Tag Archive for: self esteem

The 10 Characteristics of High Self-Esteem and How to Develop Them

A lot of us fail to succeed in life because we don’t think we have what it takes or we are afraid of getting rejected. We miss opportunities and allow doubts and criticisms to take over our decisions because of our low self-esteem. In this article, I will explore the characteristics of high self-esteem and provide tips on how to have it.

Self-esteem is like a continuum from low to high. Rather than having low self-esteem or high self-esteem, it’s often somewhere in the middle. Your level of self-esteem can also vary in different life situations and with different people. However, if you want to be successful in life, high self-esteem is always better. Knowing the characteristics of high self-esteem is the first step to increasing your level of self-esteem.

Most people settle for mediocrity and let opportunities pass them by because they are afraid of taking risks or making bold actions. Don’t allow yourself to become one of those people! Act now and start putting plans in place to boost your self-esteem!

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Here are the characteristics of people with high self-esteem:

1. Leaders with a Clear Vision

People with high self-esteem are leaders. They create their own path in life. They make their own choices and trust their judgment. If someone doesn’t agree with what they want to achieve in life, they don’t feel guilty. They refuse to follow and enjoy carving out their own path in the world.

If you feel that you’re more of a follower than a leader, ask yourself, “What do I really want?” Establish a clear vision in your mind of what you want in each area of your life. Once you have that vision, you will notice more resources and more opportunities to help turn that vision into reality.

2. Guided by Strong Principles

People with high self-esteem are guided by a set of strong principles and values. Some of these values might be honesty, trust, integrity, openness, transparency, or giving value to others. These principles and values provide a roadmap for their life. They believe and act on those principles and values, and they are ready to defend them.

3. Goal-Oriented

People with characteristics of high self-esteem set and achieve short-term and long-term goals. Their goals are aligned with their principles and values. If you are not already doing this, then read my article on how to effectively set and achieve goals.

When they set goals, people with high self-esteem aim high but stay realistic. If you set goals that are not achievable and too challenging, you will not achieve them. And if you do this repeatedly, it will take a knock on your self-esteem. Make sure that the goals you set are realistic but also aim high.

People with high self-esteem have an inner drive to succeed. They know what they want or need, and they focus on getting it. 

They live life on their terms and create an action plan. They believe that when you set goals and create a plan for your life, you’re carving your life in the direction you want. If you don’t create a plan, you can easily and unwittingly become part of someone else’s plan.

It’s crucial to take action and consistently move towards your goals. When you take action, your confidence improves, and your self-esteem increases.

People with high self-esteem are not lazy and don’t procrastinate. They work hard and get things done because they don’t get bogged down in doubts or complaints. They realize that the more they focus on getting things done, the higher their level of self-esteem.

Low self-esteem people often procrastinate. They waste energy thinking about all the work they have to do rather than just getting it done.

4. Believe in Themselves

People with characteristics of high self-esteem see themselves as valuable, self-worthy and know that other people will enjoy spending time with them. They believe that they are equal to others, even if their financial and personal success is lower or higher than other people. They focus on their strengths and don’t compare themselves to others.

They trust their judgment and don’t feel guilty if someone disagrees with them. They don’t criticize themselves and avoid internal negative self-talk.

If you would like to increase your level of self-belief, get rid of limiting beliefs and replace them with positive, empowering beliefs, then this article will show you how.

Another great tip is to focus on your strengths. What are your strong points? What are you good at? Also, notice what your weaker points are. Set small goals to address them and take action. As weaker points improve, your level of self-esteem will increase.

5. Problem-Solvers

People with characteristics of high self-esteem know that obstacles are a necessary part of the road to success. They deal with obstacles by focusing on them as little as possible, but just enough to resolve them.  Their main focus is still on the goal, the vision and their guiding principles and values.

They enjoy self-solving problems. And to quote Marie Forleo, they believe that everything is “figureoutable”. So, whatever the problem, challenge or obstacle, people with high self-esteem will find a way to figure it out.

People with high self-esteem naturally believe that they can do it. They take calculated risks, adjust to failure if it happens, and ask for help if it’s necessary. They’re also not afraid of rejection. Rejection is a part of life, and they don’t take it personally. If you take rejection personally, that can mean that you are avoiding the risks you need to take to get ahead in life and become successful.

6. Take Care of Themselves

People with characteristics of high self-esteem know how to take care of themselves – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. They are very resilient, emotionally strong, and able to recognize the role of negative emotions. They are not afraid of anger, guilt, or fear. Instead they look into the reasons behind these emotions and then address them.

They are comfortable looking at themselves in the mirror, and they have a high degree of self-love and self-respect. Their self-talk is positive, empowering and energizing.

I encourage you to energize yourself with positive and encouraging self-talk. Remember that you are what you think you are and what you say to yourself. When your thoughts and actions are positive, your body will respond with more energy, strength, and drive.

7. Great with People

Among other characteristics, people with high self-esteem don’t try to please everyone and they avoid gossip.

They can also separate emotion from a message. When someone’s angry with them or upset, they can insulate themselves from the emotion and focus on the message that this person is trying to communicate.

They’re also sensitive to other people’s feelings and their needs. They are fine with accepting and indulging compliments. When they are struggling with something, they are not afraid to ask for help.

They have effective communication and influencing skills. When something’s important, they do their best to influence others to see their point of view.

There are 2 types of people in the world – people that radiate energy and people that drain your energy. They are radiators rather than drainers.

Here is a tip to help you develop higher self-esteem and get better with people. Surround yourself with positive and successful people to gain some of that energy and motivation. When you’re around people with high self-esteem, you become more positive and feel better about yourself.

8. Transparent

High self-esteem people are open, honest, and transparent. They speak the truth and embrace honesty with no fear of rejection or any intention to harm another person.

If they do something wrong, they are happy to be responsible, take any blame, and own up to their failings. They are accountable for what they say and what they do.

They can also laugh at themselves and see the funny side. Not taking themselves too seriously, they live with an attitude of humility.

9. Flexible

People with characteristics of high self-esteem are comfortable with change and know when it’s time to try a different approach. They’re not set in their ways, and they can adapt to new technology and new ways of doing things.

10. Live in the Present

They know that the past is the past and that they can’t change it. They have a positive view of the future and the confidence in making that future happen. They don’t worry about the future, and they avoid negative “what if” questions. If they notice them, they come up with a strategy and a plan to address and resolve them.

They understand the difference between the past and the present. Their motto would be “My past doesn’t equal the future”. They won’t think their future depends on their past and see the future as something that they can change and influence right now.

A tip here is to put your past into perspective. Remember that you cannot change it. You can only change how you look at it and the meaning you give to it. You can also draw strength from your past. Notice the victories, successes, and obstacles that you overcame in the past and make good use of the present to prepare for a successful future.

These were my 10 characteristics of high self-esteem and a few tips to increase it. Remember that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more you will achieve in life and the happier you will be. Take time to study these characteristics of high self-esteem and put some plans in place to apply them in your own life.

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul

12 Fantastic Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt Today

We all have goals that we really want to achieve. However, many of us never try or give up too soon because of self-doubt. Self-doubt is thinking you can’t do or achieve something that you eagerly desire.

Everyone has self-doubt. Even the most successful people in the world have it. They, like everybody else, have problems. And anyone facing problems will have an element of self-doubt. I also have self-doubt at times. So far, I’ve delivered around 250 hypnotherapy sessions, but I still sometimes experience the feeling of self-doubt when I see a new client. It’s a human emotion. The only people I can think of that don’t experience self-doubt are those with very high egos, who believe they know it all.

If you are not achieving your goals and feeling stuck, self-doubt might be the reason. However, if you use it constructively, it can help you move forward. What is the opposite of self-doubt? It is self-confidence. I will now show you 12 great ways to help you overcome your self-doubt and gain greater confidence instead.

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1. Believe That You Can Figure It Out

After interviewing many high achievers, Brendon Burchard realized that they had one thing in common. They believed that they could figure out a solution to every problem. With enough time, energy, and information, they could always figure things out.

Think about times when you figured out things you weren’t prepared for. Or solved problems you thought you couldn’t solve. When you remember the times, you figured things out in the past, your level of self-confidence will improve. If you found a way then, you can find a way now. This will help you reduce or even overcome self-doubt.

2. Accept Your Self-Doubt

There can be some truth in your self-doubt. There is always a possibility of failing. Accept that. Then take action anyway! Do it purely for the lesson or experience, no matter what happens. Don’t push that feeling of self-doubt away. Instead, accept it and do it anyway. Feel that self-doubt feeling, and then just let it go.

3. Dump Then Destroy

The conscious mind understands verbal language and self-talk. However, the subconscious mind responds to feelings and emotions. The Dump then Destroy process is a great exercise to satisfy both the conscious and subconscious mind.

How do you do it? First, open a new Word document or grab a journal. Write down all your self-doubt thoughts on a particular situation. Write whatever is bothering you and giving you a feeling of self-doubt. Let your mind go wild and aim for around 750 words.

Once you’ve done that, destroy it! If you wrote them in a Word document, move it to the trash and delete it permanently. If you used a journal or a piece of paper, rip it out, burn it, or enjoy putting it in the bin!

This will give you a cathartic effect. This is a feeling of releasing and letting go of self-doubt. You want that feeling to pour out of yourself so that you no longer feel stuck. Try it and you’ll see that it is a simple and satisfying exercise that will significantly help you to overcome self-doubt.

4. Have Clarity and a Plan

Get clear on what you want. If you don’t have a plan, if you have done little research, or you’re not sure what you need to do, you will have self-doubt. It’s like trying to do a presentation without being prepared. Preparation is very important! So get clear on your goal. Work out the steps and create a plan. This will remove doubts and boost your confidence.

Take some time to do this. Identify the goals, steps, and formulate a plan. This might involve buying a course to learn the steps or finding a mentor to help you. A clear plan or roadmap will massively increase your self-confidence.

5. Filter Out Anything that Makes Self-Doubt Worse

Identify the elements that make your self-doubt worse? Are there people that question what you do, criticize you or put doubt in your mind? Perhaps it’s someone that constantly predicts the bad things that could happen, but never offers a solution.

Remember that their advice is often based on fear. Maybe there is a positive intention behind their advice.  For example, not wanting you to get hurt. Still, their advice is based on their own limitations and fear. If possible, let go of those people or spend less time with them. That’s not always easy, but if you can, and you want to overcome self-doubt, that’s definitely a good thing to do.

What about social media? Do you get self-doubting feelings when you spend time on social media? Maybe you’re seeing super successful people that you feel you can never live up to? Perhaps limiting your time on social media could be helpful as well.

6. Compare Yourself to Who You Want to Be

So many people with self-doubt compare themselves to other people. They look at what other people have or do. The problem is, you don’t know exactly what someone else is thinking or feeling. You don’t know how happy or fulfilled they really are.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to who you want to be. Also compare yourself today with who you were yesterday, or a month ago, or a few years ago. Notice the progress you’re making. It’s much more important to focus on progress and enjoy the journey. And everyone’s journey is different. The things you may need to achieve success could be very different for someone else. The fulfillment and satisfaction you get from that could be very different to another person.

7. Visualize Yourself Succeeding

Are you thinking and imagining how things could go wrong? Maybe you’re imagining yourself messing things up. Instead of that, start visualizing what will happen when you succeed. If you can, spend more time visualizing and focusing on what you want to happen rather than ruminating about what you don’t want. That will make a huge difference. Instead of thinking self-doubtful thoughts, start visualizing how you want things to go.

8. Change Your Physical State

This can be a fantastic way to get some instant relief. Go for a walk or a run; do a workout or some jumping jacks. Get your body moving! That helps release stress. It also puts self-doubt back into its normal place, making it easier to overcome it.

9. Act Now

Hesitation plants seeds of doubt. If you keep hesitating, those seeds of doubt get bigger and more of an issue. So act now if you can. If not, then imagine what your best self would do. Then take action as soon as you can and make corrections as you go along.

Instead of Ready, Aim, Fire. try Ready, Fire, Aim instead. Take action and adjust as you go along. Try it, especially if you’re a perfectionist!

10. Change the Meaning of Past Events

Our brain automatically looks at the past when facing a new experience or a problem. We live today based on what happened in the past. A failure or a difficulty that we experienced earlier will create self-doubt feelings and thoughts in the present. We obviously can’t change the past, but we can change the meaning of past events. Start thinking about them simply as events. Focus on the things you learned from the past that can be useful right now. This could simply be something like, I am never going to do that again.

Also ask yourself, how can I be grateful for this experience and for what I’ve learned from it. This will help you create a different perception and change the meaning of past events.

11. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Your goals, dreams, and the best version of yourself are on the other side of your comfort zone. So what can you do today that is new, uncomfortable, or even scary? If you do it, your self-confidence will improve. Those self-doubt thoughts and feelings will start fading away and you will overcome them.

12. Have a Weekly Evaluation Ritual

We want to change our way of thinking from judging to learning. When you experience self-doubt, your self-talk is often along the lines of:

  • Why did I do this?
  • Why didn’t I do that?

The weekly evaluation ritual helps you change those judging thoughts to learning thoughts. Ask yourself questions like:

  • What did I learn?
  • What went well?
  • Where could I improve?
  • What did I do that made me feel good?
  • What did I do that made me feel a little down?
  • What can I do better next time?

If you ask yourself these questions and do it as a weekly ritual, you’ll change your self-talk from judging and criticizing to learning and evaluating. When you do that, the feelings of disappointment and self-doubt will fade away.

So, these are my 12 ways to help you overcome self-doubt. I hope you found them useful. As always, put them into practice! Try them out on yourself. See which work best for you. And share your experience by leaving a comment below. I’d love to hear how you’re getting on and what helped you overcome your self-doubt the most. 

Thank you for reading this article.  If you enjoyed it and found it useful, then please share it with other people, or on social media.

Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Paul