain that helps make goals happen. With conscious direction (such as writing down goals and focusing on what you want) you begin to attract people, things, places, situations and opportunities into your life.

Here are some examples of this happening.

  • You have decided to eat clean and healthily so that you can increase your energy and lose weight. You start flipping through the pages of a magazine and your reticular activating system unconsciously spots a relevant article or recipe that will help you. If you had tried to do that consciously, would you have found it? Probably not.
  • You’re trying to solve a technical problem on your computer. You take a break and start mindlessly surfing the internet. Suddenly an article appears in the search results with the solution.
  • You are a bystander at a party and you overhear a conversation that is highly relevant to the new career goal or job that you have been focussing on and aspiring to attain.
  • Someone says something directly to you and you have an “a-ha” moment because it’s just what you need to hear at the time. You might have heard the same advice many times before, but at this moment, it was important, so you picked it up.

So with all the above examples, the answer was always there. You just didn’t notice it until now.

Have you ever wondered why comedians find jokes in the most bizarre and mundane of situations? Well, a comedian’s reticular activating system is always looking for something that will be great material for a joke and for the funny side of any situation.

To summarize, your reticular activating system is super important because it helps bring people, things, places, situations and opportunities into your life based on what you focus on consistently.

When you lack goal clarity and focus, you miss out on opportunities as your reticular activating system has nothing to go on. If the reticular activating system doesn’t see something as important, you will miss out and it will instead focus on the mundane or negative.

This is why it is so important to focus on what you want. When you focus on bills, lack debt and sickness consistently, then a life of abundance, good health, prosperity, and peace will be out of reach for you.

If you desire a life of abundance, good health, prosperity, and peace, then take time to focus on these in detail. This will get your reticular activating system working for you rather than against you. Keep reading to learn the specific steps to unleash the power of your reticular activating system.

How to Use the Reticular Activating System to Your Advantage

So I’m now going to cover some ways to help you use the reticular activating system to your advantage.

1. Use SMART Goals That are Written Down

A smart goal is one that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound. I recommend that you follow my step by step process for setting goals. Then write them down in your own handwriting. The reticular activating system will act more effectively with handwritten goals, as opposed to goals that have been typed on the computer.

2. Ask Questions to Make the Goal More Vivid

A great question to ask is “how will I know when I have achieved it?” Taking the time to answer this question will help you get your goal extremely clear in your imagination.

Then ask, “what will I see, hear, or feel?” and “where, when, and with whom do I want it?” These questions will help you bring in places and other people and this also helps to make the goal more vivid.

Now ask “what will achieving this goal do for me?” or “what’s the benefit?“. These questions will help you focus on the benefit and the feeling or emotion of that. Really intensifying the feeling of achieving your desired goal will help impress this more deeply on your reticular activating system.

Now ask, “what am I already doing to move towards this goal?” This will focus your mind on the progress that you are already making. Your reticular activating system will pick up on this as well.

Finally ask “what qualities, skills and emotional states do I need to reach my goal?“. This is a great question! It will encourage your reticular activating system to go looking for the qualities, skills, and emotional states that you need and bring these into your life as well.

3. Keep the Goal or Problem to Solve at the Top of Your Mind

Think about your goal many times a day! Talk about your goals to your family, friends, and colleagues that you trust and that believe in you. Write down your goals and dream about them. The more you do this, the more it will impress on your reticular activating system.

Another great way is to post pictures, charts, or graphs of your goal around your house. Find places where you will often notice them unconsciously. Bathroom mirror, fridge, desk and wardrobe doors are great places. Alternatively, create a vision board and post pictures of your goal on there.

4. Take Consistent Action

Consistent action is important in achieving any goal. However, it helps the reticular activating system as well. When you are taking consistent action, you are also thinking about it consistently. Your reticular activating system will act on this and alert you to new opportunities.

5. Train your Reticular Activating System

I had a client recently that had lots of anxiety in her life. I realized very quickly that she only focussed on the negative things that were happening to her. When I mentioned anything positive, she dismissed it immediately.

I asked her to tell me 5 things that went well for her today. She really struggled and after 5 minutes, we only had 3 things and that was with a lot of prompting from me. Her reticular activating system had become so trained to focus on negative things only. As a result, she found it almost impossible to think of anything that was positive or useful for her. It was like the neural pathway in her brain that looks for good things had almost completely closed down.

Here is a great exercise to help train your reticular activating system to notice positive and useful opportunities for you.

Grab a piece of paper and then set a timer for 5 minutes. Now write down everything that you have achieved in your life so far. This will be easy to start with. Examples could include getting a university degree, falling in love, getting married or buying a house. You can add career and health achievements into the mix as well. What about travel and great friends you’ve made? After 2 or 3 minutes you will start to run out of achievements. Keep going and look for smaller achievements. Keep going for a full 5 minutes writing down everything you can think of.

Once the 5 minutes is up, give yourself a pat on the back. What you will notice is that your reticular activating system will keep thinking of other things that you have achieved after the time is up. That’s because you have begun to train your brain to focus on the good things that you have done in your life so far.

6. Create Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations force the reticular activating system to kick in automatically. The reticular activating system then adds these items to its important list. This works best when you do the following 3 things:

  • Speak your affirmations out loud.
  • Create affirmations that are very specific to your goals.
  • Feel the positive emotions that you want to experience as well.

Ensure that your affirmations are stated in the positive. For a goal of losing weight, the positive affirmation could be “I am thin, fit and healthy”.

7. Use Visualization

Your reticular activating system cannot distinguish between real events and synthetic or imagined reality. Anything that you can vividly imagine will seem real to your reticular activating system and it will act on it. Your reticular activating system believes whatever message you give it, whether it comes from external life experiences or something you create inside.

Your imagination and subconscious mind love pictures! It’s even better when you include what you can hear (including your internal self-talk), feel, touch and perhaps taste and smell as well.

It’s also important to make the image very large! Imagine that you’re seeing it on an incredibly large cinema screen. Visualize the goal as having already been achieved.

8. Repetition

This is simply doing as many of the above techniques regularly and consistently. Each time you do one of these techniques, you are building a new mental pathway in your brain. This makes it more important to your reticular activating system. Then your reticular activating system can get on and do its job.

So now you have a much clearer idea on how the reticular activating system actually works. You also have some strategies that you can use to start getting the reticular activating system to focus on the people, things, places, situations, and opportunities that will help you achieve your goals.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul